The Cyryno de Bergerac affect

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  however, like all advertising you have to expect a little bullshit factor. Not real bullshit, I am anti-lying, but you certainly have to dress up and put your best foot forward. We are all flawed and that will all come out in the wash, some will accept those flaws, others won't. I think there is honest but there is also too honest. I wouldn't go to a job interview unprepared and I suppose you are here to fill a vacancy.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I have trouble knowing my self let alone others. You can never know the real person and are left to rely on nothing more that personal impression. If based on a lie then the truth will quickly visualize its self. If the ruse is so well done that you never find out, does truth matter at all. Pretend to love me for ever and I will do so in return, who knows I may grow to like you as well.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I didnt read this.....you know how I feel.

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  madotara69

  11 years ago

  It's hard to write from feelings, hard to read them. Better to reason to them. I put up a post once, it's a thing, some words have an automatic response. One here one there and the whole story becomes about them. It's early days this digital romance, technology will catch up soon so text has feel. RHP must be working on it as we type. There is a lot of offensive, there is a lot of defensive feelings and emotions churning in the engine room. Hey diddle diddle The cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon Mado Mado Tara xx

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Can we help it , if it is our overwhelming desire to help our fellow man ? To lift him to the lofty heights that we inhabit ? GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I don't think so Ms Q. In business I routinely have my written work checked by others to make sure the meaning I intend is the meaning I've conveyed. We're 3D people but the written word is a 1D medium ... and so much can get lost in translation. When a few photos and some words on a screen are your one chance of catching someone's attention here I can understand why people ask for feedback. And I think the feedback is valuable, though sometimes too directive and off-piste for my appetite. (I never understand the need to attack or the tendency to answer a bunch of unasked questions but not the question the OP has put forward.) I also think that sometimes the feedback leads the owner of the profile to rethink their attitude, the carelessness of some of their expressions and so on. Most people learn something about themselves, others and the world through feedback from others. They might learn they like things just the way they are, or they might learn a new perspective or similar. The feedback has real value, I think, but what the recipient does with it is their call. There's a small risk people will use such feedback to hide their true colours but that happens everywhere in life and it's up to all of us to be properly discerning about others. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  is a little different to reconstructing a profile to reflect what others want and becomes deceptive...and what of the next step.....messages sent that in no way reflect the articulation in said profile..... I have had a number of men contact me asking me to rewrite their profiles for them.....a profile is not just a stand alone advertisement it is part of a continuing dialogue if it attracts interest......I would much rather read a profile that reflects who the person is,their attitudes ,what they are genuinely seeking than some spin......xx Q

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  ...the lad asked for advice, just as many have, and he got it in no uncertain terms. Mostly we were telling him what NOT to write which still comes a long way short of putting words in his mouth.I have a (naïve maybe) hope that everyone keeps growing and evolving. I know I'm not the same person I was when I was thirty one. I'm not even the same person I was at forty.Hopefully, the strong reaction the young fella's words created will get him to stop and reflect on his attitude. He may yet learn to stop objectifying women according to their body shape and learn to respect them as individuals. Here's hoping, anyway.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  This post was not about that young man....it is a conclusion that I have come to after being asked on a number of occasions to rewrite profiles....of course some people are better at the written word than others but it is not just about editing....spell and grammar checks it's about spin.....xx Q

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I stopped a while ago with suggesting "Safe sex: Sometimes" etc. would turn people off. I get messages sometimes asking what I think about profiles. I'm always happy to say things like: Don't mention your ex, write more about you and don't use words like "hate" (One guy seemed to mean well when wrote he hates unhappy people, not realising how bad it sounded.) However when a profile makes someone sound like a creep, jerk or they sound like angry men and women, I may just let them dig their own hole. Hard sometimes though! A couple that recently posted a forum had a profile so negative and demanding in my view that I had to comment, hoping they'd see how they came across. Don't think it worked though. p.s. I used the Cyrano/Christian reference recently to two FBWs of mine, but neither had any idea what I meant. Thanks for explaining it.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'lilmiss_fussy' The feedback has real value, I think, but what the recipient does with it is their call. There's a small risk people will use such feedback to hide their true colours but that happens everywhere in life and it's up to all of us to be properly discerning about others. I have noticed that more often than not when people post a forum asking for help, they don't do anything with the suggestions. So I'm wondering if they are just asking to get noticed.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'lilmiss_fussy' The feedback has real value, I think, but what the recipient does with it is their call. There's a small risk people will use such feedback to hide their true colours but that happens everywhere in life and it's up to all of us to be properly discerning about others. I have noticed that more often than not when people post a forum asking for help, they don't do anything with the suggestions. So I'm wondering if they are just asking to get noticed. I think you're probably right :)

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'lilmiss_fussy' The feedback has real value, I think, but what the recipient does with it is their call. There's a small risk people will use such feedback to hide their true colours but that happens everywhere in life and it's up to all of us to be properly discerning about others. I have noticed that more often than not when people post a forum asking for help, they don't do anything with the suggestions. So I'm wondering if they are just asking to get noticed. I think you're probably right :)

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  Dryphuz

  11 years ago

  I never asked for profile advice in the first place, but what i got, i learned from. Ambiguity can be a bitch in profiles though. At least one part of my profile others only found offensive because of a misunderstanding of my intent. But i think if you dont tell people that "hey! others may find that attitude offensive", they may never change themselves or their profile. On the other hand is it better that its in thier profile as warning, or better to come out in the wash like ralf74 said? Re-writing their profile is a bit much though. A profile should be a personal thing. I'm from adelaide which has a pretty tiny representation on RHP and 50-75% of the profiles from women in Adelaide are barely changed from the profile builder they give you when you first sign up. Basically we're left to judge people on their pictures cos everything else is written by a program.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  It is what is not said that is as telling as what is said......using the profile builder in my opinion also speaks volumes xx Q

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  Dryphuz

  11 years ago

  I liked this girl, but knew she didn't like me. I knew someone else who liked her, but was too shy to do anything much about it. I hooked them up, although it took some time and plenty of talking the bloke up. I don't know how it worked out for Cyrano or Steve, but these two stayed together until i lost contact with them. For all i know they're still together.

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