M35
The elusive blow job!
July 11 2015
Comments
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Heres how I see it.This is one of the reasons why a lot of women withdraw from oral sex over time.You haven't expressed to these women that you've learned how to receive her efforts properly. Im sure that you know how to make yourself ejaculate..... So if they're not getting you there........ its not them.... its you...... not communicating to them how you like it. Because if you know how to make yourself climax.... and they don't..... and you're not guiding them.... how do you expect things to change? A simple phrase while she's down there like ..."i really like it when you do that/this...." You mentioned its frustrating for these ladies... that suggests they WANT to help you. Women WANT to take pride in their skills and the pleasure they give. So help them to help you. DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Give the woman you're with a heads-up (pun totally intended in this case), or say you're loving what she's doing, but you really want to come inside her. I don't think many will feel inadequate in that case. If a woman takes it as a challenge to prove you wrong because she "knows what she's doing", she's just not respecting what you say. Many women have come across that attitude themselves from (some) men they've been with, so feel free to remind her.
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Missb4u
9 years ago
Nothing's broken so why would you need to fix it? Some guys do some guys don't. That's just the way it is. I would think most women particularly on here would understand that and not take it personally if you were one that doesn't cum from a blow job. After all there are plenty of women that say the exact same thing. if you think you could cum from a blow job if they did a particular thing then you need to ask for it, communication is always the key. ...*sigh* I adore giving head.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thank you ladies :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
9 years ago
Ever had a woman so lost in the moment, she begins to have her own orgasms while giving a blow job ? Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Meander is right, give the woman a heads up and I think you'll find most will be understanding. A few men that I've been with have had the same issue, told me about it and we just got on with things. Some weeks down the line, they all ended up cumming from a bj. It wasn't because I did anything different or special, but more so I think because there was no pressure or expectation from either of us. It would only be a problem for me if you wouldn't let me give you head at all. I love doing it, regardless of the outcome :).
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Mr_MrsAraps
9 years ago
I am the same in terms not being able to cum from oral. For quite a while it was really frustrating cause I really wanted to cum that way as did mrs Araps but over time and lots of talking about it together have come to the realisation that it's very probably that's just how it is and how I am wired. Getting bothered and grumpy etc about it is not going to change things. Plenty of other ways to have great sex without being fixated on cuming from oral. Still on the menu is receiving great oral in the lead up to sex - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
The last time i came from a bj. Gets me hard though. Needs a bit of hand help and mental attitude if they want a mouthful. Everyone is different so i dont see a problem if both are on the same page. If you have the same partner a few times, soon learn what works for each other. Probably why one night stands are a bit problematic in those regards.
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Hawt1
9 years ago
It never happened to me before either.. even had one lass bless her tried for hours (it was her thing she liked to do).Feels great and all, I enjoy it... but its just not enough to send me over the edge. I did on one occasion find face fucking did the trick.Just be carefull with this method lads, dont want to damage her!
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RHP User
9 years ago
But as Missb72 said, let your partner know. Some women see it as a challenge and I'm more than happy to receive, as long as I'm allowed to go down on her myself...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Because if you know how to make yourself climax.... and they don't..... and you're not guiding them.... how do you expect things to change? A simple phrase while she's down there like ..."i really like it when you do that/this...." DG You're doing the "everything can be taught" spiel. Some people don't come from oral. They just don't. Telling them to keep trying, teaching, learning, guiding, etc. just implies that they are not getting "it" quite yet, but will get there eventually. Some people will never achieve orgasm that way, and not for lack of effort. They should not be made to feel they need to keep practicing in my view. Unless the OP has made himself come from oral of course, in which case kudos, Pizzel!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Heres how I see it.This is one of the reasons why a lot of women withdraw from oral sex over time.You haven't expressed to these women that you've learned how to receive her efforts properly. Im sure that you know how to make yourself ejaculate..... So if they're not getting you there........ its not them.... its you...... not communicating to them how you like it. Because if you know how to make yourself climax.... and they don't..... and you're not guiding them.... how do you expect things to change? A simple phrase while she's down there like ..."i really like it when you do that/this...." You mentioned its frustrating for these ladies... that suggests they WANT to help you. Women WANT to take pride in their skills and the pleasure they give. So help them to help you. DG DUUUUDE!!!! You give yourself blow jobs. I am impressed DG. And you know what? Not everyone has to be the same and come from the same thing you know. Why make people feel bad about themselves all the time? Giving me the whoops!!!! grrrrrrr
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' You're doing the "everything can be taught" spiel. Some people don't come from oral. They just don't. Telling them to keep trying, teaching, learning, guiding, etc. just implies that they are not getting "it" quite yet, but will get there eventually. Some people will never achieve orgasm that way, and not for lack of effort. They should not be made to feel they need to keep practicing in my view. Meander........ Well spotted. Everything CAN be taught...... and the OP deliberately asked us how he can learn.I think you missed that in your haste to respond to.... me. He WANTS to keep tryingHE is KEEN to keep practicingHe is LOOKING FOR HELP! And thats exactly what I suggested.... communication (which is what others have suggested too, without any criticism.) Because the alternative to helping is to tell him to give up.... stop trying.... because its never going to happen...........and if thats your advice you are totally ignoring what the OP asked! So, I answered his question from the perspective of being a fellow penis owner.... who goes through the same situation almost every time I meet a new lover....... which I expect means I can relate to his thoughts more accurately than a vagina owner. And remember.... you have jumped on guys for speaking on behalf of women in the past.So... ask how have you responded any differently?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' And remember.... you have jumped on guys for speaking on behalf of women in the past.So... ask how have you responded any differently? I carefully spoke about "people" ("some people", even), not "men", for that very reason. So pffft. I think being told that you just haven't tried everything yet is not something any sex necessarily wants to hear. There is giving advice, and then there is preaching.
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madotara69
9 years ago
But if a guy asks "how did you fix it?" he wants to hear it any way it comes.
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RHP User
9 years ago
If the OP is just as happy to hear "This is what you should be doing", as "This is what worked for me personally", then by all means. I'll see myself out.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Why would sex be any different to ... any other subject when it comes to knowledge. We are not born with knowledge, we must acquire it.... and not everyone squires the right knowledge, the same knowledge, or knowledge at the same rate Sex, is no different. The OP asked for shared knowledge. madotara gets it
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Im sure that you know how to make yourself ejaculate..... So if they're not getting you there........ its not them.... its you...... not communicating to them how you like it. Because if you know how to make yourself climax.... and they don't..... and you're not guiding them.... how do you expect things to change? You mentioned its frustrating for these ladies... that suggests they WANT to help you. Women WANT to take pride in their skills and the pleasure they give. So help them to help you. DG Communicate what you know works for you - for starters.
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RHP User
9 years ago
... the amount of times I came from a blow job... When it doesn't happen I dont like it but don't dwell on it either... I explain that sometimes it happens and has nothing to do with her or her way.. just one of them things...
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RHP User
9 years ago
"hasn't learned how to receive their efforts properly"?? dude.
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RHP User
9 years ago
There are blow jobs and then there are BLOW JOBs and maybe you just have not had the latter. Not everyone loves to suck cock, not everyone has the stamina to put in the half to an hour hungry, love cock, gagging, sloppy, give me all you got blow job. Some women like to give blow jobs, but it is more a token act. Accept it, but you can not expect them to finish you off. Only a few people can give good head, but if you let expectation get ahead of skills then it will only lead to frustration and then the willingness to do it well will also decrease. Putting on pressure to blow also is part of the problem. Get over it as it should not matter. Sex is more than the orgasm.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Now if this was about squirting.... 😳 Seriously though, i know of females who have never had an orgasm orally. And lots of women cant orgasm from penetration. I doubt its because they havent found that "expert" guy with all the sexual tricks. Some reasons can be physical, some can be mental or even an issue from childhood. Who knows!! OP, you are young,dont focus on one small part of the amazing smorgasboard of sex. Or experiment by adding something else to your blowjob, like massaging your prostate with a lubed finger or vibe to tip you over the edge. Main thing is not to get hung up one one area.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
I stand by that comment. Heard the old joke about why the bride is smiling?Because she knows once the ring is on the finger, she can stop giving blow jobs. Ask that question why so many guys say their woman doesn't offer him oral anymore. Its not merely the case that some women love it, and some just don't.There are reasons why some women love it... and why some don't. Through talking to many woman about this, its clear that those who don't feel it is not as rewarding for her, to make that effort and go down on her man. After those early days of offering him pleasure, she gets nothing from it, it becomes an unrewarding chore that he asks (begs) for, and she does only because he asked. He jams her head down, or worse still.. he just lays there, no feedback, no sharing of how her efforts are making him feel So whats in it for her?!! The "ideal"....is an association of pleasure and satisfaction created between your dick, and her mouth. As madotara has noted...... imagine that the mere act of going down on her man causes her to become so aroused, she climaxes. She is thus rewarded for offering her man pleasure. Or imagine that your moans, sighs, the fact she has to hold you down .. turns her on and makes her sopping wet from excitement. OR... imagine she bobs her head a bit, he lays there quietly, says nothing, eyes shut, and she's wondering if what she's doing is any good, whether you care that its her doing it, whether you're 'present', or thankful she's sharing with you. Learning how to receive properly is as important as learning how to give in the way that person loves. DG
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RHP User
9 years ago
I see your point and concede that in the context of women being inclined to continue giving blowjobs in the long term, it is a very valid point indeed. if the original statement had read, "you haven't learnt to express your appreciation of their efforts", I may have been less inclined to raise an eyebrow.peace out.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Q: What's the difference between Lust, Love and Showing off?....A: Spitting,Swallowing and Gargling
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RHP User
9 years ago
Its part physical and part mental. You probably like to give give give and that's what turns you on, and thus gets you to come and receiving is actually a chore for you emotionally and sexually. You physically enjoy the pleasure but it doesn't make you 'peak' Some suggestions are, amp it up. get into your position which makes you most comfortable when you fap and get oral from there, include some but play if she's open to it and here is the hardest part. "Let yourself be pleasured" Once you actually allow the above you might find the rest comes easier. Just like a woman who can come 20 times faster when the guy she knows adores her body and soul this is the same for you mentally allowing yourself these pleasures. There is certainly a physicality to it and there are things you do when you fap which push you over the edge, be honest about what they are, teach them to your partners and see where it goes mate! Good luck!
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RHP User
9 years ago
...... something heart wrenching about a woman trying to get blood from a stone .... after you have told them that it doesn't happen. ... its ok ..its ok ..... Im sure that it is psychological ... feels fabulous ... and is the ultimate compliment. Uly
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RHP User
9 years ago
I can make most men cum. I think the trick is to use your hand, get it wet and don't suck at all. I think lots of women are too rough and sick hard. If I haven't made a man cum within about 2 -3 minutes it's not going to happen. I got good at it by having someone teach me. They weren't afraid to give me critique. Give the woman (polite) feedback. There are occasional men I can't get there and it's generally because they need it so hard and fast I can't get them there. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I mean use your mouth but just for the wetness and up and down motion. No need for sucking like crazy - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
While I agree about wet slippery handwork (for me, anyway)..... 2-3 minutes? Challenge accepted lol
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