'The Talk'

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Hi Kitty,   These type of questions are good because others can only give limited responses.   I can only go on what you've written about yourself....and it sounds like you are not vanilla or not the settling down type to have a family and commit to just one person. We are all different and you've kind of explained who you are in your write up. When finding someone you're trying to find a match so if this guy is 'the normal' it may be difficult.   I know a woman who stays single because she prefers it. Drives a small sportscar...independent...very attractive...likes the party scene...into men and women and can't have sex or a relationship with just one guy. She is just being herself.   All you can do is be yourself and at the same time be honest with others so you don't hurt anyone.   xo

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  great answer from enigma. All I can add, is nobody needs to know absolutely everything about you.We all deserve to have some privacy,however if you want to have an ongoing relationship with this man then you need to talk about your sexuality and the potential direction your relationship is going in.You do need to find out if he is accepting of including a third person in your sexual equasion or if he is ok with you having female lovers as well as him If he is appalled at any of this then perhaps he is not the right man for you. Or if you really want an exlusive relationship with him,then perhaps he will be enough.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Thanks for your input, Enigma & Freya - I intend to address the issue of my past sexual history with him soon to see how he reacts to it, but until then the idea of any future liaisons is mere puffery.And Mischeviouslad - I fully agree with the 'not settling' part - if one partner is not satisfied, it essentially is not just their problem, but the problem of both partners.My most pressing question is yet to be addressed however --> do people think that Real World men are threatened by women who have had more extensive sexual experiences and have stronger sexual cravings than the 'average' (or in denial/supressed) Real World woman? This was the case with my first (and only) boyfriend, who claimed that I was 'too demanding' in bed. I think here on RHP we surround ourselves in a bubble such that we're used to each others' prodigious appetites for sex and don't bat an eyelid.

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  Paradisepair

  12 years ago

  Hope it's a fun and interesting ride. I think if a man is sizing up a new partner it could be intimidating when if they weren't and you were just a girl they knew it would be different. Titillating even. It's ok to be or look sexy but being a genuinely sexually positive woman is still very taboo culturally. But that's only because of people who are judgemental or fearful of what others think.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  yes I absolutely do think that men can be threatened by a woman whose sexual experience is numerically and experencially more diverse than theirs,or depending on how secure they are in themselves, they can be intrigued by it. It all depends on the man.When I first joined RHP I met a man whose sexual experience was very limited and even though I didn't say very much about my sexual experiences he felt uncomfortable and would bring up the subject on a regular basis. If this man is confident and secure it shouldn't matter,if he isn't it will,but you would not want to be with a man like that anyway I imagine.Good luck AM,I hope it all goes well for you x R

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  People in the real world don't lie about their age as much as people on RHP

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  It is probably very different for everyone as to what they can be happy with long term. I did some swinging (well maybe a lot) in my early twenties and then at 28 met the woman I would marry a few years later and then divorce, 12 years together and it was completely vanilla and I can honestly say that I was happy. It was because I loved her and that was enough. Now divorced and having a look around, the mere possibility of meeting someone as open and experimental and sexual and sensual and kinky as myself leaves me feeling that that is someone I want to find. To share it all with them! Would I go back to a long term vanilla relationship? I have no idea really, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and that is enough :). Best of luck

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