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FunwithSandS

FunwithSandS

M51 F52

The art of retiring gracefully as a single man

August 22 2021

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Hi all, We’ve been looking for single men for play with MrsFun for a little while now. I’m noticing (as the vetter for MrsFun) that what she says is true! Call me naive, and I probably am, but the art of retiring gracefully is certainly dying. A few of the guys I’ve chatted with have not quite worked out, for one reason or another. That happens, of course, but it’s the persistence when it’s been made obvious that shocks. It’s an eye opener for me, as a man, to see what you ladies clearly experience. So, what’s the solution? How do we, as men, relearn the art of retiring gracefully (and it is an art)? What’s the best etiquette to follow, for all single men on RHP? What should couples look out for/be mindful of? So many questions lol. Excuse the mind dump and fire away

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Comments

  • countrytouch82

    countrytouch82

    3 years ago

    Ok so I thought it was about elderly retirement as a single at first :) (which one might have to think about really planning for). But it seems to be about "retiring" from continued attempts at individual specific connections and conversations when you have already been knocked back? In other words, exercising some humbleness or humility, which will hopefully translate to other areas of life. I don't know, perhaps the lack of humility reflects on all the pressure to succeed in life and to keep pushing and striving for what you want, and ignore setbacks and negative outcomes. The concept of not taking no as an answer. The problem is when your goal is a person or persons, it's not the same, as they are living vulnerable creatures, not a sales target, financial investment, or a job opportunity. Hope I'm in the ballpark for a suitable answer...

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  • Kokoflamingo

    Kokoflamingo

    3 years ago

    Its not just single men, couples can be just as rudely persistent. I had one couple who kept messaging me to tell me they could turn straight me bi, demanding that I go and stay over with them one night to prove them right, it was really rude behaviour. I think being on these sites gives some people an online personna that is more confident and assertive and they dont like it when they are ( politely ) told No thanks. Fortunately these people are in the minority, but it doesnt excuse their behaviour. How to relearn? I dont think they can. The block button is the best option.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Try the data entry method...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    I don’t think it’s a case of learning to retire gracefully, I think it’s more a case of men learning to park their ego and take a polite no further an answer. If anything needs to be relearned it’s basic manners. Just because we are all here for the same thing is no reason to leave your manners at the door. Manners cost nothing

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    3 years ago

    I assume you mean accepting rejection and walking away…. It’s quite easy for me when it comes to hearing no you’re not what I’m looking for….it’s the acceptance that I too have rejected people for some reason or another and expected them to respect that it’s not personal …. To me it’s no different to food….some people love lasagne and some people don’t so trying to make someone who doesn’t like lasagne to like lasagne is never going to work….you just look like a dick… I hope I’ve answered the question you were actually asking

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  • countrytouch82

    countrytouch82

    3 years ago

    As a single man, if you're talking about seeking single women as opposed to couples, people assume there is something 'wrong' with your approach if you're still single at a certain age. When in fact you may actually apparently been doing the 'right' thing in accepting rejections with respect and finality. So perhaps it ends up with some people becoming disrespectful and trying to turn a no into a yes, against someone else's wishes.

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  • SpicyKale

    SpicyKale

    3 years ago

    As a few others have said it’s probably more about fragile egos than retiring gracefully. Some guys have been taught from a very young age to never take no for an answer, in the playground, at school, in business and unfortunately in relationships. It’s a society wide issue that’s by no means limited to online dating. Yes, as Koko mentioned we’ve had it happen with couples and singles, but I doubt it’s ever been the female half of the couple doing the pressuring! One in particular I’m remembering had very unrealistic expectations on how RHP worked. It was very much online the lines of, you’re on here, so let’s do it…. now! The male of that couple would have sent over forty messages from a number of profiles over a six month time frame! I doubt you’re going to change the attitudes of guys that have behaved this way their entire lives, it’s toxic masculinity at its worst 😳

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    3 years ago

    The answer is simple. You can not control what other people do. You can only control yourself. You have 3 options. 1) Ignore 2) Block 3) Report You know exactly what to do. Ms Foxy PS Its not just single men. Please don't tar them. You're only seeing it through your eyes only. Couples can be just as rude and even more smug. So can single women. I've seen first hand messages from single males, who have received persistent messages from couples and single women.

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  • 2EssesExploring

    2EssesExploring

    3 years ago

    No means No It’s pretty simple guys! Also “we will contact you if we want to meet” means either No or we will contact you if we want to meet. Is it that hard?

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  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    3 years ago

    This is my personal view. Most men separate women into two categories. Good girls and bad girls. In the mind of these men women on rhp are bad girls. Therefore they think they can say whatever they want, because you're a bad girl. I must say the majority of men are polite to me when I give a refusal but 90% of the time, I give a polite refusal.

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  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    3 years ago

    Sorry I realised I didn't really answer your question. Request a coffee before hand in daylight hours. For the three of you to meet. Men worth your time will turn up.

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  • Mrs_Deep_Love

    Mrs_Deep_Love

    3 years ago

    I think advice to other men on how to 'retire gracefully' is best served up by good men who know the right way to do things.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Trust your gut, dodge a bullet, move on. You can't change how people react towards you, but you choose how you react towards them.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Ohhh c’mon!!! I’ve got the biggest, cleanest, hardest one ever. It go’s for hours and is guaranteed to raise a smile. Please, please please???

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  • pieadventures

    pieadventures

    3 years ago

    I believe it is values driven and unfortunately values are immune to information and evidence, so can only be shifted by someone self-reflecting, questioning and then choosing to shift their own value, hopefully based on balanced feedback and good information. Values are also on a continuum that can cause conflict. For example I am stubborn (or determined) at one end of the continuum and flexible (adaptable) at the other, but knowing when to go with one of the other is the art form. I figure respecting and reading the person/couple you’re interacting with versus persistence and selling yourself cause the conflict in this scenario. You also just get people that have the emotional intelligence of a brick with an entitled attitude, that the only reflection they do is in a mirror. They’re pretty much a write off!

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  • Player_J

    Player_J

    3 years ago

    I think above covers the wide range of opinions already. My contribution is more an example - quite a few months ago had a guy send me a long message based off a post i had made in the forums. Based on his profile not my type but as he wasn't pressing for a meet, politely repsonded a generic thanks and then went offline a few days. Came back online to lots of follow up messages that turned aggressive and even responding to my post in the forums. Basically saying i wasn't who i portrayed myself to be on the forums, wasn't who he thought i was, so disappointing etc. Etc that got ruder. Probably the most extreme and wierd version of a guy who didnt even get a no, but couldn't take a response that too long for their liking. All made off assumptions of how well he knew me off a post - he definitely needed to retire.

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  • RockingJoe69

    RockingJoe69

    3 years ago

    I’m a single man. I’m constantly getting rejected online and in reality from women. I have tried to take it in my stride but after a while it takes a toll on you as you are constantly rejected without a reason or honest answer to being rejected by people. You have to wonder what’s wrong with you and why aren’t you getting someone who would like to get to know you and be with you and like you for who you are rather than ignore you. After a while you just hoping to get someone to say yes to you and put the feelings of excitement and love into your heart. I like a girl right now and I want to express myself to her but I got told not to do it as she would leave her job and never want to be with me and not to do it because Someone I know already asked her about me. I wasn’t told this earlier and I never got a chance myself to tell her and ask her out. Now I find out from someone that she is going out with another guy. I want to express myself to her and ask her about what she thinks of me and if we can go out when she is single person. It’s someone who desires you makes you feel happy we all want it and getting rejected constantly has become like you are trash.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    To be honest we very rarely experience this.. The vast majority of guys accept the fact that there isn't mutual attraction, and move on.🤷‍♂️ ..perhaps its what you're saying..🤔

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    How can I get sum action without a subscription

    reply

  • Charlea

    Charlea

    3 years ago

    ah! it took me a short while to understand what the OP meant by the wording of the question. Please tell me if I don't have it right. You are concerned that some guys persist with the pursuit of the lady even after you have told them they are not suitable? I was thinking that you were meaning that there was an age at which single men should stop looking for fun on this or other sites! I was thinking that was a bit harsh on the older guys! hahaha But yes, if some no longer understand when it is the right time to quit the pursuit of the lady, then they need to reassess their knowledge and skills library. Bowing out gracefully is certainly an art or skill that men need to know and understand. These days, in the spirit of equal rights, we should also mention that it wouldn't hurt if women brushed up on those same skills just in case.

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