M53 F52
Teenage girls - help!!!
April 09 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Welcome to my club LOL.....In the same boat....my daughter is 17, love her to bits but drives me insane at the same time...Its the age- girls or young ladies brains are developing and their brains are growing at a faster rate than boys.... By their early 20's they reckon it gets better??? yet to find that out... LOL I gave my daughter a hug this morning and she asked me What's wrong with me?? They want to be loved but not by their parents-go figure ... Some days my daughter is Fantastic and other days just plain feral, that I can't be around her.....oh one more thing... her and Boys/young men.....oh god are the death of me!!! FOXY xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
YOUR Mothers said the same things There is a saying.. "A husbands revenge.... Give his wife a daughter" But.. in all seriousness...they turn back into humans again about 19..
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1playfulcpl
12 years ago
must say my 2 older daughters 25 an 14 have been so good thank goodness but 2older boys gee wizz makes me wish i had 4 girls lol it a matter of patience an love an sometimes the hard law of mum an dad
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Dont feed it.lolDG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Teenage boys aren't like that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Good times (though not for my folks, bless!) Glad I have boys ;-) IAT - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' YOUR Mothers said the same things There is a saying.. "A husbands revenge.... Give his wife a daughter" But.. in all seriousness...they turn back into humans again about 19.. I have two girls one is 25 the other is 27 the younger was an angel the other the devil Just Breath............. keep them as safe as you can teach them about relationships and sex keep listening yes they are messy and full of lip and you could smother them with a pillow at times but I have the empty nest now and would love to go around picking up wet towels all over the house again, just to have them near. They both moved to Melbourne Its a bumpy ride , thats just the way it is with girls good luck
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RHP User
12 years ago
I know you miss them and the house is quiet but just remember what that older devil child put you thru last year. !!!! .:)... You wil be together soon and they are both beautiful and successful young ladies thanks to your persistence and endeavours :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Different issues, just as exhausting....:)
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RHP User
12 years ago
just breathe....my step daughter is now 22 , but i went through hell with the attitudes...... behaviour and in all honesty i could have killed her from the time she was 14 lol. i did learn that the best thing was not to respond to anything she said straight away but to just stop breathe and think before i said anything. i would just remain calm and in the end it was much better for me and we got through it. you have to trust that they have learned good things from you and always be there to talk to about anything no matter how shocking.......... you mothers will always be your daughters best friends if you can just take a step back and breathe.... ;-) wishing you all luck with your teenage beauties xoxo
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uneventful
12 years ago
Three boys 27,25,20 And two girls 22,19 and they were all a terror in that age range ... but the good thing is .. they grow out of it ... My last was the worst .. run away from home at 14, taking a bottle of vodka with her ... to spend the night with friends (18yo) a stern but understanding police sargent ... a visual display of the drugies at the Cross. And her brother getting into a spot of trouble ... soon bought her to her sences.. couldnt want for a nicer kid now .... just love them ... and stand by them ... and tune out to their abuse ... and demands ... they soon get over it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
The only way to get through to my 15 year old Son sometimes , is to remove his Digital Privileges . I've even taken the Modem to work with me ;) When he did something particularly bad , I took his iPhone away for 3 months . GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
same here....remarried and got 2 stepdaughters as part of the deal :) They are chalk & cheese although even the "angelic" one went through a phase at around 16/17 where she was a royal pain in the ass. The younger one has now just turned 17 and is truly obnoxious most of the time - but she's not really a bad kid. We just want to ease her through school for the last 6 months but she is far too interested in boys and material things and expects everything to be done for her, so of course we are the worst parents ever and ALL her friends get everything they ask for so why can't she? It doesn't help that her father is a bitter man and still feeding her nonsense even after 7 years. I feel really sorry for Mrs SinS at times as you can see how much she loves both her girls.....but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and "tough love" has to be inflicted. I would much rather the younger one hated us now (or me at least) than to find out that you can't get your own way all the time in the real world and that if you really want something you have to work for it, and sometimes you have to follow instruction! Some may feel I'm too harsh, but when she gets to 18 she will be out on her ear unless she learns respect for others (and she knows it - although I don't think she believes me, which is just a continuation of her arrogance as I ALWAYS follow through with my promises!). A spell on her own, cleaning up her own mess and paying her own bills might make her more appreciative, and if she is then she can come back....all we have to do is survive for another 8 months...I keep telling myself most of us were young and foolish once...lol I've no idea if this approach is the right or the wrong way to deal with it, but unfortunately you have to make a choice and live by its consequences, and if you make the wrong choice it's not something easily undone #sigh#
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
Thankyou everyone... I call my daughter 'Google' because she knows everything - well at least she thinks she does! She is a good kid - but lazy lazy lazy! Back chats, swears at her father, who I must say doesn't let her get away with any of it!!! Just wish she could see what we do for her n the priveledges she has!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Teenage girls don't develop faster than boys I would say... at least that was what it was like when I was growing up, and now it seems thats not the only problem.... not only do they not grow up, they also become entitled, stubborn, and some even self absorbed bitches who believes the world shines out out of their crack. Entitlement is not growth. In fact I would say that women especially, particularly of this current generation circa 2000+, are emotionally stunted due to the influx of our dependence on technology - the post emotional generation. Oh sure, evolution may make them smarter, then our government comes along and says here's six grand, all you have to do is forgo a good education and get pregnant. My best advice, aside the starvation tactic, which works well, is to disallow any and all access to social media, knowing how much girls say 14-25 love their "facie", delete all the contacts from their phone or cut off their internet access. I don't buy the faster development argument in the least. If anything Gen-Z are the beginning of the end in terms of intelligence... judging by your example the youth of today, aged say 13-24, assuming childhood isn''t over by 13, are really quite thick, stupid, lacking in common sense, emotional depth and real world experience... and I suppose you have only the parents to blame for encouraging these fucked up little monsters and their entitlement mentality. Not speaking of you generally of course, I'm sure your girls are perfectly lovely little angels. Last piece of advice, if all else fails, ride it out and pray that your children have some concept of better judgement or common sense because sometimes you have to trust them to do the right thing. Which is laughable I know, though I doubt very highly that you are as cynical or dispassionate as I am about any sort of "future" worth having. Let's just hope they make it out in one piece, before the generation gap gets too wide eh?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I had 2 she-devils.... In their teens I was on the receiving end of hate mail and all sorts of horrendous abuse and behaviour. Now a few years later I get hugs and kisses and "I love you mum". Endure the growing pains with them and you will reap the rewards It's character building for both you and them. SFxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Had 3 and thought Id finally got rid of one when she found a partner and had her own little teenage girl to be.....Ha Ha Kama I thought....But now she comes to stay with the little tornado every time they return form OS.....Gotta love em....lol But it really must be a Fem Dom thing.....they are fighting for control with all other females in their lives.... Mine were taught from a young age that I wouldnt put up with any shit they had to be civil or to go sit on a rock somewhere in our bushland acerage contemplating the world till they had vented their spleens......Worked for me but not for my Ex.....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Take away privileges. (Not everything. Just the most important one thing to them.) Then if she doesn't toe the line follow through with any threats you have made. But don't reneg on it or she has got you. I think it's the only thing that really works.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have raised mine, step daughter and several foster daughters. The department sends me those that no one else can handle. It seems I have a knack with them. The best thing you can do is realise that teenage hood is an actual mental condition. The cure for 15 is 16. The cure for 16 is 17. Go and source a book called "Politically Incorrect Parenting of Teenagers" Packed full of humour and common sense advice. All you can to is stand firm, love them but set your boundaries. Don't be too hard but know that they will eventually grow up. If she won't clean her room. Simple. Warn her then you do it. Take every single thing out except her bed. You chose her clothes for the week and give them to her on a daily basis. She will hate it but make sure all her stuff is locked away or she WILL take it back Tell her what I recently told my son. If you want to leave my life then you do it the same way you entered it. Naked and crying! Gotta love a teenager. They are so very funny and so so dramatic! If you really don't like the state of her room..... shut the door. Advise her that she is now responsible for her own laundry. Look the other way. She will run out of clothes eventually. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
You must be prepared to compromise. Start by offering her choices in the situations you are having problems with and let her choose the actions you have provided. Our daughter was very good at this as she would start badgering us about something she knew she would not get and would settle for a lesser offer which is what she wanted in the first place. Happy parenting and good luck.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry buddy but girls and boys do mature at different rates. Mentally, physically and emotionally. It is a fact and this is generalities not individual cases. . The world health authorities have now recognised that puberty is a state of mind. Girls are starting to enter this as young as nine and boys as young as twelve now. Much younger than when my children were young or when I was young. They are not mentally equipped to deal with these changes. The cause is not known, environment and in particular the difference in food is considered to be a major contributing factor.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
The best advice I was ever given was "support daughter no matter what choices she chooses"....be good or bad choices and let her feel the pain of those choices...best thing I have ever done...we are now closer than ever before...I actually love our relationship now than when she was a baby toddler/tween....To be honest I'd rather now even tho she's given me grief........She's actually said to me last week "Mum, I am glad you're my mum" LOL no emotional blackmail used... OH yeah I removed her bedroom door once as got tired of it being slammed and replaced with an invisible door...worked a treat..... She hated the no privacy factor..LOL;-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
To be honest, I started typing out a long reply, but then thought it might be boring. All kids are different so my pearls of wisdom with coping mechanisms may not work for you, but inbox me if you're still up for a few tips on how we manage that devil horned species called the "teenager".
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Funlover71' Teenage boys aren't like that. I hope that is tongue in cheek!!!! I have a 16 year old, rude, lazy smart arse boy!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have twin 16yo daughters, and being a single parent, life sure is trying at times. So repeat after me, "I shall not throw her best shoes in the mud, I shall not throw her best shoes in the mud, I shall not......." Reasoning does not seem to work well with teenage girls, nor does punishment either I think. I explain my situation as I see it, point out her two possible choices, outline each outcome and...........RUN LIKE HELL!!! LMAOLook, you are going to have bad days and you are going to have good ones too, why the other day I was lying in bed reading a story to them, when they both put their arms around me and said, "we love you dad. We are going to live with you for ever and ever" (I don't know whether I should cheer or cry). Relax, take a deep breath, and stay reasonable but firm. Good luck!
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lovman8
12 years ago
I had a teenage daughter once, I have no words of wisdom or magic answers. I think handmaiden is on the money when she says 17 cures 16 etc. They do grow through it and I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter now.....full of respect and love (she's in her thirties now) A turning point in our relationship happen when she came back from 12 months in Europe during a gap year when she was 19. She said I had changed???? Good luck cheekyarses.....persistance is all I can offer
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
Handmaiden I would agree with you on that! Kids today are developing at a different rate then when I was a teenager! It's scary in alot of ways....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Not that I have much teenager experience (but I did train as a high school teacher and was a girl guide leader for ages 11-15). We are about to go through that phase with Mr Otori's kids in the next few years. I was sitting here thinking...Adolescence is about learning how to be independent from one's parents. So, how do you deal with a kid who doesn't yet reason as an adult, but help them gain an independent sense of self? In my line of work in disabilities, I work with people who never achieved that level of reasoning and we work around choice and natural consequences. Make the right choice to behave appropriately and you can go do xyz or get that thing you want. Don't behave appropriately and you don't get the reward, but it's your choice how you act. So they have to make an independent choice or decision to act appropriately. Of course being that she's 15 now, you could suggest she go get a part-time job so she can afford things like mobile phones/ internet access etc. That keeps them grounded.
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RHP User
12 years ago
move out, come back in 5 years. lol.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Our daughter was 4-5 when she decided that as parents we were to be contolled by her.She knew that she was more intelligent and mature than us. This attitude has continued through to today. She is in her 30's. Yes we had troubles with her. She tried us out continually testing the boundaries of life and our reactions to her way of going about things. We are lucky, the result of our years of trial and tribulation is a very positive, strong, capable, self assured, married with children, business woman who is respected by everyone. Be scared if you cross her. We worked on the principal: "to be in contorl but not obvious control', and it payed off. You can not take someone else's example as the way for your child as they all react diff. Just do your best, give heeps of love, support and help. We hope that you are as lucky as us. The Karma today is our daughters children think that they are in controlllllll Ha Hah.!!! Oldgold
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Letsgetcrazy09
12 years ago
Once took the door off its hinges for a week............attitude settled down afterwards, although the abuse and "breach of civil rights" banter was just laughable. Yes breathe, consider your actions, hit them where it hurts them the most. In saying that, you have to be even handed and praise where required too.
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discreet_liasons
12 years ago
Quoting 'Handmaiden'I have raised mine, step daughter and several foster daughters. The department sends me those that no one else can handle. It seems I have a knack with them. The best thing you can do is realise that teenage hood is an actual mental condition. The cure for 15 is 16. The cure for 16 is 17. Go and source a book called "Politically Incorrect Parenting of Teenagers" Packed full of humour and common sense advice. All you can to is stand firm, love them but set your boundaries. Don't be too hard but know that they will eventually grow up. If she won't clean her room. Simple. Warn her then you do it. Take every single thing out except her bed. You chose her clothes for the week and give them to her on a daily basis. She will hate it but make sure all her stuff is locked away or she WILL take it back Tell her what I recently told my son. If you want to leave my life then you do it the same way you entered it. Naked and crying! Gotta love a teenager. They are so very funny and so so dramatic! If you really don't like the state of her room..... shut the door. Advise her that she is now responsible for her own laundry. Look the other way. She will run out of clothes eventually. ^^ What she said! You cannot reason with a 13-16yo, there is no logic, you are unfair and embarrassing and should shut your face and at no time may you make eye contact. If you so dare as to make a joke, laugh at them or critique anything about them you should burst into flames and die...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Teenagers (girls and boys) quite frankly, have no sense of humour! Msfun
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