F55
The fetish or the person?
November 11 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't really want to get to know or connect with people for instance if I want to be fucked down the beach and have guys wank their loads on me and piss on me.That said I have a connection with a couple whom Im very fond of and weve had fun exploring each others fetishes and kinks.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That is specifically there to explore a fetish I have yet to fulfil. Not sure if this is the right site to explore it however. Understand what you mean tho......
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RHP User
10 years ago
When I was still new here I mentioned wanting to fuck a man with a strap-on and immediately received many requests from eager volunteers.I said yes to only one man, because I knew him from the forums and really liked how he came across (he's unfortunately long gone. Sigh.) I never regretted it and we kept in touch for some time. He was the exception though, I need to really connect with someone before I'll invite them into my bed. It's for that reason I'm still waiting for my MMMF.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I get a bit sick of the 'so what can you do for me' email scenario. They aren't interested in me, only what fantasies of theirs I can fulfill. I have gone through with a few for the sake of trying things myself and I find it no different to the ordinary boring vanilla sex I get either, they are all users fetish or no fetish.
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inspirit
10 years ago
What do you mean - what kind of fetish? If you are fulling some ones fetish and it is not yours as well then why would you even do it?
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RHP User
10 years ago
If there is a honest connection then any form of sexual activity becomes top shelf or simply the best... Regardless of any one is into a connection is the only way to honestly achieve the best outcome...
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twowithnolimits
10 years ago
Sorry but we are a bit like Bliss, its fetish first, if we wanted connections there are dozens of social avenues for that, why waste time on here? Now if we connect with someone (which happens) that is the bonus not the raison de'etre
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
I can develop the best of connections with a guy, but if he's not excited at the prospect of his girl hiding a big hard cock in her undies it's going to be a tad awkward come bed time.......
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RHP User
10 years ago
For me I need to feel comfortable with a guy before doing any fetish stuff. Plus I think it makes the experience a whole lot better. For eg I recently discovered I luv it when a man takes charge and is forceful, even handcuffed me to the bed) If I wasn't comfortable with him, and didn't "click"/have some sort of connection, I don't think I would've enjoyed it as much, and possibly worry that I was 100% safe. Also if some connection there, I'd be more inclined to go out of my comfort zone to fulfil a fantasy of theirs. It should be give and take anyway, enjoyable for both, otherwise what's the point.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Once I added a couple of fetishes ... my contact rate increased considerably ... Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
To attract men who have a fetish for penpals,or they ate looking for Dr,Quill not Doctor Thrill xx Freya
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
Sorry but that's why I'm on RHP and not on the vanilla sites, I'm looking for a particular person with particular fetishes, because I don't want vanilla. I don't have my fetish list done for a reason, because if someone wants to know what it is, they have to get to know me and there come the connection. I love the connection, the attraction, it's one of my things too, but it still all comes down to personal preference.....💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isnt the depth & intensity of the fetish determined by the real connection you have?
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Hottie1
10 years ago
so that I experience the fetish 'fully and completely'. All my plays are mind, body and connections with people, if one of those is missing I won't interact. A 'connection' for me is the focus and attention I have for the person/people I'm playing with. At times those 'connections' have to be made quickly. For example, at a party recently, we were talking to a couple whilst comparing tattoos. I didn't just look, I touched the lovely lady, touched her tattoo, she got goose bumps, we looked at each other and I knew that we were beginning to make a connection, we didn't play that night ( mostly because I would describe her bloke as dick). Similarly, I had my first FFM recently. With all three elements at play for me, it was an experience that I doubt will be rivaled 😍 I know that many people don't look for the connections here but in all reality it is people in this scene that I can really share my experiences with. Mary xx
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Miss BL... ...to some people..... just "getting" sex... becomes their fetish, if a fetish can be considered a driving compulsion of some degree of personal interest. These may be the "notch hunters"..... just looking for someone to facilitate their sexual expression..... someone to merely masturbate inside of, or to validate their ego. Fetishes arent merely limited to the extremes people typically think of when the word is considered.But if a fetish seems all consuming to that person, and they seem disconnected from the person theyre seeking to express it with but focussed on the act..... theyre not likely to be very mindful of you when pursuing or practicing it. Its an interesting topic.... and you ask a few. DG
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RHP User
10 years ago
"Have you ever felt used by someone so they could tick a fetish box?" No, but I'd like to be. And no I'm not sorry.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think you expressed it better than I did ... "if a fetish seems all consuming to that person, and they seem disconnected from the person theyre seeking to express it with but focussed on the act..... theyre not likely to be very mindful of you when pursuing or practicing it" That's precisely what I'm wary of. I get that it's different if both (or all) people are happy for the sex to be purely about the fetish.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It depends on what fetish someone is talking about. You probably don't need a connection for say, a gangbang, or other physical only activity. Unless of course a person of further interest to you was involved, but the connection would only extend to them. But you will probably benefit from a connection with someone if your fetish is more intimate, or requires a greater understanding, committment or perhaps skill level from the other party or parties. Of course if you are a swinging couple with close ties to say 2 or 3 other couples and/or individuals, then something as raw and carnal as a gangbang could be made more of a deeper experience than some randoms. For example, I would NEVER engage in giving a girl a rape fantasy, unless we had the utmost trust in each other. My fear would be that she *could* turn around and cry actual rape, and most of the evidence for it would be there, and with little defence on my part except for the unbelievable excuse that "she asked for it". Not that I get the idea of rape fantasies anyway, isn't it just very rough sex if you know it's your significant other doing it?
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
If you're wary... then you will be evaluative of the other person. Not always a bad thing. PSThats your best photo..... feminine and alluring
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' I think you expressed it better than I did ... "if a fetish seems all consuming to that person, and they seem disconnected from the person theyre seeking to express it with but focussed on the act..... theyre not likely to be very mindful of you when pursuing or practicing it" That's precisely what I'm wary of. I get that it's different if both (or all) people are happy for the sex to be purely about the fetish. Im confused. Are you engaging in someones fetish or is this a fetish of yours that you want to do.. You don't have to have coa connection with someone to indulge in a fetish. As another poster has said. Trust is definitely needed. And if it safe sane and consensual do what ever you fucking like.You may find after crossing some fetishes off your list that you don't wish to do them anymore. Waiting around to find a connection with someone who shares your same fetish could actually never see you do them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'EuropianBliss' Quoting 'Burning_Love' I think you expressed it better than I did ... "if a fetish seems all consuming to that person, and they seem disconnected from the person theyre seeking to express it with but focussed on the act..... theyre not likely to be very mindful of you when pursuing or practicing it" That's precisely what I'm wary of. I get that it's different if both (or all) people are happy for the sex to be purely about the fetish. Im confused. Are you engaging in someones fetish or is this a fetish of yours that you want to do.. You don't have to have coa connection with someone to indulge in a fetish. As another poster has said. Trust is definitely needed. And if it safe sane and consensual do what ever you fucking like.You may find after crossing some fetishes off your list that you don't wish to do them anymore. Waiting around to find a connection with someone who shares your same fetish could actually never see you do them. I'm not engaging in anything. I noticed that when I read profiles where most of the content was about a fetish, I automatically discounted that profile. When I realised I was doing this, I thought about it and recognised I was doing it because I assumed the person's main priority was the fetish and they didn't care who they fucked to fulfill their fetish. I assumed the profiles were a bit along the lines of 'any hole's a goal'. When I realised I was making this assumption and that I was wary of those profiles, and I was curious about other people's views on the topic. So I asked. And I'm learning from the responses, which is always a good thing :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' Quoting 'EuropianBliss' Quoting 'Burning_Love' I think you expressed it better than I did ... "if a fetish seems all consuming to that person, and they seem disconnected from the person theyre seeking to express it with but focussed on the act..... theyre not likely to be very mindful of you when pursuing or practicing it" That's precisely what I'm wary of. I get that it's different if both (or all) people are happy for the sex to be purely about the fetish. Im confused. Are you engaging in someones fetish or is this a fetish of yours that you want to do.. You don't have to have coa connection with someone to indulge in a fetish. As another poster has said. Trust is definitely needed. And if it safe sane and consensual do what ever you fucking like.You may find after crossing some fetishes off your list that you don't wish to do them anymore. Waiting around to find a connection with someone who shares your same fetish could actually never see you do them. I'm not engaging in anything. I noticed that when I read profiles where most of the content was about a fetish, I automatically discounted that profile. When I realised I was doing this, I thought about it and recognised I was doing it because I assumed the person's main priority was the fetish and they didn't care who they fucked to fulfill their fetish. I assumed the profiles were a bit along the lines of 'any hole's a goal'. When I realised I was making this assumption and that I was wary of those profiles, and I was curious about other people's views on the topic. So I asked. And I'm learning from the responses, which is always a good thing :) Ide actually be quite happy to engage someone who is open and honest about their Fetish on a profile as Ide tend to believe that that person would be honest in other aspects as well. They may well be the most honest people here.
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
It's about the fetish... I don't generally even remember the persons name afterwards... Just what happened.. And usually I don't repeat it with the same person. Sexy yummy stuff that's not on my bucket list that just happens and is awesome and becomes fetishy- is about the connection and I remember names and repeat/extend those. 😋💕 Xxviolet
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RHP User
10 years ago
... judging a book by its cover, that is. Bottom-line though, I don't want to be anyone's nameless fuck for the sake of a fetish, which probably explains why I'm wary of profiles that give me this impression. It's no surprise that some people are all for it and others, like me, aren't. Vive la difference ;)
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inspirit
10 years ago
BUT I still don't get where the connection folk are coming from............... Why would you feel used?? Wouldn't their indulgence in you please you as they would be ecstatically happy..... I mean that is most peoples pleasure - to please. I thought anyway.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Are now a fetish with very young men... I have no desire to be the object of that fetish.....even though I loved Harold and Maude XxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have several fetishes, however not a must for me but it increases the attraction to someone else. One of my fetishes is to actual go to a fetish club!!! Just gotta find one here in Perth - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
It's because people are getting confused between fetish and kinky, I think anyway. When someone has a fetish it's something they crave or need to get turned on, a fetish could be a particular scenario someone always plays out or an object such as a piece of clothing, etc. and it is these things that turn that person on and it seems often who they play the fetish out with can be irrelevant to them. So totally cool when two people with similar fetishes meets. The connection people are just talking about every day relationships. You meet someone nice become FWBs or BF/GF and you sometimes get your kink on and experiment. Spanking, tying each other up, toys, hair pulling, etc etc, are just normal. You like to do these things with someone you really like and trust. A fetish doesn't even have to be kinky, and kinky stuff most definitely is not always a fetish. Capisce now? :P
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RHP User
10 years ago
I should clarify I don't think the connection people are really talking about fetishes at all. To me experimenting, role playing, some Dom and sub stuff is just a bit of fun and not a big deal at all. Normal... Isn't it. :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
For example a guy who wants to pegged and who could care less who did it. I want the man who wants to be pegged by me.
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inspirit
10 years ago
I agree with normal D/s - Water Sports - Gang Bang - Roll Play - all a normal part of our kinky sexuality. Grocery shopping for pineapples is a fetish or a guy wrapping his dick in silk and fucking you a fetish too? SM to me is a fetish also. Pegging - well I would class that as normal kink too. You do mean pegging his love nuts - right? Anyway - I am with both sides. Some times I do and sometimes I don't - though I do need an initial attraction as in they have to be in the same chapter somewhere not necessarily the same page. I do have a novel here -
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inspirit
10 years ago
He could peg you back As my original post though - why would you be with some one who you didn't want to be with. I see no point to the post - sorry OP - though why would you get wary of it? Some people love to used and others use. Have you never used a man for your own gratification.....some DO love it! In fact many do. I do understand you are seeking advice to be able to make better decisions. One reason why I do enjoy the forums.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Oooh a pedgehog. Nice. Now make sure you have all the pegs connected with a thin string, that way after you have done slapping the pegs and his balls you can rip all the pegs off in one strong tug off the string as the piece de resistance. Oh it's lovely to hear men beg isn't it. :P
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RHP User
10 years ago
Meek & Inspirit you are both sick puppies...... sitting here mao & getting educated at the same time...pass the beer nuts please
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' If you're wary... then you will be evaluative of the other person. Not always a bad thing. PSThats your best photo..... feminine and alluring I appreciate the compliment.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Have you ever felt used by someone so they could tick a fetish box? Yes, but i knew the score.Have you ever used someone that way when you knew they wanted something more or different? I just can not do that, I don't know why. I have at times told my self tonight is all about me. Never happens, if I get a sense they may not be enjoying them selves i can not enjoy my self.Are you happy to be used that way? If I did not enjoy it or get something out of it I would not go back, I love to please some people, others will never see me again, and some I leave before it starts.Am I missing the point altogether? Maybe, but I am not to sure what the point is. There are so many types of personalities, some are needy and self centered, others are selfless and too generous, but there is the middle ground and every now and then you meet someone that fits perfectly, the fetish boxes are being ticked but it never feels one sided, or like you are being used, or that you are using. So perhaps I put up with meticulous by the letter guidelines of a sub, or the inexperience cavorting of a wanna be dom or the this is so naughty smiles of a starfish learning to walk, because I am searching the deck of cards for the very rare wild card. But i suspect there is much more to it than that, as the more I seem to understand others, the less I seem to know about my self, if that make any sense at all?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Re: Fetish vs Kinky I once heard a comedian say something along the lines of: "Kinky is when you use a feather, a fetish is when you use the whole chicken!"
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