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The good bad and ugly jokes

September 07 2015

For those that are facing the start of the week depressing, something to cheer you up Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids. Bad: You can't find your birth control pills. Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you. Good: Your son's finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections. Good: Your wife's not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She's a lawyer. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47. Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas. Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Way ugly: She makes more money than you do. Good: Your son is dating someone new. Bad: It's another man. Ugly: He's you're best friend. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

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RHP User

9 years ago

A bitch and then you die,toughen up Princess..sorry just ran out of cliches 😘😘😘xxFreya

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RHP User

9 years ago

dirty joke: the boy fell in the mud. Clean joke: the boy had a bath with bubbles... Fun joke: bubbles was the girl next door 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

Might help to list the source with those plagiarism accusations here... My own: Good: Your wife hugs you in the middle of the night.Bad: She's bloody freezing.Ugly: She died two months ago.

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RHP User

9 years ago

love them all thanks guys put a smile on my face xo - Posted from rhpmobile

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Aristippusx2

9 years ago

Samsung tablets lack of punctuation functions👎

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RHP User

9 years ago

No,Bubbles was Michael's chimp.😝xxFreya

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RHP User

9 years ago

Good: your kid coming home with a red balloon animal from the children's party. Bad: noticing it's made from strawberry flavoured condoms Ugly: your child saying his giraffe tastes yummy Depraved: realising the condoms aren't new...

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RHP User

9 years ago

poor chimp :p - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

I thought mine was dark!

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RHP User

9 years ago

Good: You have a hot date on tonight. Bad: She cancels. Mrs Palmer again tonight. Ugly: Mrs Palmer catches an sti. Good: You crack a really great joke. Bad: It’s about kiwi’s, and there’s one present. Ugly: He’s a hugely built Mauri bloke. Just plain wrong: You start looking sheepish... Good: A mate comes to visit. Bad: He needs your bed because he has a really sore back, you’ll be on the couch. Ugly: You forgot about the wet patch from the girl you had last night. Really ugly: There’s another patch in the morning. Good: Your quite young son wants to learn about sex. Bad: He wants to know if all penises look the same, and to actually compare. Ugly: His is bigger. Good: Your wife wants to try playing with another man. Bad: For good. Ugly: Her car is packed. He’s waiting in it for her. Good: Your partner wakes you up in the night with a handjob. Bad: There’ll be no intercourse because she’s on her period. She’s just finished with herself anyway. Ugly: It’s not lube... Good: Your angel is the centrefold (blatant plagiarism) :) Bad: Your blood runs cold, she’s had a sex change. Ugly: She’s your wife. You’ve been away for a while. Really Ugly: You’ve already arranged for a homecoming. At a party. For a threesome. With you, her and another man. Good: You’re at a sex club. A blindfolded lady that likes facials is waiting in a darkened room. Bad: You recognise her. You’re related. Ugly: You recognised her too late...

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The good bad and ugly jokes

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