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RHP

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M62

Those dumb off hand things you say..

March 19 2013

personal life

I’ve just got back from a drive in the country with T. She's a Chinese student in her early 20's flatting with my friend K. I've a block south of Perth that needed some attention and I invited T along for the day as the 2 months she's spent in Western Australia have all been in the city. On the way home we did a cooks tour of places of interest and I dropped her at K's at 8pm.K is angry that I did not discuss the country trip with her. Apart from the obvious reasons, I'm confused by this as last month K asked me to take T for a sail. Just the two of us. A little annoyed, I pointy out she's T's flat mate, not her mother. T is sitting there totally gob smacked. The other people siting about K's patio table start to look uncomfortable.Then K says "Have you told T how you said you wanted her to sit on your face"? Actually T knows I think she's lovely but does not feel uncomfortable as I treat her with respect. She's often around and included in the stuff that goes on in our group. So we've seen a bit of each other.I don't recall when I said this, but it must have been some time ago. An stupid off hand thing you add to the list of comments you're making about someone you think is sexy. But something you certainly don't expect to be repeated.Anyway, I told K I would not discuss it with her while she was drunk and bid them all good bye. I'll wear that I said the stupid arse comment, but I wonder how T will feel about having that said in front of everyone. I've spent many years working with Asian students at a tertiary level back in the 90s. T is a little more confident and outgoing than the norm. But still I imagine she's still dissolving in embarrassment right now.Fuck!!

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Your friend was way out of line... Awful for you, certainly everyone says things in confidence that they don't expect to be repeated in company. I'd be wondering at your mate's motivation?? Why did she do that? What's really behind it? Jealousy?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The jealousy thing about spending time with T did actually occur to me today.I racked my brain today and I still can't remember saying it. So it must have been some time ago. It would have just been one of those casual off hand comments you make in jest. So maybe that's why it stumps me.No apology from K today. She could get a handle on her drinking I think?One positive, is a gracious apology acceptance message from T. She said she was "a bit shocked" but not upset with me. A bit shocked is an understatement!!The irony is, that T is boarding with K so she does not have her uncle, who her Mum would rather she stay with, interfering in her personal life. Not so, evidently.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I dont believe you actually said those words...I believe she said that out of thin air for her own purpose or agenda or just out of spite. Fear not Good Sir, you sill a good bloke, im hoping this T will see your side of things and then think K is an asswipe for going WAY out of line for no effn reason...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    LRE ... awwww buggerIt's funny the things others will bring out the vault and throw around in spite when the truth strikes them in their tracks.I'm sure there could've been tact and timing somewhere in all of itBummer ... jealousy is a curse:) x

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    These catty immature girls LRE?!?!?!- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'd only cop to a maybe not a definitely around the statement you (apparently) made. It's possible you said it but as you can't recall, it's also possible you didn't. And re K, borderline deal breaker in my book. JMO :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Mr LRE, is it possible that K even made it up, knowing there was an element of truth in it and that you probably either wouldn't have a clear memory or the rage to call her out?How old are these kids? Sounds like adolescent games...I'm liable to make off-hand comments in jest... those little quips that are hilarious at the time, but taken out of context and bald-faced are little hand-grenades. I'm practising restraint, poorly.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That's soooooo rude and way out of line and very very disrespectful!!! unacceptable... I am sorry LRE you were placed in that position. PFFFT weither she was drinking or not, that's no excuse to say somethinglike that and embarress the to of you.. I hope to dear God you do say something LRE. A FOXY hug to ya xx .- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • xFunlovingx

    xFunlovingx

    12 years ago

    This K sounds like a real nut job...my guess is you never said it and she just made it up on the spot to spite you and embarrass you! Seems to be alot of nutters around with the initial K in their first name!! Bunny boiler for sure! xFunlovingx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ...that K doesn't just call you to apologise but actually goes around to see you and brings you ( I was going to say a bottle, but based on K's last bottle... ) another extension to Carcassonne.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Love how you turn a phrase x

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    LRE get out , run as fast as you can..... "K" is typical of nearly every woman I have had dealings with to date , what you have described is just the tip of potential for what she is capable of .....run man run

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It would not have been the first time that I've commented that. "I'd only kick her out of bed to shag her on the floor" or "She can sit on my face any time".. Just coarse Aussie euphemisms for "She's Hot n sexy"..But really, if I did say that about T? It's way way out of context..But the real issue is the fact that it was repeated in this way. I'm still angry and shocked.To answer a few questions..K is in her mid 30s.I have nearly all the Carcassonne expansions. So that would be hard. ~laughs~The jealousy thing is a bit odd. As K's Ex was there as he's sort of "on call" now as far as I can tell.Thank you all for your comments and supportive words. ~bows~

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    women have memories longer than an elephants...   If you have been saying to "K" things, then I am sure there will be a difficult moment or two. You can only live with the stupid shit you say and cop it..   Mike

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ... I'm not condoning the actions of your friend K at all (unacceptable behaviour in my book) but from what you have written LRE it does seem the demon drink has come into play :-( I'm sure we've all seen it *cringe*. Not being a big drinker myself I tend to notice it quite a bit. I'm sure once the dust has settled you will be able to sort it out. I'm guessing there is more to this than meets the eye.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    What a very catty comment to make by K! What you said is the norm for most guys anyway when they're discussing girls they find attractive amongst good friends - and they would only discuss it among good friends because they wouldn't expect it to be repeated in front of the subject... If T is as confident and outgoing as you say, more than likely she will be a little flattered.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'artdk04' LRE get out , run as fast as you can..... "K" is typical of nearly every woman I have had dealings with to date , what you have described is just the tip of potential for what she is capable of .....run man run Im surprised you haven't gone in to bad for the other time if women are soo wicked !

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    and LRE She was completely out of line.. whether it was said or not..I'd hedge my bets on NOT.... You and T deserve a little more respect and courtesy.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Ah yes, that good ole Aussie humour bites you on the ass!   We are so flippant aren't we. I've seen many men come undone in exactly this way.   Your friend K was way out of line repeating it to T............but you might have been better to think it and not say it.   Personally, when a man speaks like that about another woman in my presence........i think it shows a distinct lack of class.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    We all fuck upany way to make up with you 2 ???and get on with the lovin?

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  • subgal_gc

    subgal_gc

    12 years ago

    Regardless of if you actually said that K or not...for her to throw it around in front of others and especially in front of T, who she could guess would find the situation extremely uncomfortable... well that shows a complete lack of class from K!! Yep we have all done or said some silly things while drinking but to offer no apology to you (or T) for her comments and behaviour is abhorrent. There is no excuse at all for what she has done other than spite and jealousy!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    In vino veritas,...women don't need to be sexually interested in you, for them to not want you to be interested in their friends...weird but true.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    hey LRE, I don't have any friends that treat me like that. An ex, yes, but not a friend. You are a very reasonable and sweet man, and I think K needs a swift kick up the rear from someone else, and you not deal with her any more.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'd not actually considered this?.. Possibly true in this case, but it sounds like an unfair and unkind generalization on all women to me? Quoting 'Anais1' In vino veritas,...women don't need to be sexually interested in you, for them to not want you to be interested in their friends...weird but true.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I left out the word SOME.

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