M50

The Alien Kiss

April 14 2012

I was watching a show the other day, and there was a comedically bad kiss that occurred between two characters. This reminded me of the occasions where I've been confronted with a bad kisser. I love a good kiss, start small and work your way out. It's seems that I have a pretty good success rate on finding compatible kissers, but I've come across some baddies in my time. The bad mouth, eye co-ordinator. This is where the kisser seems to be unable to centre their kissing to yours, they seem to be kissing one side of your mouth or another. It's like two poles of the same magnetic energy unable to join. Whoops missed, ooopsie missed again. The Alien Kiss. This is where the person you are kissing opens their mouth so wide, you imagine another little mouth is going to pop out and stab out your eye. I have NO idea where this idea that opening your mouth till your jaw aches originated from. But unless you're the lion and i'm the tamer, and i'm putting my head in your mouth, shut it! How are you supposed to do anything with a static mouth open person? You've locked your jaw so wide you can't really kiss, it's like two fishes bumping into each other. The Tongue Gauge - This is where the person in question sticks their tongue so forcefully down your throat you're tempted to fight back. Like a tonguing thumb wrestle. Not sexy, less is best. Okay they are my bad ones, do you have any? Kisses are really important, as you all know. So perhaps if it's not working for you, communicate that. What's the worse that could happen, if the kiss doesn't work, how's the sex going to be? Kisses can make or break a situation. First kisses can be spectacular, even better and more exciting than sex. My personal favourite, kissing in the rain. If a girls not screeching about 'getting her hair wet' and doesn't mind getting soaked in the process of stealing a great kiss, then baby, come on down. AndrewP.S It's raining right now, it's pouring as I write this. I hope this gets posted now because a kiss in the rain would make my week.

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RHP User

13 years ago

According to the science of kissing the reason men love sloppy kisses is because they are depositing small amounts of testosterone in our mouths....so that women will want them for their baby daddys and our testosterone will increase....so ladies,beware Mr Sloppy. All the bad kissers seem to roll into one,the sloppy,the voracious....I am not a piece of toast!.....the doesnt quite taste right....... so you aint gonna be my baby daddy!! and the open mouthed fish.....you aint catching nothing!! But there are two sensational kisses I remember.One Andy,, was in the middle of a thunderstorm,he was an Irishman and we had just left a party when he grabbed me,electric arrows did indeed pierce my flesh with that man. The second was with an older lover where the kiss had an almost mind altering affect on both of us,clocks stopped,breath ceased,it went on forever.....sigh I want to experience that again xxxxx Hugs H

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RHP User

13 years ago

It starts with the eyes, that first contact. You look at them and and the eyes connect , and then you look away. You look back and your eyes go to a persons mouth, and all of a sudden you can’t hear them any more all you can do is look at their lips moving, and you wonder what it would be like to just lean over a little, brush your lips softly against theirs. Its in the hands, its when a man touches some part of your clothing, just a fingertip touch, and then that finger is just feeling the pulse of your neck. He stands closer he can sense that your personal force field that holds of others , has started to come down as soft and subtle as hundred year old silk. Its raining, you forget to step under that awning as you feel one hand in the small of your back, he sneaks it in under your raincoat. Some how you just wait, just hang on that second. Like that drop of rain caught on an eyelash before it falls to your cheek. Your lips brush, he takes his time, he will go from your mouth along your chin down your neck. He will cup your wet face in those confident hands, one lifts your chin the other has your hair in his hands, at theback of your head. And then you are lost, in that first passionate kiss. A kiss is everything , sex is nothing without it. But a person can kiss like a sucker fish, or like a zipper fish( lips closed) they can take your tonsils out with a tongue and some people like that but its the chemistry that makes a good kiss.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I expect we've all encountered the types of kissers you're talking about but you're the first I've come across to have named them. Kudos to you, my friend.

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RHP User

13 years ago

kissing is almost better than sex itself. if the kiss chemistry isnt there, then neither will any thing else - for me anyway. when you catch each others eyes - in my mind im yelling kiss me!!!! That first kiss, the tension.. ah...then he takes my face in his huge hands and kisses me gently at first, my face, my neck, that hot hot breath - then launches into something so passionate and knee weakening that i cant breathe. mmmm i need a kiss!

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'ramee01' kissing is almost better than sex itself. if the kiss chemistry isnt there, then neither will any thing else - for me anyway. when you catch each others eyes - in my mind im yelling kiss me!!!! That first kiss, the tension.. ah...then he takes my face in his huge hands and kisses me gently at first, my face, my neck, that hot hot breath - then launches into something so passionate and knee weakening that i cant breathe. mmmm i need a kiss!I just wet my pants.

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RHP User

13 years ago

a good kisser, yep, awesome, especially if there has been a build up, soft lips, tongue, then cupping the back of the neck, kissing gently down the side of the neck, hearing the subtle throaty purr, knowing there is atingling all over, gently pressing hips.................

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RHP User

13 years ago

This was so not the forum to read while laying in bed on a Sunday morning !!!!!!! I so need to be kissed again............ Ok time to get up ........sod it

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RHP User

13 years ago

i had the most amazing kisser once....he was hot and sexy, absolutely gorgeous he was his kiss was perfection....god i could cum from his kisses they were that great didnt get to sex though....he cum in his pants you cant always tell how good or bad it will be by a kiss Hugs

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'SLK27'This was so not the forum to read while laying in bed on a Sunday morning !!!!!!! I so need to be kissed again............ Ok time to get up ........sod it hey I just got and went to the gym instead , I think the kiss thing is going to drive all the women nuts that do not have a great kisser handy. Now a swim and walk the dog and off to the studio to get rid of the frustraiton! get up and out SLK its a fantastic day today as per usual magic Mandurah ps the football boys were in the water doing training this morning maybe I should get Ferris to go fetch me one out of the water.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Now there is a thought for an enterprising dog breeder,a Manretriever....a cross between an Saint Bernard and a Bull Terrier...Saint Bernard ,large enough for a saddle so he can ride to you,and the Bull Terrier to scare the beejsus out of him if he refuses to come quietly...could put your invation in a small container round said dogs neck...hang on, has to be a third breed.in there as well....for the retriever bit..hmm maybe a Golden Retriever,.....sounding a bit all to hard basket for me....and then what if the dog brings back dud kissers?......oh well, seemed like a good idea at the time.....

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'WantedBabyDaddy' i had the most amazing kisser once....he was hot and sexy, absolutely gorgeous he was his kiss was perfection....god i could cum from his kisses they were that great didnt get to sex though....he cum in his pants you cant always tell how good or bad it will be by a kiss Hugs ...cos it means you must be a fantastic kisser too!

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'MistressT' Quoting 'WantedBabyDaddy' i had the most amazing kisser once....he was hot and sexy, absolutely gorgeous he was his kiss was perfection....god i could cum from his kisses they were that great didnt get to sex though....he cum in his pants you cant always tell how good or bad it will be by a kiss Hugs ...cos it means you must be a fantastic kisser too! of course Mistress your right....im a great kisser my mirror tells me all the time!!! Hugs

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RHP User

13 years ago

The Digger: This kiss is when his face is just pushed up against mine so much that his nose is digging into my face and his teeth are scraping against mine, even if I'm backing off a little he seems to take that as "come further hither". The Wiggler: My personal pet hate. When he just wiggles his lips all over mine and I can't follow which direction he's going next. Even worse when this kind of kiss come in conjunction with a sloppy kiss too. And yes, good kissing is when they tease by starting of small and gradually gets bigger and more intense with each kiss.

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RHP User

13 years ago

The kissing is just so important for us, the first kiss, it's one of the things we really look forward to when meeting up with friends.I recall the time we got together with a couple we hadn't been intimate with before. We were in a hotel room, the lights were dimmed & we were touching each other. I had started exploring his wifes soft lips with mine, so nice they were. Her hubby had just started kissing my wife, then she stopped and said to his wife ' what sort of kissing is that, he's slobbering all over me' the guys wife replied 'I know, he kisses like our dog'.He got up and switched on the telly, so we continued as a 3some, it was still a fun night.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I should clarify. Names and situations are fictitious and bear no relation to real people. Especially and specifically if they read forums on RHP :) So what have we got so far. The Dog. (awesome story FYI) The Wiggler (sounds like a Batman Villain obsessed with Fruit Salad ... joke for the Mums out there :P ) The Digger The Premature Kisser (although that could just be a one off... Poor bugga) Zipper Kiss (the sort you give your smelly auntie) Of course we can't forget the first kiss or even the stolen kiss. The Kiss Thief, sounds like a Mills and Boon character. I think the best moment i had in my youth was the illicit kiss. Not that I want to promote cheating, but when I was much younger I was playing around with a bi girl in the Dept of Health, she and I kissed for the first time in the elevator, but the moment before we kissed, i'm sure electricity shot out of my body towards her and my iris's exploded in lust. BAM!

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'Priapus75' i'm sure electricity shot out of my body towards her and my iris's exploded in lust. BAM! Lol! Now that really does sound like a scene out of Batman!

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RHP User

13 years ago

But have had my share of bad kisses. I do not however believe in bad kissers. I think it is about compatible kissers. Like all things, what works for one might not for another.I too like when a kiss starts small. Lips gently pressing together until the kiss becomes deeper. Your body starts to tingle and when it is really good you can feel it allover and the need to bring the person you are kissing closer to you is overwhelming. Touch my face or neck while you are kissing me and I will melt. Kiss my forehead or eyelids, lightly suck on my lower lip and bite, then you will really get me going!xx Salina

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'Priapus75' I should clarify. Names and situations are fictitious and bear no relation to real people. Especially and specifically if they read forums on RHP :) So what have we got so far. The Dog. (awesome story FYI) The Wiggler (sounds like a Batman Villain obsessed with Fruit Salad ... joke for the Mums out there :P ) The Digger The Premature Kisser (although that could just be a one off... Poor bugga) Zipper Kiss (the sort you give your smelly auntie) Of course we can't forget the first kiss or even the stolen kiss. The Kiss Thief, sounds like a Mills and Boon character. I think the best moment i had in my youth was the illicit kiss. Not that I want to promote cheating, but when I was much younger I was playing around with a bi girl in the Dept of Health, she and I kissed for the first time in the elevator, but the moment before we kissed, i'm sure electricity shot out of my body towards her and my iris's exploded in lust. BAM! i was 10 yrs old and travelling back on the school bus from a school excursion.....it had been raining that day so all the kids had their rain coats with them.sitting on the back of the bus with my girlfriend,, she threw her rain coat over us both, hidden from the teachers view, turned her head to the side and lent forward to kiss me..... problem was she had a mouthful of chicken twisties which she spat into my mouth in the process...So, Jackie Baxter... if your out there and read these words, just curious if you found the experience as romantic as i did..... but i guess life's pretty straight without twisties.

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RHP User

13 years ago

They even have instructional vids for kissing - hilarious British humour- it's a good site for cooking as well.check out videojug for:- How to kiss for the first time- How to kiss creatively- How to get naked together

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RHP User

13 years ago

Not to mention the 'ruminating cow kiss' ..... where there's a combination of wide slobbery kisses where his/her lips move the same way as a cow munching on a tasty morsel of lush green grass!Thankfully not had one of those for a good long while

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Cassy_74

13 years ago

Funny you should about watching a comedy about bad kissing, I happened to be watching Sex and The City the other night and watched the episode where Charlotte dates a guy that licks her whole face lol!!! The line that Samantha came out with was classic "if he is that bad with his tongue, imagine how bad he is with his dick" lol!!! Personally, the kiss is the clincher, you can tell what the rest is going to be like with the kiss its almost like the preview!! But with the sex aside, I remember my first real passionate kiss with more affection then the first time I had sex. The kiss did more for me.

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The Alien Kiss

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