F47

The Kindness of Strangers

February 24 2016

My faith in human nature has well and truly been restored. Two weeks ago, after working the same job for 12 years, I was unexpectantly made redundant. Government position so it wasn't softly done, and so I went home, bunkered down on the couch, turned on Netflix and lived on a diet of chocolate and chips for several days, feeling incredibly sorry for myself. Full of woe, ignoring well intentioned sms of support and lovely FB messages. On the morning of Valentines Day, my brother while out on a road ride, training for a well known cycle charity event, he was involved in a head on collision with a car on the South Coast of NSW. He was severely injured and choppered to a Sydney hospital where he is still in a critical condition. Since the accident he has had 3 surgeries (mainly to stabilise his spine which is not real good) he is still incubated ( he has two collapsed lungs, the left punctured ) although he is at times, conscious and is communicating by blinking so he has indicated to us that he knows what has happened and where he is. A relief The hospital staff from every area have been amazing and we are in awe of their work and compassion I live in Sydney not too afar from the hospital and I have swapped my home with my sister in law so she can stay at my place and be close to her husband and I'm staying down at their place, taking care of my young teenage nieces and nephews and running the household ( I guess there is reason why I was made redundant) Why am overwhelmed and grateful ? Unbeknown to our family, a few days ago, a casual friend started a funding page to help get my brother come home (its gonna be a huge adjustment) and pledges have rolled in, many from total strangers and many anonymous. This has brought my SIL and mother to tears. The kindness of friends, but of complete strangers has stunned all of us. Last night, I came home late after taking the kids up to Sydney to see their father only to find that neighbours and friends and come to the house while we were gone, cleaned it from top to toe, stocked the fridge up with shopping, stocked the freezer with casseroles etc and a busy bee had taken place outside , where the garden had been attended to, lawns mowed and odd jobs done, all to help out my family, so these were less things to worry about . Now my brother lives in a small coastal town where everyone does know everyone but to experience these acts of care and unselfishness and practical help has been overwhelming. Even as I write this now, a bloke has rocked up this morning and is currently servicing my car, saying that he knows I'll be putting the kms on it over the next few weeks and months and he wanted to ensure my car was good to go. Has refused payment except for a cold drink and a piece of Boston bun. My job used to expose me to the worse of human nature, To receive all this kindness has blown us all away, so I just wanted to shout out my thanks to all those kind souls out there, doing lovely stuff for others day after day, thanks so much for making my families life easier, during this difficult time I s was hoping that posters may also share their stories of being on the receiving end of kindness. A positive forum :-)

Comments

Twisted_Mister

9 years ago

That's A grade stuff right there. Well done to all those people, really well done. I hope to Christ I get half that help should I be in a similar situation. I find that people are generally better than we give them credit for - ChiChi's situation proves the point. - Posted from rhpmobile

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scubaboy69

9 years ago

Stunned... call if you need... anytime

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RHP User

9 years ago

What a wonderful post. I hope your brother makes a full recovery soon. You are blessed to have these people in your life. When I was out of work I told my landlord I could no longer afford the rent and we would have to move out. He got back to me and said him and his wife wanted us to stay and would let us live here for what I could afford. I cried that day. There are some special people in this world. We are lucky that we live amongst them xxx

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Mischeviouslad

9 years ago

thank you for sharing such a detailed and difficult subject. I had a similar thing happen to a cousin at the end of January and I realise now how I didn't fully appreciate the strong bond and network my cousins hold together. All I can offer are positive thoughts and my best wishes for your brother, and also your family.... and to you in working through this. ((((((hugs)))))) DG - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

Sad but wonderful post. I miss that community side of things that existed when I was a kid in the sticks. The beauty of smaller towns and precisely why I need to get away from the city mentality. Kindness can come from out of nowhere and from the places you least expect at times. Many years ago we had a breakdown in the family car close to midnight on our way home, we were miles from it and a gentleman came out from his house and not only did he give us fuel from his personal bowser he even offered us tea and a room for the night. As we lived out bush we had also done the same for those in need. Well ChiChi I hope your bro gets all he needs to get through his ordeal.

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RHP User

9 years ago

What a wonderful post. My son now 27 had a brain tumour when he was 12. We spent many weeks in hospital whilst he was being treated. We too had the same wonderful things done for us. Food in the fridge, house cleaned even our bills were paid. All this from the families of his classmates. I was so thankful for these wonderful people in our lives. I wish you all the best for your brother, I am sure with lots of love and support he will get through this. Lots of hugs xxx. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

Tears of happiness reading your post ,just love the Australian way All the best to your brother in a speedie recovery N&M

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RHP User

9 years ago

I have witnessed bravery and a very selfless act or risking his life for ppl he did not know,this person is my husband,he was just awarded the highest bravery award from our Australian government for saving the lives of 12 ppl in a single act,swam threw flood waters in the hunter in 2007 he is very humble of his actions tho I was there the night he swam out time after time to rescue ppl from all walks of life including breaking a car window to save to very little boys aged 2yrs and 1 being 8 months old as the car was swirling in water and the mother only just able to swim he managed to save the boys while holding his own head above water,,,,chichi I wish your family our best and hope he comes home soon xxx

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RHP User

9 years ago

I was sending family members off to their journey at SYD International Airport and I sat down in front of the glass walkway overlooking the food court to give them a last goodbye wave through the glass panel (there is that section where people can sit and stare at the traffic post security) . A man (40+) was seated next to me and he started chatting me up - no sinister intentions, we just chatted...2 strangers...just chatting time away in a public area..he told me about his flight he just had, his plans for his stay in SYD, he said he was moved how touching that gesture it was that I waited for them over there..a total stranger...I didn't even ask for his name - neither did he ask for mine...

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RHP User

9 years ago

That is so sad and yet so inspiring.....I hope your brother makes a full recovery soon ..hugs xxFreya

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RHP User

9 years ago

Thanks for sharing. We wish you and your brother all the very best xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

I got a few particles of dust in my eyes..

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RHP User

9 years ago

What a wonderfull / sad story . I've had a few experiences where complete strangers have shown kindness . I won't elaborate because I don't want to take away from the serious nature of your brothers injuries. But I can say it really is like having a guardian angels in your corner. I often find myself looking out for the elderly and happy to say rewarding the few times I got to help out. Good luck to both you and a speedy recovery for your brother.

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RHP User

9 years ago

as I don't have Instant Posting but I just wanted to say a big thank you for all the lovely messages of support, both publicly and privately from here, to me, regarding my brothers situation As I've stated previously, both myself and my family have been completely overwhelmed by all the kindness that friends, and total strangers are showing us. So unexpected and so lovely to receive. I kinda of thought we were all alone with this, we have since found out in the last week, we are far from alone and there are terrific people out there, only too ready to help in ways we didn't even anticipate, so again thank you so much for all that you have done. I will remember to play it forward Thank you also for sharing your stories of kindness and gratitude. Re my bro, well his far from out of the woods yet. His still in the ICU, and is still heavily sedated after three surgeries, 2 surgeries to insert screws and 8 rods into his spine at the lumbar area to better support his vertebrae at L1-3 and give his spinal cord more stability. He has fractures to his ribs, sternum, neck, thoracic and lumbar spine. He is intubated as he has one collapsed lung and one punctured lung and he has a bruised heart. His also had surgery on his right arm which was completely smashed (they have inserted two plates, a rod and numerous screws into it) More surgery is also needed but his chest injuries are preventing anymore at the moment. To date he hasn't moved his legs which is of course our main concern. They did a CT on him today to see if the spinal rods were in place ok . During the CT it was discovered there was a mass just on his liver. Instant panic, because the doctors thought it was a blood clot. An emergency biopsy revealed it was a benign mass (of which we still raised our eyebrows) . He is also fighting a infection which the doctors believe is post op and this is of concern. So his keeping us worried. He hates the intubation but Doctors aren't prepared to remove it yet, due to his chest injuries. But again thank you for your lovely thoughts and prayers. I'm sure he will get there. His wife has been nothing but grace and dignity under pressure, in complete awe of her. Summer, I am so sorry to hear that your condition has no immediate solution, perhaps in the future ? but isn't it wonderful how friends just step up ? I hope you are feeling well. Again thanks so much and good health to you all M

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RHP User

9 years ago

..... taking pleasure in being great humans .....

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PurePeony

9 years ago

Chichi, I really pray that your brother will recover slowly but surely. The recovery and Rehab process will be slow and at times, tedious, but never ever give up! He will need a lot of support and encouragement from all of you but the love and unity of his family will keep him going. I also pray that you will be able to find a good job real soon. I migrated to Australia alone nine years ago and have since become a citizen. When you are all alone and bad things happen, eg. bullying in the workplace, sickness, threat of closure of workplace, etc. it can pretty much wreck you. I remember when I received a shocking diagnosis from a Specialist Clinic one day, I was so numb with shock and denial that the only thing I wanted to do when I stepped out of the clinic was head to the IMAX theatre and treat myself to Jurassic World in 3D, the best luxury seat, thank you very much! I'm very strong and courageous but facing everything alone does wear you down eventually. When I met a friend the next day, (bless his heart, he is a truly wonderful and caring guy!) he casually asked, "Are you ok? I feel there's something bothering you." That soft tone in his voice, that concerned look in his eyes, his patient demeanour... that was all it took before my floodgate of tears was released. He hugged me very tightly and cried with me and I no longer felt alone for that little while. For years, I have hid my illnesses from my friends and sometimes, people do not understand why I live my life the way I do. Recently, I decided to take the brave step of letting a few important peeps know what is truly happening and I have been amazed and touched by their response. I was hoping I will not be ostracised. Instead, I received so much love and care and support from all my buddies, it's been amazing! I do not like to burden anyone and I'm the sort who will retreat to my own little corner to lick my wounds alone, but my friends have rallied around me and have been very understanding and supportive. I could not have come this far without them! Their love helped to chase the dark, brooding and very dangerous thoughts away and reminded me that there is hope yet! And that is why, no matter how much I am attracted to a man, the minute I sense he is pitting me against other eligible women that he is dating concurrently, I back out. I have no strength nor inclination to play this sort of games. Let all the other women cat-fight over him or let him run rings around the roses but count me out. The battles I face are so massive that a friend of mine in the medical profession had tears in her eyes when I shared with her because she knew how massive and impossible my battles have been and continue to be. I look "normal" in every way because I am a fighter and I refuse to be consumed by my illnesses. Every single day is a challenge for me. Yet, I put up a brave fight because I know that I no longer fight alone.

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RHP User

9 years ago

Your brother and his family must be wonderful people who are truly valued by their community. I can imagine your world must be exhausting and scary and new. I find you get what you give- people can be so beautiful if you are open and a contributing part of a community. I won't go into my story... Still not too comfortable rehashing it- but without the kindness of the community I live in and my family's friends I don't know where I would be. Now I put money in people's parking metres and volunteer regularly because I feel I owe humanity so much. Best wishes and vibes to you all Xxviolet

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OzRednecks

9 years ago

There is good in the world. Need more of the good stuff. Best wishes for your bro.

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RHP User

9 years ago

Best wishes to you and your family, for your brother's recovery x

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RHP User

9 years ago

That is the joy of a small community , most have helped each other over the years and they like to give back. hope all goes well with your brother.

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PurePeony

9 years ago

How are you? Any updates on your brother?

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RHP User

9 years ago

I didn't want to bore everyone stupid but some good news On Sunday his incubation tube was finally removed of which he was very glad of. His whispering and has indicated he is hungry (his lost a lot of weight), so his been given something which slightly resembles custard and he has scoffed it. He still has a drain in his left lung, and his still coughing up a lot of muck and he is very tired and emotional. He doesn't remember the accident but has definite memories of the last two weeks of treatment and he gets quite upset about what he perceives his putting his family through and the lack of strength is body is showing (he was very very fit but I don't think he realizes how much his fitness has contributed to him getting as far as he has) . My SIL has been bloody amazing. Nothing but positivity He was moved out of ICU yesterday and his right arm which took a real beating appears to mending nicely and his broken ribs and chest injuries seem to be healing well However he still has not moved his legs nor does he have any feeling. He thinks he can feel things but according to the Drs that is not the case. His spine and neck is still swollen from the accident and subsequent surgery, so all in all we have been told its a waiting game to see what the endgame will be. People are still rallying around and helping out in the most unexpected ways and we are so grateful for all the areas of support the whole family is receiving. Thanks again for asking Peony, the kindness of strangers :-)

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The Kindness of Strangers

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