F50

Special Requests

January 18 2018

Have you encountered a situation whereby you are in an exchange of msgs/chat to suss each other out before casual play whilst all of a sudden, the men's fantasies sound like too much work for something that you aren't even sure will become a regular thing after the first meet? Often, we juggle work and other real-life commitments. And whilst I love lingerie, it might not be practical for me to be on my feet or running about the whole day at work, and then rush to a play meet on stilettos, stockings, and the whole she-bang, especially since I don't drive and literally have to lug stuff around. I love dressing up in the bedroom for special occasions... and special guys. And when it might be a one-time thing, I really dislike the list of requests some guys make. I feel fetishes and anything elaborate should be placed on the backburner in the early "getting to know you stage". Initially, isn't it about making each other feel comfortable? I feel that some guys just want way too much too soon. And I'm sorry but until it's established that we will be regular FWBs, I would like to select which lingerie I wear and passively dislike having to fulfill a list of what they want me to wear, especially since I don't bother to specify what they have to wear... I just want them to be themselves. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had similar experiences?

Comments

swingalingson

7 years ago

Your profile pics is extremely inviting. Nice lingerie. The pic is of you in a sexy outfit. Perhaps have a different pic of you in casual clothes or naked. That way the guys have no initial idea that you dress that way. Yeah lugging stuff around sucks. Just a note on things. Us guys do have our sex bags with stuff in it But hey just let the guys know no expectation and show up as you are. If they do not like it I'm sure there are plenty guys that appreciate a classy woman's company.

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gazpacho

7 years ago

That’s why there’s Hellfire Club. Surely there’s no point getting gigged up in all your splendid finery and only being seen by one person! Go out in public! Meet, dance, party, see a show... smooch or whatever... catch a cab back home and fulfill the fantasy. Hugs Gaz

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RHP User

7 years ago

Totally agree I always love the question What are you wearing during Chat/messaging. Well tbh I am probably sitting in my PJS with bed bed hair until they request photo of course. I have dressed up for a specific requirement but only if I have the time. For a regular FWB happy to put something nice on but most of the time its naked and get right to it. I am not keen either on a huge list of requests. Really?? Aint nobody got time that

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MsJonesy

7 years ago

His mind sounds like a fantasy land. If he is not going to bother asking what your special requests may be, I don't think I would bother with him at all.

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Sawadee

7 years ago

... you've been around long enough to know men will promise all these things yet at the moment of truth fail to deliver ? Its all in the game of bravado and what we'd like to do vs the reality of what we can deliver.. I agree ' it's not realistic to expect you to work all day then run home and change into your lingerie , feel sexy and be all ready to forefill some guys fantasy..

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sweetgem

7 years ago

One of my exes was like that, PurePeony. He loved women dressed in knee high boots over skinny jeans and tight tops! So, at the time we were dating, he asked me to dress exactly like that when we went out! He would show more affection when I dressed like that, but didn’t bother much when I decided to dress what I liked to wear! You can imagine how long that relationship had lasted! 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile

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sweetgem

7 years ago

I know my experience wasn’t about special requests for me to wear lingeries in the bedroom, but it has the same vibe as for making unreasonable requests 😛 - Posted from rhpmobile

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PurePeony

7 years ago

I'm sooo relieved! Thanks all of you! I really want to be just myself and not have to go through all that effort for casual flings. For a FWB and especially for a bf, I would. I feel kinda exploited in a way if I went out of my way with logistics etc and all they had to do was turn up in any clean ol' underwear. 😛🤣 I had a DOM once who wanted to go the distance with the Sub thing on the first (and only) play date! 😲🤤 WTH... don't they realise there's no such thing as an instant Dom-Sub relationship?! I had to tell him no less than four times that there's no time for fancy posturing because I had to leave in 2 hrs. Duh! He's lucky I didn't enslaven him because I didn't perceive him to be powerful enough to be a DOM and that was the first time I thought that maybe in a switch because I sure felt more "powerful" than him! 🤣 I had more of the go-getter "I just want sex, stop fucking around! " demeanour, pun intended. 😜 Sweetgem, welcome back! 😉👍 It's the same concept. I get tired of people asking for way too much when they are prepared to give nada back in return. 😝 To top it off, I've been on dates where I've been left standing by myself in a dark street to wait for my Uber whilst they retreat back to their cozy home to sleep! Sheesh... definitely not a gentleman!

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PurePeony

7 years ago

...I suddenly thought of is this - these guys want to order pizza with all the works according to their specification, have you deliver it AND pay for their meal! 😝😝😝 Times like these, them lethal boots come in handy! 🤣

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RHP User

7 years ago

Demands about lingerie early on would be a red flag. It's like being treated as just a ho. Unappealing much. LC.

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Haleakala

7 years ago

It's typically a one way street dressing for play, woman all dressed up and guy just in his best jocks. The thing with fantasies and fetishes is ideally they need to be shared. It's unreasonable to expect someone to fulfill your fantasies when you barely know them unless it's also fulfilling their own fantasy. Perhaps if he wants you dressed in the finest lingerie he will have some Agent Provocateur or Honey Birdette sets their waiting for you to change into on your arrival and pamper you whilst you get ready 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile

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PurePeony

7 years ago

Lovechild, that's exactly what I thought! I feel like they are treating me like a prostitute and I have to turn up dressed in whatever they desire. The only difference is, prostitutes get paid for the effort! 🤣 Temp_Territorian, now that's a gentleman! 👍 I did meet a guy at short notice once, and he was going to take me to a nice shop to select something nice. I declined because I am not comfortable with spending other people's money. 😛 That, and you are spot on re. Shared fantasies and fetishes! Men with sexual fantasies and fetishes almost never hear your gentle protests. 🤤😧 Even after stepping the assertiveness up a notch or two and declaring in no uncertain terms that you need more time if you want to explore whatever whichever, they still have not heard what you are saying. 😫😧 Maybe next time, I should retort with, "OK, I'll do that for you if you dress up like a character in Game of Thrones / Batman / insert whatever ... for me!" 🤣🤣🤣 That'll be calling it even. 😜😁

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PurePeony

7 years ago

Am I a hopeful eternal optimist? I always prefer to think that the next guy will be "different" and not write an entire gender off! 🤣😜

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SeekingAdvent380

7 years ago

those men do exist PurePeony. Somewhere in between mild mannered pushover and bad boy player lurks a lesser known genuine breed of man that doesn't mind getting his hands dirty (absolutely filthy at times!) while still having plenty of respect for the well being of his feminine counterparts. Don't lose faith! - Posted from rhpmobile

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EarthQueen

7 years ago

Yes I think its a bit pushy. I don't like having to tick anyones boxes when I don't know them well and answer 20 questions about my shoe and lingerie collection and what he thinks I should wear when we meet. One guy I chatted to was obsessed by lycra. We didn't chat for long.

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sweetgem

7 years ago

For the welcome back message 🙏🏼 I will continue to love myself more and more 🤗 - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

How long do I have to know you before I can suggest bringing the strap-on around? :p - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

I assume you don't mean the cyclist variety? :p - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

My interests I feel can be more or less gauged by reading my profile, and interests list, or even forum posts. (I'm more liberal on fetlife). I assume a future partner will bring up any common interests or their fantasies in due time. However I am happy to chat about interests and various activities with a fwb, but in a general way, nothing like actually suggesting it to try. I'm actually a bit slow, the other person tends to have to poke and prod in order to get my interests regarding them out, including things like their clothing. Perhaps because, all of my interests aside, I am just happy for them to simply be present. But then again a way of showing confidence is to talk about what you would like. I am still learning to walk the tightrope in the middle! - Posted from rhpmobile

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Sawadee

7 years ago

Nothing wrong with being the eternal optimist. One of my favorite things is to look directly into the eyes of the woman I'm about to undress. At a moment like that , what she's wearing is not all that important.. I'm really more interested in her as the nice sexy person I'm about to get naked with.. ?

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