F47
The birds and bees do what now??!
December 16 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was beyond ignorant, when I was a child' my friends and I believed that babies came out of. The woman's belly button.There were some booklets my mum gave me about reproduction but the content was about chooks ..a bit puzzling 😳...When I was seventeen I had my first boyfriend ,his idea of. Sex. Was of. The wham bam variety it was only after I moved on to the next bf that I had my first orgasm,and not until my thirties that I taught myself to masturbate.. Xx Freya
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Mine was a little book that was thrust into my hand one morning before my parents went shopping one morning when i was 13ish? All it made me realise was, what the local priest was tryjng to achieve with me a couple of years before that. Just made my embassasment worse and made me withdrawn from girls. Too little, too late. Too damaged by then.
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RHP User
9 years ago
My first sex education was a movie, my rather embarrassed father took me to a movie night for the form 4's at my high school. Afterwards he just laughed and said he probably learn't more than I did, as I was the youngest of seven he may well have been right ! These days with the internet kids pretty much educate themselves on the mechanics or biology of it, it's the porn side that needs the education. I heard a short thing on the radio (JJJ) about educating young people about good sex but missed the source but it sounded like a really good idea, the gist of it was enjoying sex including some instruction on technique and enjoyment of a natural part of life and not guilt about it.My kids are 11 and 14 with a step daughter 17, the plan is, semi regular chats to keep the lines of communication open so they know that any questions they have can be asked and dealt with with truthfulness and discretion.
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sweetgem
9 years ago
I didn't get any education about sex or introduction to sex until I immigrated to Australia and was in year 9. Sex topic was a taboo back in the day where I came from and given my cultural background. Hence, I didn't know what a man and a woman could do to each other in the bedroom, let alone sex, until three years after I settled in in this beautiful country 😛 Although, we got taught a little bit about sex at school, it was minimum education received about it and so I didn't know much about sex. Apart from growing up in a conservative family, I also didn't have two parents at home in my growing up, which doubled up the lack of knowledge in that area. So, similar to you, I had to learn everything about relationship and/or sex the hard way in the beginning of my adult and sexual life, which I ended up getting myself hurt (physically and emotionally) several times. But thankfully I am a tough cookie, always strived to learn and improve as I grow. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yup, I thought babies popped out through the belly button haha 😁 and first period was huge shock and embarrassing, that traumatised me, never got over that in my youth, especially when I had a little book shoved at me and was sent off to read it, looked like there'd been a murder with the amount of blood, that sucked? It would have been nice to have an arm put around me, i was upset and scared, where was the affection? So I wanted my daughter to be filled in, knowledge is power as they say, so did the big talk with her. We laughed ourselves stupid, sex is really a funny act when you break it down. She was 10 at the time, my son had the internet and definitely wasn't about to talk to me about it, but I let him know he could if he needed to, it's about communicating with your kids. I was a muggle then and very vanilla, imagine the education I could give them now, holy smokes Batman 👌
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm going against the grain on this one (what, me? how shocking) They never taught me how to wipe my arse at school either, or the proper way to deal with red wine stains in the carpet... or the finer points of maritime law as it applies to salvage operations... Surely we don't have to have state mandated education for every single facet of our lives. I can see value in having some easily accessible "good sex guides" available as a free resource on the internet, and with appropriate styling so it is targeted at the right age group without being too dry and dusty. IMO a set of clickable Vine clips linking offsite or something that get posted as 'promoted' posts to facebook so they show up would reach more kids/young adults. But how much more of the school curriculum has to be removed in order to be filled with this stuff? Not everything in life needs to have a set number of hours in school. bah humbug, get off my lawn ;) If they want this added to school, make an optional class that happens at the same time as they have scripture/religion time set aside in public schools. You can go to scripture, or go to non-scripture where you could read a book, do your homework, or peruse the sex-ed material on display.
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RHP User
9 years ago
' where did I come from? ' an animated video shown to my brother and I when we were around 10.... Was pretty informative, touched on the yukky stuff, which is now the yummy stuff ... I have a great book that I use to help when I have done the ' talk ' ... Twice now, have to say much harder when it came to talking to our son..felt like I was intruding on his private life at first, but I wanted him to feel open to telling me or asking me anything, and told him so, nothin to be embarrassed about, all natural and exciting to learn about! The book is called 'sexuality' and covers female anatomy, male anatomy, and Intercourse over 3 different sections, helpful when starting with the basics... Recently found it and the dictionary under Miss 11's bed..... Time for the next chapter.....
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
I hope there is a happy smiley face, maybe with an open mouth, on the other side of those pants (skeleton face says don't go near me) Sorry, side tracked. Only sex education was the standard anatomy and banana trick at school, and discovering the old mans Playboy magazines under his bed. (Also got to be look out when I was too young at the cousins farm where my older brother, cousin and a couple of girls had it off in the treeline in a paddock, think they were 15 at the time). Apart from that still learning by experience. At this time of my life I am still getting a HANDle on it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's been in school for decades, in my time it was an out of hours event. If you leave kids to there own devices the state bill for pregnancy, abortion, Std treatment etc etcetera will go through the roof. Money and time well spent b
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RHP User
9 years ago
Schools spend quite a lot of time educating about and getting kids to do sport and exercise, and about health in general, do you also see that as unnecessary? Because I see sex and relationship education coming under that broader umbrella. Schools are largely about preparing kids for living successfully in society and whilst their primary focus should be the academic side of things, some of those other health and social issues are incredibly important to people's lives and to the functioning of society as a whole. Spending a bit of time educating kids about these issues can translate to huge savings in financial and non-financial societal costs down the track, hence why governments place such importance on physical activity in schools. Of course schools can't address everything but for things like health and sex which are so ubiquitous I think they do have an important role to play. Yes the internet does provide another potentially effective means of education for kids these days, but as we know the internet can be a minefield and I still think that at least initially kids need to be given guidance about where to go for good and reliable info, and how to discern the good from the bad. Particularly considering how widespread online porn is now. Some kids would be lucky and have parents or other caregivers that are willing and able to help with that, but many wouldn't. Schools are the best placed to reach the largest numbers of kids and to help those who don't have access to proper information and guidance via other means.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Where I work,it's incorporated into science and fortnightly personal development programs where oys and girls are separated so discussion can flow freely..information is power xxFreya
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Missb4u
9 years ago
I educated myself by trial and error and on the most part had a ball doing it. actually am still having a ball doing it. I don't recall any form of sex ed. We had some family planning thing in about 9 that I vaguely remember and I dropped the baby (a doll of course) With my kids we talk pretty freely about all kinds of things ranging from basic sex, the difference between a kink and a fetish and even revenge porn. with a 16 year old experiencing a first boyfriend I'm sure she will be exploring and want to make sure the lines are open and she knows how to get her birth control and takes care of her.
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
S_ontheloose, whilst I don't believe that schools should be responsible for everything that kids should be learning, I strongly believe in the importance of sex ed in our schools. When I first started teaching, I had a PDHPE class of 14-15 year olds, and the first topic I had to do with them with sexual reproduction and health. We did a brainstorm about what they knew about how to protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy, and one response was that if you "do it while you're standing up you can't get knocked up, because the cum can't swim up." There's is so much wrong with that idea that I initially thought the student was taking the piss, but sadly no. This year, I had a discussion with a guy who thought that everyone who had children had an STI. After a long and confusing discussion, we eventually figured out that he thought that if you had unprotected sex, you caught an STI - that it was the act of not wearing a condom that made STI's exist, so if you had unprotected sex to make a baby, you got one. My knowledge about sex came pretty much exclusively from a short series of sex workshops at my country town catholic school. If it weren't for them, I'd have perhaps been far more screwed up than I have been - and that'd be quite an achievement! So I'm very grateful for the awkward conversations the little old Religious Education teacher had with a bunch of uncomfortable teens. It's also why I'm more than happy to have "penis and vagina" conversations with both my students and my own kids. My youngest daughter will sometimes stop me before I answer a question and say "wait, if this is a penis conversation can you tell me later? I don't want to know right now!"
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' If they want this added to school, make an optional class that happens at the same time as they have scripture/religion time set aside in public schools. You can go to scripture, or go to non-scripture where you could read a book, do your homework, or peruse the sex-ed material on display. Sex ed - that is meaningful discussion sex, boundaries, respect, pleasure, fun and protection (of course) should be compulsory in schools. A lot of kids haven't got the opportunity to discuss these at home (either because they haven't got the family background, or it is "awkward" etc etc) therefore it has to be discussed at school. This has nothing to do with becoming toilet trained (by the way they do it at kindy nowadays) etc it is about facilitating a discussion about sex in the society. If teens are not given an opportunity to talk about sex amongst their peers with the support of an adult who is not related to them then how do we anticipate these teens to talk about sex to eachother when they get older and start exploring. If there is room for ethics and social studies etc...then there must be room for sex ed at schools- talk about relationships, talk about the health aspect of it, talk about "all good things and the bad things that may be - let'st talk about sex" gotta love that Salt"n"Peppa song :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I remember my nephew telling me that at High School back in Scotland they had to practise putting condoms on bananas........I found out via a school video aged 12 and through older students talking in the playground. I was severely chastised when a mother complained to mine that Id told her daughter that "riding isnt only a thing you do on horses". Being an only parent, I had to tell my son when he asked about the "sex talk". I told him about the importance of safe sex and that he had to respect any girl who shared her body with him. I also told him that sex is a great thing to be enjoyed, and that there was nothing shameful or dirty about it ( as we were led to believe in olden times). The only thing I didnt discuss with him were fetishes, he can find out about that soon enough, Im not pointing him in that direction. I think there should be more sex ed in schools, kids now are a lot more clued up and when you have 18 year olds on Redhotpie Id like to think they already know and appreciate the wonders and possibilities of a good sex life.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I know a lot of fellas who were taught about Sex by the parish Priest and OTHER Clergy...Of course.. they are a little "Fckd" up now.. but.. You know what I mean...
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
A wildly embarrassing one at that, with my mum. It incorporated everything... periods, boyfriends, sex. Far too much information in one hit, most of it missed as my mind was screaming "lalalala I can't hear you!" There were a couple of follow up conversations when she thought they were timed correctly; for the most part they weren't, but at least they happened. I've liked contradictory posts in here. I agree with S - in that these conversations should not be just be something that happens at school. Too many people expect too much from an education setting , where teachers are held accountable for educating their little darlings about everything - and yes I do know what I am talking about as I live with that issue every bloody day. Patchwork - yes you are right, there are many wild urban myths perpetuated by young people, which is very dangerous; I've heard similarly scary 'facts'. They have to be addressed by adults with the correct knowledge and with the appropriate connection to the young person. Thankfully you were the right person at that time :)) SYD - yes, being able to discuss sex ed and positive relationships with an adult other than a relation is important..... but actually not as important as the conversations they should be able to have with their relatives, who are with them far longer than a teacher is. Two quotes sum up my thoughts: "It is easier to build a strong child than repair broken men" Frederick Douglass We must "reweave the fabric of family and community" Dr Marian Wright Edelman Its time for family and community to be involved in the education of young people - not just the educators.
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RHP User
9 years ago
The girls were in other rooms so son and I had a chat while we did dishes. Was really good, few giggles and awkward questions like what's a dildo ? And what's it for ? It was really good, he asked good questions and wasn't silly about it at all. Nice one OP you triggered that. 😃
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RHP User
9 years ago
That made me cry,hugs to you and all the children this happened to xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'kissk' I've liked contradictory posts in here. I agree with S - in that these conversations should not be just be something that happens at school. Too many people expect too much from an education setting , where teachers are held accountable for educating their little darlings about everything - and yes I do know what I am talking about as I live with that issue every bloody day. Sex ed shouldn't just be in school....ideally kids' primary source of info and guidance would be their families or other caregivers and schools would supplement that. I also agree that too much is expected from schools and teachers these days. However, there are a lot of kids that go to school without even having any food...I just don't think it's realistic to expect that families who don't even provide the basic life necessities for their kids are going to be able to provide decent sex and relationship education. Even for the most loving, well meaning families sex can be a very difficult topic to talk about (my family is a great example of that) and depending on their level of knowledge they can unwittingly provide children with a lot of misinformation. So, I think that it is important for schools to provide some education on these topics to fill those gaps. As I mentioned above schools obviously can't educate about everything, but for some of these vitally important health and social issues I think some education in schools can translate to a number of long term benefits for both individuals and society.
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RHP User
9 years ago
That is awful. I am so sorry you had to endure that.
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Bazingal
9 years ago
The only discussions about anything sexual started and ended with "Don't do it". I was sweet 16 and never kissed. I educated myself. However now having kids I understand there's a delicate balance with how much information you give them and when. I want them to be prepared, but at their current ages don't think they are old enough to engage with others sexually. A while ago our dog humped a toy in front of us and they initially reacted in horror. I told them it was natural and felt good for the dog but he didn't understand to do it privately*. I don't want them to feel dirty or ashamed when they start exploring their own bodies. I have also had chats to my son re porn. Explained there's all sorts of types but that they're not all a reflection of how sex between real people is. I don't want him to think that he should mimic that or expect others to act that way (particularly porn where the women are just holes to stick cocks in) I just hope my kids know they can talk to me about anything when they're ready. *didn't want to introduce talk of exhibitionists at that stage 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
They never taught you to wipe your arse at school, shocking, however did you manage? 😁😁 they tried to get me to use my inside voice lol but as you can see here in the forum, that never worked 😯 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
my kids can't talk to me about sex, relationships, etc... It means I'm doing something wrong...I'm not setting the right environment for them to feel as though they can.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
No, it doesn't always mean that. Some children just don't want to talk to their parents about those sorts of things, no matter how open and approachable the parents are. That's not a failing on the part of the parents, and it's why there should be other options available for providing kids with decent sex ed.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I can't remember who taught me and when. I do know that when I got my first period at twelve, I knew what was happening and didn't panic. And of course there was my uncle's huge porn collection my niece showed me when I was about 11...
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tylannister
9 years ago
My dad first gave me the Sex Talk when I was about 12 on a long car drive. By that time I already knew the basics from sex ed at school (I think in year 5 or year 6) and books, but when my dad gave me the sex talk, it wound up with him going into great detail on the importance of pleasuring your partner, making sure she was well satisfied, and how to pleasure her - he went into great detail on how to go down on a woman. At the time, I was borderline horrified that he was having the discussion with me, but frankly, his advice served me well as I became sexually active later in life. What was even more scary, though, was that when he gave me the Condom Talk two years later when I was 14, he emphasized the importance of using condoms to keep from getting AIDS and other STDs as well as for birth control, he finished the talk by saying: "So, I can vouch for the importance of this because I just had a pregnancy scare with the woman I've been seeing." Mind you, this was while he was still married to his second wife. It was quite the segue into admitting to me that he'd been having an affair.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree...there should be an alternative to parents....but as a father, I like giving advice, talking to my kids about all of these life events, experiences etc....as you can tell, I feel quite rejected/emasculated if my kids would choose a complete stranger to discuss that stuff with....not that I'd ever tell them that.... My most memorable reply from my 13 year old so far has been:- "Yeah your right you know sometimes you can be a weirdo but sometimes you say really intelligent stuff so thank-you poohead" Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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lovman8
9 years ago
In a perfect world I think sex education should come from society as a whole.1) as a parent I think questions about sex from children should be answered simply and honestly when they arise with as little embarasment as you can manage.2) schools should have secular sex education focusing initially on the anatomy and science of sex ( mechanic of intercourse, pregnancy, STD's etc) before moving on to more philosphical and ethical discussion.3) (this one could get me shot down) parents should be natural about their sex life, neither hiding it from children nor thrusting it in their face.4) society as a whole should present sex as a "normal" part of life and not exploit it so much in advertising and porn Lovman has spoken seriously for a change.......mmmmm perhaps it's time I went into retirement???
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