RHP

RHP User

F47

'So, what's a woman like you doing on this site?'

February 18 2017

This is a question that I've been asked many times by guys not only on this and other adult dating sites, but also on the more supposedly 'vanilla' sites as well. I'm going to admit, it's a question that puzzles me (and induces some eye rolling). Why shouldn't I be on this site? Is there still an assumption that women should be able to find sex and / or relationships in the 'real world', and if they don't or can't then there's something wrong with them? Ladies, have you been asked this and how do you respond? Guys, can you give some insight into the reasoning behind the question?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'CucknShells' admit it is a question I often ask but more so "What brings you here?" I am always interested in how people come to be where they are and the journey it took to get there. However I can see the difference in the OP question with the added a "woman like you". I get the general 'what brings you here?' type questions as well, but the ones I'm referring to in my topic specifically include the 'woman like you' bit. I had a guy ask me again on another site last night and it prompted me to post the topic. I am going to ask this guy directly as well, see what he says about it. It doesn't offend me or anything, but I am curious about it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    On the one hand it reeks of "your a slut but I'm a legend" but on the other it could be just trying to confirm wether casual is your thing or if your on the lookout for a relationship. Which may or may not be a good or a bad thing depending on the individuals. As for "whats wrong with you", well, obviously, same as whats wrong with him ! I think it's awesome that women use these sites, why shouldn't you ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    ...I wouldn't use that line to break the ice, start a conversation or whatever.It's a bit lame. No offence to people that use it. I know how it sounds to me...and that's a bit presumptuous, a bit cocky. A bit know-it-all.I'd rather introduce as friendly and charming, but not interrogating.( My new profile brief eh..? "Koolgrey. Friendly and charming, but not interrogating.." ) I reckon that's a better way to get off to a good start in any introductions.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    ...it is a simplistic lack of creativity and/or a vacuous compliment uttered in an effort to engage with you (and other women) more directly. I am not sure if the men that try this on are serious or suffer from a ''Betty Crocker Complex'' still believing women should be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. I suppose you could set your watch back 50 years and trying answering however doubt you will have much luck. Regards...... CM

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    What's aNice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This? is a 1963 short film that Martin Scorsese created whilst a student at the Tisch School of Arts in New York. It is a comedic piece about a writer who becomes obsessed with a picture he has on his wall. 'Nuf said....

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    8 years ago

    Because I can and my choice. I find that comment a little insulting and flattering at the same time..."A woman like you", what the heck does that mean anyways? I think the person asking that question has presumed a pictular type of woman on here or they think any woman will root them. I have found it mainly comes from men who will root any hole and when they've met a good strong woman, they are questioning their morals because we just don't root anyone. We need some sort of connection. Hope that makes sense. Ms Foxy

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    8 years ago

    It does feel like a bit of an interrogation of some sort. Ms Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Many men I've met, across various age groups and from 3 or 4 different casual dating sites including RHP, have told me that they can't believe I'm not attached. Some, not all, have used the "What's a women like you" question whilst expressing surprise that there's no special man in my life and I haven't had a relationship since my divorce in 1995. But I feel it's none of their business why I'm on casual dating sites or why I've been single again for so long. Unless they want to be exclusive within a worthwhile relationship then they really don't need to know about such things. I get a bit tired of the "What are you after" questions which are parroted by guys on dating sites. I've never asked that question of any men and in turn, it's none of my business what their reasons are for joining casual dating/sex sites either.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    More importantly - just what kind of woman are you? I think that needs to be established before we decide if it's appropriate for you to be in a place like this.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    And when I ask what they mean usually the response I get is along the lines of - because you're married and hot if I was married to you I wouldn't be able to keep off you, doesn't your husband like sex?, is your husband a cuck? Etc I usually just say because I can, and didn't you read my profile? If it's a what brings you here and they want me to expand on my profile then that's different. But "a woman like you" usually is a try hard line meaning you're far too sexy to need a site like this or they are fishing for what's wrong with you. Meanwhile they are also in the site doing the exact same thing. Double standard much?

  • johnisfun3

    johnisfun3

    8 years ago

    So Ms Dragon what is a woman like you doing on this site...... hahahahahah.. Just kidding and trying to lighten up the discussion. I would only use say this with tongue and cheek to start a conversation if I can't think of anything else to say. I have said this before but more as a compliment. Yes maybe the sense of humour is not always the best. It never thought from the women's point of view and they may find it offensive. Good to know. Coming back to your question in my opinion guys don't take lot of things seriously. It also depends on where you are and who is saying to you. I have learnt over the years if someone offends me which does not happen often, I politely in a calm voice let them know I did not appreciate it. You have every right to be offended, but come on life and waste more time pondering on silly things. At least some good has come out of this some of us would not be using this as a conversation starters or pick upline and why should we all the jokes going around on Trump are quite good.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' I find that comment a little insulting and flattering at the same time... My guess is that's their subconscious intention. Make you feel bad, but in a way that they think sounds like they're being nice. Negging wrapped in a compliment pastry. Avoid these people, I reckon.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    It's almost a back handed compliment and the added "site like this" implies there is something not okay with a site like this. Maybe an attempt at a funny icebreaker but too lame to get a reply from me. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    8 years ago

    As an opening line, trying to initiate conversation with a bit of flattery. Is it successful? Not with me; I'm always tempted to reply.....I'm pretty sure my profile outlines what I am doing here. Get back to me after you have read it 😜

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'johnisfun3'You have every right to be offended, but come on life and waste more time pondering on silly things. As I said above I'm not offended by it, nor do I spend hours pondering on it. It's just a common thing guys say that I find a bit tedious and odd, hence posting the topic to find out other opinions. Much the same as many of the women who have commented, I tend to ignore guys who ask this because it's a pretty silly question for a number of reasons.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'ilovelaughter' Many men I've met, across various age groups and from 3 or 4 different casual dating sites including RHP, have told me that they can't believe I'm not attached. The 'why is a woman like you single?!' question, which is similarly annoying. I feel like telling them it's because I've promised myself to my one true love, Satan, and once I've found my five ritual sacrifices from this dating site I can finally be joined to him forever and live happily ever after in the fiery depths of hell.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Should I be offended that I don't get asked this??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...I wouldn't use that line to break the ice, start a conversation or whatever.It's a bit lame. No offence to people that use it. I know how it sounds to me...and that's a bit presumptuous, a bit cocky. A bit know-it-all.I'd rather introduce as friendly and charming, but not interrogating.( My new profile brief eh..? "Koolgrey. Friendly and charming, but not interrogating.." ) I reckon that's a better way to get off to a good start in any introductions. Could have left the rest of the sentence out

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Betty7216' Should I be offended that I don't get asked this?? So....what's a woman like you doing on a site like this?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    That's an epic response! 😀

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I get the equivalent as well... The expectation that I should not be still single based on what they have percieved to be my strengths. However I find it at least flattering if they ask something like that, although obviously disappointing that I have no real answer to the question. In any case the only answer would be to tell them your ENTIRE life story in all detail, with all events, opportunities taken or missed, accidents, coincidences, choices, circumstances etc etc etc. The question is a reflection on your past, but the answer is a reflection on your hopes and desires for the future.

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    8 years ago

    Being asked " why are still single?" I hate both questions and only answer with a "because I want to be"

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    8 years ago

    Seems a corny comment to me .? My hunch is most women here are here because it gives them the chance to explore the naughty side of their personality they might suppress in real life.. Just a observation...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I write a profile and I am open with what I am doing on this site and what I am looking for here. My profiles on any other site are consistent (toned down a little for the vanilla sites ) in that I am not looking for a relationship as such more friendship and companionship. I find it off putting when I see a man on RHP looking for NSA and casual yet looking for 'the one' on a vanilla site. They don't like being called on it either No matter what I put in any profile, I still get questions like:-What are you looking for?Why are you here? What's an attractive/intelligent/bright (chooses your adjective) woman doing here and not dating in the real world? I do the eye roll and smile... and explain myself.... KH

  • Zsuza69

    Zsuza69

    8 years ago

    We sometimes ask what are you looking for on here but that's more directed to the guys that message us. Trying to work out if they are really single or just cheating on his wife. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Summer_in_Sydney' What is a woman like me doing on this site? Looking to find men who would never think to ask that question. All the best in your search... you nailed it !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    It's about as creative as "what are you wearing?"..... Next! xx

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    8 years ago

    I originally came looking for one thing and over time that evolved and now I'm just here for the social aspect ad meeting new people. Why not a vanilla site you ask? Because I'm baresque and politically incorrect and I found most people I know here go with that and aren't frightened by it. 😂 You know the people who view the site as MORE THAN JUST A SEX SITE 😘

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    ...your still the best way to get me off. If I met you in a bar, I wouldn't insult your intelligence...but I'd offer to buy you a ginger beer.Like you...something sweet, but peppery. With just a hint of bite.. Then I'd sacrifice a goat at the altar of the Dragon Goddess..

  • cat_n_the_hatter

    cat_n_the_hatter

    8 years ago

    about reality in today's world than any tv show, radio or any other media. I was talking with some women regarding this topic, and wanted to find out more about what motivates women to be on sites like this. Is it money, gifts, double life, power, control, image issues, hedonism, needs and urges,intimacy ..and what kind or intimacy? Men seem not to need a reason for being there, but for women it is different. Society demands some kind of justification. In any way women seem to have a need to rationalise. For some of them power play, money and control are more acceptable than others, as they are often perceived by society as of more value. Men with those characteristics are respected and valued members of society. Are we just looking for a way to escape the profanity of the 'real' world? (Ms)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Sheep to heaven... You know the rest.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...your still the best way to get me off. If I met you in a bar, I wouldn't insult your intelligence...but I'd offer to buy you a ginger beer.Like you...something sweet, but peppery. With just a hint of bite.. Then I'd sacrifice a goat at the altar of the Dragon Goddess.. *swoon

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'KillerHeelz' I write a profile and I am open with what I am doing on this site and what I am looking for here. My profiles on any other site are consistent (toned down a little for the vanilla sites ) in that I am not looking for a relationship as such more friendship and companionship. I find it off putting when I see a man on RHP looking for NSA and casual yet looking for 'the one' on a vanilla site. They don't like being called on it either No matter what I put in any profile, I still get questions like:-What are you looking for?Why are you here? What's an attractive/intelligent/bright (chooses your adjective) woman doing here and not dating in the real world? I do the eye roll and smile... and explain myself.... KH Rehearsed conversation, like telling a joke, to get the ball rolling. Better than "So why don't you take it up the arse ? "

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Is..So have you had any luck here ?...I think it shows a complete lack of imagination and that question Miss Dragon shows how many men still view sexually active women ..sad but true Q

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    8 years ago

    Im here to perve and play with my vagina. That kinda makes me a perverted woman, so what's a man Ike you doing here dumbarse. 😜 - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    As usual, the women simply expect the men to be doing all the work here. If you could make it a little simpler we're all going to have a better time on this sex site without all the wasted social interaction and unnecessary conversation. Based on the above, and for the avoidance of doubt, I suggest at a minimum you answer the following questions in your profile: What kind of a woman are you?And what are you doing in this place?Why don't you already have a boyfriend?Why don't you take it up the arse?You sound perfect, what is wrong with you?What are you wearing?What are you looking for? (yes I know you all tell us that already, but dumb it down a little please)What brings you here? (as above)So have you had any luck here? (feel free to answer this one with how desperate you are feeling right now)R u a kinky hooker? Can't be that hard. Ok I know most guys aren't going to read it, but there's a simple solution to that too. Please all record a video message where you 1, show us your tits (to make sure you have our attention) and 2, read your profile for us (in a breathless Marilyn type voice I suggest, just to make sure we don't focus solely on the tits). Always happy to help

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I think its because he has looked at your profile and thinks you look wonderful and shouldnt have any trouble finding guys in the real world. I have been asked the same question and so I asked what they meant. And both guys have said its because they think my pics are gorgeous and that i should have guys falling over themselves wanting to meet me in the real world. Would be great if that was true lol So I dont think its them being rude just trying to compliment thats all. But in some cases it might not be that. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Summer_in_Sydney' r u a kinky hooker? strange _______________________________________________________________ Maybe he thinks you play rugby and was worried that you hurt your neck in the scrum??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'that50zguy' Quoting 'KillerHeelz' I write a profile and I am open with what I am doing on this site and what I am looking for here. My profiles on any other site are consistent (toned down a little for the vanilla sites ) in that I am not looking for a relationship as such more friendship and companionship. I find it off putting when I see a man on RHP looking for NSA and casual yet looking for 'the one' on a vanilla site. They don't like being called on it either No matter what I put in any profile, I still get questions like:-What are you looking for?Why are you here? What's an attractive/intelligent/bright (chooses your adjective) woman doing here and not dating in the real world? I do the eye roll and smile... and explain myself.... KH Rehearsed conversation, like telling a joke, to get the ball rolling. Better than "So why don't you take it up the arse ? " Surely you have other options

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Betty7216' Quoting 'that50zguy' Quoting 'KillerHeelz' I write a profile and I am open with what I am doing on this site and what I am looking for here. My profiles on any other site are consistent (toned down a little for the vanilla sites ) in that I am not looking for a relationship as such more friendship and companionship. I find it off putting when I see a man on RHP looking for NSA and casual yet looking for 'the one' on a vanilla site. They don't like being called on it either No matter what I put in any profile, I still get questions like:-What are you looking for?Why are you here? What's an attractive/intelligent/bright (chooses your adjective) woman doing here and not dating in the real world? I do the eye roll and smile... and explain myself.... KH Rehearsed conversation, like telling a joke, to get the ball rolling. Better than "So why don't you take it up the arse ? " Surely you have other options So many men men, so little imagination! Most men wait until at least the second message for that one. And are quite perplexed why I explain - sometimes in great anatomical detail - why I don't ...... Luckily I have other options.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Of course I do, but those are the easy options, the stereotypes, how do I start a conversation? Mail me 😇

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'purplehaze4u' I think its because he has looked at your profile and thinks you look wonderful and shouldnt have any trouble finding guys in the real world. There are so many reasons why it's not that simple. I don't go out much these days and anyway, I very rarely get hit on in the 'real world' (yes I know I can hit on them if I want to). Maybe if I went around wearing the sort of things I'm wearing in my profile pics I would (or I could just end up getting arrested for public indecency)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    You crack me up

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'SimonDoes' As usual, the women simply expect the men to be doing all the work here. If you could make it a little simpler we're all going to have a better time on this sex site without all the wasted social interaction and unnecessary conversation. Based on the above, and for the avoidance of doubt, I suggest at a minimum you answer the following questions in your profile: What kind of a woman are you?And what are you doing in this place?Why don't you already have a boyfriend?Why don't you take it up the arse?You sound perfect, what is wrong with you?What are you wearing?What are you looking for? (yes I know you all tell us that already, but dumb it down a little please)What brings you here? (as above)So have you had any luck here? (feel free to answer this one with how desperate you are feeling right now)R u a kinky hooker? Can't be that hard. Ok I know most guys aren't going to read it, but there's a simple solution to that too. Please all record a video message where you 1, show us your tits (to make sure you have our attention) and 2, read your profile for us (in a breathless Marilyn type voice I suggest, just to make sure we don't focus solely on the tits). Always happy to help are always welcome For the avoidance of doubt....love it SD... and so glad you are here to help (especially when providing a giggle at your gender's expense) KH

  • compressor

    compressor

    8 years ago

    there are so many people from different backgrounds and different situations and so many different reasons. No one type here

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Tch tch, so quick to judge you totally missed it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I haven't been asked this much. Probably obvious I'm desperate 😀

  • Orangegirl95

    Orangegirl95

    8 years ago

    I get similar questions a lot.. More geared towards why are you on here and single which drives me buts because why can't I be? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'that50zguy' Tch tch, so quick to judge you totally missed it. Ahh - but did I? And I don't judge .... I just state what I have observed x KH

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' I haven't been asked this much. Probably obvious I'm desperate 😀 Me too, apparently

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    They must think we belong in a place like this 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I love women's on this site .. most of them are very friendly and rest of them to comments lol - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    to me

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'Summer_in_Sydney' I'm part of the furniture. That's what my neighbours/landlords say about me :P

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Why is it that being a sexually progressive woman still seems to surprise some men? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'LaFemmeFontaine' Why is it that being a sexually progressive woman still seems to surprise some men? because they see this place as something more akin to a "last resort", and that finding partners IRL would be easy. Their thoughts are that if they were able to score more easily, they wouldn't be here. It needn't have anything to do with being sexually progressive or not.