F53

The 'L' Word

October 05 2013

When I love, I give my all and I'm not afraid to tell the person my true feelings even if I know they do not love me in return. In my eyes, to have that little bit of hope that maybe they will one day change and feel it too is so worth it. I don't believe in wasting precious moments when I'm sure of my feelings. Of course, it has blown in my face before, but I've got to be the most stubborn fool for love cos I will not change who I am. So I pose a few questions to you all - 1. Do you feel that the 'L' word is sometimes so overused that it loses its true meaning and shine?2. Are you like me and give your heart freely to anyone with whom you feel a strong sense of connection, caring and belonging, because you don't want to lose a single moment of not letting them know how you feel and maybe waste that time you could be spending together if they feel the same way? What if they don't feel the same way? Would you just give up and move on or would you hold on to that hope? 3. Have you ever said the 'L' word to someone because you thought it's what they wanted to hear? 4. If you are afraid to use the 'L' word, what are your reasons? 5. How well/long do you think you should know a person before you would say those three words? And now to the bonus question If you thought you lost your love, would you do everything in your power to get them back or would you respect their wishes and let them walk away without putting up a fight? Thanks for reading. I look forward to some interesting responses.

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RHP User

11 years ago

while I do admire you for wearing your heart on your sleeve & think you are so brave, it's not something I have ever really been able to do. 1. the 'L' word can be overused, but so can many other words. when it's said with sincerity & from the heart you can feel & hear the difference. when it is just thrown out there, it sounds hollow. I don't think you can just hear the word & take it at face value, it's the emotion behind the word that gives the true meaning & intention. 2. no, my heart has always been guarded & never given away freely. only a very few have touched it & had me lower my guard to let them in. I would of course prefer not to be like this but circumstances shape you, nature vs nurture, I am who I am. I don't believe I have missed any opportunities, any worth hanging around for anyway & no, I wouldn't wait around for somebody with the hope they changed their minds. that does show such bravery in being so openly vulnerable & I applaud you if you can do this, it's not something I can even begin to imagine though. 3. No 4. Not afraid as such. Wary would be the more appropriate word for myself I think. As mentioned above, I am the way I am for reasons, doesn't make me cold or a hard person, I just take that little longer & tend to hold people at arm's length for a while. 5. I don't think there is a time limit that would be a standard. People know when the time is right for them. This last question literally had my heart in my throat at just the thought of losing the one I love. I had thought I was the type of person who would respect somebody's decision & let them go if they chose to leave. This sudden reaction I had though, has made me see that now I have found the one who I have given my whole heart to, I would fight with all of my power to never let this love or person go. I am honestly cringing a little as I write that because to me it seems so selfish, but maybe that's the vulnerability coming out that I have never shown before? mrs funky

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RHP User

11 years ago

For some, feelings of Love are aligned with feelings of infatuation to the degree where one can be "In love with being in love?".Loving another is perhaps: Loving them for all they are AND all they are not..It may take some time to know "all about another" so you can be all loving in all ways, without conditions.

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RHP User

11 years ago

1- yes it's used to freely n doesn't carry the depth of heart when said, actions speak louder anyway. 2- this is why I get used n crushed as I'm to easy n give all I can. 3 yes 4- no 5- there is no set time in saying the words that carry so much meaning within the magic of 3 words. Eitherway those words MUST come from the heart n never just a passion thought. 6 when I lost mine I bent over backwards for her n she was happy to except that infill I found out she was only using my skills to better her life I stopped but as I started see other lady's All of a sudden she wanted to work it out (almost like she didn't want to loose) Your lost sounds like ur having partner issues so ill wish u best of luck if u r.

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RHP User

11 years ago

I don't love often, but I love gorgeously when I do. I love big, and openly, and with real joy and passion. My husband and I had an agreement that we understood people could fall out of love but we would both do everything we could to make it work before we walked away, and so we did. And now we love each other as much as ever now, but as friends. I'm super proud of both of us for that. When my last relationship ended I made a complete and utter fool of myself fighting to save it. In many respects it wasn't a conscious choice, I just felt compelled, but I probably wouldn't do that again. I'd make it clear how I felt but I'd retain my dignity and show respect for their wishes. So in answer to your questions, yes, no, no, not applicable, varies, mostly but with caution. Life's better when it's full of love, so I believe it's worth fighting for.

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RHP User

11 years ago

Hey tulips4u, IMO the 3 words I love you can be a little awkward, especially if it is used as a statement & left hanging for a response. (In the past) I have used it, and like to hear it as part of a bigger expression in a conversative nature, like when saying goodbye "I love you, & hope you have a great day" or in bed "you are one sexy woman, & I love you for it". It's easier to receive and there is easier to reply to. As for how long to wait before using it? Depends. My next door neighbour met his wife at a party 20 years ago, and moved in with her the following day! I imagine they used it pretty early in the picture. :-)- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

11 years ago

The "L" word to me is such a powerful word to use and i do think people use it way too much. But i do agree with the comments of funkyperthbicpl it means little in a text but if you here it from a persons mouth you will sense the emotion behind the word.And i think its the emotion and feeling in the word that is the true indicator of love. But as a male i know i do not use the word when i should and it is a work in progress for me Lol. Will post more later when ive had a think. Thanks for the subject OP oh and i LOVE your profile pic.

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RHP User

11 years ago

quite often in like but rarely in love.Do I think that LOVE is a much overused word?Absolutely,''Love is not love which alters,when it alteration finds'' Shakespeare said.Surely Ms Tulips you can spend time with people without you always being ''in love''?...but perhaps you are addicted to the heady rush of chemicals when reeling from excitement of a new lover?Because that is exactly what it is,a rush,a fire.Lots and lots of sticky strings.My heart is guarded,it's true,but that is because it has been shattered and I still haven't found the right glue.

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RHP User

11 years ago

I use the words "Like" and Lub"..For me to "love" someone, I have to be "in-love" with them.It is over used for sure.Everyone I am with has a little piece of me and my heart.One day I hope I get to experience that feeling of "being in-love and unconditional love"Yet to discover it.FOXY

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RHP User

11 years ago

Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself and for them. If you try too hard to make them stay it can drive them away even faster. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...Love is like a fart, if you try and force it, it's probably shit Also, it is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it - its been said that satisfaction is the death of desire.On the other hand, if you don't fight for what you love then what's the point in living.

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RHP User

11 years ago

I think I lub you......nicely said!FOXY

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RHP User

11 years ago

Quoting 'Incredulous' Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself and for them. If you try too hard to make them stay it can drive them away even faster. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...Love is like a fart, if you try and force it, it's probably shit Also, it is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it - its been said that satisfaction is the death of desire.On the other hand, if you don't fight for what you love then what's the point in living. I'd have to agree with most of these sentiments ... I'm sure there is an appropriate red wine anecdote ? was the word fart around in Bill's era ? ... surprised he didn't make more use of it.As all love is something you feel or give and 'true love' is unconditional ... it stands to reason that love given on the condition of reciprocity is not 'true love' ? I don't think you can choose to not love somebody ... so long as you feel it you should be indefatigable in its pursuit lest you do yourself an injusticeMy bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.Satisfaction cannot extinguish an infinite desire ... Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.Follow your heart Tulips ... Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time, it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

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RHP User

11 years ago

Thank you for all your responses and time. You've all been a greatt help on the subject. I should clarify that I only give my heart freely and openly to people I feel a deep caring and emotional connection with. And in my life, I have only found 2 souls worthy of my heart. However, the first person I gave my heart to took it, used it and crushed it. It took me some time to get over but I did.The second time round, I had my heart guarded and I exerted much caution but somehow he sneaked up behind me and I fell and fell hard! He was and is, however, still fresh and raw from a previous relationship hence we hit the bumps and dips. But, I know he cares for me greatly and that, alone, I could live off. It will take much time but we will sort this out, as I am patient and I hope to one day hear those 3 sweet and most beautiful words from his lips @'D' - I am very much indefatigable in my pursuit for love and I will follow my heart. Thank you Quoting 'IndefatigableMe'As all love is something you feel or give and 'true love' is unconditional ... it stands to reason that love given on the condition of reciprocity is not 'true love' ? I don't think you can choose to not love somebody ... so long as you feel it you should be indefatigable in its pursuit lest you do yourself an injusticeFollow your heart Tulips ... Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time, it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Live with no regrets - Great advice And thank you Incredulous, you had me thinking also and it was a toughie Quoting 'Incredulous' Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself and for them. If you try too hard to make them stay it can drive them away even faster. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...Love is like a fart, if you try and force it, it's probably shit Also, it is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it - its been said that satisfaction is the death of desire.On the other hand, if you don't fight for what you love then what's the point in living.

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RHP User

11 years ago

Is there anyway of getting my old user name back?? My profile got so many views after that comment haha I do think the word gets used too much - I love that sweater - I love watching Hot Seat - I love it when the bus hits a puddle and drenches a pedestrian - etc I think if you mean it, say it - if they don't say it back, who cares? Actions speak louder than words. I rarely tell my mum that I love her, but she knows I do. It's just not a word that rolls easily off the tongue for some guys. And yeah that bit about it being possible that longing for something is better than actually having it - its been said that satisfaction is the death of desire - is from Californication (Season 3, Ep2), it's a good quote.

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RHP User

11 years ago

I think when I start feeling the lovin..it is a great thing.. Am I guarded in anyway..i don't think so..i always go with it..enjoy it and embrace it.. I think the important thing is to enjoy it while you have it..no regrets..

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The 'L' Word

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