RHP

RHP User

M63

The do's and doms of BDSM

May 27 2010

What the hell is it with Doms? I love polyamorous people.. the thing about them is they are generally a really fun loving crowd but then when we all get together at Hellfire Club, we polys are thrown in to mix with the BDSM lot. Now, as a general rule the kinky club is full of people who are more often very accepting of other people's.. ummm kinks... so you know... that's why it's so popular and that's why it is a funny night. But there's always a few.... errrr... "doms"... usually male.... usually youngish.... and they always like to refer to themselves as dom..... "Hi I'm Dom Gary" (hehe... and about as dom as calling yourself Dom Barry) .... and usually the worst of them are into "total power play". They live out, full time, this master/slave relationship and basically sneer at anyone who doesn't. The law forbids mere players.... and god forbid if you are into switch play... oh fuck no... that's just wrong they'll say... and they'll dismiss you as if you couldnt possibly have a clue. Well, these Doms are nothing more than the Westborough Baptists of BDSM... their way is the correct way to do BDSM and everyone else is just doing it all wrong, or everyone else is deluded or undecided or lacking in self-knowledge. I mean to say.. .fuck off Dom before I brow beat you to within an inch of your sanity. Well Im here to say to all you wannabe Doms that I have news for you... just because you consider yourself to be a dom that doesn't mean that the rest of the world should too. What other colourful steriotypical characters have you experienced in BDSM social circles? Hugs Stalky

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    stalky wrote - 'just because you consider yourself to be a dom that doesn't mean that the rest of the world should too' I hear you loud and clear with this, we call it 'Domides' it also happens a lot with Dommes (female Dominant) particularly the new ones. so who's Dom path did you cross at Hellfire that rubbed you up the wrong way?..... lol and how was Hellfire? 'What other colourful steriotypical characters have you experienced in BDSM social circles?' There are a lot out there including myself ;-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Stalky wrote "just because you consider yourself to be a dom that doesn't mean that the rest of the world should too" We call this 'domides' and it happens quite often particularly with new Dommes (female dominant). Some learn fast that they can't dominate EVERYONE and others learn the hard way. I always get a good giggle out of watching them transform in to this power play, its like watching a tiny dog puff up its chest when a bigger dog comes into their territory. lol So who's Dom path did you cross to rub you up the wrong way?... And was it Hellfire syd or Hellfire Melb ? 'What other colourful steriotypical characters have you experienced in BDSM social circles?' There are a circus full of them out there and I'm one of them ;-) E xo

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I agree Stalky. The majority of the BDSM crowd are fantastic accepting people. The minority are the problem. I have had the most arrogant message from a dom, just like you described, who implied that I was pretending to be a Mistress. Tell that to the poor subbie I had tied up and tortured the other night. I think his screams of agony were an indication that I wasn't pretending. You will also find too that these "purists" have never experienced the other end of the flogger. The best dominants are those that have tried the whole spectrum of play. Those idiot elitists also hate female Dommes and switches as well as anyone who doesn't live the lifestyle. I am sure they have an operation to remove their funnybone or sense of humour. Give them a wide berth and bring that cute butt over here with the rest of the fun people. I give a really good spanking amongst my other tricks. ;-D

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'DominaT' I agree Stalky. The majority of the BDSM crowd are fantastic accepting people. The minority are the problem. I have had the most arrogant message from a dom, just like you described, who implied that I was pretending to be a Mistress. Tell that to the poor subbie I had tied up and tortured the other night. I think his screams of agony were an indication that I wasn't pretending. You will also find too that these "purists" have never experienced the other end of the flogger. The best dominants are those that have tried the whole spectrum of play. Those idiot elitists also hate female Dommes and switches as well as anyone who doesn't live the lifestyle. I am sure they have an operation to remove their funnybone or sense of humour. Give them a wide berth and bring that cute butt over here with the rest of the fun people. I give a really good spanking amongst my other tricks. ;-D I know SFA about Dom/Sub stuff... but you are 100% right when you say "the minority are the problem..." It's the same with sooo many things in life. I say let's get our whips n chains and rub out the minority..... ok maybe not... ;-) hugs Wayne

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Now I wish I still went to hellfire, just in the off chance I'd bump into you. I have been told that if I want some boys will to do girls who are don't mind it a bit kinky I should go to HF, but since i was 23 and first went I've always been put off by the wanker "Doms" who always insisted I'd make such a good sub (never mind I was adamant I was a top). Fucktards the lot of them. It's why, elsewhere, not RHP cos I'm here for sex, lol, I advertise for a switch. Cos I'm a top most of the time, a sadist occasionally, but I do like my sex rough. It was quite daunting as a 23yo having 40-50 yo old farts telling me what Masters they were. All up I found them to be arrogant twats. And 50yo subs throwing themselves at my feet asking to lick my boots. What the fuck? Like now I'm not up for anal with anyone who isn't at least receptive to taking some up the bum themselves, back then I had no time for a "Dom" who knew they were born to be dominant yet didn't know what a spanking or a caning felt like but expected every woman to bow down and wiggle before them.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    The nightclubs are good but I have met the best BDSM people at play parties. TNT and G2KU have been great. The players are serious without being judgemental posers. There is no pressure to join in the play, you can sit back and observe or jump right in. The night is always fun. I did get approched by a Dom but he ended up as my sub, lol and the only ones to throw themselves at my feet are my foot fetish guys wanting a trample.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'DominaT' The nightclubs are good but I have met the best BDSM people at play parties. TNT and G2KU have been great. The players are serious without being judgemental posers. There is no pressure to join in the play, you can sit back and observe or jump right in. The night is always fun. I did get approched by a Dom but he ended up as my sub, lol and the only ones to throw themselves at my feet are my foot fetish guys wanting a trample. ummm... you took a Dom and made him your Sub... does that make you a SuperDom? ;-) hugs Wayne x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Lordhammercy.... my my you do get around with a familiar crowd. Hugs Stalky Quoting 'DominaT' The nightclubs are good but I have met the best BDSM people at play parties. TNT and G2KU have been great. The players are serious without being judgemental posers. There is no pressure to join in the play, you can sit back and observe or jump right in. The night is always fun.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Quoting 'DominaT' The nightclubs are good but I have met the best BDSM people at play parties. TNT and G2KU have been great. The players are serious without being judgemental posers. There is no pressure to join in the play, you can sit back and observe or jump right in. The night is always fun. I did get approched by a Dom but he ended up as my sub, lol and the only ones to throw themselves at my feet are my foot fetish guys wanting a trample. but you look so sweet and innocent Domina hahaha i had a dom once he thought i would make the perfect sub....till i threatened to beat him with his own cane....whoops it was great til he tried to bring it into my real world...you just cant be doing some stuff with kids roaming around and he didnt understand that...oh well.....NEXT roxxy xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    I think some people take the whole thing too seriously. I enjoy some B&D play. Play. Yes I'll say it again play! For me its not a lifestyle. Its a bit of added excitement. And I am definitely only interested in playing with someone who sees it in the same way. Its got be about equality, so yes, if he wants to give, he has to be willing to receive. I don't wish to be controlled and I certainly don't wish to be humiliated or humiliate others, I simply want to explore the fine line with another intrepid, intelligent, trustworthy explorer. Cheers WTG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    He did make a good Dom though. I have the bruises to prove it. lol. And he wasn't an arrogant idiot like the ones you encountered Stalky. Why not come to the next G2KU and say hi. You might just meet some fellow RHP'ers. I would be happy to play if you are in the mood. I wish I was a Superdom Wayne. There are heaps better Mistresses out there than me. They are the real Superdoms. Roxxy! Thanks for the compliment. I really don't look sweet and innocent when I am torturing. I have been told I look quite devilish. lol. I too have kids and don't do anything around them. Good on you girl! Wish I had been a fly on the wall when you threatened him with his own cane. I love my play parties and I love the lifestyle. I realise that not all people are as serious about it as I am and that's great. It's good to have that mix of people and styles of play. Personally I prefer to play with switches (they play both sides for the uninitiated) as subs tend to be unreliable at times. And Gypsy, I hope you find a good switch to have fun with. Warm and kinky regards to all!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Sub's need Dom's, and correspondingly, Dom's need sub's. They are a function of one-another. I have known a few Doms with attitude but it seems to come with the territory. If it's the lack of experience that a 'young' Dom professes to have, then it may be difficult to take them seriously? There are hard-core players in any arena, but they limit their own opportunities for play due to their stringent rules. Fanatasism of any sort is..... blind to a certain extent. Always interesting to see people goof-off about themselves and what they do. Don't find it particularily annoying Stalky, just mildly amusing at best. Know what you mean though. T.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    This is interesting to me - Stalky's posts often are, and like Wayne I know SFA about the culture, however I was recently ... contacted I guess by a Dom guy who was not especially upfront with what he wanted, ie a Sub. Personally I am not into the culture atm but we all have our kinks and thrills, but I thought he was just a regular dude up for hot sex. He tried to tell me what to do and criticised the way I spoke/wrote to him etc (I didn't realise he was 'domming' me...) and eventually after apologising to me we agreed to meet up. Then, without any contact, he didn't show! I would like it if ppl were more upfront with where they are in the dom/sub/bottom etc culture and if the person they are interested in is not part of that scene to at least be up front with where they're coming from. Us poor little regular CumJunkies just get confused. If a person introduced themselves as Dom Anything to me, at this point I would laugh in their face because this man has made it all seem ridiculous. Love, Regular Horny Betsy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Thanks DominaT, I don't know about going to that one... Chezza would have me do unspeakable things on the kitchen benchtop. :p Hugs Stalky

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    12" meatball with barbie sauceahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaEarl

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    The Dom/Sub scene is like anything scene related really, you start with a good idea and people with good intentions (allowing people to act out certain inclinations with certain rules to establish a safe environment) then a minority decides that anyone who doesn't meet their specifications - are unacceptable. Sounds like the guy was a plain old Jerk Betsy!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Doms are like everybody else in the world ..... good and bad , some your going to get along with , others are going to annoy you , dare I say rub you up the wrong way! There are people in the scene that make it difficult for us all. Same thing happens for sporting clubs look what dumb rugby league players are doing to their game .... for that matter all football codes. In life there are always people that have extreme views. It’s easy to generalise but lets not. Like Domian has said by FAR the majority I have met are really welcoming friendly people. Switching to some is unacceptable .......... well for the record Crocs and Hawaiian style shirts are unacceptable to me. Am I right ? That up to you. For the record switching I don’t do , but think its VERY acceptable ...... lots of magnificent Doms have been subs. Ahh Bets Babe you know I think its crappy what happened to you. It is just plain wrong !Sadly I think you just came across an idiot. Again, idiots are common in all walks of life. I don’t ever start playing in that scene with someone till I have asked them to either fill out a BDSM questionnaire or at the very least had a really long conversation about their likes and wants. Its about exploring together, it is at its BEST, about TRUST! Take care all , Play safe and have fun. Brae

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Crocs are very comfortable. There. I've said it. My soul is laid bare. Stalky, you look like a crocs kinda guy? I mean, not for a play meet but heeeeeeey, c'mon!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Ok so Betsy we have know each other for a while now you are one of the sexiest little fukrs we know BUT we are drawing a line...... so here it is ! Should you ever turn up to meet us with crocs on its all over Bet's your delicious breast, delightful booty and energy level of a nuclear reactor will not persuade us ! Crocs maybe comfortable but they are a crime upon fashion ! Brae and Miss Sarah

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    We are all human and should treat each other with courtesy and civility. I made a lifestyle choice, just like we all have, and so we need to respect each other for that no matter what we decide. Stalky, you need to get your butt there on saturday. I am so looking forward to spanking it (gently if you wish). Or are you afraid of me? lol I have to agree with Brae and Miss Sarah. Crocs are handy for popping on to stop the bindies when I hang out the washing and are not a fashion statement.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Yeah Betsy. Reality bights. I don't actually own a pair of crocs but you pegged me. As a professional working from home I generally wear a sarong in summer and turn the fire up and then wear the same in winter. My "outrage" was expressed a little dramatically for creative effect.. you know... I do enjoy playing with the language... but my typical response to a Dom like the one I described is "NEXT" ... so what kind of a post would that have made, huh? It is hilarious going to Hellfire... people parading around with their sub on a leash, or masked like a dog.. or dressed in a puppy suit crawling on teh floor.. or tied to a rach barearsed and being whipped... hehe... the costumes range from the hilarious to the fucking sexy and then there are the guys who are wondering around with their mouths open gobsmacked by the theatre of it all.... there always seems to be someone you know there. I really do enjoy it. HUgs Stalky

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    NOT for a play meet!!! There aren't any in my photo are there??? (Those boys didn't have crocs on either... nor did our intrepid photographer, he he!!!) xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    That hurt there. No please no. I'll be a good little boy. Don't smack me please. Did that get you all off???? Ha hahahahahahahahHahahahaha Fab RFB5. Good to see ya Earl. Oh I mean blue leader. Ha ha.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    That new pic is sooooooooooooooooooooooo HOT!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    15 years ago

    Why thanks Betsy. My bum hasnt got that shine compared to yours!.. whoa!! It's actually last years bum shot but I'll need some new elastic in the speedos to hold up this year's action after perviing on your pic! :p HUgs Stalky