F61
'The one' the needle in the haystack
October 09 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
that all the ones that tick the right boxes are gone at our age but I've come across two who don't want to commit to a relationship, after a couple of divorces, and the financial ruin it has left them in. I can't blame them after the crap I've been through with my two breakups. Currently having a downer about lack of companionship but it's probably just hormones....and the after effects of daylight saving starting! Just keeping myself busy.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yep maybe all I know is I work way too much and everyone's telling me to go out. I don't know if O come across the wrong way and ppl think I'm full of it becoz I'm nice or if I've just lost my balls last time I checked they were still there haha.. Jeezzz maybe manners and respect and just straight out being honest isn't the way to go these days maybe being an arse really is the way to go. It is pretty sad to be honest to see so many hot looking women with kids that run with the arsehole until they really discovered how piss weak he was when a little responsibility edged his way. Not that having kids is a big deal but it would be a good deal to have my own one day. Ehhh ah well there's my 2c if any ladies want to have a good time with a respectful bloke with a wildside that's only pleasing I'm right here. :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't have an ex I'd want back for a reason, even that really great guy whom I split with because we wanted to live in different countries. It just wasn't meant to be, and following each other's lives on Facebook makes that clear. It would be nice at some point to find someone whom I share that intimate and mental connection with, whom I love and who loves me. Not yet though, am still enjoying being single too much. Not too worried I won't find that guy, I would like to but don't have to have a man to fill a hole (ok I do, but that's a different hole), so it's more a want than a need. I'm noticing I'm meeting more single men now then when I was in my thirties though, when they were all still married.
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QLDtwo4fun
9 years ago
People move in and out of relationships. I met the wrong one first, got married, had two kids, and got divorced. The right one walked into my life when I least expected it. We weren't always swingers, but we were always horny, and we have always had an intellectual connection.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
My thoughts on this...... if that undeniable person presents themself, even to someone who is a dedicated single..... then plans change. Until then...... I'll live a full and adventurous life...and not miss out on any of the options...... . and the audition process continues 😄 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Re: ticking boxes: I don't think it's likely to find someone who ticks ALL the boxes, all of the time. People change and even at one point, new discoveries about yourself and your interests lead to new wants, needs, desires and interests. Having the majority of similar interests obviously helps though. Perhaps most important is having a similar approach to life and/or lifestyle, and a willingness & flexibility & communication needed to go through life together, and make adjustments that best suit both people at any particular stage. Re: finding "the one": See above. I don't believe in "the" one, but rather a selection of very well suited individuals who you may or may not come across while searching or by accident. Having not made it work with such well suited person once (last year) who did tick the boxes at the time (and like yourself I'm not out of the woods regarding emotional feedback as a result), I've since been in a period of greater learning about myself and others and the various ways that relationships can operate. I might never have explored swinging/parties etc had I not had this loss (and had to find some way of continuing to have a sex life solo), but maybe I still would have as I discovered I was a naturally exploratory person sexually. In any case I don't regret having to let her go, not that I wanted it, but in hindsight it was for the best as I think I've matured more, and now I can try to get the ball rolling on the rest of my life (sexually and otherwise). She is doing well with a new partner so I have to wish her all the best. Re: what I'm looking for: The basics haven't changed. Someone to share life together - sex, travel, companionship, sex, must love dogs, cuddles, to be touched and held, somewhat similar likes in movies/events/entertainment etc, sex. I'm in an exploratory phase of my life and while I could settle somewhat for love, I would prefer an openness to swinging together and/or flexibility in a relationship to allow such interests to continue. But those needs may change in the future and that's the point - life is highly variable and you need someone flexible enough to ride those changes together (assuming you do want someone for the long term).
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Insomnian
9 years ago
That usually you find someone that just seems to fit the best when you're totally not expecting it. Or maybe that's just what's happened to me in my life. I don't really despair about finding that one, as I'm perfectly happy just coming home from work to the soulful eyes of the shepherd I have. Always happy to see me, and always there with a paw when he senses times are tough. As far as letting the one slip through your fingers.... I believe as we mature, evolve, whichever way you wish to describe or look at it, our " the one" changes, because of what we want. Do I think I met the one and let her go.... Maybe my first love, but who knows, we can't predict what will happen next. Nice question open.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not from worrying about will I be lonely for the rest of my life but its comes from meeting the wrong ones. Hope that makes sense. Since facebook arrived a high school boyfriend keeps in touch. He is single now and has traveled his own path as have I. He always reminds me that I was his first love and still has deep feelings for me. But from 4000km away I guess I will never know what could be possible.
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Missb4u
9 years ago
Yeah come times I do think I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life. I watch friends and work colleagues separate and find new loves in such short timeframes. I have not been able to do so. maybe it will happen maybe it won't I try not to dwell on it but it does get me down sometimes. no I don't have an x I would take back. They are x's for a reason even if they were the ones that walked away.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' I watch friends and work colleagues separate and find new loves in such short timeframes. I have not been able to do so. you would find that quite a lot of people are willing to jump into relationships quite quickly for a number of reasons...it doesn't necessarily mean that they've found their 'soulmate' or 'the one' (terms I don't believe in anyway). We still live in a very couple / family-centric society and many people just don't want to be single, they are afraid of being alone. I used to be that way and I used to jump quickly into relationships that ended up as train wrecks because I got into them for the wrong reasons. So I don't think it's good to compare yourself to others, remember you don't know what's going on behind the scenes in their lives. I know that for me now it's much better to be single than to jump into a relationship with just anyone for the sake of it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
... otherwise known as having your eyes wide open I have no doubt it'll sneak up and find me when I least expect it - until then I'm hell bent on being truly happy in my own right regardless
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'll respond individually but just wanted to clarify this is not my ex husband, god no, he's an absolute angel, as are my kids, i never talk about them in here, only am now to make that clear. And i also am very happy, never been happier in my life, bursting with energy, i seem to look at the world now with big eyes, taking everything in like it's all new. It's awesome. Just be nice at some stage to share that and at the core of this for me is having someone to ravage when i wake up with them, or while they're doing the dishes, haha do you like that, there's no mention of 'me' doing the dishes, though i'd happily do dishes if i was going to, cough, be interfered with during the act. I appreciate this is a hard thing for people to talk about on a forum, my inbox is empty lol but all good, think they're still in bed
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RHP User
9 years ago
How often do people ask why someone is single (or even worse: still single)? I can remember anyone ever asking me why I had a boyfriend.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Have you not been able to find a new relationship, or have you not been willing to settle for the sake of being in one? :-)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I can NOT* remember anyone ever asking me why I had a boyfriend.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Looking for that bloody needle but sadly I don't think I have even found the haystack to begin with. To answer your question though OP 1. Many times I have despaired 2. Never regretted it but I would say possibly I have let a few things pass me by. Why? I do not really know just so many different reasons.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I separated from my wife 2 years and got my own place not long after, I've really enjoyed having my own place and living by myself for the first time in my life. I've had one short relationship in the last 2 years that highlighted to me what I do, and don't want in a relationship. So at present I'm happy to meet new people and make new friends, and if one of them turned out to be 'the one' that would be great. At present I don't despair that I won't meet anyone and I've learnt that taking your ex back is like buying your crap back from your own garage sale.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' How often do people ask why someone is single (or even worse: still single)? I can remember anyone ever asking me why I had a boyfriend. lol I know that one all too well Meander. Being in my early 30s and never having had a relationship or girlfriend means the "still single?" tag has been a thorn in my side for as long as I can remember. Im happy living the single life and hold no regrets in doing so, to the disbelief and horror of my family (and some friends). I feel that im an honest, loveable, down to earth kind of guy who would be a great catch for the right woman, but I also realised early in life that I was also a very open minded guy who is equally as happy taking a guy to bed as I am a woman (but strictly on a sexual level, no emotion attachment to men at all). Rather than hiding a secret life and risk the potential to deeply hurt a girlfriend later down the track, im quite content being single. If one day the right woman who understands and loves the "whole" me comes into my life then who knows, but she would have to be a very devious individual indeed hahaha
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Missb4u
9 years ago
I totally agree LD 👍👍 two thumbs up. Yeah that's what I mean meander, I won't settle, but do I have unrealistic expectations? I don't know the answers but I do know I won't enter into any kind of relationship just for the sake of it when it doesn't feel right. one of my favorite sayings is "I'd rather be alone for the right reasons then with someone for the wrong reasons".
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not right now, but eventually Id like to find someone and hopefully from RHP. The guys Ive met on here have been great not only as in sexual compatibility, but have all been lovely, lovely, men. I was seeing someone outwith RHP who was a great guy but, when I brought up dating sites and RHP, he made a comment about the weirdos who were on them, so that was that. I have a lot of friends Ive made on here who are dear to me and I wont be giving them up! Ive even come to realise that if Im in a relationship that it would maybe be an open one, but whatever happens, Id love to meet someone open minded and happy to be who they are and not what others want them to be.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...but like a few have suggested, I'm open to pretty much any possibilities as long as the attraction is completely there.I'm not and never have been a serial relation-shipper. My experiences a few years ago taught me that when I'm least looking for someone or something, thats when it finds me.When I analysed my new found popularity...at the time...the conclusion I came to was that my self-confidence was at an all time high, and it showed. I'm not the best looking, the brightest, the funniest...but you don't have to be when your happy in yourself I found.Just like they say animals can smell fear, I think we can smell confidence too...and neediness in others for that matter,which is as effective a repellent as any.But...experience taught me too that when your on to a good thing, both parties still have to work at it. You can't sit back and rest on your laurels as though the battle is won and there won't be any more to come.That's not a new revelation of course...just one that's quickly forgotten in the heady highs of victory.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have to say I'm not sure what I'm looking for either. At this moment id probably say new experiences. But if someone came into my life and I felt the need/desire to work at a relationship then I would. I have to say though my mind isn't open to one yet. And that's a hurdle I have to get over. So as far as looking for the one goes I think you both have to be open to it. And I'm not.
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
That quote - I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons - is gold. I'm using that. I too watch every person I know in and out of work seem to get hooked up within two weeks of a breakup. At first I thought there was something wrong with me, until I realised I wasn't going to have a relationship just for the sake of it. Of my 45 years, I've been single for 30. I wouldn't mind a GF if that circumstance came along, but (and there have been opportunities) at this stage of my life I'm not settling for second best. History tells me I go 6 years between serious relationships. I've got 3 1/2 to go by that standard, so I'll let you know how I'm travelling in April 2019. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Andy092015' I was also a very open minded guy who is equally as happy taking a guy to bed as I am a woman (but strictly on a sexual level, no emotion attachment to men at all). Rather than hiding a secret life and risk the potential to deeply hurt a girlfriend later down the track, im quite content being single. If one day the right woman who understands and loves the "whole" me comes into my life then who knows, but she would have to be a very devious individual indeed hahaha I love that, couldn't agree more.
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
Yes, I think it is a bit like finding a needle in a hay stack. Sometimes though it is easier to find the needle if you jump in the hay stack, and maybe the needle sticks you in the arse (or some other part) haha. It does surprise me though how many new couples (even in their forties and previously married) say this person ticks all the boxes and is my life partner or soul mate, never felt like this before and will never again, blah blah blah. And they are separated a few years later. So someone who "ticks all the boxes" is not necessarily the right person. I don't think there is such a thing as "ticks all the boxes". I believe you need the majority of boxes ticked, the most important ones like honesty, integrity, values, sex, mutual attraction (both physically & intellectually) probably some others, then others not so important can be a compromise, as you can't always have it all your own way, therefore some compromise is required. In my humble opinion.
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
and still haven't come up with a definitive answer. I think that is because I don't view 'the one' as being the ultimate aim of my life. I don't believe one person can be all to me for the rest of my life. I had that view with my ex and it didn't work for me; we grew apart and he refused to accept I had changed through personal growth and learning and had emerged with different life priorities to him. Does that mean that I haven't ever have thought 'hey this person really is rocking my world and I want to be with them and see where the journey takes us' - no it doesn't. That has happened and I have have absolutely loved the time we shared together. It means I wouldn't rely on them for everything - the one and only person for the rest of my life. I can't guarantee that...realistically, can anyone?? But the intention is always to make them the most special person in my life while they wish to be.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am in the same boat as you itouch! I have been involve in some quite abusive relationships with the wrong people because I compromised.If it is the right person for you, you will knowit!The sex will be mind blowing and you will just fit. That's my opinion and although lonliness is the hardest thing to cope with. Maybe I am totally niave but I hope you find your perfect guy
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have tried to post on this topic..phttt
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm really happy with my single status at the moment, so finding someone isn't on my radar right now. To be honest, I'm not sure it ever will be. I have experienced deep love in a relationship before, but I won't despair if I never find again... I'm happy to have had it in the first place. I've also experienced deep unhappiness in a relationship, and can honestly say that I've never been as lonely as I was when I was in that relationship. I will never allow that to happen again. To answer your second question OP, there are people who have 'slipped through my fingers'. But I've never regretted the time that I had with them nor do I regret the fact that they 'got away'. With hindsight, I can see that it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
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RHP User
9 years ago
so, no I never despair at not finding "the one". But happy to have as much fun looking for him as I can. I'll know he's "the one" when I can be completely myself around him without judgement or expectations. When you know you are good together without having to compromise. Most of all, that chemistry will be sizzling with matching libidos. LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' I have tried to post on this topic..phttt How come you couldn't post?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I don't have an ex I'd want back for a reason, even that really great guy whom I split with because we wanted to live in different countries. It just wasn't meant to be, and following each other's lives on Facebook makes that clear. It would be nice at some point to find someone whom I share that intimate and mental connection with, whom I love and who loves me. Not yet though, am still enjoying being single too much. Not too worried I won't find that guy, I would like to but don't have to have a man to fill a hole (ok I do, but that's a different hole), so it's more a want than a need. I'm noticing I'm meeting more single men now then when I was in my thirties though, when they were all still married. to fill those holes in one's life haha and acknowledge there are some things we need a man for mmm more single men coming on the market, that's encouraging
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' My thoughts on this...... if that undeniable person presents themself, even to someone who is a dedicated single..... then plans change. Until then...... I'll live a full and adventurous life...and not miss out on any of the options...... . and the audition process continues 😄 - Posted from rhpmobile so sign ups at 8 oclock? Gotta love the audition process hmm
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Countrychic1962' that all the ones that tick the right boxes are gone at our age but I've come across two who don't want to commit to a relationship, after a couple of divorces, and the financial ruin it has left them in. I can't blame them after the crap I've been through with my two breakups. Currently having a downer about lack of companionship but it's probably just hormones....and the after effects of daylight saving starting! Just keeping myself busy. are understandably cautious of losing more through another relationship or marriage, and like you say, all the other issues that go with it. I'm not keen on ever marrying again, although I would if a guy really wanted that, but I wouldn't want him to feel committed to me. Either way, that doesn't protect them financially anyway, but if I were a guy, I wouldn't let that stop me. Money isn't as important as sharing something special with another person, for me at least, so the risk is there sure, but you only live once I say and if that person crosses your path, sometimes it's better to throw caution to the wind. Easy for me to say, it's okay though, they can all come and live with me under the bridge haha Sydney Harbour Bridge I think, may as well go for 5 star accommodation, and think of the parties we could have under there, New Years would be awesome, we'd be making our own fireworks
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'RogueBo' Yep maybe all I know is I work way too much and everyone's telling me to go out. I don't know if O come across the wrong way and ppl think I'm full of it becoz I'm nice or if I've just lost my balls last time I checked they were still there haha.. Jeezzz maybe manners and respect and just straight out being honest isn't the way to go these days maybe being an arse really is the way to go. It is pretty sad to be honest to see so many hot looking women with kids that run with the arsehole until they really discovered how piss weak he was when a little responsibility edged his way. Not that having kids is a big deal but it would be a good deal to have my own one day. Ehhh ah well there's my 2c if any ladies want to have a good time with a respectful bloke with a wildside that's only pleasing I'm right here. :-) - Posted from rhpmobile I feel for you more so because you haven't yet had kids, plenty of time left yet though. You're only young. It's a strange thing you know, I got to a stage where I was happy my kids were growing and enjoyed the freedom that comes from them being more independent, and never considered having more, but now that I'm too old, I'm feeling sad that I'll never get to have another baby?? Isn't that stupid? What a bizarre thing at my age. God I'd be a hundred by the time they graduated
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'QLDtwo4fun' People move in and out of relationships. I met the wrong one first, got married, had two kids, and got divorced. The right one walked into my life when I least expected it. We weren't always swingers, but we were always horny, and we have always had an intellectual connection. A happy outcome for you, that's so great. And 'when I least expected it', think that's the point here isn't it, happens when it happens
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' Not right now, but eventually Id like to find someone and hopefully from RHP. The guys Ive met on here have been great not only as in sexual compatibility, but have all been lovely, lovely, men. I was seeing someone outwith RHP who was a great guy but, when I brought up dating sites and RHP, he made a comment about the weirdos who were on them, so that was that. I have a lot of friends Ive made on here who are dear to me and I wont be giving them up! Ive even come to realise that if Im in a relationship that it would maybe be an open one, but whatever happens, Id love to meet someone open minded and happy to be who they are and not what others want them to be. I feel the same, I want to meet someone from rhp so the compatability is there in all departments, no secrets right from the start, and people who are sexually active or open to this lifestyle, are no different to people who aren't with the other things they look for in a person. Funny, that guy was probably right, think we are weirdos, but we like it that way don't we
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'countrytouch' Re: ticking boxes: I don't think it's likely to find someone who ticks ALL the boxes, all of the time. People change and even at one point, new discoveries about yourself and your interests lead to new wants, needs, desires and interests. Having the majority of similar interests obviously helps though. Perhaps most important is having a similar approach to life and/or lifestyle, and a willingness & flexibility & communication needed to go through life together, and make adjustments that best suit both people at any particular stage. Re: finding "the one": See above. I don't believe in "the" one, but rather a selection of very well suited individuals who you may or may not come across while searching or by accident. Having not made it work with such well suited person once (last year) who did tick the boxes at the time (and like yourself I'm not out of the woods regarding emotional feedback as a result), I've since been in a period of greater learning about myself and others and the various ways that relationships can operate. I might never have explored swinging/parties etc had I not had this loss (and had to find some way of continuing to have a sex life solo), but maybe I still would have as I discovered I was a naturally exploratory person sexually. In any case I don't regret having to let her go, not that I wanted it, but in hindsight it was for the best as I think I've matured more, and now I can try to get the ball rolling on the rest of my life (sexually and otherwise). She is doing well with a new partner so I have to wish her all the best. Re: what I'm looking for: The basics haven't changed. Someone to share life together - sex, travel, companionship, sex, must love dogs, cuddles, to be touched and held, somewhat similar likes in movies/events/entertainment etc, sex. I'm in an exploratory phase of my life and while I could settle somewhat for love, I would prefer an openness to swinging together and/or flexibility in a relationship to allow such interests to continue. But those needs may change in the future and that's the point - life is highly variable and you need someone flexible enough to ride those changes together (assuming you do want someone for the long term). is indeed variable, great post, nodding reading it all, I did note sex being mention more than once on your list though but only the second time I read it so it almost slipped through unnoticed lol i also think not all the boxes will be ticked, shit if they were, my guy wouldn't have enough hours in a day, cook, clean, fuck me senseless, work, fuck me senseless, cook, clean, fuck me senseless, ring me from work for phone sex, he's gonna have his work cut out for him
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Insomnian' That usually you find someone that just seems to fit the best when you're totally not expecting it. Or maybe that's just what's happened to me in my life. I don't really despair about finding that one, as I'm perfectly happy just coming home from work to the soulful eyes of the shepherd I have. Always happy to see me, and always there with a paw when he senses times are tough. As far as letting the one slip through your fingers.... I believe as we mature, evolve, whichever way you wish to describe or look at it, our " the one" changes, because of what we want. Do I think I met the one and let her go.... Maybe my first love, but who knows, we can't predict what will happen next. Nice question open. Yeah I do believe everything happens for a reason, fate if you like, one thing steers us to other things further along, and good or bad, those things that happen to us, can have us arrive in a very happy place. What I mean is, if you do meet that awesome person, had other moves been made in your life, you would never have met them, I often think about that. Great movie I loved was Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow. That highlighted how different things can be, the different course her life took, right from when the train door shut, or not, with each scenario. Have you seen it? Probably more of a chick flick You're right too with 'the one' changing, that's so true
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'firesteve1969' I separated from my wife 2 years and got my own place not long after, I've really enjoyed having my own place and living by myself for the first time in my life. I've had one short relationship in the last 2 years that highlighted to me what I do, and don't want in a relationship. So at present I'm happy to meet new people and make new friends, and if one of them turned out to be 'the one' that would be great. At present I don't despair that I won't meet anyone and I've learnt that taking your ex back is like buying your crap back from your own garage sale.I'd stay away from those garage sales No crap here, situation was very different, but not talking about it. The important thing I have to remind myself of is that, if I was the one for him, he wouldn't have let me go, idiot, doesn't every man want a woman he has to pry off his dick to go to work haha
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Smilingwithfun
9 years ago
Are relationships perfect, no they are not. There is no perfect person only the perfect one that suits who we are. I think we look for perfection rather than what suits us. We are not perfect so perfection won't work.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'xKiwiBredx' ... otherwise known as having your eyes wide open I have no doubt it'll sneak up and find me when I least expect it - until then I'm hell bent on being truly happy in my own right regardless great word and perfectly put. I think what I struggle with is going out alone at my age, I don't want to look tragic, well I already do, lusting after hot young thangs, but I mean going out for dinner or to see a band, I wouldn't go by myself. Partly because I couldn't stand the thought of drunk men trying to hit on me in the pub environment. They see older women as 'grab a grannie' easy pickings, not true with me, but that kind of opens up the less than desirable contendants lol Love the beach though, company would be nice, but I'm never happier than when I'm swimming in the ocean or feeling the sand between my toes, or said other places. There was a time when I didn't live near a beach and only got there once a year. I used to tell my family I couldn't wait to feel the sand between my toes and the moment I got there and felt the grains of sand moving between my toes, was awesome. So in summer, I'm a happy camper, cold winter nights were a bit long though
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yes perfection is something I aim for Go for broke I say lol have the bar set pretty high at the moment, go hard or go home is my motto
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_silk' Not from worrying about will I be lonely for the rest of my life but its comes from meeting the wrong ones. Hope that makes sense. Since facebook arrived a high school boyfriend keeps in touch. He is single now and has traveled his own path as have I. He always reminds me that I was his first love and still has deep feelings for me. But from 4000km away I guess I will never know what could be possible. that's incredible. Ms silk I think you need to get on it, get on that long and winding road and go see him. How long is it since you've seen him?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' Yeah come times I do think I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life. I watch friends and work colleagues separate and find new loves in such short timeframes. I have not been able to do so. maybe it will happen maybe it won't I try not to dwell on it but it does get me down sometimes. no I don't have an x I would take back. They are x's for a reason even if they were the ones that walked away. Yeah, though I didn't it was the cause at the time, I now realise it was probably a case of 'he's just not that into you'. Hard realisation to accept but the right guy will come along one day, and I'll be ready for him, I'll be so ready haha
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'TisonlyI' Looking for that bloody needle but sadly I don't think I have even found the haystack to begin with. To answer your question though OP 1. Many times I have despaired 2. Never regretted it but I would say possibly I have let a few things pass me by. Why? I do not really know just so many different reasons. you're in the haystack, we're all in the haystack on rhp, just need to find that bloody needle
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Andy092015' Quoting 'Meander' How often do people ask why someone is single (or even worse: still single)? I can remember anyone ever asking me why I had a boyfriend. lol I know that one all too well Meander. Being in my early 30s and never having had a relationship or girlfriend means the "still single?" tag has been a thorn in my side for as long as I can remember. Im happy living the single life and hold no regrets in doing so, to the disbelief and horror of my family (and some friends). I feel that im an honest, loveable, down to earth kind of guy who would be a great catch for the right woman, but I also realised early in life that I was also a very open minded guy who is equally as happy taking a guy to bed as I am a woman (but strictly on a sexual level, no emotion attachment to men at all). Rather than hiding a secret life and risk the potential to deeply hurt a girlfriend later down the track, im quite content being single. If one day the right woman who understands and loves the "whole" me comes into my life then who knows, but she would have to be a very devious individual indeed hahaha honest, lovable and down to earth, and I've enjoyed reading your posts, I hope we hear a lot more from you in here. You speak from the heart, open and honest, and I really like that. The girl who ends up with you will indeed be very lucky
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I love that, couldn't agree more. Thankyou Meander, your feedback is certainly appreciated by this fella!! I am a newb when it comes to the forum component of the RHP website but have been trying to read and digest many various threads in the last day or so. It has been a bit of a revelation for me and has certainly been a very positive eye opener reading the opinions expressed. It seems that I have had quite a narrow perspective of how accepting a lot of women actually are when it comes to someones sexuality.....I guess I have been far too concerned about the response I would get talking about myself to women that im only just finding out the response could be very positive so why not put myself out there?? And who knows, a needle my size might even be found somewhere in the RHP haystack ;) Andy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...but like a few have suggested, I'm open to pretty much any possibilities as long as the attraction is completely there.I'm not and never have been a serial relation-shipper. My experiences a few years ago taught me that when I'm least looking for someone or something, thats when it finds me.When I analysed my new found popularity...at the time...the conclusion I came to was that my self-confidence was at an all time high, and it showed. I'm not the best looking, the brightest, the funniest...but you don't have to be when your happy in yourself I found.Just like they say animals can smell fear, I think we can smell confidence too...and neediness in others for that matter,which is as effective a repellent as any.But...experience taught me too that when your on to a good thing, both parties still have to work at it. You can't sit back and rest on your laurels as though the battle is won and there won't be any more to come.That's not a new revelation of course...just one that's quickly forgotten in the heady highs of victory. is absolutely a repellent hmm that is of course unless the neediness is of benefit to the other person I'm with you though on the serial relationshipper thing, I'd only go there if it was something I couldn't live without, and the sexual part is huge for me, it's the biggy, might sound shallow, but I start there, then think about other things. Without that, it just wouldn't work for me, hence my presence here, which I love. But I need to have the serious hots for someone and would need them to have the serious hots for me (well that happens, but if looking for more than 5 minutes lol), it will smack me in the face one day, all good in the meantime, it's summer, happy days
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RHP User
9 years ago
I meant 'someone' I couldn't live without, not something
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Twisted_Mister' That quote - I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong reasons - is gold. I'm using that. I too watch every person I know in and out of work seem to get hooked up within two weeks of a breakup. At first I thought there was something wrong with me, until I realised I wasn't going to have a relationship just for the sake of it. Of my 45 years, I've been single for 30. I wouldn't mind a GF if that circumstance came along, but (and there have been opportunities) at this stage of my life I'm not settling for second best. History tells me I go 6 years between serious relationships. I've got 3 1/2 to go by that standard, so I'll let you know how I'm travelling in April 2019. - Posted from rhpmobileI read your post earlier today, laughed at your 3 1/2 years to go comment. My last relationship was 23 years, give or take, please tell me I won't have to wait that long for the next one Crap, I'll have to buy some more toys to put under the bed lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' The girl who ends up with you will indeed be very lucky Thankyou TouchMyself. Your kind words are very uplifting, and I will do my best to contribute to future forums if I feel my opinion can be a positive one. Cheers ;)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'jennifer102' I have to say I'm not sure what I'm looking for either. At this moment id probably say new experiences. But if someone came into my life and I felt the need/desire to work at a relationship then I would. I have to say though my mind isn't open to one yet. And that's a hurdle I have to get over. So as far as looking for the one goes I think you both have to be open to it. And I'm not. but that all changed. Last thing I thought of or wanted the whole time I've been on here, just changed me a bit, in a good way I think. I'm still wanting fun of course, but yeah dream of finding that person that makes me all goosebumpy, turns me on, really turns me on, and on a selfish level, have access to that lol on a daily basis (all about me haha)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'squirtformebaby' I am in the same boat as you itouch! I have been involve in some quite abusive relationships with the wrong people because I compromised.If it is the right person for you, you will knowit!The sex will be mind blowing and you will just fit. That's my opinion and although lonliness is the hardest thing to cope with. Maybe I am totally niave but I hope you find your perfect guy it's not naive, I know I will, like most of the other women here though, I am really happy, just still dream of, well you know, more/more often lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'kissk' and still haven't come up with a definitive answer. I think that is because I don't view 'the one' as being the ultimate aim of my life. I don't believe one person can be all to me for the rest of my life. I had that view with my ex and it didn't work for me; we grew apart and he refused to accept I had changed through personal growth and learning and had emerged with different life priorities to him. Does that mean that I haven't ever have thought 'hey this person really is rocking my world and I want to be with them and see where the journey takes us' - no it doesn't. That has happened and I have have absolutely loved the time we shared together. It means I wouldn't rely on them for everything - the one and only person for the rest of my life. I can't guarantee that...realistically, can anyone?? But the intention is always to make them the most special person in my life while they wish to be. 'while they wish to be'. You're the first person who's said that but exactly how I feel. I don't think we can ever own another person, they're free to walk whenever they want as far as I'm concerned. I'd only want them to be there if I was doing it for them, even then only in an open relationship anyway, so great comment, thanks for that. And relying on them for everything, the problem I have is a get very needy sexually or more specifically, find I need to hear his voice, need to tell him things that happened in my day, that became an addiction for me, couldn't take it when that was taken away, still devastated and everything I do in my day, I want to share with him. Anyway, bit off topic, I am better than I was but still so sad deep inside. I've moved on from listening to 'In the arms of the angels' to the Beaches song lol but I throw in some Queens of the Stone Age and Rage Against the Machine to snap me out of it, fuck yeah
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sweetgem
9 years ago
I believe in fate, timing, everything happens for a reason, and there is someone for everyone. I may be single for now, it doesn't mean that I will be single for the rest of my life. In fact, I choose to be single and I do this for my own reasons. Therefore, I do not despair that I will never find my compatible match when I'm ready to have a monogamous relationship again. Perhaps I have been too realistic in my thinking, so far I have not yet met anyone in my life that I would regret of letting go. So, that saves me from living through the pain of regret. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' Are relationships perfect, no they are not. There is no perfect person only the perfect one that suits who we are. I think we look for perfection rather than what suits us. We are not perfect so perfection won't work. Perfection, I joke about looking for perfection, but no, with the right person, it's easy to make compromises, so easy they don't even seem like compromises, pleasing them pleases you, so good point, and so true
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Quoting 'Ms_silk' Not from worrying about will I be lonely for the rest of my life but its comes from meeting the wrong ones. Hope that makes sense. Since facebook arrived a high school boyfriend keeps in touch. He is single now and has traveled his own path as have I. He always reminds me that I was his first love and still has deep feelings for me. But from 4000km away I guess I will never know what could be possible. that's incredible. Ms silk I think you need to get on it, get on that long and winding road and go see him. How long is it since you've seen him? I havent seen him for 26 years I moved away from our small coastal NSW town. I dont get back often and its been 2yrs since I was back last. I did agree to catch up for coffee next time I home. Maybe next year Ill I will get back but not much point. He has his mum to watch over and I have mine here in the west. Dont think it could ever really be on the cards.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_silk' Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Quoting 'Ms_silk' Not from worrying about will I be lonely for the rest of my life but its comes from meeting the wrong ones. Hope that makes sense. Since facebook arrived a high school boyfriend keeps in touch. He is single now and has traveled his own path as have I. He always reminds me that I was his first love and still has deep feelings for me. But from 4000km away I guess I will never know what could be possible. that's incredible. Ms silk I think you need to get on it, get on that long and winding road and go see him. How long is it since you've seen him? I havent seen him for 26 years I moved away from our small coastal NSW town. I dont get back often and its been 2yrs since I was back last. I did agree to catch up for coffee next time I home. Maybe next year Ill I will get back but not much point. He has his mum to watch over and I have mine here in the west. Dont think it could ever really be on the cards. Nice to think he still holds that affection for you after all these years though, does make you think
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sorry but some of my replies with quote didn't quote, I've been having problems on my computer, might need to clear my cache. Sorry if they don't make sense. I'll leave them as they are for now and thank you to everyone for your interesting and honest comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Yes perfection is something I aim for Go for broke I say lol have the bar set pretty high at the moment, go hard or go home is my motto this was meant for you, just having a laugh obviously, the reply with quote didn't work
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_silk' I havent seen him for 26 years I moved away from our small coastal NSW town. I dont get back often and its been 2yrs since I was back last. I did agree to catch up for coffee next time I home. Maybe next year Ill I will get back but not much point. He has his mum to watch over and I have mine here in the west. Dont think it could ever really be on the cards. At least you are still again keeping in touch. Whilst I was never with anyone until last year, in school I did meet a girl once at an inter-district school camp. We shared that instant bond/connection, she was always wanting to be close to me and couldn't take her eyes off me, even as she was leaving at the end. I've still never really experienced anything like that since. Unfortunately I was not able to keep in contact afterwards. So many years later (and having moved away) I was thinking of her, and decided to try my luck getting in touch. I wrote a fairly generic "seeking contact" letter and sent copies to the few addresses from the phone book with her surname, in the district of the small town she was from. We did manage to get in contact, and we shared old-fashioned posted letters with each other for a while. Times had changed for taking things further, and last time I looked she was on Facebook but partnered with kids, but I still keep those letters as that kind of connection doesn't come around very often.
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RHP User
9 years ago
We have been socialised to think that there is one special person in the world just for us and that we will know them when we find them..a huge haystack indeed...billions of pieces of straw to sift through..I don't believe in the ONE,I do believe that you can find someone that you are compatible with and that you just might find them here so always be optimistic Live in hope,expect nothing is my mantra..xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've read and heard ladies ask that eternal question many times. Whenever someone asks me that question, (only in respect of men who are faithful, tick the majority of one's boxes and are genuine), my usual answer is "They're probably at home with their Wife /Partner...". Which. of course, isn't the case in every respect. It's certainly not necessarily the case with every man who is 'unattached' and looking to find the same in a woman... I.E. Someone who ticks most boxes, attraction between both, faithful and willing to commit. There are some men (I wouldn't even hazard a guess at how many), that are alone because of reasons other then fucking things up themselves, being unable or unwilling to commit and maybe 'out there' purely for the sexual gratification. After all, that is probably the purpose of this site and the understandable intention of many or most who are here (of either sex). This isn't an 'Advert'... LOL. But I'm looking for exactly the same as a number of ladies who are here and I find, although I meet and spend time with ladies (both from here and from a Vanilla site), my biggest obstacle is an unwillingness on the part of the ladies ) to commit to anything but 'boyfriend' or part-time companion This is a mystery, on the Vanilla site where one assumes some at least, are looking for a lasting relationship. According to they themselves, it's more often than not because they've been hurt badly in the past and are afraid it will happen again. I suppose a number of the 'Good men' around may feel the same way. I have no problem committing to someone whose criteria I meet and vice versa... And I like to think, that due to the fact I'm widowed and have never in my entire life, cheated on my wife/partner (believe it if you like or not, but I know the truth and I'm the person who has to look at myself in the mirror every morning). I also consider myself a gentleman and kind, understanding person (I can say it in my Profile, so why not here?). Based on these things, I consider that I'm one of the 'good ones' who by unfortunate circumstance finds himself looking for that 'special, precious lady' at my age, and having to convince or demonstrate over time that I am what and who I am... It's difficult for all concerned, but I won't give up and I know that the right person is there... Just a matter of right place, right person, right time... Good luck to all those who are seeking that 'Special One'... When you do find her and 'it', the joy is such that nothing can take it away...
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RHP User
9 years ago
My last sentence should have said 'Find Her/HIM"... Just an omission as I was thinking of my own situation at that moment... Ta.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Many women over 45 have come out of long term relationships,now the children are grown and for the first time they are experiencing some freedoms..they don't want to be tied down ..so a fwb's situation is what many women seek..not a life long partner and it's not necessarily because they have been hurt ,sometimes it is because they have been deeply bored xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'countrytouch' Quoting 'Ms_silk' I havent seen him for 26 years I moved away from our small coastal NSW town. I dont get back often and its been 2yrs since I was back last. I did agree to catch up for coffee next time I home. Maybe next year Ill I will get back but not much point. He has his mum to watch over and I have mine here in the west. Dont think it could ever really be on the cards. At least you are still again keeping in touch. Whilst I was never with anyone until last year, in school I did meet a girl once at an inter-district school camp. We shared that instant bond/connection, she was always wanting to be close to me and couldn't take her eyes off me, even as she was leaving at the end. I've still never really experienced anything like that since. Unfortunately I was not able to keep in contact afterwards. So many years later (and having moved away) I was thinking of her, and decided to try my luck getting in touch. I wrote a fairly generic "seeking contact" letter and sent copies to the few addresses from the phone book with her surname, in the district of the small town she was from. We did manage to get in contact, and we shared old-fashioned posted letters with each other for a while. Times had changed for taking things further, and last time I looked she was on Facebook but partnered with kids, but I still keep those letters as that kind of connection doesn't come around very often. that's really nice.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I hope that someday I will finally meet that special man who will love me for me just as much as I will love him for being him. Sometimes I think I try too hard and just get let down by those men who want to play the field, my way of thinking is if I don't try he will unexpectedly appear out of nowhere when I least expect it. Well that's the train of thought I have at the moment I hope that this will be the case. Plenty of lovely young guys out there looking for older women while that will fill a void for a short while long term it will not be viable as they definately would have moved on. Life is too short to be by yourself always nice to have someone beside to share the good times as well as being there for you for the bad times. Finally I hope that someday I will find that someone special sooner rather than latter 😀
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' Many women over 45 have come out of long term relationships,now the children are grown and for the first time they are experiencing some freedoms..they don't want to be tied down ..so a fwb's situation is what many women seek..not a life long partner and it's not necessarily because they have been hurt ,sometimes it is because they have been deeply bored xxFreya Very true, Freya... I was only referring to the one's that had told me that being so hurt and not being ready because of that, was their reason for being 'non-committal'. Not that I ever 'pushed' or harped on anything. I was very understanding and patient. But eventually you do realize, after 5 years with someone, it's not going to happen any time soon. I imagine there are many, both male and female, that want to experience some freedom and explore what they couldn't because of their spouse or partners unwillingness (or perhaps the subject just never came up, in so far as pushing a couple of limits). BTW, (just as an aside), pushing the limits and also experiencing all that one wants to, doesn't necessarily involve bringing other's into the relationship, it can be simply exploring the things that a couple can enjoy together and this can often bring them closer and more attached than they ever thought possible. I experienced this, without anyone else being involved... Exploring each others needs and wants made us only deeper in love and more committed to each other. But it takes TWO...
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RHP User
9 years ago
harder and harder to find THE ONE these day because everyone is to busy scrolling the net looking for THE ONE if your really lucky you might get a message from them! Be sure to reply as they might just be THE ONENo never regret a thing!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Just the one right now. Shallow? Probably but anyone that wants to put hp with me full-time must have a problem.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Searched for yrs but it's simple they need to be just three things most ppl are one of yet they must be all three and available to be all three 24/7 not when suits Kinky , caring and tell all honest - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I would reckon a lot of people would look at you and think "Wow, that lady really has her shit in a pile" (shit together) If it works don't fix it !
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JessicaRabbit
9 years ago
Yes and yes. I had resigned myself to never finding someone that would accept me for me and all of the things that I was into, then I did find that person and let them go because I didn't want a relationship. Took me a month of being a miserable bitch to stop fighting it and realise that I'd made a mistake and send that text to reconnect. We're together now, although I still don't believe in 'the one' - I still think a lot of come it comes down to good timing and we're you're both at in life when you meet. I think I've met a few 'the ones' but as time changes so do people and what they want/need. I have learnt thought that compromise is important - I can't have everything that I want whenever I want! Jess xx
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Bulgy
9 years ago
The one is not necessarily one but a few. I have seen them, about every 5 years. You know when you see someone and you just think wow they are beautiful. If they see you too, often that is the one. I always ask them for coffee. (This is not the one you meet in a club) I usually get turned down for that coffee & yes they get rarer as I get older.I met the one earlier this year. (I hope she has a secret profile on here and reads this) but I wasn't ready for It. I had no reservations but I had issues. I didn't even know I had blockages. She was perfect for me. Not perfect but perfect for me. It was my reservations that ruined it. I had been in a relationship previously which had sent me broke. I wouldn't discuss money with the one. I am doing alright but if you ask me what I do for a quid. I lie, I shut down. I want to be loved for me.I have other blockages too, I was asked what my fantasies were? I didn't want to scare her. We didn't meet on here.She was the one and I fucked it completely. I was interested in her and chatted to het all the time. I liked her friends but struggled to make conversation. I don't disclose much. I am somewhat interesting but you really have to pry it from me.If you look at my profile or this I come across as chatty and vanilla. Were all someone different online.The one is out there but keep your eyes open. They appear every few years, be ready.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think we've found each, we're both, married, horny and get on together very well...pinching myself.
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RHP User
9 years ago
each other
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Wet_Paint' I would reckon a lot of people would look at you and think "Wow, that lady really has her shit in a pile" (shit together) If it works don't fix it ! God when you said 'has her shit in a pile' lol I thought you meant I was a complete mess, which I am most days, but shh don't tell anyone. Well thank you and I haven't been back into this thread for a while so I'm sorry if my reply has taken a while, nice post
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Muso17' I've read and heard ladies ask that eternal question many times. Whenever someone asks me that question, (only in respect of men who are faithful, tick the majority of one's boxes and are genuine), my usual answer is "They're probably at home with their Wife /Partner...". Which. of course, isn't the case in every respect. It's certainly not necessarily the case with every man who is 'unattached' and looking to find the same in a woman... I.E. Someone who ticks most boxes, attraction between both, faithful and willing to commit. There are some men (I wouldn't even hazard a guess at how many), that are alone because of reasons other then fucking things up themselves, being unable or unwilling to commit and maybe 'out there' purely for the sexual gratification. After all, that is probably the purpose of this site and the understandable intention of many or most who are here (of either sex). This isn't an 'Advert'... LOL. But I'm looking for exactly the same as a number of ladies who are here and I find, although I meet and spend time with ladies (both from here and from a Vanilla site), my biggest obstacle is an unwillingness on the part of the ladies ) to commit to anything but 'boyfriend' or part-time companion This is a mystery, on the Vanilla site where one assumes some at least, are looking for a lasting relationship. According to they themselves, it's more often than not because they've been hurt badly in the past and are afraid it will happen again. I suppose a number of the 'Good men' around may feel the same way. I have no problem committing to someone whose criteria I meet and vice versa... And I like to think, that due to the fact I'm widowed and have never in my entire life, cheated on my wife/partner (believe it if you like or not, but I know the truth and I'm the person who has to look at myself in the mirror every morning). I also consider myself a gentleman and kind, understanding person (I can say it in my Profile, so why not here?). Based on these things, I consider that I'm one of the 'good ones' who by unfortunate circumstance finds himself looking for that 'special, precious lady' at my age, and having to convince or demonstrate over time that I am what and who I am... It's difficult for all concerned, but I won't give up and I know that the right person is there... Just a matter of right place, right person, right time... Good luck to all those who are seeking that 'Special One'... When you do find her and 'it', the joy is such that nothing can take it away... I'm so sorry for your loss, your situation is so different to most of ours. You find yourself forced into 'advertising or selling' yourself, having arrived in this place of singledom unexpectedly. I really am sorry, that's so sad and must be so hard for you. I did laugh at your take on 'where are all the good ones' suggesting they're at home with their wives/husbands haha I think you've nailed it that's where they are, I wondered why I couldn't find them lol actually I still do, bad girl
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'GcFitFunPvteDom' Searched for yrs but it's simple they need to be just three things most ppl are one of yet they must be all three and available to be all three 24/7 not when suits Kinky , caring and tell all honest - Posted from rhpmobile yeah, and all of these things 24/7 that's exactly how I think. No good being horny occasionally or when it suits, at a normal hour or whatever, I want a guy to want to be naughty with me and be thinking about being naughty 24/7 (even when he's at work haha), barely sleeping lol so that's number 1. I won't even hook up with a guy if the communication starts out in a traditional nice as pie way, the sexual fire has to be there, and there's horny, and then there's HORNY. Every guy will tell me they're horny, but there are different levels of that, and I'm going off on a tangent, sorry. Kinky and caring, absolutely, put these things together and what a formula
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've been trying to reply with quote but it won't let me do it for your post, I'm sorry, but anyway, this will do. If you're pinching yourself, I'm jealous, lucky you, and I've openly stated I don't possess the jealous gene. I am jealous of you however if you've found that. I want that, I want the person I'm with to excite me, turn me on so much I'm ready to explode before they walk in the door, interfering with them while they're trying to cook dinner haha (I know I keep saying that, and still note that in this scenario, I'm never the one doing the dishes or cooking it's always him, no flies on me). The difference for me, from most people, is that I wouldn't want to own them, so as much as I want that kind of deep connection and sexual heat, the door will be open for them to come and go. But that won't make it any easier to find that person who's right for me, so we fit together. The dream is there though
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Lovingheart48' I hope that someday I will finally meet that special man who will love me for me just as much as I will love him for being him. Sometimes I think I try too hard and just get let down by those men who want to play the field, my way of thinking is if I don't try he will unexpectedly appear out of nowhere when I least expect it. Well that's the train of thought I have at the moment I hope that this will be the case. Plenty of lovely young guys out there looking for older women while that will fill a void for a short while long term it will not be viable as they definately would have moved on. Life is too short to be by yourself always nice to have someone beside to share the good times as well as being there for you for the bad times. Finally I hope that someday I will find that someone special sooner rather than latter 😀 I pretty much echo everything you say here. The void can be filled for a while, and not complaining, it's fun, but call me needy, I want fun on tap lol All this messaging and trying to figure out who is as they say they are, drives me crazy some days. One day, that will be a little 'added bonus' as opposed to a main need, meaning my partner will pick up most of the slack, god help him, there's plenty of slack to be picked up, good luck with that is all I can say to them Meanwhile, thank god for those young guys who fill that gap and who for some strange reason, want to spend time with us old ducks, but definitely not overthinking that one, just running with it
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Missb4u
9 years ago
Quoting 'GcFitFunPvteDom' Searched for yrs but it's simple they need to be just three things most ppl are one of yet they must be all three and available to be all three 24/7 not when suits Kinky , caring and tell all honest - Posted from rhpmobile But believe that takes time to develop that level of trust to be tell all honest.
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Missb4u
9 years ago
That fucked up ... Sorry 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
The one , I'd love to find the one , not sure if she will turn up on this site but I hope so . Until the journey continues . I believe life is like a train journey , I'm the engine driver and people get on and off at certain stops along the way , some stay on for many years , some stay on for just one stop , Until the one appears , the train will keep going on its journey , so I'm looking for a co train driver . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Lovetoplease63' The one , I'd love to find the one , not sure if she will turn up on this site but I hope so . Until the journey continues . I believe life is like a train journey , I'm the engine driver and people get on and off at certain stops along the way , some stay on for many years , some stay on for just one stop , Until the one appears , the train will keep going on its journey , so I'm looking for a co train driver . - Posted from rhpmobile Love this, nice take on it. A co train driver to continue on the journey with you, not changing anything, just enjoying it more because you have someone to share it with, that's what I want. Just a little afraid I'll kill the poor guy who ends up with me, or his dick will drop off, whatever comes first
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RHP User
9 years ago
I used to think he exists but now I'm not so sure. To find "the one who is available on every level seems like an impossible ask. I joined RHP to try find out who I am. I'm still not 100% sure but I do know that my happiness can't be reliant on someone else. As soon as we allow that to happen we open ourselves up to a world of pain and hurt, whether it is intended or not.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'looking4quality' I used to think he exists but now I'm not so sure. To find "the one who is available on every level seems like an impossible ask. I joined RHP to try find out who I am. I'm still not 100% sure but I do know that my happiness can't be reliant on someone else. As soon as we allow that to happen we open ourselves up to a world of pain and hurt, whether it is intended or not. I agree with you to a degree and the pain I feel now is beyond anything I ever thought I would, but without pain or risk of that pain, we're all numb, surely? There was a point where I decided to stop worrying about containing my feelings and asked myself why I was afraid of them, what harm could it do? So I ran with it, and I don't regret that, even though I'm hurting, but I'm human, warm and loving, as well as a sexual being, so I believe there are times when we have to take a punt, and risk exposing our heart. Pain means we're alive and living, and not just existing, just my take on it but I appreciate what you're saying, it's a big haystack lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
but the "one" for me :) the "one" that is not perfect but is perfect for me - for the time it works for both of us. That might be a month, a year, 2years etc..But a lifetime? I don't believe in that - people change but we change at different speed and into different direction - how can 1 person and 1 person only be everything I crave and of course I be everything he craves for the rest of our live -if we don't know today what we are going to crave in 50years time. 1. Do you despair that you'll never find that person? No. I believe in living life - I might be single, solo but why should that stop me from doing anything I want? So why should I dispair? If I find that person because someone comes in my life with whom I "click" then yupppie if I don't then should I live a miserable life? nooooo way... Life is to be lived :) 2. Have you let that person slip through your fingers and regretted it? I have let a person "slip through my fingers" but have not regretted it, I still think of him and the "what could have been" from time to time but not with sadness but with intrique..how would have my life turned out if I had said yes to his question on that cold winter night..but things happen for a reason and looking back I realize I have grown from that experience and helped me become the person I am today so I am thankful for that step I took which most of my relatives still qoute as a mistake. Things happen for a reason at the time they are "supposed to" happen..so "no regrets"
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RHP User
9 years ago
There will soon be 20 million single men unable to find a wife.due to their one cold policy...20 million is sure a humongous haystack 😳xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not cold .Sheese
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' There will soon be 20 million single men unable to find a wife.due to their one cold policy...20 million is sure a humongous haystack 😳xxFreya I'm on my way to China, 20 million? Throw the line in there we should catch a fish
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RHP User
9 years ago
This demographic has a reputation for being spoiled brats
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' There will soon be 20 million single men unable to find a wife.due to their one cold policy...20 million is sure a humongous haystack 😳xxFreya sorry - not my cup of tea
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RHP User
9 years ago
And is kinky caring and transparent - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'GcFitFunPvteDom' And is kinky caring and transparent - Posted from rhpmobile where do I apply lol I'm all of the above, okay so you're too young or I'm too old, sigh but that's the perfect combination, that's the needle I'm looking for and I won't give up, I'm like a dog with a bone now No I'm not, that was a joke, guy with a boner will do me
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RHP User
9 years ago
i allways struggle to find a women as sexually active as i and enjoys the kinkier side of the bedroom, im a magnet for vanilla girls nothing wrong with that just stuck craving more! my philosophy is why just have sex? when you can experiment and reach that next level of pleasure, as her partner i strive to make the next orgasm even greater then the next.
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RHP User
9 years ago
greater then the last * also, it's frustrating knowing how much u can pleasure somebody but there not willing to try or arent into other things lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was married (Mr talking here) for 16 years - no sex for over 7 years. I was "ok" with that because I thought sex does die in marriage, we were working so hard for the kids so no time and "hey it was only the icing on the cake anyway - not so important". Well, that's what I thought! Five years ago on a work night out, too much to drink, I found myself opening up my heart to one lady colleague. We headed off to her room for the most erotic, yet sensual sex I could imagine. We have developed that into an amazing sexual and emotional relationship possible. After 7 long years of marriage breakups, selling businesses and houses - much pain in order to be together, its worth every second - "She's the one". I now understand the importance of sex - to bring you together intimately and open you up mentally to your partner. Wow - 24 hour sessions, just in awe of each other's bodies! Intrigued by each other mentally. We look after ourselves for the other person and both look fitter and younger than 7 years ago. I wont bore you anymore other than to say - never give up on the hope of meeting that person - but dont look too hard, let fate take you there then follow your gut by being really honest with yourself and the other person. Your "One" is looking for you too.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Were we married to each other? Lol
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