Swinging Cheating and Respect for your partner.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Yes I have seen it a few times at swingers clubs where the bloke forgets that he came with him a partner and is running off with all the women and pays no attention to his partner. It can cause lots of jealousy in a couple that are not 100% sure of each other. I have seem some ugly scenes.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Our very first experience was something similar, in the lead up the husband was all gung-ho and flirting back and forth with Mrs HnH while the wife was very quiet which made it hard for me to get excited about it. When we met them it was a similar vibe and I couldn't get into it when playtime came, something just didn't feel right. They ended up having a domestic about the lopsided play and she stormed off into the night, we went and found her and settled things down over a few drinks but he kept pushing for more play so I just had to tell him it wasn't going to happen. The wife told me later on that he had found out that she had kissed another man (just kissed) and that is why they were swinging, blackmail/revenge of sorts. Always trust your gut instinct, or in this case "cock instinct", there have only been a couple of women I've met that he wouldn't get up for and he knew to steer clear well before me up here realised it! This almost put us off swinging completely being our first (and only) couples experience but we are still here being cautious and waiting for the right couple to come along. There is no hurry as we have awesome sex at least once a day anyway, sharing it around would be a bonus ;) Mr HnH

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  Hottie1

  10 years ago

  We have recently met some awesome couples, thank Christ they're normal people who can laugh at each other, they're fun to be with and they bring a whole heap of sexiness to play. We have met them at swingers parties and are enjoying the developing friendship. Luckily these people have restored my faith because I am quite sick of the tanties I have seen throw when things don't go their way. Act in the swinging world as you would anywhere else and keep your baggage securely to yourself. Mary xx

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Some people are not meant for the game. Swinging requires maturity, confidence, and the ability to drop insecurity at the door. If people can not do that they should avoid the scene as all they do is spoil it for the rest. Unfortunately those very trait that makes one unsuitable for the scene also has the side effect of not being able to self assess your suitability. Immaturity seldom realizes they are immature, they have deluded confidence and no ability to control their insecurities. The only solution is the vetting process, something that is difficult at first but with practice the personality types become easily recognizable and thus avoidable. It will never be 100% and circumstances can trip anyone up but at least we can try. There should be some sort of swingers boot camp. Couples and singles should be taught what is and is not acceptable and then assessed. We could then have a reasonably reliable independent assessment of people ability to handle the variety of issues and got ya's that the scene can present, and save us all from the way to repetitive spoilers that ruin what could have been a great night. Just a dream i know, who's going to set that up, and then people will whinge and make accusations of exclusivity, and nepotism (sorry not in the family way).

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Quoting 'Blindman67' Some people are not meant for the game. Swinging requires maturity, confidence, and the ability to drop insecurity at the door. If people can not do that they should avoid the scene as all they do is spoil it for the rest. Unfortunately those very trait that makes one unsuitable for the scene also has the side effect of not being able to self assess your suitability. Immaturity seldom realizes they are immature, they have deluded confidence and no ability to control their insecurities. The only solution is the vetting process, something that is difficult at first but with practice the personality types become easily recognizable and thus avoidable. It will never be 100% and circumstances can trip anyone up but at least we can try. There should be some sort of swingers boot camp. Couples and singles should be taught what is and is not acceptable and then assessed. We could then have a reasonably reliable independent assessment of people ability to handle the variety of issues and got ya's that the scene can present, and save us all from the way to repetitive spoilers that ruin what could have been a great night. Just a dream i know, who's going to set that up, and then people will whinge and make accusations of exclusivity, and nepotism (sorry not in the family way). Agreed..but then sometimes, even the best vetting doesn't prepare you for developing jealousy or people who attempt to hide their problems, as we have learned.

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  Hottie1

  10 years ago

  Sometimes a 'game face' is employed and it isn't till some time later that people's true colors show through. People think that because they can fuck, they are ready for the swinging scene - NO WAY. I think we need a Big Brother swinging house, vote off the fuckers who don't play well :) Not a good idea to go from the venting forum to here;) Mary xx

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Men have to realise women have all the power when swinging and if you don't really know all your partners insecurities and concerns as well as what the want out of the night you're doomed - Posted from rhpmobile

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  JohnAnn2227

  10 years ago

  We met with a couple and everything was fine over dinner and drinks and then the night died back in our hotel room. It became obvious quickly that the wife was not into swinging and was not bi as she went like a cold fish when either of us touched her and eventually began crying when her husband entered me. She was only trying to placate her husband. He actually abused her about being selfish and ruining his night. John kicked him out of our room when he became aggressive and she stayed with us crying for the next hour! When he calmed down and realised what a prick he had been he rang our room and John met him back in the hotel foyer and brought him back up to our room. His wife and him then spent the next hour talking through their issues. What a night! Glad we spent $350 on a harbour view room at the Four Points for a memorable night!

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  LifeUnscripted

  10 years ago

  I feel so horrible about it, but this is why we are so nervous with newbies. All of our bad experiences have been with very new couples, some their first time. I don't rule out newbies, because honestly everyone started there, and if we can help them through that, then that is a bit of pay it forward for us. BUT....it is so much easier on everyone when both couples are experienced and have worked through all their earlier issues. I don't know why guys push their wives into things.....that is a complete recipe for disaster, on so many levels. And honestly have no desire to be the other couple having to deal with that.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Thank god my husband and I can tlk about anything - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  How sad it is that some people let themselves be coerced into a situation "of taking one for the team"

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Swinging needs maturity and trust. I'm talking as an observer - have only spoken (not played) with a handful of swinging couples and it was obvious that those with maturity and trust are the experienced ones... It is not for everyone - my wife and I have not done it, as we realised it was not for us, and only played separately. I'm eventually going to try a couple, but it needs to be with the right people and in the right environment - as it was mentioned before, these are meant to be memorable experiences..! Cheating and jealousy could ruin the whole day in a flash!

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  oh ugh... great experiences...to share. so ppl know of the realities. I get turned on only if people are mature enough to explore ...all that other stuff - should be left at the door

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  if you want to play and explore this lifestyle with your partner...your house must be in order...and your lives must be transparent. no secrets,no lies. the whole thing...from beginning to end, has to be built on a base of trust, or you are destined for disaster

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