F40

Time for laughs 😜

August 12 2015

I'm a walking danger to myself. Just yesterday I managed to stab myself in the arm. And it's not the first time I've done something silly like that. What's your funniest self inflicted injury? Mine would have to be the night I bent down to set a boiling pot down on the tiles. I have a bad habit of standing my knives up to drip dry. When I bent down with the hot pot in hands, I completely forgot about the super sharp knife pointing right up at me. I got myself fair and square in the forehead 😳 Thankfully just inside the hairline so it's invisible (unless I go bald), and I missed anything important, think eyes, nose, brain 😝 Oh and instead of going over to my friend who lived next door, I sent her an SMS "emergency, come over now". Clearly not my brightest evening 😕 Over to you! What's your funniest mishap? What were you doing? What injury did you give yourself? And is there any lasting damage? NN xxx - Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

Single_Guy4U

9 years ago

You are not blonde by any chance ? Can't think of any at this time but I am sure I have some. Will think on it.

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Met a guy at a pub, (aww, they were the days) heading back to his place - had to climb a fence (don't ask why). He ended up over it first and turned around and smiled at me. I get all gaga, lose my footing, slip and slice my hand on the fence. Now I have a scar between my head and life line - wonder what the palm readers would say about that.

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

I don't have any stories about myself but I am friends with a guy that snapped his dick doing doggie and then slit his foreskin getting head. (Both separate events with his then and present girlfriend)

reply

like
Hottie1

9 years ago

To clean the cupboards after the vent for the dryer had been installed (why? Coz I'm OCD) . I lost my footing, and fell, I straddled the ladder I had used to get on the bench and in the process completely scraped my inner thigh and terribly bruised my vagina. I continued to fall and landed on the tiles! Fuck that hurt, try explaining your bruised vagina to your doctor! Mary xx

reply

like
NawtyNNice777

9 years ago

just say I'm not a natural red head SG 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

I don't have any ones that happened personally... but the first time my sister had sex with her ex-husband he tore his foreskin/frenulum and had to go to hospital.

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Mr ac33.. When i was doing my apprenticeship my nick name was pot holes... Every one tried to avoid me as i often got randomly injured when working with a senior technician lol Good times

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

But my first one was at primary school. One particular playtime there was a stick stuck in a wire fence that myself and a few friends decided to try and get out. It was stuck in the fence about twice as high as we were tall (remember we were about 6) so we were throwing small rocks at it with no success. After a few minutes I decided to get a much bigger rock and using both hands launched it up towards the stick. I immediately scooted sideways to get out of the way of its return path but inadvertently ran right into its downwards trajectory and it hit me on the back of my head. The rock cracked in half and whilst initially feeling the pain, the fact that the rock broke made me feel good. It was only when someone else nearby asked why the back of my shirt was red that we realised that I was bleeding quite badly. By the time I got to hospital the wound had stopped bleeding and that was the only reason they didn't put stitches in. And after all that, I still missed the stick.

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

But 2 come to mind.... I had to give my horse a shot of penicillin and I dropped the cap to the needle in the hay. As I was walking back to the feed shed my dog came over so I proceeded to do my happy dance as I do. I slipped on the wet concrete, went A over T and stabbed myself in the stomach with the needle! Now horse needles aren't like people needles, they're way bigger, so I felt I best go to the doctor to make sure I hadn't done any internal damage....after giving me the WTF look he could not keep himself from laughing! No damage from the needle but my butt hurt for days.... The other one(and I know I won't be the only one who's done this) is walking into a glass door. Not at home, or a friends, or anywhere quiet like that, but at a restaurant in front of loads of people. And of course I didn't just walk into it, because I power walk everywhere, I bounced right off the thing and went sprawling. Me being me I just laid there and laughed for a bit, got up and did a curtsey much to the amusement of everyone who had seen it!

reply

like
NawtyNNice777

9 years ago

sounds like something I'd do Uni! I think my internal wiring is faulty, my default after I or someone else does themselves harm in a funny way is to burst out laughing before I ask if they're ok 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Standing on the front lawn and give the lawnmower rip cord a fair yank. Closed fist slips off the handle. BAM! Right in the plums. Fair to say I don't start it that way anymore. - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Putting the groceries away, I had both freezer and fridge doors open. After putting the veggies in the crisper. I stood up very quickly, forgetting that the freezer door was still open and hitting it full force with the top of my head. Basically lifting the the whole fridge off the ground and bent the hinge. Didn't knock my self out but greyed out for a bit. I think the shock of it kept me from blacking out. Another even more painful time. I was carrying a heavy box of tools and went to put them on the work bench. Now the work bench is a bit higher than my waist so I had to heave the box up, stand on my tippy toes and push the box with my belly in one movement to get it up onto the bench. I then proceeded to drop the box. Right on my meat and potatoes. Everyone thought it was hilarious seeing a guy screaming while standing on his tippy toes with his dick crushed under a heavy box. - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

As an impulsive lad it is only to be expected. Three come to mind immediately. First as a very young child. Climbed out on a way too thin branch to feed a magpie some cheese, the inevitable fall ensued (think I must have just read Aesop's Fox and the Crow). The second as a teen, Mates turned up to go for a cruise I hurdled the verandah, caught my foot and went head first into the concrete slab about a one and a half metre drop. My mates killed themselves laughing until my mother flew out of the house screaming at them, they took off still laughing (only time I have seen my mum enraged). The third in my twenties out camping. Found a wasp gall that had hatched and decided to pry it open with my brand new quality Excalibur knife (sharp as hell). Ants came pouring out, I panicked and slashed a cut in my leg a few inches long and an inch deep funny as hell. So that's a few but if I sat and thought I reckon I could write a short novel

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

...I was lazy, and did it wearing thongs. As expected, the slippery thongs slipped off the kickstarter on the downstroke and drove my bare shin into the spiky toothed foot peg. That left me gripping my leg in a silent scream! Not my best move. Being a chef, I cut myself occasionally...which I'm not supposed to. Last week I drove one of those bench-mounted commercial can openers into my finger...that sharp little triangular tooth that punches into the can sank smoothly into the flesh of my finger. Ouch!Of course, I deny these things ever happened. Safety first.

reply

like
ElleWould

9 years ago

I was learning to ride my bike without holding on with my hands and I was getting pretty good. My parents sent me to the shops to buy a bottle of milk which I hung off the handlebars as usual. On the way home I let go to practice a bit more, the weight of the milk immediately pulled down and turned the front wheel hard left and before I knew it I was on the road with skinned palms and knees. Ouch. Some of these stories are making me wince! - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

On the side of a freeway. I Thought I was safe on other side of my car in between the doors. I Didn't realise there was a road there too and up came a big truck. He drove by very slowly and quietly. I didn't even notice. Plenty of noise from the freeway I'm guessing. My mum, sitting in back with leg up, (She'd injured it the night before; another story) told me how much the truck driver had enjoyed the view when I got back into the driver's seat. 😳😝 - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
Single_Guy4U

9 years ago

Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...I was lazy, and did it wearing thongs. As expected, the slippery thongs slipped off the kickstarter on the downstroke and drove my bare shin into the spiky toothed foot peg. That left me gripping my leg in a silent scream! Not my best move. Once only, years ago. (The good old TT500) Hurts like F**k doesn't it. Just remembered fell of a ladder last year. Was trimming tops of bamboo, had ladder leaning on bamboo (not that stable and should have known better), but thought it was only temp. Anyway, 3.5 metres up and ladder went sideways and strait down, landed on my side (ribs) onto a pot plant in the garden. All I can say is I am lucky it was a plastic one and not a concrete one, as only cracked the rib.

reply

like

Time for laughs 😜

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help