M56 F52

Social meets

May 28 2015

We have been on the swinging scene for around 7 years now and have explored almost every avenue of the lifestyle. There's just one side that we just can't seem to master and that's the local social side. Meeting couples and singles locally just for the social side. Meeting likeminded people say on a Sunday afternoon for a drink and a chat. Is there bars out there that discreetly cater for swingers that we are missing out on? When you do get the chance to meet local people they tend to feel like everybody is staring at us but if truth be known we are just like everybody else in the bar. Are we looking for something in this lifestyle that's not there? Is it something people want to bring out of the closet once or twice a month then go back to their mr and mrs jones life We have come across some great people within the scene that we connect with socially but not sexually but once they find out there's no sexual connection there out of there. We've been to a few swingers clubs and they seem to be very clicky and most couples seem to think " if I talk to them I have to shag them" We'd even be prepared to travel to the city every couple of weeks to catch up with people if we knew where to go.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Met a few really awesome people on here, and our relationships are just social. A couple have become extremely good friends and I am hoping one day to meet a few more xx

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RHP User

10 years ago

I spent a weekend in a house with a few couples and singles..some I knew well,others I had never met before..it was amazing,there was a core group of people who were connected by friendship,they were both friends and lovers and very comfortable with each other..sex was sometimes a part of the equation but not always ..compersion is a term I have always struggled with but I feel I understand it now after this weekend..jealousy was never present ..well not that I saw...I have a background in community cultural development and this was a small community..eighteen people,their relationships were many layered,many different permutations..but there is basically one woman who was responsible for bringing this diverse group together..she was the hostess and connector..the driving force ,,would it have happened without her,I doubt it...So OP,anything is possible,as someone else said,start with the meet and greets...people travel from one side of the country to another..post on the forums..it takes time but it's so worth it xxFreya

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RHP User

10 years ago

...mastered the social side... (there's another side?) Seriously, the member run meet & greets here are great for connecting and chatting with like-minded people. I'm sure you're aware, but I have also found that some of the swinger's house parties appeal to couples (& women) that just want somewhere to chat and chill out in an openly communicative environment, I have been to quite a few. Sometimes the above are not charged any entry, which is why they seem to use it often as a social hang out, regardless of whether they decide to play or not. I have even spent the entire night chatting and not played too (ok frankly not that I didn't have any other hopes!) But I agree with the others above that you can't have too many platonic friends either. These friends are some of the few people in this world who can know the entire "real you", and yet still accept you for it. For me, I can be honest with these friends in a way I wouldn't dare with anyone else. And they have the truely relevant experience to be able to help you if you need advice.

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RHP User

10 years ago

for just a coffee... Do you honestly need to have coffee with other swingers?? Don't you have other friends that you enjoy coffee with?? - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

I often meet people from this lifestyle just for coffee? We'll that's me anyways :)

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DynamicCouple36

10 years ago

We enjoy the social side of it more than the swinging side. Meeting a couple for drinks and or dinner, having a good chat, perhaps flirting a little at the table. If we play then that's a bonus. If not, we still have a good time. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

After a few lunches/dinners/days out we decided to start up a social group. One Sunday we all got together (with the kids) and played lawn bowls which was a lot of fun considering most of us were novices, and the club put on a BBQ. A few of us are meeting for lunch today, and the girls meet up regularly for a drink or coffee and catch up. The atmosphere is always relaxed, and many new friends have been made. It works well in Perth, not sure if its because we are isolated or because Perth itself is quite compact, but we have a great social circle here. Its great for the people who have their children at the weekends because they can still meet up and socialise with other likeminded people.

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Lovinit28andKC72

10 years ago

My friends are swingers, can I not enjoy coffee with them also?? I think coffee can be enjoyed by everyone and anyone, regardless of what lifestyle there choose.....💋

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RHP User

10 years ago

Yes we have other friends for coffee meets etc but the point is you can't be open with them like you can with your swinger friends who know the real you.

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RHP User

10 years ago

I have to ask why you feel everyone is staring at you? I'm assuming you're not ripping each other's clothes off or shouting across the room about your latest DP adventure? I've been to a fair few social meet and greets (day and night) where none of they other patrons looked at us twice. Well, that is until a few of us girls started making out... ;-)

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RHP User

10 years ago

Swinging for me is 9 parts social 1 part sex if that. Not when I started, I wanted 10 parts sex, but that can get rather dull. There is a certain freedom hanging out with like minded people. No sexual hangups a more relaxed and close friendship. Guess it has something to do with knowing them, not always in a direct sexual way. For me being open about my sexuality also helps, which in the non swinging scene does not get a chance to be known, nor do I feel comfortable as there is still a lot of prejudice around. As for going to normal pubs, never had a problem, its not like we all have swingers written on our forehead, and we manage to keep our uncontrollable need to strip off and boogie in check. Just like any other social group enjoying conversation over a beer or coffee. Most people are to caught up in their own things to notice some of the subject matter. If they do over hear and find offence maybe they should stop listening in. You say OP Quote;" if I talk to them I have to shag them" can not say I have ever experienced that type of view from swingers. newbies yes, but they work it out. We are not all single minded sex fiends, just normal people with a liberal view in regards to sex and most things

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RHP User

10 years ago

Look at the events page on rhp. There are plenty of social events that attract a lot of swingers. Find a local one and have a squeeze. I think most of them are sponsored by rhp too.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Yer we've been to a couple of those meet and greets and they've got a little out of hand towards the end of the night. :). Well maybe there's an opening in the market. We have gay bars, singles bars maybe we should open a couples bar 😀

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neapolitan_guy

10 years ago

I seriously found this interesting and helpful then lost it with Sir Stir's observation about effort to enjoy a coffee. Thank you all for the food for thought and Sir Stir for the laugh, I'm only laughing with people not at people. Cheers Adam - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Koko's idea about organising some social events that don't necessarily involve sex works well. I'm in the process of organising a little winery tour - just half a dozen of us in a 8 seater van - the idea being to spend time doing something fun, but with my 'non-vanilla' friends. And now I'm going to pinch the lawn bowls idea (there's a bowling club in Bruswick that takes a very relaxed approach to groups of novice bowlers)!!!

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RHP User

10 years ago

Not saying playmates can't also be friends, but why push it? Just relax...enjoy :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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Hottie1

10 years ago

Thank you beautiful lady. There are a small handful of you lovely ladies from up yonder that hold a special place in my heart and on my guest list ;) I have surrounded myself with awesome friends and lovers who I don't always have sex with. I look for people who I think my friends and lovers will get along with too. I always 'host', whether I am out as a 'single', in couples or groups and if play ensues, so be it! Each time I host I learn a little about me and others and I have been accused of being fickle because I have excluded people before and will do again, if I don't think the group dynamics will work. OP, to answer your question, yes friendship can occur, we are proof of that. Some people find it quickly, others take time. We have friends that we go out with, have sleepovers with, and go away with, and it doesn't always involve sex. We also enjoy a good coffee with them too! There are cliques where ever you go and the swinging world is the same as the real world, not everyone you speak to thinks you want to bonk them. Keep doing what you are doing, go to parties, large and small and develop a network and see how that goes. Mary xx

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