M53 F52
Threesomes
December 19 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
You were playing with couple,she was enjoying herself with him or you?...did he get jealous. .Not feel comfortable?...if that's the case then the thing to do would be to leave,let them sort out their issues xxFreya
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Jackys94
10 years ago
might just got cold feet and chicken out half way? or curious but bored quickly, , damn that guy, i'm still young so never had 3some or even tried being with others beside my ex. yet and he feel bored when he got invited to one of these exciting thing . anyhow if i was in your shoes i'd just lets him go and try another time, with another people and not inviting him again, not much to do. just be nice when they're being rude and pulled out midway. thats my opinion.
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RHP User
10 years ago
to think you are ready and another entirely to see your partner having sex with another. I found it quite confronting the first time. Even though my playmate and other lady were very respectful - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
as soon as either of the couple starts to feel uncomfortable its time to pack & run. Whether he feels inadequate or uncomfortable with another dick pounding his mrs, woteva, it wont end good. most guys who join couples are not usually looking to cause friction or chasing a relationship/drama. a couple who wasn't well endowed once asked that as I pound his mrs try not to use the whole length of my shaft another duo requested a ORAL only guy.......they've all been great experiences but if there was any doubt from any person or unclear instructions couple I would retreat immediately
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RHP User
10 years ago
The ugly green monster, jealousy. Even the most experienced couples will have to deal with that from time to time. It can happen in an instance, a look, a smile, a movement. Couples should be wary of it, especially the newbies. You should have plans in place in case the monster shows its creepy green head. Experienced and connection are important to smooth the bumps out for couples. Its easy to say, "We have been together for years, we are devoted to each other, we have played with dozens or more. We will not have to worry about it we are more than confident in each others love." Till one day, one of many guys, does something very particular, unexpected, something maybe special between the couple and a private shared intimacy. She responses in the heat of the moment in kind. Bang done, monster is out. Its nobodies fault, blame will only worsen the problem. For the couple, they must always keep an eye out for the other, not just for safety, but for problems such as this. Couples that can do this kind of thing for a long time know when to stop. Know that despite the fun at the time, the bond between them is more important than the moment. As an outsider playing with couples you should also be aware that this can happen. There are usually ground rules set, different for each couple. For example kissing. You may agree that there is to be no kissing. But you as the 3rd wheel find your self very attracted to the woman, she feels the same as you do, she gestures, an invite to kiss. You think, cool she seems ok with it I am in for it. I would call that an invite to disaster, remind her of the rules, if she says yes, make sure he is also in agreement. Even then you are on shaky ground if they set the rule. Best make it your rule, sorry no kissing. Yes it may suck, but you are playing with two people in love. If you want that level of intimacy best to find it your self. So for the couple. Talk talk talk.. Know what to do, and when it has to stop. For the single player, respect the rules set, you have been invited to play, you may not have been invited to seduce. If they call it quits, deal with it. nothing worse than a third party being a prick because he did not get what he wanted. They don't need that. Always show respect, not just in words but in action.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sorry OP did not see you are a couple as well.. Kind of same thing though.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I actually liked watching a friend I had an interest in get as vocal as she wanted. The louder the better. The thing to remember is that it's not just about you. So seeing her enjoy herself is the goal.... It's not a competition to see who can make her scream the loudest.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
It sounds like you are saying that your husband got cold feet once the threesome with another guy started...?? Then don't do it, explore what you BOTH want, its not just about the one person having fun....all need to enjoy or don't do it!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Define vocal? Was she just loud or was she complaining, maybe giving him orders, even arguing? When one of the two partners in a coupe is unhappy for some reason during play, it's up to them to communicate and sort out their issues, and not for you to "deal" with either one. If it's a misunderstanding: fine, but anything more: I'd advice you to get your stuff and remove yourself from the situation. Who needs the tension? It is sad this happened, but until they have worked things through I would suggest you stay well away from them. I am curious though: Did you meet them socially first or play on the same night? It's because of issues like these I never play with a couple until I get a feel for the dynamics between them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Read the OP again. Was it just he got cold feet? If so what can you do, you can't expect her to leave, you can't force him to enjoy him self. Shame it was not BDSM could have just tied him to the wall and be done with it. Or did she get the shits with him and a tiff break out? There is not much you can do. Ask them to leave, or if you are there pack up and go home. Could try a spot of counseling, what could possibly go wrong with that. May just keep going at it like they were not even there. Decide to start smoking and go outside for an hour long fag and hope all is cool when slinky comes back. A nice game of charades always gets the funky back into the party. Maybe log on to RHP forums and get some quick tips.
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MysteryMr
10 years ago
If you are the 3rd person, then you are being invited into their relationship. There has to be total respect for this relationship as you are their guest. If at anytime one of the parties starts to have regrets, or shows signs which suggest they are not enjoying themselves, then it's your responsibility to notice. Politely stop proceedings and ask if everything is ok, and then offer to leave the couple for some alone time to check in with each other. Let them know that you are ok if they decide they don't want proceedings to continue. I would also follow up the guy in a couple of days to see if he is ok, and make yourself available if he wanted to talk. Be respectful at all times. First time in an MFM can be confronting for some people, even if they think they are ready for it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'MysteryMr'you are their guest. If at anytime one of the parties starts to have regrets, or shows signs which suggest they are not enjoying themselves, then it's your responsibility to notice. Any two people playing as a couple are the ones that are a team (even if they are just play partners), and should be completely aware of each other's feelings and boundaries. They should be the ones recognising any signs the other is unhappy. The third person is a (relative) stranger, and it's not up to him to notice anything is wrong. I strongly feel the couple should always have each other's backs, and any problems between them are their own. I would also follow up the guy in a couple of days to see if he is ok, and make yourself available if he wanted to talk. Sorry, but if the couple I'm playing with has issues, it's not my responsibility to notice them anymore than it is my job to hold someone's hand.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Unless they are already actual friends already, but that is not what I got from the OP.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Sorry OP did not see you are a couple as well.. Since the topic was threesomes, not foursomes, I assumed the OP was playing without the Ms here?
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RHP User
10 years ago
If that was me. I would very politely remove myself telling the couple that as a sign of respect the timing is wrong and they really need more time to sort out what it is that is bothering them.. Unless both are prepared to roll with the consequences of what may or may not happen . They should not even go there... If they do, then find out its not for them.. Except it for what it was then put it down to experience. Pointing fingers after the event is wrong...
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MysteryMr
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Any two people playing as a couple are the ones that are a team (even if they are just play partners), and should be completely aware of each other's feelings and boundaries.Couldn't agree more, but from the OP's description it sounded like this didn't happen, and it was up to the third person to take control of the situation.
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Playful2looking
10 years ago
when the guys are straight there is more chance of jealousy.. because in a threesome there is always a third wheel male or female can miss out on some love if the other two are busy and not inclusive. at least with bi guys the boys can give each other some attention as well.. and yes guys get competitive and want to be the one that makes her scream the loudest which is silly but real. i do agree about meeting before playing to see the dynamics
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Hottie1
10 years ago
Hi OP, I'm assuming (there are various interpretations on this) you watched your partner enjoy herself in a threesome and for some reason you have decided it's not for you! That's ok and you now need to move forward and you should do this by redefining your boundaries as a couple. If the playtime ended abruptly or was uncomfortable for your invited guest (assuming my assumptions are right), you do owe them a ' it wasn't you it was me sort of explanation'. Every single person in a play situation is responsible for their pleasure and the pleasure of others. I do agree with Meander though, as a couple (if my assumption is correct) you should have had each other's back and had a code word or signal to create a 'break' in proceedings and re-assess if it was to go further., especially if this is a new phenomenon for you both. Now I have been delightfully played with by two gorgeous men in a threesome, one is always my husband. Even when things weren't working ( erection issues ) we agreed that for our guests we would be ever present and always assess the situation when they left. I have also been an 'invited' guest in FFM and my experiences have been extraordinary. 😍 Take a step back and assess the situation, work out what you think will work for you and put in checkpoints to ensure that you are still comfortable with what is going on. Good luck Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'MysteryMr' from the OP's description it sounded like this didn't happen, and it was up to the third person to take control of the situation. I think it was up to the third person to leave and say "Give me a call once you've sorted out your shit."
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' Hi OP, I'm assuming (there are various interpretations on this) you watched your partner enjoy herself in a threesome and for some reason you have decided it's not for you! OP, please come back and explain!
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RHP User
10 years ago
threesomes are awesome but the mindset is required before entering one. The mindset I like is love her and let her be happy. Be happy for her pleasIre. Can be tough other wise - Posted from rhpmobile
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Hottie1
10 years ago
I made that assumption because he is part of a couple and I thought in the original post he was talking in the third person to garner some advice (whilst trying to remain discreet). I don't know, I'm even more confused now 😁 Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
If it's a threesome situation or any situation for that matter, all parties need to be comfortable, if not, it ends. I think communication prior is the key - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
10 years ago
Totally get the way you see how jealousy could hit at the moment intimacy is expressed from a woman of a couple, given or shared too another man and could be any little thing, unexpected and confronting for the man of the couple. And yes some things are and always will be kept within the love of the relationship and its miles. if I mentioned we had a guy over and while he was playing with Tara, she was voicing her pleasure, I stopped things and told the bloke to fuck off. Most if not all see jealous hubby fits like a glove. So a story of an account separating jealousy , just a difference similar with all what you said. We had a bloke come out to our place, he seemed friendly enough and quite relaxed to the banter as we built up the atmosphere where foreplay was warm enough. At this point it needs to be said that if something goes pear shaped it can be from a niggle of something off early, though in expectation of emotions tolerated, this is in my case as the male and Tara (Couple) where my feelings are. Things can develop as to the nature of someone in only small hints over time and it's the nature of the game, accepted. Our time had been a while into foreplay a few moments out, off having a drink or bathroom visits lipstick and eyes I'd say, I was chatting to the guy, he had already shown throughout the foreplay an urge to get more one on one with Tara and into a position limited for me to find a place to get involved. I felt a little uncomfortable with it, yet I could see that Tara had closed her eyes and drifted into the place she can let go comfortably, which means she is not that aware of the surrounding environment. Off with the fairies, I love it when she lets herself go like that, a passion wells and takes over all of lifes worries and rewards overwhelming all else but that feeling, the dynamics of passion to voice rise and sway in song we share. I will get to the point, the guy with us had most things going for him, we were able to enjoy the time, putting aside his eagerness for connection solely with Tara, he knew we did not play apart and he was testing the boundaries, to the point where I would hint to him for changing things up a bit. It was Tara that needed a moment, as she ducked off, he whispered to me what we were going to do with her when she came back. I pulled him up and let him know for one, he does not have the rule of the coup and that No one has the right to do anything without Tara knowing and it is a three all in thing. He joked it off a bit and Tara came back in, I mentioned what had been suggested if she had interests and she did not show any want for what had been suggested and the "point" me and the bloke talked of flew way over her head, in hindsight, I thought she understood, she later in hindsight thought I meant something else, can easily happen and we all at that point, He knew!, so were ok with a glitch happened and carried on for a while, then again it hit. He looked over too me and in whisper with body language had this fckn stupid idea that I should go and replace his hand with mine so that Tara would think I was pleasuring her, like he was giving her to me, or that he thought what he was doing was some gift of a kind and she would open her eyes to find me giving her this thrill. So anyhow here we are and he not only disrespected me, Tara as well and the secrets thing, well that is not how to treat a woman, especially my wife who he was touching. so I called stop, Tara confused and he would not give us a chance to discuss anything except how he wanted it to play out, that I was jealous and it was natural and one part of four emotions I/we had to get passed before being swingers, he tried to get Tara to have a private conversation with him, he upset me and her to the point I had to tell hem to fuck off, he still was blurting bits and pieces out about how good he was at swinging all the way to his car, and within minutes,not even up the end of our street, he logged on the site we were on must have given a beaut story having us instantly banned with no option for dispute. Don't know what it would take for that. but here we are and they never even refunded our membership balance as confirmed in a junk mail we received. So Here I was thinking am I jealous for what felt the right way to deal with the situation, all I felt was guilt for not acting on the first little hint and was at a stand off with myself, it took some time to sort it all out with Tara, she was unaware of bits,we had a mix up with communication, we had a bloke who was manipulating the setting, and somewhere had to find some sort of compassion in reasoning for the bloke.(let it go) Soon after found out he was known and not of good character. too much for this snippet. Well the next fellow we invited over, after we both were not going to let one uncomfortable moment ruin the reason we were now having a threesome all together with a guy and we had great sex, Tara expressed about every emotion plus a few for the naughtiness of so much choice, not to mention the orgasm during double penetration where our playmate was looking into her eyes, even though she shuts them. Admit some was a little confronting only because I am use to being where her voice is and from a different position she sounded different, just a bit and a second or two for overcoming that bit. So no it was not jealousy, it was a mix of feelings protecting the values I find and love Tara and have given her that respect our whole time together, the guy did not deserve even the slightest chance of fucking Tara and she is thankful after it all settled and was clear understood any of it. Not possessive as that I own Tara's feelings either, I care to them I'd suggest to the blokes who fancy the thought as the male half of the couple is always the problem , he may not be the problem. Not directed at you Blindman, just as these threads tend to go, I always cop it. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
The best threesome are the ones where the divide between one couple and the third does not exist. Like three old friends having fun. Three lovers making love. When thinking of what to write I was going through all the Threesome I have had. Some where with couples I had met online, usually via the woman, there is a lot of communication before, the boundaries, special request. Then the planed night arrives, though I have had a lot of communication with one the other is a complete stranger. I get along well with most people at the drop of a hat, but there is still a level of reserved politeness, and it is much more of a host/guests situation. I have never had any problems in these situations, but they are bland, well sometimes. Then there are the impromptu party or club threesomes, its a moments notice, a request is given you say yay or nay on the spot, find a private room, throw on the wet suit and dive in. You ask as you go and make assumptions as well. You don't really know these people at all. A little bit of small talk afterwards, maybe exchange names, numbers (strange how introductions often comes after.) then back to the party to mingle or rejoin my friends. There have been a few times where these did not turn out, one of the three is not so keen, you can quickly work that out, everybody apologizes to everyone else. Back to the party. Though on occasion when rejoining the party you work out that, NO, she is not with him or her (as the case may be) the real partner is out here, and sometimes mad as hell. At those times I am glad I can disappear back into the party crowd maybe dragging the other extra along for some shits & giggles. There was one time when one partner got into a major huff. In all the bad situations I have seen, or entwined in, the offending couple have been asked to leave. This is an important rule for 3somes, and parties, Couples that come in together must leave together. I as part of the couple, played with a lady, after we came out to be confronted by a very drunk and obnoxious husband in full on green monster mode, it was getting ugly. The host came to try and diffuse the situation, while she was doing that the lady asked if we could take her home later, as she did not want to go with him. My girl and I said "Not a problem." We personally thought, why would any one want to return to that guy. The host was very good at settling the guy down. 10 minute later my girl and I wonder where did she go. I asked the host what happened. She said "I told them both to leave." "Why?" I explained that we where to give her a lift home, but the host (she has hosted for well over a decade) told me, "Never evict only one. If they come in as a couple they must leave as a couple." If one stays then the belligerent other is not going to go easily and may cause trouble later. The responsibility of the host is not for the couple but for the guests. I told her we did not trust him, he was bordering on physical abuse. That is not that host's concern, she would have called the cops if requested, but they are a couple by choice. That was a little bit of wisdom I learnt, I had to think about it but I make perfect sense if you are impartial and fair. Now the invisible threesomes. So I have thought out all the threesomes I have been involved in (oh god!), but I think, "Hang on I have been in way more threesomes than that." Then I realize that most of the private threesomes, foursomes, etc that I have been part of I never ever even thought of as such. Be them with my partners and a mutual friend or the other way round. They where as natural and intimate as just two people, I never thought about it as anything more than sex with someone you love, I had been doing it so long I did not label it as anything unusual, I was having threesomes all the time and was not even thinking of them as such. Really, I was trying to organize threesomes while in a threesome. Nuts I know. Those in my book are by far the best type of threesome, be they impromptu, or planed, in private or at swingers parties/clubs. There has never been any angst or green monsters and have a special place in my memories, and they were all awesome sex and great nights. That's what threesomes should be. Now I want my normal life back, pout, pout...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hi... You snuck in a post while I was typing. Very good point you make, and I do fully understand where you are coming from. I know the type of guy you are talking about and there are too many of that type, thankfully rare, but they are sexual bullies and know how to get into the situations and thus appear to often. I can't stand them, revolting predators. Yes from an outsider that may look like jealousy, from their point of view everyone but them selves are imperfect, we are just toys to be used, then dumped when done with. You defended what you love and respect. Not everyone is capable of standing up to pushy types and that is what they rely on. I am sure you regret having invited him, but at least you took control, there are worse regrets people have at the hand as such as them. Thumbs up. They don't just turn up in threesomes, but in all types of sexual encounters, from one on one to group situations, they can be passive aggressive or just plain forcefully. I have zero tolerance and depending on the situation, I will either leave, or ask them to leave. And the online stuff he did, that is their typical MO, not a moments thought as to why it did not turn out, straight to deference and accusation. I have become very good at spotting that type and politely shut any prospects down as soon as my blindie senses raise the warning hairs. Been a long time since i have had to deal with the likes of them. Thanks for sharing that.
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Hottie1
10 years ago
Thanks for sharing your experiences! That was disrespectful of the other person and we have had a third and I've been a third in plays, always respect the couple. Our playmates in MFM have always treated Andy with respect and in FFM , I know that a wonderful woman is allowing me share intimacy with them, I have never crossed the line and always respect boundaries. I have learnt a lot from you, especially the perspective from the male point of view. Mary xx
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madotara69
10 years ago
No regrets, it's all a learning curve. If I did not feel confidant for the chance a prize grabber could stand over me when Tara is in a world where it is based purely on trust to let go, then we would not be here, we probably would not even have that between us as it applies to everything we are. If not for that encounter, chances we met with a guy who is that lover, three become one tangled mess of euphoric energy drawn into feed that passion that builds to intensities reaching one big bang and we explode all over each other as we fall back to one sticky heap of exhausted bodies quivering as sparks shooting off in all directions until we finally fizz out with smiles and kaleidoscope eyes. Just what we thought it would be.
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RHP User
10 years ago
if you are the invited male... you leave. end of story.
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