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RHP

RHP User

F107

🙏The Journey, The Pot, The Emotional Bank Account🙏

February 28 2018

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Our Journeys in life can take us in many directions there are times the ride runs smoothly other times it can be rocky and sometimes a bit like being on a roller coaster.. This thread is for you to be able to share if things are rocky so we can all help to give some deposits, so to speak for your emotional pot or if you prefer to use the metaphor emotional bank account it's about what feels right for you. .This thread is also for anyone to post a deposit at anytime as there are people who don't post, that just might need a deposit so to speak you may also like to post to someone without saying who they are because you know their having/ going through a rough patch..I first heard about the pot many years ago when I went on the ADHD, journey for my son, the person I took him to was a Psychiatrist a wonderful man sadly he passed away the other year :( he was a lovely man, his family who all worked at the clinic were all lovely, his daughters are both psychologists his wife worked in the office and the family dog was always with them too ( in the office area) greeting people who came to the clinic, it was a nurturing environment. .I went on the ADHD journey myself as the clinic was for both children and adults, I did group therapy with other adults it was very holistic and nurturing we were looked after by that I mean not only did we all learn a lot they provided us with, food which was just lovely, they cared for us is what I am trying to say..In was during one of those group sessions I first heard about Virginia Satir and The Pot how I interpreted the story of The Pot. that Dr Barry told us was that it was always being used by Virginia's family, how it was explained to us was that in winter it would be used to make soup and in summer it was used to make fruit to preserve. If you look up about the Pot, you'll read how it was used for many things. The point is that it was always being used hence The Emotional Pot keeping it full by continuing to make deposits..I look at it this way even the deposits don't fill up The Pot or Emotional Bank Account but it's enough to help you get through to build you up a bit it all helps.I hope that all makes sense.. You can look her up if you like you can also look up the story of The Pot too..This is from Wikipedia..Virginia Satir (26 June 1916 – 10 September 1988) was an American author and therapist,[1] known especially for her approach to family therapy and her pioneering work in the field of family reconstruction therapy.[1] She is widely regarded as the "Mother of Family Therapy"[2][3] Her most well-known books are Conjoint Family Therapy, 1964, Peoplemaking, 1972, and The New Peoplemaking, 1988. 💙Love and Light to all 💜 This is the best I could find as a metaphor for all the nurturing/ emotional deposits The Bowls Of Soup for the Pot and the Shopping trolly as a metaphor for a cash register/bank account to fill up. 🍵🍵🛒🛒

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I don’t know why anyone would want to put their heart and soul and personal story on a public online forum? Although many do. The only deposits I am accepting are in my clacker. 😏

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    is a day I wish I could forget...but even forgetting doesn't take away damage already done. 15-20 years ago I was so full of energy, hopes and dreams and now I feel worn and shattered, giving too much, a little wiser and a little more sad in exchange for all that. I wish I never let myself be exposed to the swing scene. Even in a short time, I have seen too much fkd up crap and desperation. Could not imagine having anything to do with it all my life. I am about half way through my journey of healing from a depressive, seemingly self worthless state. Too many invisible lines. Still a long way to go. Lots of alone time has allowed me to heal and perhaps one day I will have the zest to go travelling once more. Looking back I realise how much damage my subconscious thoughts and behaviours have had on my life. I am starting to hear what I tell myself when nobody is around. The constant internal struggle when one side overpowers and overflows my mind, it comes out to the world. I was bright and bubbly once, but somewhere that light just went away. Even trying to expose myself to more light, it doesn't seem to last, while at the same time keeping negativity at bay. What to focus on next? Not myself I hope, feels a little tragic. Time to find some passion, but where...? As I grow older I see more and more of this same behaviour and attitude around me. But then the bubbly behaviour is too much, like I won't let my flame be lit anymore. It's a really strange feeling. I think I'm headed for that freaking mid-life crisis, whether I like it or not LOL

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Thinking about you --- sending you warm wishes.I will reply with more but at the mo have to take care of some things. Hugs Rubi O O O

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  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    7 years ago

    I need a good wingman. You know, someone who can keep up the rhythm while I catch my breathe. Someone who can tag team and high five. Someone grubby like me. Someone who drinks smokey whisky and when things are a bit slow, someone who knows how a couple of lads can entertain themselves in a nude kind of way. Someone who isn’t going to get all kindergarten on me over who’s best friends with who. Someone who has been there and done that so now wants no more than Netflix and chill until the end of days. Stuff like that. Are these Batchelor type wishes too much to ask? Hugs Gaz

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Big hugs, stay strong and true to yourself.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Quoting 'FlyGirlC' is a day I wish I could forget...but even forgetting doesn't take away damage already done. 15-20 years ago I was so full of energy, hopes and dreams and now I feel worn and shattered, giving too much, a little wiser and a little more sad in exchange for all that. I wish I never let myself be exposed to the swing scene. Even in a short time, I have seen too much fkd up crap and desperation. Could not imagine having anything to do with it all my life. I am about half way through my journey of healing from a depressive, seemingly self worthless state. Too many invisible lines. Still a long way to go. Lots of alone time has allowed me to heal and perhaps one day I will have the zest to go travelling once more. Looking back I realise how much damage my subconscious thoughts and behaviours have had on my life. I am starting to hear what I tell myself when nobody is around. The constant internal struggle when one side overpowers and overflows my mind, it comes out to the world. I was bright and bubbly once, but somewhere that light just went away. Even trying to expose myself to more light, it doesn't seem to last, while at the same time keeping negativity at bay. What to focus on next? Not myself I hope, feels a little tragic. Time to find some passion, but where...? As I grow older I see more and more of this same behaviour and attitude around me. But then the bubbly behaviour is too much, like I won't let my flame be lit anymore. It's a really strange feeling. I think I'm headed for that freaking mid-life crisis, whether I like it or not LOL I feel as if I wrote this myself. I hear where you are coming from and where you are at. I guess the one thing we have learnt is who can hurt us next. Im pretty cluey in knowing who not to let in but still I am emotionally/physically damaged. We are strong and survivors even though we feel so weak. In a way I am when I give in to it all and try to suicide. I felt I was finally alive when I met a whole group of swingers then I was trashed and burnt again. Although my shrink says when I gave up another account I finally started respecting myself taking myself away from this lifestyle I told her she is wrong as I am glad I have done what I done and learnt more out of this. I wouldnt change a thing. Hang in there sweetie, even if you have a bit of a connection with someone on here and they stop talking to you then take that as it wasnt meant to be. I always take things slowly to not allow them to hurt me too bad. Life never gives us more then we can deal with, we just need to believe this. xxx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I wish I did stay superficial and just curious, never to satisfy that curiosity or even trying to make my life work out. I thought I was strong, I thought I knew what I wanted. Now to rid all of the cringeworthy stuff and the near-misses. Yeah it was fun to rebel, but I only end up hurting myself. Not listening to anyone’s advice who cares for me. It was until my neighbour who is in her mid-50s told me, “this isn’t you” that made me see the truth when I thought I had it all figured out. I was wrong, I can believe all I want and I wanted to put everything into making it work, but another can tell me they want it too but if they are lying to themselves and worse, don’t even know it, that is the biggest betrayal anyone can suffer. I trust myself 100% no matter what, if it’s all I’ve got left. But relying on someone else’s word when they think your vision is a good idea but then can’t see a way to make it work? I communicate and the other doesn’t? I cannot get imagery out of my head. Did I deserve this? I let it in, but I didn’t deserve this pain. For me it’s healthy to talk about it, I can’t tell anyone else and my friend is sick of hearing it. Although it has brought us a lot closer being able to share such deep issues. She also doesn’t understand fully but she listens. I’m not self-important but I do need support from people going through or who have gone through the same thing. That’s why I write. I can be anonymous. After I die, none of all this matters so why the hell not make myself feel better? I’m in no mood for sex. That’s just gross to me right now.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I’m so confused. “You gotta know what you want” “I do know!” Now I know that t I don’t know or will ever know.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I cannot relate to what you are going through exactly but it seems to me that you took on the lifestyle not just the play side. Now if this is the case it will take some time to find you and your wants as basically you are now a new and different you. I have experienced this a couple of times firstly knocking around with a crowd I loved being with but were not suited to my true being. I found it hard to find me after I said goodbye to that stage of life as these were my mates for a dozen odd years and I had lived the life that went with it.The second time was finally being diagnosed and medicated as I had cycled my moods for a decade thinking I was just a useless piece of trash. When settled by medication I was once again basically a new person. Which was the weirdest thing to experience finding this child I once was. So just hang in there live your life surround yourself with good people if you have them and eventually you will know you again.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I feel it may be relevant, we all go through different things but there are quite often links to what we feel about what we go through.I am reading an understanding of what you are going through from Pangolin I hope his words resonate with you and help you in some way.Hugs Rubi O O Quoting 'pangolin28' I cannot relate to what you are going through exactly but it seems to me that you took on the lifestyle not just the play side. Now if this is the case it will take some time to find you and your wants as basically you are now a new and different you. I have experienced this a couple of times firstly knocking around with a crowd I loved being with but were not suited to my true being. I found it hard to find me after I said goodbye to that stage of life as these were my mates for a dozen odd years and I had lived the life that went with it.The second time was finally being diagnosed and medicated as I had cycled my moods for a decade thinking I was just a useless piece of trash. When settled by medication I was once again basically a new person. Which was the weirdest thing to experience finding this child I once was. So just hang in there live your life surround yourself with good people if you have them and eventually you will know you again.

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    and the insight from within to express yourself well and that's a start and a good one at that.Good on you FlyGirl Don't underestimate what is within you.Hugs Rubi O OLol I thought I didn’t have words...Quoting 'FlyGirlC' I’m so confused. “You gotta know what you want” “I do know!” Now I know that t I don’t know or will ever know.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Something that might be a helpful way to look at where you are at is that part of may be that you are grieving.Grieving isn't just about a death, grief can be about other things that happen in life to.Many years ago through something I was dealing with, I rang the Griefline here in Victoria the person I spoke to helped to not only with support and understanding that conversation helped me aknowledge what I knew and what I needed to contiue doing in my journey back then.If you think that resonates with you perhaps look at some support around grieving.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Your post the words and your own understanding through your lived experiences were both profound and insightful. Thank you I am so glad that you have such a wonderful neighbour who sounds amazing. I hope you are going well at the mo and wishing you a lovely weekend.

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Everyone has their boundaries, some let/take the fun too far. In hindsight I already knew my boundaries but pushing them because others tell you to is what dims my light. In the heat of the moment, the worst of people can come out and later the repercussions start an unstoppable change reaction. If someone rewards it, people can keep going back when it’s seemingly doing no harm on the surface but actually does a lot of harm underneath and these are where the demons lie, subtly telling lies and you find yourself telling yourself lies. So this is what’s happened to me when I push too far to make myself go the extra mile, to try to learn fast, believing that i can, then things spiral out of control and then you are left with the debris. Also looking back, this is my usual behaviour getting carried away with what could be. That’s the flip side to my childhood dreaming I guess. Things are never what they seem and that is a very sad reality. Let’s go into fantasy and trick our brains more. I turn to gaming but now I think traveling is the only out for me to see the beauty in life once more or more of the dark side. I wish I never took off my rose-tinted glasses but I have to live with my consequences. I think I am stronger, I cry less but the pain is there. They say this is strength but I think it’s more suppression of what hurts to continue with life

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I’m not sure that it makes a difference but maybe because I’m still numb. Positivity bit by bit will help

    reply

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