F43
The couple delimma
July 04 2015
Comments
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Forus1234
9 years ago
Everyone has there own rules, but with us, if the spark isn't felt by all, then it's not going to happen. We play as a couple & never take one for the team! We never leave each other to go off with others at a party or an event. It's all play or no play!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I may not be who you're aiming this at.... But I wouldn't have any issue with it. As unexpected it may be; sometimes the heart/body just wants what it wants - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
We have spoken about it before..... We are a straight couple, so where as if both other parties were attracted to just one, it would tend to be a deal breaker.... Now in a straight environment, it would all come down to personality and chemistry at a meet...pending we get that far... There are other couples out there that don't compromise, having been passed on recently ourselves for both being straight... I'm sure it happens all the time, we just don't get directly told... At the end of the day, each journey is individual, ours is shared and about our experiences together, so for us, it's unlikely that we would go ahead with any play date under those circumstances....
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RHP User
9 years ago
I wouldn't play with someone I wasn't attracted to because it was expected, no matter how how much I was attracted to their partner. I also choose not to sleep with one half of a couple, not matter what their arrangement is. For me it's either both or neither. When playing as a couple, it happened to my FWB and I as well, that the person we met liked one of us and not the other. We were always happy if they were upfront about it, it's only normal and we never felt bad. Nothing worse than having a guest in your bed and feeling like the fifth wheel. We played with a couple once where the woman wasn't as bi as she had let on. I wish she had just told me, rather than kiss me once and then ignore me.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Maybe she was bi and just wasn't attracted to me? Either way, it wasn't ideal.
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RHP User
9 years ago
sharing your body with another person(s) is a very intimate thing...well for us anyhow..so unless all parties were equally interested in everyone, it would not work for us..hubby is straight, so obviously there wouldn't have to be a sexual connection between the males...but it would still have to be the right energy between them... there should never be such thing, as "taking one for the team"...swinging is an addition to our sex life, not a necessity...if the attraction is not there for all involved, it won't happen for us.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is is actually a light hearted term, as it appears not everyone shares our sense of humour ....
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RHP User
9 years ago
Would you go to bed with someone because you were atteacked to their smile but put off by their body? A choice in partner reflects heavily on that person, so you will in essence be going to bed with that partner also (even if it is only a shadow of them). I used to not care about this (well thanks to some very early experiences I've worked through) and it just leads to problems. For me there are enough singles around so don't waste your time on a couple... well unless of course you want all of the couple ;)
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luvsilver
9 years ago
We do not take one for the team Tart but there are times when there is a blurred line.We have met couples where one of us has found the opposite sex from the other couple more attractive than the other and have played with them- this has happened both ways.It doesn't happen often but it has happened. ( I am also certain that other couples have found the same in us)If either one of us decides that we are uncomfortable with someone else (either in looks or personality) then things will not go any further.The same rule applies to playing with couples as well as single guys or woman.We have been at parties together though where we may not play together in the same room and that works well too.In a perfect world everyone would feel the exact same attraction to everyone but that is not the reality and we still manage to have fun.Putting it in a different form.We have been together for 23 years.We have eaten a lot of meals together.Sometimes , just sometimes ,we eat a meal that is the others favourite.We eat it because that is something that our partner really enjoys and we want to see them happy and enjoying life . We like it too but not as much as our own favourite dishIs this taking one for the team? No - just a bit of give and take that has to happen in any relationship.We don't cook something that the other simply does not enjoy- we may order it if eating out though-lol.Simplistic- maybeMr Luvsilver
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have 'taken one for the team' before and I will never ever ever do it again. Hubby thought that she was hot (and so did I) but I didn't like her partner at all. It was awkward, without chemistry (obviously) and one of the worst experiences for me. I guess I felt I kind of owed it to my hubby to let it happen in a way. He rarely ever plays or has women show an interest in him (except me of course). I'm glad he got the opportunity I suppose but I felt I lost a little piece of myself by giving it away.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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DOT007
9 years ago
Miss rabbit . in my last relationship my partner did as you did . i didn't find out until a few days later how she felt. i hope your man makes it up to you for it does certainly hurt .She said she felt dirty . all the best with your next adventures .. xpete
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
A few years back the ex an I met a couple for intro drinks. She was ok with the M half of the other couple, me not so much with the F half. They were pretty good to talk to though. At the end of the public place meet, three of the four people got all enthusiastic about a four way play the following week. Everyone else was so excited voting yes, and I didn't have the heart to ruin it all so I said ok. Later at home I said I wasn't comfortable with it, nicely, and the meet didn't happen. My view - taking one for the team, as part of a couple, will only end in point scoring, ie 'I've taken three for the team and you've taken none' and can only end badly. You ARE the team. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Part of our role play is that it's all up to her....having said that, she has excellent taste in men....and couples :) I'm sure however, that if I, MrM, was to indicate complete distaste, my gorgeous Lady would concur and find another :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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CompersionCouple
9 years ago
Last year we went to a swingers club & after an hour we met a sexy single woman in her middle 30's. We got on really well with her & we thought that all 3 of us where in for a hot night. I asked her if we should go into 1 of the rooms. She quickly told me that she wasn't interested in me but wanted to play with my man. She said that I was to young & it would make her feel like she was playing with her little sister. I must of had a shocked look on my face cause my man asked what was wrong. When I explained the situation to him he said "we only play as a team so bad luck". He then told her the same thing & she got a pissed off about it & created a bit of a scene. It's great to part of a great team. My man always says that the stronger the team, the better the game. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
If you didn't like a solo person.... would you add another solo person you DID like to that?! Simple answers are often the right ones.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think it's really difficult and for myself I experienced this more often than not with couples. Hard to find a connection with one person, let alone two at the same time. I love hearing stories how well it works for others, but personally I found the dynamic of couples difficult to navigate. If you've been interacting with one part of the couple, and it all goes swimmingly and then comes to a grinding halt with the other half - it's tough. I've always just backed away completely - as I see them as a unit, even if they say they're happy to play separately - it's not right for me. "Oh it's not the right dynamic for me. Sorry." But why? *meep* My gah please don't ask for particulars! Because often it means "I'm not attracted to your husband" or similar
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RHP User
9 years ago
At the risk of sounding up myself... Haha... I am finding the same thing with couples, I always compare, I'm not looking to replace what I have, but hoping to match the chemistry I guess...maybe I'm too fussy, but I would rather go home and have fun alone than go along... Received a sexy message late last night reading my mind... "quality meets over quantity any day" ....
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RHP User
9 years ago
but my wife is free to play with whomever she chooses whenever she chooses. As am I. I'm more than aware that she'll get plenty more offers than me, and has in fact turned down the opportunity to play with single men now after some rather lacklustre meets, but that's life. We do prefer to play as a unit but I'm not gonna stand in the way of her enjoying herself cos someone doesn't find me attractive.
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Hi Tarte, we met and chatted with you at one of the meet n greets at the Moroccan themed pub in Prahran . To answer your question we would not be offended at all . There needs to be some form of attraction and obviously respect for others and their boundaries. We won't play with anyone we don't find attractive (mentally first then physically ) - Posted from rhpmobile
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QLDtwo4fun
9 years ago
You never know the outcome till you ask. To us there is a huge difference between 'compromise' and 'taking one for the team' although between ourselves we would use the term lightheartedly. We have limited opportunities to get out so sometimes there is compromise.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' I may not be who you're aiming this at.... But I wouldn't have any issue with it. As unexpected it may be; sometimes the heart/body just wants what it wants - Posted from rhpmobile why deprive one of fun because the other isn't what floats their boat
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RHP User
9 years ago
Finding the perfect threesome is like trying to find a unicorn. I think in any play situation, the triangle is generally somewhat lopsided or skewed towards favouring one part of the couple a bit more than the other. I'm happy for threesomes to go ahead even if the girl is more into him than me - because God knows it's gone the other way more than enough times.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I often think this when checking out other couples on here ...usually I may just be attracted to the female but then again I'm more interested to see my bf play with a man rather then myself play with one.
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RHP User
9 years ago
A bi girl could get away with it. 'I'm only playing with girls at the moment' and then they guy won't get offended because its not him its just that you aren't playing with any guys. Would still be a good show for him.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'The_team' A bi girl could get away with it. 'I'm only playing with girls at the moment' and then they guy won't get offended because its not him its just that you aren't playing with any guys. Would still be a good show for him. But to be honest I'd rather just let the girls play on their own...watching doesn't do much for me if I'm not joining in. I'd rather go do something else and leave them to it.
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