F35
Surprise?
October 23 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's quite a reaction... either he just has a massive case of the grumps or I smell a rat, a rat in the shape of another woman. I don't know of any men who woud turn that down. Your friend must be feeling very hurt, men can be so insensitive sometimes.
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RHP User
12 years ago
that it is men,I think it was just that man.It seems to me that she could have done naked handstands and got the same response...but then again, some people are grumpy pants early in the morning....I hope she made him eat the jumper if he wasn't gonna eat her for breakfastx R
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RHP User
12 years ago
I cant see a problem with what your friend did at all unless it was the wrong team..either way..he should have played !!
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RHP User
12 years ago
The guy is a tosser. Personally, that sounds like pretty awesome way to wake up. Tell her it's time to find someone new.
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playful4u
12 years ago
if she wore the jersey and he had not seen it before, why was he not surprised? He sounds like a Grump. People who wake up grumpy on their birthday will never be pleased with the effort. Mrs P bought me a Mark Webber F1 team cap which I was very excited to get, had she walked in just wearing the cap...wow, what a presentation.
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RHP User
12 years ago
starts with an 'a' ends with an 'e' with a hole in the middle
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for reassuring me that we weren't completely off the bat, guys! She has no plans to ditch him - he's the only guy willing to put up with her mood swings and dramatics, even if isn't the type to express himself in hearts and flowers (for the record, he did buy her some antique earrings which she had been eyeing up).Spent the morning reassuring her that if she was my girlfriend and she woke me up like that, I would have gobbled her up whole. Told her to try the lingerie I went shopping with her for last week at Honey Birdette - if that doesn't trigger some sort of positive response, I am convinced the boy is a eunuch!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Are you kidding... There are guys like me trying to find a woman to love and then there are guys like the one you mentioned who have someone (you would think they love) and they do something like that lol. Farout
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RHP User
12 years ago
TOTALLY something my ex would do. I put up with 8 years of that kind of rejection and it broke me down into a shadow of myself. I suggest she think LONG and hard about staying with someone who cant/wont appreciate that kind of effort. Sorry, but it will NOT get any better. What an unappreciative moron!
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uneventful
12 years ago
A lepard never changes its spots
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RHP User
12 years ago
Even if I'd just got to sleep after a double shift at work and my partner woke me up with a surprise like that, I'd at least make an effort to show that I appreciated her efforts. The minute he threw it on the floor she should have picked it up and threw it in the bin. That's plain rude.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Pretty strange indeed..and a real pity after all of the effort your girlfriend and yourself put into the surprise...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mmmmmmm sounds just like my ex but that's one of many reasons why he's an ex ditch him there's plenty of more fish
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RHP User
12 years ago
Lets see, speaking from experience I can state the following. 1) I hate sports, particularly football. If were any other joe meathead, a reaction should be warranted and particularly a positive one. 2) I can't picture anyone getting married before the age of 21 because it has disaster written all over it, maternal nesting instincts be damned. 3) women are security oriented, and as quoted, she's only staying with him because he's the only one who puts up with her mood swings. Apparently they've rubbed off on him too. I'll take passive grumpiness over hostile bitchiness any day. 4) she made her own bed and deserves to lie in it. 5) last christmas before my life's work was destroyed, I took out a female friend on christmas eve, who had been married to another friend of mine for seven months, and I'm sure I was invited to the wedding though the ever sensitive groom sent the invitations two weeks before hand, which is typical of him, instead of the traditional six. Long story short, she's put up with him for approximately seven years, nine months, two weeks and three days now. He hasn't changed. In fact, he's now the lower-income earner who can't even take the cats to the vet on bloody time. Needless to say, I pointed out to her what a piece of shit the husband was. She confided in me that she "married the wrong guy", but then backtracked because she was under the impression I charm women for a living. Needless to say, I held a torch for my childhood friend, told her I loved her, and she didn't believe it. So judging by empirical evidence, dumb girls like grumpy jerks - and quite frankly, they deserve it. Now I don't speak to either of them. I'd sooner tie a rock to my feet and take a dive in the sydney harbour. That would be less painful. She made every concession for this jerk, she fundamentally sacrificed her independence, and he's not even worth it. Sadly this is not a new theme. Sure he's a 6'2, 120kg neo nazi skinhead who's lost more jobs than she's ever had, sure he's dumb as dog shit... but he puts up with her. In comparison, the woman you describe, and the woman I describe are beyond help, the best you can hope for is to dump her in the hole because thats as good as its goint to get I'm afraid. I mean I know its really unfortunate that pretty girls with low self esteem go for narcissistic, grumpy assholes.... but hey, its genetic imperative so I guess what I'm trying to say is, suck it up or marry down... take your pick!
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RHP User
12 years ago
This guy doesn't value or appreciate this woman. If she stays with him she will only be disappointed time and time again and not able to please him, but if she wants to be a sucker for punishment then continue her merry way. Not even a thank your or show of appreciation indicates what sort of man he is, there is no excuses for a jerk like that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My FWB bought me a pair of jocks, and gave me sex.... Both were too large for me :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was complainng about HER.... not the case... Listen to what I am saying here... I can shoot pool AND throw darts equally with left and right hands... I tell everyone I can shoot as well with with my left as well as I can with my right.. REALITY is.. I shoot as as POORLY with my right, as I do with my left.. SO.. when I said.. the sex was too large for me.. I was REALLY saying.....Well.. you get it eh :)
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' This is likely to get me into some trouble, but....How much of a disappointment must he be in all other elements of that relationship?!! DG, agree with you 100% that if your not receptive when someone goes out of their way to do something nice and get naked at the same time whats it like when she does something he doesn't agree with. Without knowing the specifics but why would you stay?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I went through a similar thing with my ex fiancé. It was a series of incidents like the one you mentioned over a two year period that had me hating myself and blaming the way I loomed on our lack of sex life. I eventually left and we can both look back now and realise his deep rut of depression is what cause it. Is your friend's husband going through a hard time at work it other areas of his life? If so perhaps he should go and see a counsellor. Remind her that no matter what she has to put herself first. Best of luck to her.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I took the ex for a weekend away in Margaret River, spa, chauffered wine tour, dinner at Winos etc, she had a wonderful time (according to her) but then in the evening showed me her back, ( "no way, I don't feel like it")As mentioned by honeybee that kind of rejection is just soul destroying and yes broke me down to a shadow of my former self.And no it did not get any better, that drought lasted 6 years, NEVER again !So OP to your question, not a footy guy but I would certainly respond to the effort and the motive !I just love it when the girl comes on all hot and sexy I mean how much better can it be to be openly and wantonly lusted after "Sheesh" !
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thats a hard reaction to bare. From a man's perspective I guess as others have suggested, I"d ask is anything going on his life that would cause stress? Many men don't know how to communicate how they feel or what's bothering them, and it often has to be drawn out of them by someone they trust. IF there are job stresses or something else, maybe a quiet discussion or question would help. Unfortunately people do take these reactions personally as though its their fault somehow. Its important that your friend not take this on as anything to do with her. These are his reactions and his feelings, and his responsibility. If he's going to 'relate' to his partner and be in a 'relationship' then he has to at least try to consider her as well. Easy said, often hard done, but that's what commitment is, doing your best. If its worth fighting for then as BBB has said, counselling may be appropriate if he's willing and open to it. If he's simply lost interest or passive aggressively displaying his feelings of not wanting to be there any more, then I guess she has to make the best decision for herself. Good luck to her.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My ex was the same just soul destroying and unfortunatley when you hear stories llike 50ozcool we become the damaged ones who fear giving again. I was so generous and giving but you then feel sucked dry how can you possibley think you will even give again.Well I hope to one day I hope you do too 50ozcool, it will take time and the right person and then they can know have love and enjoy.My ex is still a miserable person and will remain that way till he dies. In that I realise I am not.
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' I took the ex for a weekend away in Margaret River, spa, chauffered wine tour, dinner at Winos etc, she had a wonderful time (according to her) but then in the evening showed me her back, ( "no way, I don't feel like it")As mentioned by honeybee that kind of rejection is just soul destroying and yes broke me down to a shadow of my former self.And no it did not get any better, that drought lasted 6 years, NEVER again ! Know exactly where you are coming from 50zcool on the drought and rejection. Total surprise trip to Thailand for a week and pack the kids off to the grand parents and not long after pretty much the same result of by the way see you later.With you B_blue eyes in that no matter what happens I am not going to be that bitter person because of it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'd be advising her to weigh up her options.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Chill Nick_Wilde, they're not married. Specifics, Araps & DG? Been in a relationship for three years, that's all. She's been through a lot in the last few years regarding her family life, as well as her mental and physical health, and because of that she's the type of girl who can't survive without having a guy in her life - there has literally been one week in between all of her boyfriends, most of whom have fled after witnessing her problems, but this current guy is the only one to stay put as long as he has and supports her financially when she needs it.Not only do they have a lot of interests in common, but their personalities are fairly similar as well (in terms of immaturity at times). The guy loves his sport - can't go a night without watching a footy game. He had actually asked for a jersey, but for a ready-made one, rather than a custom-made one.Their issue is their lack of sex life. For the record, the last time they had sex was five months ago, and that was because in the car on the way home she said 'sooo..I reckon we should have sex tonight'. BiBrissieBabe - they are in fact both going through their final exams at the moment, but I don't think that's a valid excuse - I go around the bend when I'm stressed out..!At the very beginning when they started dating she was moaning to me about how infrequently they did have sex, but I've always known her to have a raging libido all through her high school years, when all the boys lusted after her (and she certainly knew how to flaunt it!). Its been a little sad to see her kind of 'give up', saying that she doesn't want to 'push him' or 'pressure him', and to see that self-confidence in her sexiness evaporate. The guy even made her throw out her vibrators when they started dating..I've had a phone call from her every Valentine's Day for the last three years, her joking that she's giving me a call because she's afraid I'm lonely, when it's actually because they're doing nothing but stay at home and she's cooking dinner like she does every other night. She says to me that she 'feels like such a bitch for being so selfish and wanting more material things', but I, like everyone else here, thinks sincere effort needs to be returned with like effort and appreciation.
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goldcoastcple69
12 years ago
wow , im trying to think of reason why i would react like that if my wife suprised me like .. cant really think of many.. he must of being either really angry with her for some reason or his just an asshole.. if i did that to my wife , id be in a hell of alot of trouble lol . from your last post there, its really evident theres something else going on .. this is all second hand so its hard to know really , but from what your saying its not a healthy relationship and probably wont last..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Shes highly sexual and they did have an awsome sexual relationship when they first met. Now after two years it seems as tho nothing she can do to initiate sex with him will work. He only wants to do it when he wants to and gets highly pissed off when she uses her toys when hes not in the mood. This is a complicated relationship. Altho they are young and have no children breaking up holds some serious dilemas. Its just so heart wrenching to watch her struggle with the decision she has to make.
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RHP User
12 years ago
inside a relationship are not always obvious to someone outside looking in.Perhaps these two people stay together because they actually suit.While they obviously have intimacy issues perhaps the fact that he is there suppoting her financially and has actually stayed when others have run,is more important to her than sex.Some people are also addicted to drama,they love the rush of having ''problems'' I wonder A_B how much time you and others spend talking to her about her problems compared with other topics of conversation. A few years ago I had a friend who was involved in a very problematic relationship,but then all of her relationships had been problematic in one way or another.I quickly realized that most of what we talked about was the shifting dramas in her life...she just didn't do so-called normal it seemed.I suppose my point is ,while it's important to support our friends it's also important to make sure that we don't fall down their rabbit hole in the process.x R
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RHP User
12 years ago
He would only have sex with her on his terms, and it was usually the very hardcore kind of sex he enjoys. She has a history of mental illness (breakdowns) and so was doing everything to please him to the detriment of herself. We were able to contact his ex partner last week (who it seeems he was still infatuated with) anyway turns out he had been stalking her in her hometown (supposedly a planned trip to see their children, as far as my gf knew)anyway cut a long story short, he has spent all her money, broken alot of her belongings, left her with a shitload of bills and a drug habit. She came here last week, stayed a few days, got the police to boot him out as he wouldn't go on her asking, and hopefully that is the last she will see of him. He thought that because of her history she was an easy target and would continue letting him take advantage... Some people are just assholes. I hope your friend can sort this out, unfortunately some peoples self esteem gets so low they don't think anyone else will have them. If she 's not seeing one already, perhaps you could talk her into seeing a good counsellor just to get her mindset right again so she feels more confident and worthy of a true mans affections.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi miss Amuse, I'm looking at your comment that " he's the only one who will put up with her mood swings and dramatics". I'm wondering if her dramatics have maybe taken the shine off his libido? It does take two and we only have part of the story here. Your friend may need to do more than just " dress" the part? Just sayin... Minxy x
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RHP User
12 years ago
And his mood.Not a reflection on the gift. I’d have thought that was a totally awesome gift. This post has some traction as another Baker rang me last night to talk and get my thoughts on it.If you are in the wrong place or mood, no amount of anything will make you smile (except maybe a hug). I've had a few ladies surprise me with wonderful stuff. Usually the response was me glowing. But on a number of occasions my response has embarrassed me when I think back. Always because I was in a shitty head space. Either work stress or just not really into the woman.I don't think surprises and shocks to the system are a good way to spice up a sagging relationship. The way to deal with that is some hard talking. Fun surprises are the domain of those already having a blast. ~grins~
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Splicey
12 years ago
I'll never understand people who stay in relationships because of convenience. My problem? I have no many outfits and lingerie sets and they never get worn because my husband prefers me butt naked MrsSplicey
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RHP User
12 years ago
Classic, NO communication! Clearly lost, feelings hurt & needs/wants not being satisfied.. Every relationship needs work but when there dead, there over. Recently, left a short of mine in a bathroom to which the owner of the bathroom trys my short on, takes a photo & posts it on facebook.. wearing nothing but my short.. Her birthday approaches, nothing sorted for her birthday she says 'I'd wear your shirt all day, every day' problem solved :) hope she washes it lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
seriously, i dont think this has something to do with the personality, either he suffer from depression or even worse , get him some help
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