RHP

RHP User

F37

Time limits

February 25 2013

This is my first post so please bear with me!I'm wondering who has encountered having time limits when meeting people?So often when I meet people (usually told prior to meeting) I am told "I only have an hour" or "I am only free tonight until 10pm"Does this turn anyone else off?I like to be able to meet after dinner, have some drinks and see where the evening goes. Obviously if it's a week night and we both have work the following day, a super late night happening is off the cards (that's a given, no need to bring it up). If they do give me a time limits and it's a decent period of time then sure, no problem.But when it is 45min or an hour and a half.... really?If you have given out time limits before, is it always genuine, or do you do it so they knows in advance there won't be any small talk and you will just get right into it?If you have been told that the person you are meeting has a time limit, do you still meet them? What do you count as an acceptable time limit?xx

Comments

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    12 years ago

    Given that you're meeting someone.... there's still that unknown element of whether you'll actually get on away from phone/email conversations.(Ironic, I know... when so many in here consider a meet is an automatic prelude to shagging like wild monkeys! Weird.)So a time frame is most likely a way of establishing ahead of time... that if its not working out, they have an exit clause.Or, they are busy.But if things go well, I bet that time frame just melts away.DG

  • Mr_MrsAraps

    Mr_MrsAraps

    12 years ago

    Thanks for the post buttsylicious.Unless there was a pretty good reason for the time limit it would be a turn off for me. If someone doesn't think enough of me to put aside enough time so there's no pressure to finish.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    brief encounters

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    time limits should sound alarm bells...its a sure signpost to an attached person in our experience...'.i'm free and single.......but only til 10'...sounds unsexy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The shorter time limits, could be...A safeguard, in case it's going to be a dud meet, they can get out of there quick.They've got someone lined up after you...Age...Maybe they're attached & have to rush home...I wouldn't meet if there was a time limit like an hour or less...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    time limits for a first meet, several times now after 3hrs chatting or on one occasion 5hrs."Your a really nice guy and I've had a lovely time but ............"Fuck that.If there are sparks you both are going to know in about 10 minutes so a second date is where I like to put in the time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    sorry OP, I really do have a very busy life and my time is super limited. I only "meet first", it never goes further than that on the first date. I really just want to meet, see that you're real and can carry a conversation and see if we are attracted to each other. If it all works out you can have a nice chunk of my time, next time. I will often schedule a meet between other appointments/obligations. sorry if it's off putting.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If its a meet like said above go in with no expectations,I have had meets that were only an hr or so and we just chatted had a bit of a kiss and arranged another meet with more time :) If I'm going to play but must be up at a reasonable time than I will just say I can't stay the night before hand.( Goes both ways ) Sometimes I will see a friend with benefits but we will only be doing the friend part minus the benefits due to scheduling,so see a movie or something like that. But if you are always on a time limit and its not long sounds like a bit of wham bam thank you mam,so if you want more substance I suggest talking to your playmate and if that fails there are plenty more slices of the pie around.- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    most men travel to see me so there is this element of time from the beginning. Just expect nothing for the first time and then what ever happen happens. I am not shy in saying what I have to say. However even you don't have sex. I think u can make people comfortable in staying and having a good time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If the meeting is the first with this person and they say they have only an hour to spare that would be fine with us, they are probably using it as an excuse to get away if they don't like what they see, lol.   If the meeting is a second or a play meeting and you are meeting a single guy then we would think the guy is married and can't get away from his wife for a longer period.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I see it like this. . "If they ain't got time for me, I ain't got time for them" Sounds like they are only in it for themselves OP.... If they can't put in an effort or a bit of time in...its a turn off for me too. Foxy- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    High maintenance/self obsessed alarm.Seriously, Unless you need to pick the kids up from school or something, enjoy my company or don't. I've never had someone do this too me though. But it would probably be a red light. If we're getting on, stay and chat. If we're not, then "Sorry, but it was nice to say hello anyway." shake hands and leave. Why do people want to play games like this with each other?I think you need to pre-filter harder Buttsy. Hopefully you don't get too much of this stuff in future dear?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    As i always meet socially first, a time limit seems reasonable.   If all you are doing is catching up for a quick coffee and a conversation then an hour or two should be enough to know if there will be a second meet.   Anyone i meet with knows the deal, i won't/don't play on first meets - even if i'm attracted to them. I like to take the time for both parties to make a considered decision not just fall into bed because we are both horny!   A meeting, is just that, a meeting.....to get to know each other a little better, to see if the chemistry you may have felt from the computer screen or on the phone is real.   Ofcourse, i have had the odd meet and greet that has blown the time limits out of the ballpark....... coffee became dinner became a walk on the beach and i finally got home at 3am.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Sounds like you're having a date in a room at a swingers club..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I would guess that if they have a time limit when they are meeting you they most likely have a wife or husband to get home to.   Just my thoughts.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'm married, so my time is quite limited. But, oh what one can get up to in an hour!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    They either have to get back home to the missus, or they they like to eat n run.

  • Smilingwithfun

    Smilingwithfun

    12 years ago

    It would be a good polite way to leave if an attraction is not happening. A built in non rude way to leave without an awkward moment. And as ML says, the reason to leave would melt away if all is going well. On a different level, i'm sure there are some who only give an hour because they think that as you are meeting them then its straight into the sex. The trick is to weed them out before meeting.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That smells like he's married and needs to get home to his wife. Maybe as you kiss him goodbye you should wipe some lipstick on his shirt collar. Just an idea.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    this assumption that people who have time limits are married is very wrong.Some people just have busy lives, I would rather put time into a date with a connection, not a first meet. SimpleI am a single parent and self employed time is precious.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I agree ' ppl who limit their time are probally attached. In my case it cant be helped.. my business has me on call from 6.am to 1am the next morning. I never know when I'll get that call to up and go so I always make sure the person I'm with knows I could be called away. Never been a problem in the past but its always in the back of my mind.Besides' it would give me a out if things dont go that well.. Nothing wrong with that.. ?If everything was going along OK and the chemistry was good. I'm sure you would try everything you could to keep things rolling anyway...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Limit's,well i say are a waste of time,jsk

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Jay_Me' I agree ' ppl who limit their time are probally attached. In my case it cant be helped.. my business has me on call from 6.am to 1am the next morning. I never know when I'll get that call to up and go so I always make sure the person I'm with knows I could be called away. Never been a problem in the past but its always in the back of my mind.Besides' it would give me a out if things dont go that well.. Nothing wrong with that.. ?If everything was going along OK and the chemistry was good. I'm sure you would try everything you could to keep things rolling anyway... Wouldn't it be better to simply tell the person your with that your not enjoying yourself all that much and don't see things progressing much rather than making up a thib about being called out to work,just saying Jay-me,jsk

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I can definitely say that MOST of the 'time limited' people I have met have NOT been attached.I go to their houses, have them as friends on facebook etc. I think some people just like to squeeze people into their already busy day rather than dedicating an evening to something that might not work out or last very long.... which is what leaves me to feel insulted when a ridiculous time limit is put on meets.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Jennylee and I prefer a casual and brief first meet. Then we can go away and compare notes and decide how we feel about things before moving forward. It's very rare that we can get away together, even for an evening, without the kiddies If a person can't be unerstanding about time limitations, they're probably not the kind of person we'd care to waste our limited time on so they'd be doing us a favor by showing this side of their personalities early.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My first thought, too, was "married", but the posts arguing against that point have opened my mind to other possibilities.My personal preference - and this is just me, no statement about other people's choices - is to meet fewer people and try to shift heaven and earth so I have 'unlimited' time, or at least time to spare. I'm prepared to pull the plug after 20 minutes, or let things unfold.If someone offered me a "45-minute window", I'd probably suggest we chatted on the phone first. Maybe I've spent too much time interviewing job candidates...I guess, meeting lots of people for an hour feels a bit like 'friends collectors' on here (or FB). Maybe it's an age/stage thing? *shurg*

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    For a first meet are fine by me. Tney could be for any number of reasons: * married * need to get home to kids (single parent) * early starts in the morning for work (pick me for this one) * exit strategy   Just to name a few reasons   Kisses Focus

  • xFunlovingx

    xFunlovingx

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Lost_Focus' For a first meet are fine by me. Tney could be for any number of reasons: * married * need to get home to kids (single parent) * early starts in the morning for work (pick me for this one) * exit strategy   Just to name a few reasons   Kisses Focus "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," Einstein said. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity." xFunlovingx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'd feel like I was being tested. NEXT.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'paintme'I'd feel like I was being tested. NEXT. especially a social one arent we doing just that? testing the water? Seeing if theyre suitable?   Just my opinion of course   Kisses Focus

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Lost_Focus' Quoting 'paintme'I'd feel like I was being tested. NEXT. especially a social one arent we doing just that? testing the water? Seeing if theyre suitable?   Just my opinion of course   Kisses Focus But I'm from Cowra. I've made it clear i play in Sydney. If I get to the stage in my filtering process (and I just want to meet and play and have paid a bomb for a hotel room), I don't want them to give me a time limit. I would rather choose someone without a time limit. At the same time I see the hypocrisy in this statement, I have to go home on Sunday afternoons.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Buttsylicious, I shall be most honoured to meet you in person without the constraints of time limits, as time limits are of no issue to me. =)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'buttsylicious' I can definitely say that MOST of the 'time limited' people I have met have NOT been attached.I go to their houses, have them as friends on facebook etc. I think some people just like to squeeze people into their already busy day rather than dedicating an evening to something that might not work out or last very long.... which is what leaves me to feel insulted when a ridiculous time limit is put on meets. buttsylicious,I had the pleasure of being in the same chat room as you and I can say that most guys would love to spend time with you. You are fun, sexy, and funny just to name a few traits so my guess is either they had something else they needed to do or maybe they're just after something different or maybe they're too lazy to invest a bit of time and want the 'desert' without the main meal and once they realize that that's not the way it works, the bail.Either way, you have nothing to be insulted about. Just be yourself and you'll do just fine.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same..But I stand by my self obsessed/high maintenance thing. It's also worth pointing out that truly busy people always have time up their sleeves. If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do. ~ Lucille Ball ~ Quoting 'buttsylicious' .... which is what leaves me to feel insulted when a ridiculous time limit is put on meets.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    it's not like there is a timer on the table !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Given that you're meeting someone.... there's still that unknown element of whether you'll actually get on away from phone/email conversations.(Ironic, I know... when so many in here consider a meet is an automatic prelude to shagging like wild monkeys! Weird.)So a time frame is most likely a way of establishing ahead of time... that if its not working out, they have an exit clause.Or, they are busy.But if things go well, I bet that time frame just melts away.DG Is this a form of humblebrag ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Messolonghi' My personal preference - and this is just me, no statement about other people's choices - is to meet fewer people and try to shift heaven and earth so I have 'unlimited' time, or at least time to spare. I'm prepared to pull the plug after 20 minutes, or let things unfold. If someone offered me a "45-minute window", I'd probably suggest we chatted on the phone first. Maybe I've spent too much time interviewing job candidates... But a 45 minute date? Sounds like my psych appointments.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Ms_Devious' Quoting 'Messolonghi' My personal preference - and this is just me, no statement about other people's choices - is to meet fewer people and try to shift heaven and earth so I have 'unlimited' time, or at least time to spare. I'm prepared to pull the plug after 20 minutes, or let things unfold. If someone offered me a "45-minute window", I'd probably suggest we chatted on the phone first. Maybe I've spent too much time interviewing job candidates... But a 45 minute date? Sounds like my psych appointments. GOLD x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'LittleRedEngine' I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same..But I stand by my self obsessed/high maintenance thing. It's also worth pointing out that truly busy people always have time up their sleeves. If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do. ~ Lucille Ball ~ Quoting 'buttsylicious' .... which is what leaves me to feel insulted when a ridiculous time limit is put on meets. who quotes Lucille Ball!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Normally my time is yours. The time limit means nothing. Regardless of time if there is a spark you will simply meet again. Relax, play the game.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same..But I stand by my self obsessed/high maintenance thing. It's also worth pointing out that truly busy people always have time up their sleeves.If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do. ~ Lucille Ball ~ Quoting 'buttsylicious' .... which is what leaves me to feel insulted when a ridiculous time limit is put on meets. we work long hours...Shel til at least 11pm every weeknight, and i do a 12 hr roster...days and nights, some weeks as many as 6 in a row....but we find time to meet...and dont place curfews on our meets...(45mins?wtf).. we have 5 kids...2 who are autistic, its difficult we agree, but its not impossible.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I would rather not bother with people that can't even give me their time? Seriously? people are people not time punching robots! If it is that big a deal to them and if they are that bloody concerned about shaving their precious seconds off meeting me then they can go get fucked in my book!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'deepbluesumthing' I would rather not bother with people that can't even give me their time? Seriously? people are people not time punching robots! If it is that big a deal to them and if they are that bloody concerned about shaving their precious seconds off meeting me then they can go get fucked in my book! That last sentence is a bloody classic one deepblue,am PMSL at da moment,jsk

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Suggest you re read what I wrote. No tales here' my friend.. just telling it as it is.. Thats the way it is with my business.. I never know when the phone will ring and I need to leave... Besides' its just a chance it might happen so I warn in advance..