M44 F45
Swinging concerns; advice please
January 29 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Go with your gut feeling, we've seen too many that are in your situation and it usually doesn't work well. Also look at the tatts on his back, that may give you some thoughts.
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RHP User
11 years ago
would say no, you are not ready to try swinging. I think some couples try to use swinging the way some others will try having a baby...in an attempt to 'fix' problems in the relationship. But, all it will end up doing is emphasising the problems and making them worse. If you are already feeling insecure - about your husband and yourself - then watching him have sex with another woman is only going to intensify that insecurity. Whose idea was it to try swinging? Have you talked to him about your doubts? Both you and your relationship need to be in a strong place to swing successfully, so I would advise doing some work on both before you dip your toes in the scene.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I totally agree with everything Luckdragon has said. If you have the feel that you only got into the idea of swinging to keep him satisfied then you are definately not ready. Communication is the key. Pusscat xxx
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gazpacho
11 years ago
I agree with the Dragon. Swinging couples usually have a very strong relationship, first. I think you need to be confident that you are not losing anything by swinging. Swinging won't save a failing marriage. Maybe its the way I read your post but you seem to be thinking that he will be heading off to screw all manner of nymphs so he can be "satisfied"... Fact is though that your old man is likely to find that you get all the attention, in preference to him. That's a typical situation anyways. It pleases swinging guys to see that their lovers are being well and truly sorted. lol. In heterosexual situations, I think women are the centre of attention. I think you can handle that. yeah? It won't save a rocky relationship, though. I suggest you seek marriage counselling. HugsGazpacho
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RHP User
11 years ago
Talk, talk and talk honestly with each other... Then talk some more. You both need to be on the same page... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Work on YOUR. Relationship, not new ones with strangers. Full stop - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
If you are not getting a rise, your hubby is, then you are not the ones for us, no offence bad karma. Reality is, you probably won't find many if any opportunities any way. The men don't rule the roost to this lifestyle, the ladies do, so hubby can fantasise all he likes, without it being yours that's about all things will come to. Another reality is that if there is interests, you may well be the one bathing in attentions, hubby may discover just how meaningful you are, may ruffle the feathers. Your body and soul, let your spirit guide you if it is alone. Respectfully (You are no less than any other) Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
BBW sites (big beautiful women) we are lusted after, some think we are the epitome of womanhood, motherhood, lovers and carers...... Where we see floppy tummies, they see the miracle of birth, the secret of life..... Where we see love handles, well, they see handles lol..... The buxom woman is a place to snuggle and suckle........... Try hard NOT to be self conscious, but see hard work, love and attention to others before your own!!!!
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Also, the fact you are a sweet, juicy, curvy girl has nothing to do with it, full bodied women ROCK. Your Mr is a bit on the heavy side......maybe it's his ego moreso than your own that'll take a hit swinging. I agree with all the above. I asked my husband to try an open swingers relationship as a last effort to save out marriage. He wasn't into it God Belss him but it didn't save our marriage either. Your Mr is in for a rude shock unless you choose to swing with people who aren't overly picky about who they play with, my opening line case in point. Just sayin'.
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Work on YOUR. Relationship, not new ones with strangers. Full stop - Posted from rhpmobile Two things before they can mean one thing. (maybe, but I try)
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OPNmarriagecpl
11 years ago
We have both read all of your feedback and advice and I really appreciate the insight. This is just such a taboo area and we certainly don't have like minded friends or family to bounce ideas off of. I think it's also in part a big mindset thing....... If I work on my insecurities more, maybe in time I will be ready to take that leap..... Or not too. I have always been a very analytical person and tend to overthink things. I know I will feel less insecure if I lost the weight. That's probably a good place for me to start. I don't want to totally discount the swinging idea (even if it's just once), as certain elements of it do excite me very much. Thank you all again for your advice and insights to a lifestyle that I am very naive about. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
The posters above have shown a lot of empathy and respect for your situation and your concerns and they all offer up some pretty important points. However having been in a situation in the past that bore some similarity to yours, I'd actually go a step further and SCREAM: "DO NOT DO IT!" . I could add a list of really valid reasons to those good ones already mentioned above, but you really just need to listen to yourself here. If you do want to dip your toes in the water, why not visit a club together one night and just go along to watch? Get a feel for the scene and read up on the philosophy and practice. . Non monogamy and/or swinging can be a whole lot of fun, especially at the point you sound like you are at in your own life, but not if you're both not on the exact same page and motivated by the same things. And not at any cost. The price to pay if the timing and motivation isn't right is just too high. . Flirty x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Let me just say Kudos for posting this! . Oh, and losing weight is not a good place to start, it sounds like your relationship is the thing in need of change rather than your body. Good luck!
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I'm no lightweight OP clothing sizes like my weight, age and shoe size are just numbers. IF you're man makes you feel desirable and beautiful above all others then you've already won half the battle.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You could always try a club and just have a look. You don't have to do anything. Pusscat xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do not do it. Never let another person blackmail you into doing something that you don't want to do. If you do this, what next for it will not stop here. Sorry i feel for your plight but you are in horrible situation and it should be you first, you are not his puppet.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey Lady! You sound confused. As others have mentioned, swingers tend to have very solid and trusting relationships and thats what allows them to swing. My experience is only as a third (and not as part of a couple) but one thing I look out for is couples with jealousy, insecurity or unhappiness (with each other) vibes as there has to be open communication. Some have suggested you visit a club and thats a good idea because you can see what its about. I went for the first time on the weekend and enjoyed meeting people but didn't do anything (much). Another suggestion would be to use your kid-free time to re-connect with each other! Like going out on the town, being irresponsible (like getting drunk), staying at a hotel, visiting strippers etc and pay attention to each other. A relationship is like a plant that needs nourishment, and in the right conditions it will grow strong. Hope this helps, Jay
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RHP User
11 years ago
If u want to swing but u think hubby will judge u don't do it but if he is like me and love to c my girl getting screwed by multiple guys with big cocks then girl go 4 it the relationship may get stronger - Posted from rhpmobile
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