F55
Stuck In the Middle
December 05 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
There are plenty of men out there that want just that. Sometimes it is nice to have a dinner companion. Sghare a nice meal or a show before spending time in the sack. THey are hard to find but keep on trying until you get what you want anway.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was hoping you were talking about spitroasting...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm looking for that same thing op. I don't wish to be tied down per se in a relationship, but open to it, providing it evolved on its own. However, not wanting a different woman every weekend it'd be nice to be able to get comfortable a little bit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I hear a lot of this NSA shit... That is a guy thing..... NON fckn COMMITMENT!!! Even the beautiful gorgeous sexually OOOOOOZING Meeks just wrote it in another forum post yesterday.. Sex is BORING if there is no mental connection... SO.. you girls want to be the Liberated women.. doing male stuff of bonking anyone they want and getting on with your life... THEN all of a sudden.. you realize it is NOT what you THOUGHT it would be.. and you want SOMETHING more.. THAT my dear OP.. is NOT NSA sex :) Look at it from the males perspective.. NSA is male domain.. and you girls.. for generations.. have HATED it, and scorned men for it. NOW you want it.. but.. with extras... NSA.. becomes ACOSWBOK (A Couple Of Strings Would Be OK) The next step after that then becomes a relationship... which will fck you around like your last one.. and you will return here next year and do the same cycle again! AND a FWB??? I am sure you would like that.. until you realise he is someone ELSEs FWB too... :) Honestly... shouldn't you be looking for a married men..and become his bit on the side?? OR stay in your original relationship.... and then get YOUR bit in the side... IN GENERAL.. single women DO NOT do NSA sex.. there is amost ALWAYS strings attached... But.. all power to those girls who do it successfully
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it is some kind of ongoing relationship fb,fwb,then I think there is a bit of string,unless it is just a bonk and go.If you know nothing about the other person and could care less,then that is NSA definitely. A woman posted here a few months ago that she didn't ever see a lover more than 3 times because she didn't want to engage her emotions or have her lovers get too attached. Some women who already have an intimate relationship with a husband or partner seem to only want the NSA ,it is just about sex for them until...humans ,yes even men lol experience emotional attachment...they may not be looking for it but it happens. Yes it is possible to find a man or a woman who is wanting a similar arrangement,I assume OP you mean someone you can see on a regular basis in and out of the bedroom,but who doesn't want to live with you.Sounds simple but in reality I think it is difficult to find and then to maintain. The other thing I wanted to mention is that 6 months of being a singleton is not long,just relax and enjoy whoever comes along,whether it is for a night,a day or longer enjoy.x R
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RHP User
12 years ago
Finding a guy that wants that kind of involvement will take some time. Good luck with your search.If you read through Cavey's bile he does actually make one good point - perhaps a married man that is allowed out to play may be what you are looking for.And for the record Cavey, a lot of women enjoy ANSA (Absolutely No Strings Attached) sex. In my case it was the guys that were the ones wanting strings.(Notice I said involvement not commitment. Big difference.)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think we all evolve on this thing Its wheeeeeeeeeee look mah no hands and I am fucking every thing with a pulse To meeting men and women, to talking off-line to then putting on the breaks a bit and reflection of what is good for us at a point in time rhp is like a river, it runs its course, its rapids then calm then little off shoots of the river. Cavey is right on the nail in the nsa, fwb thing soon the strings form they are called adhesions, they can hurt sometimes It would be nice to have that big love like in the movie s, but reality is more down to earth Your lovely Lindy, your smart and warm and delightful so don’t feed strawberries to pigs You will soon find that guy, just around the corner, he could be the butcher the baker the candlestick maker Find him offline if you can, that’s not always easy online its just smoke and mirrors go to those singles things in the local paper and When I get the BBQ going for a meet and greet then come to those. social meet and greets off-line are the way to go. People need to go to those more often especially the single men No shit they hardly turn up at all, so what does that tell you ladies? the real guys make the effort those that want to just get their dick wet keep it all online and random fucks. Like meeka says, don’t just be someone’s experience women are not free hookers though people will think you are, if they know your on a sex date site. What women want is men that give a fuck, they do not want men to take over their lives or be the all singing all dancing. What they want is a man who will put some effort in to make them feel like they are more than a hole. Not a big ask me thinks. Nothing wrong with wanting to go to the next level, a step at a time.
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' Look at it from the males perspective.. NSA is male domain.. and you girls.. for generations.. have HATED it, and scorned men for it. NOW you want it.. but.. with extras... NSA.. becomes ACOSWBOK (A Couple Of Strings Would Be OK) The next step after that then becomes a relationship... which will fck you around like your last one.. and you will return here next year and do the same cycle again! Cavey, hilarious. Try saying ACOSWBOK five times fast.In seriousness am thinking you are stuck in the middle as repeated social dates with sex with one person and a connection sounds IMHO more like a relationship material to me. As FWB is rare as hens teeth you are left with the choices of NSA or relationship. Either of which your not really after.
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RHP User
12 years ago
The short answer in my humble opinion is No We live in the FIFO culture – I live just down the road from you - 10kms Most of the Perth guys on here are FIFO or married…and the FIFO component influences everything here (as you know)..plus the age bracket that you and I are looking at indicates that the men that we would be seeking for that elusive FB relationship – has more than likely come out a long term relationship – they are angry, bitter (especially if they have just divvied up the assets) and annoyed they have to pay child support and they needed their ego stroked….and apparently bedding lots of women makes them feel better about themselves !!!…does my comment sound jaded and cynical ? perhaps - and if you looking at finding this man via this network…well you know how small Perth is – even more so SOR – chances are we all know each other - I’m not saying stop looking, not at all.. but take each encounter as it comes for what it really is …in their mind its NSA and that is that…… and yep if you want a list of all the muppets from this site within a 100 kms of Rocky …yep I’ve noted them all down !!!...message me !!! J
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RHP User
12 years ago
I disagree with the real guys make the effort. In my situation, as we saw just recently, I'd tee'd up accommodation for a meet and greet in Sydney. Organised my loads to have me in town, then.....the very load that was going to get me to Sydney was canned 2 hours prior to loading. Now I maybe nit picking on this one, but does circumstances beyond my control make me less genuine and real??
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RHP User
12 years ago
I remember when I first joined arguing the FWB situation as I felt that a guy just wanted all the benefits of having a GF without the commitment. To me it was like, what you are just seeing me until something better comes along? Tuscanred, I wish I could fuck anything with a pulse but with me if you haven't turned me on & captured my interest on mental level I am usually not that turned oh physically either. So I may occasionally sleep with someone cause they look pretty but I have no interest beyond that .. Often in my experience the whole thing isn't really worth it. I really wish I was someone who enjoyed tasting all the candies in the store because I feel like I am missing out on something. And I hate to miss out!! My views have changed enormously thanks to the forum. I now realise that I too want FWB situations because if nothing else the sex is better. Oh and gosh darn does that mean I have a relationship? Yep! Does this mean that I can, in some rare instances, love that person. Yep it does. The difference is Cavey & Araps is that I don't want to own you, I just want relationships with people who's views and values are similar to mine and hopefully once the sex is no longer there we will still remain friends. Okay, sometimes these things go horribly wrong and someone's feelings change and so do their expectations but to me it's worth that risk :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
AND I don't want to belong to anyone!! I know Handmaiden will tell me I just haven't met the one and maybe she is right. And thank you to TR and Cavey for the lovely compliments. Right back at you. :D
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
Meeks, you post makes an interesting point and and hope you find someone. I am just not sure about the whole thing not being able end in a train wreck when human emotions are involved but like you said its worth the risks.Does then saying its now a relationship instead of NSA mean that after a period of time it has to get to a stage with the sex is no longer there... You sound like your pretty creative and they wouldn't get bored of you too easily.Cheers W.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You said it girl
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry I forgot to mention that I do have this. I have a regular FWB who is more friend I think. I first came across him on this forum and he has been instrumental in my changing views. I have personally known him for almost two years now. And yes I ask how his wife is, and how is the boyfriend? He is a busy man. Lol. I wouldn't mind 2 or 3 male bonking buddies and maybe a girlfriend to go to the clubs with. I like group sex... Wanna keep doing it here and there :) Don't ask for much do I :D I think a lot of people's confusion stems from the belief that these relationships have to lead somewhere. As I tell my friends. Why? Why does it always have to lead to something can't I enjoy friendship and sex as a fun part of life without any thoughts of tomorrow. But then again I have never been one for setting goals. Lol. Also a big thing for me... Why do I have to settle for the one? Why can't it be two or three?
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RHP User
12 years ago
But I agree six months is not very much and you would be warned to be careful as you are setting yourself up for a fall. Guys want the sex and rarely the friendship...I have asked before if guys like to enjoy dinners etc with women and mostly its the married ones that answer they do...with their wives.Occasionally you will find said friend with benefit so good luck. Read the forums and beware the MEN.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I think a lot of people's confusion stems from the belief that these relationships have to lead somewhere. As I tell my friends. Why? Why does it always have to lead to something can't I enjoy friendship and sex as a fun part of life without any thoughts of tomorrow. But then again I have never been one for setting goals. Lol. Also a big thing for me... Why do I have to settle for the one? Why can't it be two or three? This part describes me perfectly.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for all the comments and really enjoyed reading the points of view. I in fact was unsure of using the term NSA as I really don't like it myself. However it is the best term used for what most sexual encounters are. Yes six months is not a long time but there was no sex in the marriage or very little of it for two years. So all I did have was a husband that reverted back to being a friend only. We are still friends and have split our assets with dignity.I'm a passionate woman and emotions are part of the sex that I have it's what makes me feel sexy. Most of the men I have met have been great and respectful. Only one bad experience and that was after many sessions in a two week period before he showed some awful true colours. Well I am having a meet with a 35 yr old single dad whom says he wants the middle ground as well. So lets hope I can find it.Tuscanred thanks for your wonderful words and u are my RHP fairy godmother as always.Shinasbabe27 and Meeka100 I would love to meet u both one day as u are awe inspirling woman and hard trucking I always enjoy reading your comments in the forum.Lindy xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I just want relationships with people who's views and values are similar to mine and hopefully once the sex is no longer there we will still remain friends. Okay, sometimes these things go horribly wrong and someone's feelings change and so do their expectations but to me it's worth that risk :)took the words right out of my keyboard :)and as single bloke i very much in enjoy the dinners and other social activities ,what better way to develop a mental connection?,......as much as i enjoy sex its pretty hard to learn on the job as such as i am not a great multi-tasker ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' I hear a lot of this NSA shit... That is a guy thing..... NON fckn COMMITMENT!!! Even the beautiful gorgeous sexually OOOOOOZING Meeks just wrote it in another forum post yesterday.. Sex is BORING if there is no mental connection... SO.. you girls want to be the Liberated women.. doing male stuff of bonking anyone they want and getting on with your life... THEN all of a sudden.. you realize it is NOT what you THOUGHT it would be.. and you want SOMETHING more.. THAT my dear OP.. is NOT NSA sex :) Look at it from the males perspective.. NSA is male domain.. and you girls.. for generations.. have HATED it, and scorned men for it. NOW you want it.. but.. with extras... NSA.. becomes ACOSWBOK (A Couple Of Strings Would Be OK) The next step after that then becomes a relationship... which will fck you around like your last one.. and you will return here next year and do the same cycle again! AND a FWB??? I am sure you would like that.. until you realise he is someone ELSEs FWB too... :) Honestly... shouldn't you be looking for a married men..and become his bit on the side?? OR stay in your original relationship.... and then get YOUR bit in the side... IN GENERAL.. single women DO NOT do NSA sex.. there is amost ALWAYS strings attached... But.. all power to those girls who do it successfullyMy bad...considering I have been doing just that male thang since the seventies and only just recently put up my condom box for the full commitment. Maybe things arent quite so liberated in your cave buddy!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'I disagree with the real guys make the effort. In my situation, as we saw just recently, I'd tee'd up accommodation for a meet and greet in Sydney. Organised my loads to have me in town, then.....the very load that was going to get me to Sydney was canned 2 hours prior to loading. Now I maybe nit picking on this one, but does circumstances beyond my control make me less genuine and real?? Honey I know you put in a big effort and your giving it your best shot on RHP yes some guys are looking for more than a bonk, I am just a cynic at times not all men are the same, not all women are the same depends on whats in my brain on the day , how I post now get your clothes of and drive to Perth, there are a couple of women in Rockingham just may take advantage of ya from the sounds of things. Ladies, go to the swinging pig, sit on a bar stool and bingo the fifo frollicks will be all over you like a cheap suit i feel for the guys as they have their relationships in tatters most of the time, they cant win either way 80 percent of fifo relationships break down the most sign ups for Centrlink at the moment are women who are out of a relationship with a fifo partner and find themselves on the welfare line or guys find themselves with nothing but a carboard box and no place to take the ute and the bike thats why a few of my friends are now opting to rent rooms to those lost fifo guys. one has even made up a room for the guys kids when they have their visit. those big mine giants have a lot to answer for.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I thought that's what you meant, as I too are guilty of generalising myself without intention.
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RHP User
12 years ago
A fuck-buddy... one who you fuck then disappears... hence - No strings attached. A Friend with benefits... you fuck each other and enjoy doing other stuff together, but it is not 24/7. A Committed relationship... one person you are with and only with, and this is 24/7 Whats in the middle ??
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'howaboutsayinghi' A fuck-buddy... one who you fuck then disappears... hence - No strings attached. A Friend with benefits... you fuck each other and enjoy doing other stuff together, but it is not 24/7. A Committed relationship... one person you are with and only with, and this is 24/7 Whats in the middle ?? I expect its Friends with Benefits then that I'm looking for.
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
Great topic! I believe that there would men out there looking for just what you are after, but how can either of you think that emotions would not get involved! Tough act at times
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your emotions do get involved and isn't it grand. :D I know ... Men find emotions scary. Oooh. Yet can I say... Alot of blokes don't like getting treated as a fuck buddy only. Well not on a regular basis. Men just can't make up their minds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hehe :p
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RHP User
12 years ago
... luv ya little figure; 'tis ever so cute xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I gotta say I think I agree mostly, but I don't know what's so scary about the emotional stuff. I think it's quite flattering when a woman discusses her feelings about things with me. It means she feels comfortable in my presence and there's a level of trust. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy....or is that the Prozac?? :)
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