T61

The bottom of the pile?

November 04 2013

I used to enjoy the old Yahoo private chat rooms, anyone remember them? They were taken down because they became home to so many fakes and bots that it was impossible to see who was real. But they did provide a great cross section of society as does RHP, and rather than lump you in a general basket you could find people more akin with your beliefs, views or leaning. One of the most challenging aspects were the straying off course, where to a great extent you suffered no or little verbal abuse if you kept within you profile, but if you strayed into other areas the abuse was almost demonic! As a TS I solely see life as a woman, not a guy in a frock, not a gay man, not a lesbian, my sexual orientation is my own and bares no relation to who I am. But you would think that those in the LGBT community would be accepting of that, alas no. Whilst the LGB community are focused on sexual orientation, to those who are T and especially, ts are focused on who they are, not what they do. Strangely, many within the LGBT community dislike, despise and are very vocal in doing so. None more so than lesbian women which I find extraordinary sad too. A real WOW moment so to speak. Politically the LGBT banner brings together a vast range of people but when it comes to the final "T" why are we the butt of everyone's abuse?

Comments

RHP User

11 years ago

Heterosexual sexual females and males find it very very difficult to understand. Gay men were the bottom of the pile, the butt of all jokes and persecuted for years. I try to understand but I do struggle with this one. Especially for the men that have been married. Had kids and then have the whole change to women! I just chalk it up to being their business not mine so I leave it. However, many people feel threatened by what they do not understand . When they feel threatened they tend to ridicule those that are different to themselves.- Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
him_and_me

11 years ago

I'm sorry, I have no experience in this area at all and can't offer any useful suggestions. But I'd like to offer you a hug. It sucks to be picked on. x Me- Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

Quoting 'him_and_me'I'm sorry, I have no experience in this area at all and can't offer any useful suggestions. But I'd like to offer you a hug. It sucks to be picked on. x Me- Posted from rhpmobile You are so sweet Mrs Me. Hugs to you too. Christiets, I have heard similar complaints from within the LGTBIQ community, that while LGTBIQ is an umbrella term to group widely diverse people, the diversity within each sub-group (sorry, that's the best descriptive term I can come up with) is still vast with difference of opinion, philosophy, and in house biases for and against other members of the LGTBIQ community. What I don't get is how the general public have standoffish attitudes and lack of compassion and understanding towards gender diverse people (again, sorry for using descriptive labels), yet in the safety from behind their TV screen, they will lap up Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and the likes. There are a dozen of those movies that have made mainstream popularity and been big hits. I don't get it. Its a bit off topic, but the reality is that the majority of people wont get to meet a transgender person in real life, nor gain insight into their lives, so as far as accessible general cinema goes, I found "Transamerica" to be a sensitive & heartfelt illustration of the life of a transgender woman, with wonderful insight into the humanity of its main character & her dignity. If anyone is interested in widening their persectives, I highly recommend it. Hugs to you Christiets. I hope a bit more solidarity and support starts developing where it is needed, and again, apologies for falling back on labels to describe groups. It irks me a bit, because people are people as far as I am concerned. I also don't know any transgender people personally, so I am looking from the outside in, but know my heart is in the right place.

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

Handmaiden, I understand why you would have such an issue with those who are fathers or husbands wanting to change, but the truth is many in their position do everything they can to fight the situation, to conform or just try to handle it in the best way they can. Cominog from an era and a culture where few could assist and there was little or no information to be had, per Internet, you learnt to conform. Very few managed to survive as the suicide rates for ts are amongst the highest known in the western world. Many take very macho roles serving in the forces, believing its a side of their character they can overcome. I know this. They marry, they raise family and they try more than any people I have ever met, but it's always to no avail, you cannot suppress your self, your identity. The ts? In essence they generally Lose up to ten years of life before they can establish themselves once more, a fact I was told by my doctor. They lose family, friends, careers, love, dignity, social standing, respect, invite ridicule and condemnation. They do not choose this life as a lifestyle choice.

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

But I do know its real. Where I worked there was a bi woman in a relationship with a transgender woman and there was quite a bit of "wtf" from members of the lesbian community. By the same token, the bi woman was pretty quick to judge a lesbian woman who described herself as a boi. In that same workplace, we hosted annual presentations by an intersex person in order to develop greater community acceptance and understanding and especially among human service workers. I have philosophised for years about society having a totem pole mentality and in every sub-culture there is a totem pole with someone at the bottom. I hope it improves and there is greater acceptance of transgender people. Perhaps more community education would help. There is an International Transgender Day of Visibility which started in Michigan in 2009. I had certainly not heard of that when I was working in my old job but had heard of Transgender Day of Remembrance which is coming up on the 20th of this month. Unrushed, that movie sounds very interesting and I will have a look out for it. It sounds like it could form the basis of a community education presentation. Christiets, I don't really know what to say to you except I abhor this type of marginalisation and I hope you find people who love you and accept you and who stand beside you both privately and publicly. warm regards WS

reply

like
Mr_MrsAraps

11 years ago

Quoting 'him_and_me' I'm sorry, I have no experience in this area at all and can't offer any useful suggestions. But I'd like to offer you a hug. It sucks to be picked on. x Me- Posted from rhpmobile Christiets, Am the same in that its a topic I know very little about. Here's hoping people understanding and acceptance change over time. Hell if ACT can finally pass legislation compared to 20 years ago when people were in the closet then change is possible.Hugs,W.

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

I don't understand why transsexuals are part of the pile at all. As you say it's nothing to do with your sexually orientation... So why would you part of the LGB group? And transvestites ... Isn't that more of a fetish rather than a sexual orientation?? As for bullying, unfortunately some people who have known bullying or this hardships are the first to point it at someone else at the first opportunity. Don't know why they would be demonic about it? People are weird, that's all I can say.

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

Why are people talking about it like it's the same? A person was born in the wrong body, the wrong twist of the Y chromosome if you like ... That's nothing like being gay or someone's sexual orientation. And why do people find that hard to understand? You accept people who were born with other conditions without apparent difficulty??

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

Juicy... Erotic... Titilating... It's a chance for everyone else to feel good about themselves... Like all good gossip does... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

ChristineTS . I left home at a very young age. Had some horrible experiences, joined the Defence Force. Tried to fit-in (DIDN'T). Worked various jobs, started a degree, but had to leave because of open discrimination. When I finally started my Transition, the main source of support & love in life, my beautiful mum, had so much family pressure & stress she pulled the pin. Yes the LGB community can be very harsh towards T/S people, unfortunately very few people know about or understand 'Gender Dysphoria'. My Sexuality is my business, as is what's between my legs, pre-op or post-op, what does it matter. As you would know Christine, Anti-Androgens, like Androcur are sort of like having SRS before you actually do. I'm pretty tired of being asked if I've had the OP yet. Oh, That Holy Grail 'SRS', very expensive scar-tissue !!!

reply

like
him_and_me

11 years ago

Would the gender X option that's just been introduced in Germany do anything to help?

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

As Kermit once said, "it's not easy being green" I know how he feels, it's long been an annoyance of mine as you say Meeka, we should not be lumped in with the LBG community because it's not orientation but identity that's at issue. Btw, the ACT legislation purposely omitted transfer couples from the new marriage bill, so why bother being part of something that discriminates when it sees fit to do so? I am lucky, actually I feel quite blessed, at 5'3 and a size 14 I fly under the radar, I work as a woman and haved lived in the community for a number of years as a woman, as such I am accepted as a woman. I am blessed because I live in stealth mode the I truly see life from both perspectives, how many people can truly experience that? It's sad that discrimination exists but sadder still that it exists in LGBT communities itself. I am marginalized as a woman, not as a ts. Such irony is not lost.

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

A beautiful thing said here recently ((not sure if it was by you): A transgender person is not a man with a mental problem, it's a woman with a physical one. (Or the other way around of course).

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

Dear him and me, gender x is used on passports for indeterminate sex, I have an NZ passport and they use an X where gender is usually seen as M or F, problem is of course your boarding pass is never given a title, Ms, Mrs or Mr, just left blank and even worse your passport is ALWAYS challenged as I can contest to at least a dozen times ( always on returning to Australia, always in the US and try going through Arab states.. Not good. At least with my EU passport I have an F. Mesmerised, yes it was I who made that comment on a previous thread of mine. So true. I spent years trying to educate those who would listen but honestly, it just ended up making my life harder, increased discrimination and ended up with even fewer friends! I am ok now, irked by the way ts are treated, they are not transgendered in a broad all enrapturing sense, wrong head on wrong body. Sexual orientation is a difficult one, as I am now I feel stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea, I am neither a complete woman as I am pre op, nor a guy, as I have breasts. So not many women would look at me and same goes for men. Where is my orientation? Like my body, stuck somewhere I between.

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

Quoting 'Christiets' Dear him and me, gender x is used on passports for indeterminate sex, I have an NZ passport and they use an X where gender is usually seen as M or F, problem is of course your boarding pass is never given a title, Ms, Mrs or Mr, just left blank and even worse your passport is ALWAYS challenged as I can contest to at least a dozen times ( always on returning to Australia, always in the US and try going through Arab states.. Not good. At least with my EU passport I have an F. Mesmerised, yes it was I who made that comment on a previous thread of mine. So true. I spent years trying to educate those who would listen but honestly, it just ended up making my life harder, increased discrimination and ended up with even fewer friends! I am ok now, irked by the way ts are treated, they are not transgendered in a broad all enrapturing sense, wrong head on wrong body. Sexual orientation is a difficult one, as I am now I feel stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea, I am neither a complete woman as I am pre op, nor a guy, as I have breasts. So not many women would look at me and same goes for men. Where is my orientation? Like my body, stuck somewhere I between. and the deep blue sea. You can have both. Boobs, pussies, cocks, whatever. There are people out there like me who don't give a rats arse what bits you have (and I say the more bits the merrier, just sayin'). JUST BE YOU. x

reply

like
RHP User

11 years ago

In my mind the bits do matter, its uncomfortable to see, (so I don't look ) I make use of what I have in the best way I can. If some like what they see, then thats a bonus. A nice smile helps light up their day..

reply

like

The bottom of the pile?

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help