The not-knowing why part is driving me insane!

January 08 2014

So she was one of these "this person is travelling to your area!" profiles that popped up on my news feed. I sent a message with no real expectations of a reply as she's young, pretty and undoubtedly flogged with messages every minute. But reply she did. We got chatting, exchanged numbers and not-safe-for-work photos, organised a time and a place to meet. And the day of the meet she goes silent and doesn't reply to my "are we still on for today?" message. I check her rhp profile and it's "unavailable". The bar we were going to meet happened to be right next to my work, so I went down anyway knowing the answer; she didn't show up. Well I can handle rejection, it happens often on this site. A number of scenarios go through my head; she got cold feet, maybe she's actually married and her partner got suspicious. She ran out of time and got embarrassed. I didn't actually consider the scenario that I freaked her out somehow as I hadn't said anything else after we agreed to meet. Maybe she just deleted her profile and had enough of the scene. Ok, so I get over it. This was a month or two ago. Now here's the part that gets me: I log onto rhp yesterday and there she is, travelling to my area again! So she's actually just blocked me deliberately. As I said I can handle the "you're not my type" revelation. But someone going from "I like you, let's meet" to "stay away from me you creep" overnight will forever niggle at my curiosity... Just a rant. :)

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    A date who was driving me somewhere just disappeared after I had popped into the shops. Im like where the fuck is he. Would have been nice to have a thankyou but I don't think its going to work. But I guess men and woman have their own ways of not wanting to carry on.

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'EuropianBliss' A date who was driving me somewhere just disappeared after I had popped into the shops. Im like where the fuck is he. Would have been nice to have a thankyou but I don't think its going to work. But I guess men and woman have their own ways of not wanting to carry on. Wow, that is so rude! Hope you weren't far from home :(

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    this is a deeply shallow pool

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    some women, believe it or not, can be intimidated by hot men...you have a validation from Jessica Rabbit...there is a whole thread dedicated to her hotness.....she may have felt that she couldn't live up to that standard

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Ok truth is you were'nt the only one she chose to meet......consider she had two maybe more possibles and sorry she chose the other. She was keeping her options open, it is sad she didnt politley send you some kind of message then she could have kept you available for next time. This is RHP and she doesnt know you or owe you anything....you've been here long enough to know that. Sad truth.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Trying to rationalise the irrational. However, I do ask....didn't you post this very similar post a while ago?? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Cest_la_viebaby' Ok truth is you were'nt the only one she chose to meet......consider she had two maybe more possibles and sorry she chose the other. She was keeping her options open, it is sad she didnt politley send you some kind of message then she could have kept you available for next time. This is RHP and she doesnt know you or owe you anything....you've been here long enough to know that. Sad truth. You're most likely correct, though a simple "sorry I can't make tonight" would have saved me a lot of trouble. I have no regard for people who don't respect my time :/

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Welcome to Rhp lol. Happens to the best of them. Just make sure it only happens once DG - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You just move on. It's not like you were going to marry her. Unfortunately not every one has the manners to say they've changed their minds, or that they can't make it. You just have to take the bad with the good, meet new people with no expectations and an open mind. That way no one feels disappointed or let down.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Happened to me very recently! Plans had been made and agreed upon. I was there at the bar waiting.... and he was a no-show! Check his profile the next day and it's been suspended. Have yet to hear from him again to this day. His loss I say! Blond_gypsy, I agree, the complete lack of manners / consideration for others is extremely frustrating, but if that is the kind of woman she is, she doesn't deserve your company anyway!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Qefenta' some women, believe it or not, can be intimidated by hot men...you have a validation from Jessica Rabbit...there is a whole thread dedicated to her hotness.....she may have felt that she couldn't live up to that standard Yep that would intimidate me. I probably wouldn't even met a guy that had a validation from JR... no way I could live up to that.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Just a thought..... ever wondered how many profiles are fake.... not created by bored and lonely twits typing naked with one free hand..... but created by the website to increase traffic?! It's happened before. ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'blond_gypsy' Quoting 'EuropianBliss'A date who was driving me somewhere just disappeared after I had popped into the shops. Im like where the fuck is he. Would have been nice to have a thankyou but I don't think its going to work. But I guess men and woman have their own ways of not wanting to carry on. Wow, that is so rude! Hope you weren't far from home :( Its happened before and it will happen again. :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Just a thought..... ever wondered how many profiles are fake.... not created by bored and lonely twits typing naked with one free hand..... but created by the website to increase traffic?! It's happened before. ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile Im sure they make a lot more money from organised events. After all its just us old farts looking for a root that keeps this place going. :P

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Qefenta' some women, believe it or not, can be intimidated by hot men...you have a validation from Jessica Rabbit...there is a whole thread dedicated to her hotness.....she may have felt that she couldn't live up to that standard I find that very amusing because a lot of men tend to be complete wrecks around any woman they deem somewhat attractive. I was on a date not long ago and she was prettier than in her photos. I think my opening comment was "So shall we drink for a go?" or something.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' I probably wouldn't even met a guy that had a validation from JR... no way I could live up to that. It's not even a sexual one. . That's a whole new topic actually. Watch this space...

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    11 years ago

    It doesn't take much to send a text to say sorry cant make it but I understand this is cyber world and until you actually lay eyes on each other there is no guarantee they will show up.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Just pissed myself laughing at this... What an arse! Blonde Gypsy, was she from this site? Come on lady, just get on here and let us all know why you turned the cold shoulder... Lol

  • buszwack

    buszwack

    11 years ago

    I've wondered about some of the commercial aspects . I wonder how some people can afford to literally be on cams 12 hrs a day 7 days a week Don't think there's much money to be made from the forum lol - Posted from rhpmobile

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Hellenheels' Just pissed myself laughing at this... What an arse! Blonde Gypsy, was she from this site? Come on lady, just get on here and let us all know why you turned the cold shoulder... Lol She is but I would never name and shame. I would pay money to find out what it was though, even if she came on the forum and said I was mega creepy! lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    A fake profile. For the record, I've always been a DT/JR fan - she seems like a pretty smart, decent girl. If she validated a guy I'd probably rate him more highly and automatically assume he's a decent one, or at least not a total wanker. No point being intimidated.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Qefenta' some women, believe it or not, can be intimidated by hot men...you have a validation from Jessica Rabbit...there is a whole thread dedicated to her hotness.....she may have felt that she couldn't live up to that standard Yep that would intimidate me. I probably wouldn't even met a guy that had a validation from JR... no way I could live up to that. I would be intimidated too. @ blond_gypsy, maybe message her and ask hey? unless she still has you on her block list?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Was there much hot and explicit communication going on? If the answer is yes then I am afraid to say your frustration may only be for a figment of some perv's mind. Unfortunately sites like this are the happy playground for those that get off on the sex talk and pretend to be someone they are not, and play the role of the gender not theirs. What you described is very much their MO. So don'y let a failed date get to you for a real person would not have blocked you, and would have given you an explanation or a sorry.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Sly, scheming,lying yellow bellied turd by the sounds of it

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Brace yourself gypsy boy , to get led on , stood up , fucked around no end , wait till you get hit on asked out lined up chatted endlessly and for what ??? Well as long as you have given her confidence gypsy boy you can hold your head high as you have helped a needy insecure girl feel better about herself ! Well done mate only problem you will have to hold your own cock !!;-(( Gotta go down to go up ;-)) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    This isn't particularly aimed at Jessica Rabbit, but at the phenomenon mentioned in regards to women being intimidated by her (or others) hotness. We can be our own worst enemies and bring ourselves down more effectively than anyone else can. Is it intimidating thinking "this" person has been with "that" person and how can I follow that? It shouldn't be. Can I offer what Jessica Rabbit offers? Nope, I cannot. I don't have the hard body of a girl in her 20's and probably have more lines around my eyes than she has seen painted in the middle of the road. But she cannot offer what I do either. I think most genuine, intelligent men know each has it's merits and don't make the shallow comparison that we (some ladies) do. Basically, we ladies need to give ourselves a break!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'EuropianBliss' Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Just a thought..... ever wondered how many profiles are fake.... not created by bored and lonely twits typing naked with one free hand..... but created by the website to increase traffic?! It's happened before. ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile ha ha hilarious comment Im sure they make a lot more money from organised events. After all its just us old farts looking for a root that keeps this place going. :P

  • JessicaRabbit

    JessicaRabbit

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'ApolloThirteen' This isn't particularly aimed at Jessica Rabbit, but at the phenomenon mentioned in regards to women being intimidated by her (or others) hotness. We can be our own worst enemies and bring ourselves down more effectively than anyone else can. Is it intimidating thinking "this" person has been with "that" person and how can I follow that? It shouldn't be. Can I offer what Jessica Rabbit offers? Nope, I cannot. I don't have the hard body of a girl in her 20's and probably have more lines around my eyes than she has seen painted in the middle of the road. But she cannot offer what I do either. I think most genuine, intelligent men know each has it's merits and don't make the shallow comparison that we (some ladies) do. Basically, we ladies need to give ourselves a break! Couldn't have said it better myself! Kinda make me feel like shit reading what Meeka and Nat said - no one (unless they are a total asshole) would like hearing that they make someone else feel that way about themselves. I don't have the ass and sass of Meeka or the boobs and lips of Nat. I don't have the experience and confidence of a sexy, older woman. I try not to compare myself when standing next to a taller woman with gorgeous legs as long as my entire body, because it just makes me feel like a frumpy little girl. Point is we've all got something different to offer and nobody appeals to everybody. Anyway, to get back on topic, Gypsy we all get stood up and are rarely given a reason. I had one guy do exactly what you did and heard not a peep after I sent a text as I was about to walk out the door. Spare your thoughts for someone who deserves them, not someone who wastes your time - whatever the reason. If they don't have the common decency to get in contact with you, they're really not worth bothering about.

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Nat27' Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Qefenta' some women, believe it or not, can be intimidated by hot men...you have a validation from Jessica Rabbit...there is a whole thread dedicated to her hotness.....she may have felt that she couldn't live up to that standard Yep that would intimidate me. I probably wouldn't even met a guy that had a validation from JR... no way I could live up to that. I would be intimidated too. @ blond_gypsy, maybe message her and ask hey? unless she still has you on her block list? Still on her block list, so can't contact her. I sent her a text afterwards politely requesting an explanation, nothing.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Hahaha fuck that noise. I had this happen to me a few times when I first signed up to RHP. It really sucks - and a complete nonsensical waste of time and self esteem. It is the main reason I very rarely message anyone these days. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'JessicaRabbit' Quoting 'ApolloThirteen' This isn't particularly aimed at Jessica Rabbit, but at the phenomenon mentioned in regards to women being intimidated by her (or others) hotness. We can be our own worst enemies and bring ourselves down more effectively than anyone else can. Is it intimidating thinking "this" person has been with "that" person and how can I follow that? It shouldn't be. Can I offer what Jessica Rabbit offers? Nope, I cannot. I don't have the hard body of a girl in her 20's and probably have more lines around my eyes than she has seen painted in the middle of the road. But she cannot offer what I do either. I think most genuine, intelligent men know each has it's merits and don't make the shallow comparison that we (some ladies) do. Basically, we ladies need to give ourselves a break! Couldn't have said it better myself! Kinda make me feel like shit reading what Meeka and Nat said - no one (unless they are a total asshole) would like hearing that they make someone else feel that way about themselves. I don't have the ass and sass of Meeka or the boobs and lips of Nat. I don't have the experience and confidence of a sexy, older woman. I try not to compare myself when standing next to a taller woman with gorgeous legs as long as my entire body, because it just makes me feel like a frumpy little girl. Point is we've all got something different to offer and nobody appeals to everybody. Anyway, to get back on topic, Gypsy we all get stood up and are rarely given a reason. I had one guy do exactly what you did and heard not a peep after I sent a text as I was about to walk out the door. Spare your thoughts for someone who deserves them, not someone who wastes your time - whatever the reason. If they don't have the common decency to get in contact with you, they're really not worth bothering about. On the subject of intimidation, it's all very silly to me. Everyone has their own qualities. I wouldn't message someone if I wasn't attracted to them, simple as that. I appreciate the advice everyone. I guess I'll just have to live with it :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting Blond_GypsyI didn't actually consider the scenario that I freaked her out somehow as I hadn't said anything else after we agreed to meet. Most of us guys are still working this one out... I know I am! I would regularly fall into this trap. "YAY, got the meet, work is done...." & Flake. Thinking what did I do wrong!! Once you agree to meet, keep talking to her, not too much don't be needy but something fun every now & again...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I bet she is one of those people that loves to collect photos as well

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'JessicaRabbit' Couldn't have said it better myself! Kinda make me feel like shit reading what Meeka and Nat said - no one (unless they are a total asshole) would like hearing that they make someone else feel that way about themselves. I don't have the ass and sass of Meeka or the boobs and lips of Nat. I don't have the experience and confidence of a sexy, older woman. I try not to compare myself when standing next to a taller woman with gorgeous legs as long as my entire body, because it just makes me feel like a frumpy little girl. Point is we've all got something different to offer and nobody appeals to everybody.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I bailed on an arranged meeting from here once when I was really fresh, but I messaged him the day before to tell him I had terrible cold feet and was canning it. He never replied, which made me worry he was angry, but hey, at least I messaged. I now realise that what I think I can do through RHP and what I can ACTUALLY do, are two different things :/

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    My intention wasn't to make you feel bad and it isn't anything personal at all! I know you are an intelligent gorgeous woman and I wouldn't dream of taking that away from you. Just what some of us chicks do.... And I agree we are out own worst critics. When I look in the mirror I see all the bad points first usually. Wait until you hit 40 And everything starts pointing at the floor. LOL. xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Sorry, I just wanted to add that this is a first impression type of thing which of course changes if you get to know the person. But when you are flicking through profiles then yes, all his friends are 20's or really slim or really gorgeous, etc I would not be his type.... So you call next.

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Balllard' Once you agree to meet, keep talking to her, not too much don't be needy but something fun every now & again... This is so important. If you go silent I for one think "oh well, he has moved on" and then I do as well.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Put her number on the public toilet door .... bwahahahaha .... just kidding! Things go threw peoples heads when they want to meet ,she probably just got cold feet.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    No matter how awesome we all are, we all those things that we are insecure about... Live in ANYONE'S head for 5 minutes and you'll be astounded by what reasons their mind has created to explain why they could be "less than" everyone else. Dont believe those bastard inner voices, each and every person on here is a gem in their own right. Xxx lovelove - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Heya Blonde Gypsy, As it turns out I had you double booked on the day we were due to meet..... The double booking was with my gender reassignment and as usual the Dr was running late. As I was heavily anaesthetized I was unable to text you..... this would also explain why my profile was off-line as it needed to be updated! Thank you for posting this forum thread, and I belive you now have the close you were hoping for. Regards, AB

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Couple of things: 1. maybe the tone or something you had said in past conversation or after the stand up gave her an unsure feeling about you..eg. pressurised, aggressive, frustrated or angry tones can be put offs...thus blocking? 2. Baggage.. men think the will be stood up are likely to be....signals alarm bells for others .3. maybe work came up or family or friend issues....can leave people cold. but she should have replied and told you why. 4. if you go quiet, so will she...after all in real life she probably doesn't need 'follow' up so much 5. no expectation or commitment...is assumed...dont go to meet if she hasnt said yes i will meet you. i hope this helps, i am sure most feel bad abt not meeting, i know i need messages with ppl so i can gain insight into their character and personality...afterall, physical needs are satisfied, you dont want to find out that they are douche bags ...so a bit of screening on my part is involved...given i have the option of choice..to be direct and honest.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    ps some women need patience and encouragement especially if they dont usually meet people online... yes this is me, but if the guys dont want to waste time ...i say move onto the next gal, their lost..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    We all bring our own sexy. I am not a 20 something but I am still a vibrant sexy lady. So I do not get intimidated. Do I have my insecurities. Sure I do. Could lose 5kgs. But everyone does. As for disappearing lady. You will never know I guess. But who cares. Her loss - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Don't beat yourself up about it. Her loss. Open your mind up to other possibilities and they'll eventuate.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Balllard' Quoting Blond_GypsyI didn't actually consider the scenario that I freaked her out somehow as I hadn't said anything else after we agreed to meet. Most of us guys are still working this one out... I know I am! I would regularly fall into this trap. "YAY, got the meet, work is done...." & Flake. Thinking what did I do wrong!! Once you agree to meet, keep talking to her, not too much don't be needy but something fun every now & again... Well done Ballard you hit the nail on the head. KEEP IN CONTACT!!!! We all assume the worst..He has lost interest in me. He just wanted to see if I would say yes to a date. He has found someone else to meet. He got what he wanted and that was a naked cyber wank session.....and so on. A simple good morning text every day to start your day is all that is needed or a good nite only 2 sleeps to go until we meet. (I look out for this gesture with a man I plan to meet, if I hear nothing I delete his number, if he texts 4 weeks down the track, I love asking who is this????....it's like a slap in the face to them) So So So simple....people need to stop thinking big gestures go a long way...Women love the small details..things you remember about us, things we like, it can be as cheap as strawberries and chocolate dipping sauce, what type of coffee we drink and what out pets name is....your paying attention to us when we speak...not thinking god I wish she would shut up so I can put my moves on here and get the sex I came here for!!!! KISS.....Keep It Simple Stupid. Do not wait 2 weeks to meet someone for a coffee or a drink, Do not waste your time if they cannot meet for a no expectations face to face after work or lunch on a weekend and do it quickly. I have asked men to meet me within an hour of a message. If they say oh I am at work or I am away at the mines I say well I am on here now because I have free time to meet someone today. Thanks for the message and chat but sorry I don't know what I am doing 2 weeks away from now and by then I will have forgotten you.....YOU JUST GOT NEXTED!!!! These sites are the bane of the new disposable society we live in.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The silent treatment hurts but is also a redlight that the person is an asshole and they have probably done you a favour. That said, it takes nothing to let someone know you are no longer interested. RHP has the quick replies if you can't find the right words yourself. Not doing so is damn rude and cruel.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I normally read the forums a lot, but don't say much.. I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading this thread. Highlighted some dodgy/less than perfect manners up front, but followed with some surprisingly raw honest, genuine, ethical discussion...didn't degenerate into snideness, but rather with validation and 'community spirit', articulated with style and grace Thank you for the raw honesty to those who gave it. We are all human and all have insecurities. I never notice a few wrinkles, a few kilos, or a slightly dropped bum on anyone I meet...to busy worried about the way I look..for all the women on this thread, who admitted to having insecurities....you all looked/sounded beautiful to me. Good karma everyone:-).

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I have never been stood up...I am tough and a straight shooter, I don't put up with bullshit. The men find it refreshing to know where they stand with me and my honesty....Most men are nervous on a date, they don't get to meet people as often as women do..we have the upper hand with that....They are always told upfront it is without expectations, most men find it intimidating to have to meet outwardly sexual female predators. I have noticed in various chat rooms the women who are overtly sexual and easy to bed are often the ones stood up by the men. Because they complain about it in the chat rooms. In saying all that and on a lighter note....gawd I wish a lot of them had stood me up......hahahahaha I have been disappointed so many times by liars that I have lost my excitability for a date and just go along with a so so attitude.

  • Aimtoplease83

    Aimtoplease83

    11 years ago

    Shit happens mate, onwards and upwards ;) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    That Jessica Rabbit could possibly have any esteem issues. The lacking-in-confidence part of me understands from personal experience, though dagnabbit I've seen JR's profile & wonder what part of her wouldn't give most guys raised blood pressure. Uhh, on topic... I had a similar experience with what I now believe to be a male collector of images. :-/

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Think on the bright side! At least you know that whatever you MIGHT have done or said wrong to put her off, at least it was not because she didn't like you, your scent, your kissing, your dick, your lovemaking, what you did or didn't do in bed... Whatever. She just bailed out beforehand for whatever reason, after all... Too bad, but don't waste your time thinking about it! Many women experience these sort of "disappearing acts" AFTER they guy HAS slept with them! Just imagine how many "WHY?" that behavior leaves in the girl's head!! If she was put off by the quality your validations, maybe she was feeling so much less worthy that.... Maybe she was much less worthy? So... Maybe it was not such a big loss for you? E

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Hi, short-time listener, first time caller... I think that what you two are saying above highlight the appeal to many of us of a reasonable ability to communicate. On the other hand, these preferences are also not exactly universal, whether to all women, or both genders. I am sure that many women, for example, would get exasperated if a geezer they already lined up a meet with began sending them good night / anticipatory messages every day. The meet date would probably be taking place in the next two-three days, so you could argue that it needn't be 'validated' until the actual day. It's assumed that you want to do it. We all have other things going on in our lives, and once we've given or been given the 'real life go-ahead', there's no need to affirm this desire too much. However, I totally get what you both mean, and for many people (including myself), it's an appealing, positive trait to feel someone's interest in that way. But for others, the same gesture can be a little too much too soon. Neither side is wrong. Similarly, not all are too fussed about meeting someone within one or two days of first contact. Again, this totally depends on one's personality, schedule, degree of comfortability in meeting an 'unknown sex fiend', or even the ...erm... cycles of the moon. Two people might chat once or twice, no biggie, and then down the track one might have the notion to contact the other with more a specific purpose. So once again it's a case of preferences, and I am sure that no two members are alike. Just as there's no way we'll appeal to everyone we'd like to appeal to (as pointed out in the posts addressing our insecurities in this environment), we won't gel in our preferences for communication with everyone we may have started a dialog with. So there'll be plenty of unpredictable mishaps, just like with any other cringeworthy exchanges in our lives that we wince at thinking of!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    From reading this thread - no wonder why I get so many thanks and appreciative comments when I respond to messages - even if it is to say 'sorry - no can do'.People on RHP aren't real until I actually meet them face-to-face - the cyber world gives everyone false bravado and those who like fecking people about are probably unfit & overweight assholes that feel superior behind a keyboard - but get them out in the real world they wouldn't know how to ask a shop assistant which aisle the condoms are in. Feel pity towards - but better off don't feel anything for them - there are way more happy, friendly people out there to discover

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    A persons self esteem and their looks are not linked. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone worries about the same thing. "God she's beautiful, I'd really love to get her back home, tear her clothes off, and all sorts of things to her!! But, ahhh fuck it I'm probably not her type!!" This reversed looks a little like:- "Omg he's looking at me. Ok keep your tits on, play it cool, smile at him maybe he'll come over and talk....or maybe I should go over and talk to him?? Would he be get offended if I did that?? Ahh fuck it maybe I'm not his type?? Omg maybe it's my hair?? Is it my arse?? Ok he's looking at me again *melt*....why isn't he coming over?? God I want that man.....I want him to take me home and ravish me, but I can't approach him as I'll look too eager, and I don't want him thinking I'm easy" - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Great post :) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I've never flaked on a date after setting it up, but I'm admittedly very bad at keeping in contact with people I meet up with and message. This is usually for two reasons. First it might not have anything to do with you. Often I lose contact simply because I get busy with my life outside of RHP, and RHP isn't my first priority in life. So you never know. Maybe her grandma died? Work got busy? She's in hospital? Who knows. Second, since young women are in such low numbers on this site I find that most people who message me are much more interested in me than I am in them. It can get exhausting to deal with. I think most women are socialized to be agreeable, not confrontational. I think young women often haven't had the time and experience to undo this socialization, and its easier to play along if you are being pursued than to stop things. It's certainly not an excuse for bad behavior, but it is a reality. I know its something I'm still working on. It's why I have locked my profile and decided to only send messages for a while instead of waiting around to receive them from potential playmates. That way I actually have to stop and think critically about whether I actually want to be in contact with a person. Don't beat yourself up about it or take it personally. Good communication is a learned skill. She probably isn't there yet.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Zentrel' I am sure that many women, for example, would get exasperated if a geezer they already lined up a meet with began sending them good night / anticipatory messages every day. The meet date would probably be taking place in the next two-three days, so you could argue that it needn't be 'validated' until the actual day. It's assumed that you want to do it. We all have other things going on in our lives, and once we've given or been given the 'real life go-ahead', there's no need to affirm this desire too much. I prefer not to give someone my number until the day we are supposed to meet for that exact reason.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Stir_it_alot'A persons self esteem and their looks are not linked. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone worries about the same thing. Which is why I get annoyed when people say things like "She's beautiful and she knows it". How do you know? And the man I think is stunning may be concerned about his lack of abs and beginning bald spot. . A long time ago I mentioned to a man I wouldn't mind him saying I was beautiful every now and then. He responded with "Why would I? You obviously know that already". That hurt my feelings, as he assumed something that sounded like I was up myself and wasn't even true. . People tend to not see themselves as others do.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Nice one!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting JessicaRabbit: " I don't have the ass and sass of Meeka or the boobs and lips of Nat. I don't have the experience and confidence of a sexy, older woman. I try not to compare myself when standing next to a taller woman with gorgeous legs as long as my entire body, because it just makes me feel like a frumpy little girl. Point is we've all got something different to offer and nobody appeals to everybody." Jessica, you have an amazing body, you're friendly, you're intelligent, you're funny, and you're humble too. Gorgeous on the inside and out. Kudos to you for this post. That was so refreshing.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    If you meet someone and you are not interested. Then wouldn't the easiest option be to say, not interested. The ratio of guys to girls on this site doesn't apply whilst meeting them does it? Pretty sure it is about 1:1 by that point. There are a lot of excuses. But I don't think one needs a great deal of time (maybe 15 seconds), and standard levels of communication skills - to say not interested. I hear this story way too often. And have had a couple similar experiences myself. To me this is just lack of empathy - and has nothing to do with social conditioning. Luckily, there are few girls that are like this.

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    11 years ago

    but I'm so distracted slickz Good lord, that's a hot photo!Thankyou, I love eye candy

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    We all have insecurities, it doesn't stop when someone becomes pretty. I'd give at least $2 to figure out this mystery though :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Totally... Your description is exactly how it is. I look at JR & say "Wow." I have women tell me I'm handsome & gorgeous too, but I'm way too shit scared to say hi to someone of the opposite sex most of the time for fear of the "Yuck!" I got as a 10 year old. Your post is spot on.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Mesmerised' And the man I think is stunning may be concerned about his lack of abs and beginning bald spot. @Mesmerised - that was me :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Up there with one of the best threads I have read so far, collectively heart-warming and extremely positive. I got stood up on my very first RHP meet, on another profile well over a year ago now. My second meet was only a social one on my first trip to Sydney (at the amazing Opera House Bar) and to this day in my life was one of the best dates I've ever been on. Some moments kill your confidence, others you don't even expect fill you with more than you bargained for. Life's a roller coaster, just enjoy the thrills when they happen and the rest won't even matter :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You do not know what happened. Think of the best worst case scenario and run with that. She got AIDS and didn't want to give it to you. Also, never ever cut contact from agreed meet to date of such. you should have teased her knickers off before you laid eyes on. Silly human.But... Simplest answer is usually the correct one. FAKE!! NEXT!! RA PS I don't usually say this about other guys, but you are a good looking man. You'll live.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It still surprises me that there are so many with so much more to offer in looks and mind then me that are still lacking in confidence. GuitarDude surely this can not be true that you still find it difficult to approach women? I have wondered at this many times in the past as apart from a time in my late teens I have never had any inhibitions or fear when approaching anyone. Maybe its the fact that I know I am just ordinary and I am not bound with the need to have them think anything but what I long ago accepted. If they think yuck there are few that would let that be known. The rare occasion that has happened I think was more embarrassing for them than me, its seldom deliberate, it just slips out. I do at times envy the blind, its so much easier for them to see beauty. Mesmerised: You certainly are an enigma, not your outward confidence or the normal human sensibilities, just flashes of something lost or maybe that is part of the act, I just cant seem to work it out. Yet you have my admiration as one of the few level headed posters here (that's the beauty a blindman would see.) though we seldom see eye to eye. I totally agree that for all of us what we see in the mirror is clouded by self assessment and bares only a vague resemblance to what the world sees. Its the people that are close that can inadvertently cut a little to close to the bone, and for me at least the awful truth. With a shrug and a dueful smile its quickly forgotten, why waste time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Somewhere in the East a penny just dropped.

  • precious142

    precious142

    11 years ago

    you must be sooo devastated!how about we meet for a drink and you can rant all you like! seriously though, don't do your pretty blond locks over it.....happens to the best of us and when we all learn to toughen up, go with the flow, don't take it all too seriously and most of all - enjoy!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Blindman67' Mesmerised: You certainly are an enigma, not your outward confidence or the normal human sensibilities, just flashes of something lost or maybe that is part of the act, I just cant seem to work it out. Yet you have my admiration as one of the few level headed posters here (that's the beauty a blindman would see.) though we seldom see eye to eye. I know, right? I agreed with one of your posts a few days ago and my eye is still twitching. . Not sure about what I've lost, except for Jay_me's respect apparently. And that still smarts. . <---- See? Eye twitch.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    dodged a bullet mate... Feel happy about that :)

  • blond_gypsy

    blond_gypsy

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'RandomAgent' You do not know what happened. Think of the best worst case scenario and run with that. She got AIDS and didn't want to give it to you. Also, never ever cut contact from agreed meet to date of such. you should have teased her knickers off before you laid eyes on. Silly human.But... Simplest answer is usually the correct one. FAKE!! NEXT!! RA PS I don't usually say this about other guys, but you are a good looking man. You'll live. Thanks for the kind words. Funnily enough we were chatting furiously right up until the night before the date. It's almost as if she slept on it and decided it was all a bad idea.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Since I can not validate this handsome guy because I would never give my face pic to RHP to become verified.... I just wanted to say something here... I went for a walk in the park and a chat with Blond Gypsy once, he has the face of an angel and the naughty mind of a devil! Pleasant, cute, very intelligent... She was an idiot for blowing you off like that Gypsy!! And it is bad manners not to explain oneself to another after you have chatted like crazy! Forget you ever contacted her!..... Enif ;-)

  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    11 years ago

    Man, I see right through you. You have no problems with that swagger and that great big soft heart of yours. Women will melt at the wink of an eye. No doubt she, if it was actually woman, felt way out of her standing and has told far too many lies to get you there to feel comfortable actually meeting. This kind of thing happens to me all the time for the same reason. HugsGazza

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    That's really insensitive and completely rude. What a horrible person, you're better off not meeting her actually, wouldn't want to associate with someone as inconsiderate as that. Hope your luck gets better..