F110
The Cyrano dilemma
December 30 2014
Comments
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
refer to SimonDoes Lost Puppies post...
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RHP User
10 years ago
A huge difference between basically writing someone's profile for them and giving them feedback in a general way.If their profile doesn't reflect who they actually are,when you meet them that becomes apparent...Sort of like celebrity endorsements for a product which doesn't deliver.I would never advise anyone to change unsafe sex options to safe...because the former reflects how they act..xx Freya
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RHP User
10 years ago
This question comes up now and then in different forums, so I thought I'd give it its own.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
I used to offer a lot of assistance.... for what others consider it to be worth. Long, detailed posts on the what, the how, the why.. and how it all worked together. But as a result of the repetitive nature of the questions, and due to the deliberate manipulation of a false persona by two specific individuals in here as a result of what I advised........I no longer offer the assistance I used to. These two only wanted to satisfy their agenda, instead of learn and improve themselves. One even abused me because I didn't tell him what to do... as in a formula A+B to obtain C, which was all about him controlling and scheming over his wife. That was his real personality.... not the contrived one based on the advantage of knowledge... so I felt it was important to let others see that personality instead of the deliberately painted one. These days, Im more inclined to let the wheat and the chaff fight it out. Call it RHPevolution.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Its not rocket science on how to get a half decent profile up. A man with half a brain should be able to get rid of the ask me quotes. He should be able to look around at his fellow man's. But instead he sees someone post the ground hog question and get free advertising for the effort. Light bulb moment. "I'll do that too". Let them stand on their own laurels, sink or swim. The survivors we can take back on board, nurse them back to health. And then eat them.......
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RHP User
10 years ago
I most often feel sorry for the man who asked. . I don't think most realise what they are letting themselves in for. Pity the poor fool who thought he would just get some attention out of it. My little voice whispers that I never know what goes on behind the scenes, so maybe it works for some... All those lovelies offering sympathy for the poor bloke. . There are plenty of people offering all sorts of advice that I usually don't even go into those threads for more than a quick look over. . Though, my pet hate is the pay up if you want to play up attitude. It's no wonder they start getting some sense of entitlement. Being a member doesn't work for everyone! AND There are guests it does work for! You don't see a lot of them in the forums. Hmmm... . All up, some will take on the advice that works for them and use it well. AND Of course, for some people, you can talk till you're blue in the face, and they won't listen to anything. *shrugs* Peachy . Bad Ruby :-D... we can no play there no more.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' I would never advise anyone to change unsafe sex options to safe...because the former reflects how they act..xx Freya
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think those people are referred to askholes 😊xx Freya
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
this topic, however captioned has been covered many times....the most recent incarnation was the lost puppies thread only 7 days ago.....and we all know how that one played out. Personally, I love the terrible profiles, full of 'ask me' and template words. They show me very quickly the ones to stay away from. I am not going to give them any advice as it may change who they really are , why give them a false persona?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I really had no idea that the profile was a key factor.... I merely thought you'd send a few messages out and if we got a long ok then it'd naturally take its course... But little did I realise that it's almost an art form....I must admit this has done my head in numerous times.... However, thanks to some guidance and a big deep breath I've grown from that and have made some advances not just in how I write my profile, but in life generally. How I deal with people, how I handle myself, and I've learned a lot.... I've written a couple of examples in numerous threads about messages, but I think messages are a little different in the sense that messages last a shorter time in someone's mind than a well written profile. The examples that I have written in threads I'm sure someone has probably tried to steal, but it's one message and their personality and headspace will shine through quicker.... So guidance is ok in a very generic sense, but the details I think I draw the line at.... As someone can't grow unless they see a need to.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm with Freya, some direction will help, rewriting it for them is entirely different.
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RHP User
10 years ago
...on how to present a profile. Because, of course, it then wouldn't be an accurate representation of them, would it? After all, doesn't Rhp offer such handy tips anyway? Advice on grammar, sentence structure, etc etc is all well and good..not everyone had their nose buried in a novel when they were young..but it's like wanting to succeed at anything, you have to do your homework and put in a bit of effort if you want...no, deserve...the rewards. I put some effort into mine, by myself of course, and I don't know how most people read it..but I do know that when I read it, it's..along with the photos..a true representation of me and I'm comfortable with it. I don't feel like I'm living a lie. I'm not saying I get flooded with messages either..far from it! ; )..but I'm happy in my skin. And that includes this digital one. : )
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RHP User
10 years ago
Unfortunately the Lost puppies thread died before this aspect could be explored. Here's what I said then and it applies here: Is it better that people should be left free to expose themselves uncensored and unassisted; in their profiles and their forum posts? I have noticed many times advice given to remove negativity, something that will often betray an underlying misogyny or other unattractive baggage. There's advice to change safe sex preferences - because ticking the right box will just as effective as actually using a condom. And of course if you've slipped up somewhere and given the impression you have a partner you should tidy that up too - inconsistency is a turn off, while an effective liar is a winner. Better to let them hang themselves early on I would think
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RHP User
10 years ago
Maybe those posters aren't as stupid as we all think. Maybe they don't really want our opinion 😏 After all, we all know posting on the forums gets attention. Just like those who can't wait to jump onto every thread to leave a comment. I know I do that when I have a "Look at me" moment 😎 You don't need to be a paid member to post on here, so who knows? They might just grab someone's attention and get messaged ☺ Wait a minute. Here's yet another useless post from me. 👉Hey everybody, look at me! 👈 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
How does one learn if one does not ask a question? Yes give advice, does not mean you have to tell them what to write word for word.
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madotara69
10 years ago
On how the question is asked and followed on with, during the thread. I remember one fellow introducing himself to the forums, asking for some opinions as to his profile. He was hounded for what he had written and spent a lot of time posting back trying for the life of him, expressing that his sense of humour was being mistaken, fair enough, can be the hardest thing having text fit the emotions, where eye to eye speaks for the nature of sakes, can be taken for granted. The fellow changed a few things as he took it on the chin, his humour was not coming across as perceived, in so his character began as a regular poster for some time, his sense of humour came through in the end. Admittedly it often more than not seems just a chance for some free mail and it does not take long for that too become the main approach and of little worth as an introduction. So it depends as an individual thingy. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Why bother I ask! Each profile is much the same yet it comes down to the reader ? Some people will like and others will simply move on...
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On_Safari
10 years ago
Isn't going to win brownie points no matter how it's dressed up. I gave out my very last unsolicited profile suggestion (you'll notice I didn't say advice, tip or trick) yesterday. In all honesty if you can't be yourself in your own life that'll be reflected in your profile. Template profiles for template people etc etc. sorry to get all biblical but God helps those who help themselves. True Story! Indy x
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6exxy
10 years ago
Most people simply don't know. I believe that all should get the benefit of the doubt in the first instance. Are we not here to help? However it has turned into something else because of the frequent same questions. Some tolerance and patience would be nice.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Learned to not comment on people's tick boxes in their profile, however I've always been happy to offer suggestions on the written part. I think I've changed my mind about that in part though, especially when it comes to overall tone. Still happy to suggest things to askers like telling more about themselves and what they are looking for, but I think if a profile comes across as negative or disrespectful in general, that serves a purpose.
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
As a tradie way back when, I do feel empathy for the seemingly honest, but poor written communicators and those that are super negative. If I feel they are genuinely trying to better their chances, sure I do not mind helping...... The ones that annoy me are those that do not take anyone's advice, some even claiming transference issues...Why the heck do they ask?
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