Stupid, Lazy and Rude Opening Messages

May 10 2022

It would seem that a major grievance of many women on here is being sent rude or stupid one line opening messages with fuck all substance, with said messages being oft accompanied with a unsolicited dick pics. Hmmm... sound familiar? Well... what if someone invented an algorithm that counted the number of messages exchanged between the sender and the recipient, and until that number of messages reaches 2 mutual exchanges the algorithm automatically converts certain words/sentences and pics to a more interesting format. For example... “Hi, how are you?” would be atomically converted to “Hi, I’m a person with limited imagination and a lazy disposition, so you only need reply if you like being bored out of you mind” And opening sentences such as “Hey Babe, U R hot! Want to fuck?” are automatically converted to something like “Hi, I’m an egotistical and socially immature dickhead and probably have an STD, so please just ignore me!” Sexually explicit words such as fuck, cock, pussy, cum, tits and arse would be automatically replaced with the names of Walt Disney characters. And finally, unsolicited dick picks would be automatically substituted with pics of cute fluffy baby animals. It would not stop the guys from being fuckwits, but it would certainly make opening messages a lot more entertaining! Xx Obi1

Comments

  • Ex007

    Ex007

    3 years ago

    And unsolicited friend requests get returned with the sound of a fog horn draconian drawn out voice say “fuck off I’m not your friend”.

  • Cucknshells

    Cucknshells

    3 years ago

    Interesting. So I won’t be able to say I want to Mickey Mouse your hard Donald Duck as I rub my Pluto in your face. Shame that’s my go to message. Shells xx

  • Libertine001

    Libertine001

    3 years ago

    I think there us no easy answer for this post and kink temptations post. The issue here is not just isolated to RHP but online dating in general. If the men sending shit messages would use a little more imagination they would be far more successful but for some, the constant rejection they turn into incels and ruin it for everyone. At the end of the day Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and to find compatibility online is about a 5-10% chance of something evolving from the initial chat. I have been fortunate enough to have found it a few times and can be content with it. Just my 2 cents worth as I don't think it will ever change. Libertine

  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    So if I write my message in reverse does that beat the algorithm? “ hi I’m an egotistical socially immature dick head I would like to rub my Mickey Mouse all over your snow whites until I goofey all over your Jessica rabbit. please ignore me and this picture of my cute little hedgehog.”Call me To be fair it probably wouldn’t change my success rate 😄

  • AWomanWithNeeds

    AWomanWithNeeds

    3 years ago

    As a non drinker I find it hilarious when I get messages saying we should go for a drink, or they will wine and dine me. For me my grievance is they they don't fucking read the profile. We at least want to feel heard!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Its not just isolated to women as a bi guy i get the same stupid messages from guys does one or two words constitute a message "Hi" or "Hi there" as far as dic pics i know what they look like i've got one of them i want to see what its attached to.

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    3 years ago

    Obi Whilst l fully agree with the view that many male messages are basic, sometimes offensive, often uninspiring, perhaps you can come up with a similar conversion for female responses? From experience, the female messaging is engaging, pleasant and downright exciting. The verse "lm looking for a something casual and mutually satisfying" can be converted to "lm looking for a new husband and if you fuck up, l will hunt you down and screw your life over" It's a 2way street o here....

  • Player_J

    Player_J

    2 years ago

    "Wanna get dicked or what?" 😂😂😂 Have been on the site a while so have seen many an opening message like most, but this one gave me the giggles 🤣