F55
Threesomses - unicorns & single men.
August 09 2014
Comments
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I don't agree with the universal truth bit, but I see the same comments made by guys all the time. I always wonder if they mainly say it to have a better chance, not because it's actually true. Yes, I've met men that were totally sincere about getting their pleasure from giving, not receiving. But I have probably met as many women with the same mindset. Women don't have to advertise it though, especially not the single bi women known as Unicorns. They get to pick and choose on this site regardless.Men here deal with a lot of competition and I think many feel they have to overcompensate in order to be considered. Frankly, the whole "It's about you, not me" thing turns me right off. Equal participation does it for me, whether I'm with men, couples or in moresomes.
-
Paradisepair
10 years ago
I can't speak about FMF's with much experience so I won't. But straight MFM's can be amazing, and because the guys are straight it is all about the female. The guys need a comradery ideally, and it's a pretty special dynamic that everyone involved feels privileged to be part of. Maybe that's what's wrong with your quote, it doesn't leave much room to express the couples' approach, except to refer to the unicorns. Really everyone's approach to sex is individual, things can't be generalised too much because people are so different. We don't seek out fmf's because in our mfmf play we are very sharing so we often get many of the experiences we'd be looking for from an fmf anyway. Our dynamic then is one that flows focus from one person to another. The straight mfm though is all about me! Physically anyway, whether I am receiving or giving pleasure, or as it should be - doing both at the same timd... I'm the link. The extra is the guest star, he's made to feel special because he is, otherwise he wouldn't be there. I guess some may read what I've written as 'smug', but I'm really happy with the success rate we've had with our mfm play, (with one exception) there's so much good will between the three of us when all is said and done. Everyone's satisfied, respected and valued so I really hope no-one reading this decides they need to weigh in and complain about anything I've written (as is the wont here on RHP) because experiences are varied and individual according to which 3 people are connecting, or not. And that's what keeps life interesting.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Paradisepair' But straight MFM's can be amazing, and because the guys are straight it is all about the female. Exactly why I prefer a bi MMF.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You are right I am not looking at it from a couples point of view from this question, and yes people approach sex differently and I know that what people say may not necessarily translate when they are naked and getting down and dirty. I am just intrigued by the differences between a single male and female and how they approach the threesome experience or how they view joining a couple. Is this how men and women see sex generally or does that change when they think about one on one sex to threesome sex.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Frankly, the whole "It's about you, not me" thing turns me right off. Equal participation does it for me, whether I'm with men, couples or in moresomes. Agree, I do see men make comments on the forum about "its all about the woman", "I don't stop until she has come", etc. All those things makes me feel instantly under pressure to perform. Those comments make me feel uncomfortable.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Okay so from the likes I take it a lot of people will agree with Meander that men say these things just as a strategy to pick up a couple not because they really believe what they are saying. Doh! You know I never really considered that. LOL. I just assumed that a lot of the men making these comments were sincere. They certainly sounded as if they were.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
They have to make it sound sincere so women will believe them :P But like Meander, when I read that from a guy I tend to veer clear of them. If they're good, they don't need the self-promotion. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
badboyhere
10 years ago
Quoting 'Paradisepair' I can't speak about FMF's with much experience so I won't. But straight MFM's can be amazing, and because the guys are straight it is all about the female. The guys need a comradery ideally, and it's a pretty special dynamic that everyone involved feels privileged to be part of. Maybe that's what's wrong with your quote, it doesn't leave much room to express the couples' approach, except to refer to the unicorns. Really everyone's approach to sex is individual, things can't be generalised too much because people are so different. We don't seek out fmf's because in our mfmf play we are very sharing so we often get many of the experiences we'd be looking for from an fmf anyway. Our dynamic then is one that flows focus from one person to another. The straight mfm though is all about me! Physically anyway, whether I am receiving or giving pleasure, or as it should be - doing both at the same timd... I'm the link. The extra is the guest star, he's made to feel special because he is, otherwise he wouldn't be there. I guess some may read what I've written as 'smug', but I'm really happy with the success rate we've had with our mfm play, (with one exception) there's so much good will between the three of us when all is said and done. Everyone's satisfied, respected and valued so I really hope no-one reading this decides they need to weigh in and complain about anything I've written (as is the wont here on RHP) because experiences are varied and individual according to which 3 people are connecting, or not. And that's what keeps life interesting.
-
TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Hmmmmm so many polarized view points on this topic and understandably so. Interesting if you use that outcome in reverse - instead around the topic or essentially around "guys" I do not argue that some guys will promote sensitivity to increase success. Nor do I argue some guys see participation as a privilege but the rider (yes a pun) to this is because it really can be so competitive - thus acceptance into the "group" can be seen as a "win" even a "macho win". Consider that most men love to just "fuck" no emotion, purely pleasure only - a primal urge. So you can see how this can flow thru (ooops). In life things that seem simplistic can in fact be just opposite. Above points around "natural instinct". Enter nurture. We all carry our life experiences. Thus the complexity of motivation and the intangible equation around what fulfillment composes for each individual. Some of us in fact get a higher degree of fulfillment upon other engaged participants pleasure. Without question i do. Guess what this is what drives guys to gangbangs yes it fricken taboo yes its fricken dirty - but flippen heck its fun :) SD x
-
TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
I really like these forums, especially emotive topics such as this. At 45yo we can and should still be learning. I come from a family largely comprising males. To hear the ladies feelings on this topic provides a great insight for me. I just love the way OP expresses female perspective. Care value respect do guys regularly mention those exact words. The male : female dynamic that seems poles apart may in fact not be. How about these words. Protection, responsibility, provider. We want similar outcomes just from different perspectives. SDx
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'tulips4u' They have to make it sound sincere so women will believe them :P But like Meander, when I read that from a guy I tend to veer clear of them. If they're good, they don't need the self-promotion. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
couples are often seeking a mutual experience, and is why they seek the 'bi female', however a genuine bi male is also sought by many. However, as a bi mmf is not viewed as trendy as a bi ffm, not many speak of it, so we only hear about the unicorn (single bi lady). - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Should feel privileged. I'm not easy to get. I think most guys on the forums say what they believe will get them laid. How many people complain about bad experiences even after they go through their vetting processes?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm a unicorn and I've met some lovely couples on here, but I've yet to find a situation where it is leading to the true definition of that situation. Mostly I'm seeing and hearing from couples new to it or wanting to experiment or wanting their girls on rotation. So frankly, I don't see it as bestowing privledge on the couple because it has to go both ways to work. The thing is though, when entering an established relationship, the couple does need to do the most they can to welcome you and make you feel equal and wanted, just like any relationship. Otherwise it's easy enough to just do the one night "experience packages", and I'm just not interested in that. I guess I've just written myself an advertisement! but my point is, I don't feel that way.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
MFM of the straight kind does invariably lead to the outside male feeling included as a special guest, honoured as you will, since they are invited into a private and special bond. I feel honoured when included and like most guys who are asked will do their best (of the chivalrious kind) to please the lady since that is what is asked of me. The unicorn situation is a separate topic though, since that involves both parties pleasing the lady so why wouldnt she feel a reverse of honour, they seek to please her, the only comparable thing is for a FMF which I was lucky to be in recently, the women pleased me and as much as I felt great to be there, the ladies were the ones feeling privileged, which in turn gave me insight into how unicorns feel about threesomes. As Meander said the only other time that true equality exists is in bi-MFM which Ive been in and have seen the amazing equality and sharing exist. So my point is each situation of threesomes is quite different and as such gives quite distinct outcomes and feelings from it (from a male point of view). Everyone can feel honoured and privileged to be sharing providing they are in the frame of mind that what they are involved in is a special thing that not many people get the chance to be a part of.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Being_Me' couples are often seeking a mutual experience, and is why they seek the 'bi female', however a genuine bi male is also sought by many. However, as a bi mmf is not viewed as trendy as a bi ffm, not many speak of it, so we only hear about the unicorn (single bi lady). - Posted from rhpmobile I don't think trendy is the correct word, maybe accessible?? It seems harder to find a willing female participant than a male one.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
we have two regular females and two regular males who we enjoy threesomes with. We all feel privileged to know each other and to share amazing experiences, its not based on the sex of a person, not to us anyway. If the female thought they were there to be served, and we were lucky to have her with us, we would not be into it. If the male was there to serve us and they were lucky to be there, we would not be into it either.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You stated that you as a woman who joins a couple, wants it to be about you. Or at least part of the fantasy is centred on you. This is why couples want a guy to join them, to make it about the woman. To give her the attention. To be valued, appreciated, cared for. I for one feel very privileged to join a couple, as they are allowing me to share a very intimate experience with them. I'm sorry if this sounds corny or contrived, but that is how I feel. Btw, I also feel privileged to be asked by a woman to join her. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
.....great post, integrity respect equality & mutuality - love it - ohh and passion of course :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
The way I see it, its not about them or me, its about us and the enjoyment we give each other. We are all here to fulfil some sort of sexual gratification, to be asked by a couple to join them is a great compliment, but a privilege I don't think so. Sex is sex we all want it, the type of sex we look for is dependent on the mood we are in at the time. There are lots of the so called Unicorn out there, they remain hidden because they are the fussiest of us all. They are the ones that get to pick and choose who they want.I agree with Meander on the below statement, and it's very true."Men here deal with a lot of competition and I think many feel they have to overcompensate in order to be considered." that's my 2 cents worth
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Candyman, fantastic point and something I hadn't really considered. The straight male going into the situation is completely different to the Bi-male threesome. It is never going all about the single male. It's a shame really...... every man should have the chance to be a starfish and be smothered with lots of girly pink bits at least once in their life.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Privilege was not the right word to use. I think what I was trying to say is that a single female wants to be equal in the threesome whereas my impression of what single males say is that they feel like just an add in.... still enjoyable but never the star of the show. I think it is fun when everyone gets the opportunity to be the star.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Candyman, fantastic point and something I hadn't really considered. The straight male going into the situation is completely different to the Bi-male threesome. It is never going all about the single male. It's a shame really...... every man should have the chance to be a starfish and be smothered with lots of girly pink bits at least once in their life. Of being that starfish with girly bits aplenty lol...
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I'm surprised by the cynical answers! Looks like you're damed if you do, and damned if you don't! I don't doubt that there are guys who try to sweet talk their way into a threesome, but I stand by the idea that it is a lovely feeling to be part of a couple's intimate moments. That's not sweet-talk, that's a fact. So, yes, I do feel in honoured during the times when I've been the 2nd man. And, yes, when I'm in that situation I put my desires and impulses as second priority. Everyone has different feelings and wants and needs, and I just think it's the right thing to do to try to be attentive to that, when I'm a guest in someone's bed. That can't be wrong, can it? There will be people trying to read something negative into that, but sorry, I can't help you if you want to paint everything black (love that song!). The truth is that when you give, openly and freely, you tend to get back and I go into each situationwith that in mind. It IS about the couple inviting you to share in their intimacy and it IS a wonderful thing....male or female guest in a threesome. ...just my two cents .
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' Quoting 'Being_Me' couples are often seeking a mutual experience, and is why they seek the 'bi female', however a genuine bi male is also sought by many. However, as a bi mmf is not viewed as trendy as a bi ffm, not many speak of it, so we only hear about the unicorn (single bi lady). - Posted from rhpmobile I don't think trendy is the correct word, maybe accessible?? It seems harder to find a willing female participant than a male one. My experience tells me that couples think its trendy to advertise their female as bi (as she may or may not be), but not so the male (even though he is bi or bi curious). I think trendy is the correct word...??
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Does exposure and experience change a single man's perspective on how they feel about being included? Normally I wouldn't be so specific but recently I was involved in a bit of fun with a lady and two other gentlemen... whilst the lady was the centre of attention (it was her "birthday treat" from her boyfriends) we all felt equal parties in the play even though there was no MM interaction. Maybe it was because they are living in a poly relationship and the nature of their personalities made everyone feel equal or maybe it was their experience that helped put me at ease with the situation... I neither felt privileged or special, nor did I feel isolated or likened to a 4th wheel. I will admit that normally I would be in the grouping of single men who would use the privileged term but in this instance I got as good as I gave and with the banter before, during and after, the whole thing felt so balanced... the privilege was all OURs! SG
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share