M53 F52
Time to leave RHP - or inject inspiration
August 21 2013
Comments
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Coops27M
11 years ago
Mrs cheeky! I don't know you so i'm not the person to tell you how wonderful you are but i don't feel it's warranted. I really hope the other wonderful people on here can help you!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
So sorry you feel this way. Do you know why you lost your confidence? And is it just body confidence, or are there other issues at play? I lost a large part of my identity in my last relationship, and it took me a while to get it back. I felt strangled, stupid and undesired when I was with my ex, and life in general wasn't fun. My first step was dumping him, and realising that not only my life was more pleasant, but I felt better as I had done something difficult that I was proud of. I started doing more things that made me feel like I was making a difference, both for myself and others, and now I finally like myself again. As for the body confidence, RHP has done wonders for that. And meeting many other ladies at parties and in clubs certainly helped as well. Hug.
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
I think I give too much, care too much, and I allow people to use my good will... If I can help someone out I will, but hate it when it is not given back in return n they only contact you when they need or want something.. Is that all I am good for? I'm very open minded n don't care what a person likes to talk about - but every once in a while it would be nice for someone to say ' thankyou for making me feel better, or thankyou for just being you n always being there for me' Maybe I just need a teaspoon of cement lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am so sorry to hear you feel this way (hugs)..I think as Humans we do feel this way and it's natural.I believe there are two types of people in this world.GIVERS and TAKERS.Givers give and takers well just take take take.I am a Giver just like you.There are many people in this world that will take advantage of others.The trick is to look after yourself as number ONE and say NO to those who take.I have learnt to do that, even with family members!!Hope you find what you are looking for.Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ms cheeky, i had split from my ex h 4 yrs ago & just felt lacklustre & had absolutely no confidence... I was then lucky enuf 2 find my current partner who cant work out y i think im any less then beautiful despite my size (he loves the extra padding!). He also introduced me to rhp!! He helped me explore something that id thort about 4 a very long time but never been confident enuf 2 explore! In the brief dealings weve had, uve always been lovely & sometimes people can take advantage... Maybe time 2 cut those people off... But ultimately if i can find myself happy again so can u... & by the way u look amazing!! Dont leave rhp!! Kat- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've been going through the same sort of stuff . It's time to re-invent yourself ! That's ok . Have you ever heard of "Saturn Returns" ? Every Seven years , big things happen (in your Life) . 42 It's a time in your Life when important Changes Are possible ... I , for one , would be sorry to see you leave . Your Shining Light is there for all to see . We all fear Change , but whatever Changes you're going through , don't worry , you'll come through to the other side . Change is Good ! OR It's a Mid-Life Crisis ! Get over it ! Take your pick ;) GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do not know you, however, I am sorry that the RHP experience has left you with an experience that you feel only part of who you once were. Any form of Internet dating site has the typical 'blow and go' type people, in fact, there are many in the real world. People in general are selfish and look after their own needs first and foremost, that is an unfortunate part of life, which nobody wants have to continue to bear. Cyber friends will not always be close friends or good friends and each one is there to serve their purpose - whether that be a true friendship or an acquaintance. As you said, Mr Cheeky and your TRUE friends are most important people in your life and it's the good, trustworthy friends that you should give your all your time, mind and spirit to, the 'blow and go' type friends should only receive your attention when there is something in it for YOU and if there is nothing in it for you, it's time to move them along. Please use this site for it's purpose, which is to have a bit of fun and enjoyment and the relationship or friendship stops there - entertainment, YOUR entertainment. If you happen to make a solid friendship great, if not, there are plenty others to meet and enjoy. Good friends take a lifetime to make, acquaintances come and go. Make this site work for you, not the ones around you. Chin up, you'll get your mojo back :).
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your honest enough to admit it, that is half the battle.It's not what happens to you, its how you respond that matters.Most people react.Have a listen to Careless by PK (Paul Kelly), it will do wonders if your feeling the way you sound you are.You may find that it's not as bad as you think it is, or could be.And in the end you have to keep on trucking.Thanks for sharing and I mean that, all the best
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RHP User
11 years ago
Everything you seek, is within yourself. Although Yoda would say "What you seek, within yourself, it lies". *insert emoticon holding up peace sign*xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hit the bike or the footpath or the beach and get some of those feel good endorphins circulating.
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
Spend some time with your bestie friends. Friends give & take. Suck in the enjoyment of being with people who are with because they want to not because they need something. We all need to be the one sometimes. Enjoy the company of MR C. Have a date together. Just the 2 of you, no taking, just mutual happiness. Spend the weekend together. Time to drown in a sea of importance with MR C. Cheers
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' Spend some time with your bestie friends. Friends give & take. Suck in the enjoyment of being with people who are with because they want to not because they need something. We all need to be the one sometimes. Enjoy the company of MR C. Have a date together. Just the 2 of you, no taking, just mutual happiness. Spend the weekend together. Time to drown in a sea of importance with MR C. Cheers
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Thankyou all.... When you feel you are not good enough - it's a horrible feeling - but I will put my big girl panties on n get myself back on the road of happiness xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've been depressed too - part of it was forgetting to wear my eyeglasses because I originally only wore them for projections in lectures and whilst driving - but I was agitated when I went out because my vision was worse than I thought. I fear the worst (suicidal thoughts) when I read and hear sad things - so here are some of the more recent comforting words I've heard: "We're in this together" in my professional business ethics lecture (I'm so glad I attend things lol). Reach out to your peers (in my case, finding study buddies is helpful), and forget about "getting back on track" - you already are; you're alive. :P Talk about your interests!*blushes*
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inspirit
11 years ago
over analysing! It is your worst enemy. Keep your life simple and know it is only you who can truly love yourself in complete acceptance. I over analyse and all I do is complicate everything. From family to friends to fucks off RHP or where ever..... It is then that I too lose my confidence in myself. I curl up and die for a bit and process. The out come is always the same though....I was being a twat. Bloody FULL MOONS!
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inspirit
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses' I think I give too much, care too much, and I allow people to use my good will... If I can help someone out I will, but hate it when it is not given back in return n they only contact you when they need or want something.. Is that all I am good for? I'm very open minded n don't care what a person likes to talk about - but every once in a while it would be nice for someone to say ' thankyou for making me feel better, or thankyou for just being you n always being there for me' Maybe I just need a teaspoon of cement lol Those who help others all the time and can not say no are in need of acceptance/approval. They feel they need to be needed and are therefore always helping others. I was like that once. I put the breaks on and as hard as it was at first, in the end I became a better person. I also made the most new amazing friends who did not ask for my help as they were confident with in and not selfish. You do not need cement.... I think you just need to learn to say NO. If a person rejects you for this then they are not truly a friend. As for family MEH! This is just my opinion and how you choose too read it is up to you
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RHP User
11 years ago
We can take and give xxx
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Coops27M
11 years ago
I used to have this problem, i still give where i can but i had to learn to sometimes say "fuck this, i need to be a little selfish and think about numero uno for a change". Your right in most cases it doesn't seem to come back when your in need. You don't have to be a bitch but you have to think about yourself first. If people don't like that then they aren't worth having. Your better off with a few really good friends then alot of average ones :). - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Chatting loads about their hobbies/experiences day/week in and out? *shrugs* GO TO SLEEP EARLY I ALREADY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT MY 9 AM START TOMORROW! Hahaha(I've just started using these forums. RHP may even wind up as a shortcut on my iPhone. Heads up.)
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BrightBubbly
11 years ago
I think that Smilingwithfun hit the nail on the head.You don't need to leave RHP but you do need to spend a little time nurturing yourself.I find that if I am online in here too often it can be too much to handle so I take a step back and prioritise - often I find that RHP (and what it represents) can become too much of the main focus and not enough of the treat at the end of the week...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mrs Cheeky, It is common for all of us to go through different phases in life. Unfortunately, This time around it’s self-esteem. The best medicine is to start something either you are good at or love to do. Most people find great amounts of self-satisfaction in activities like meditation, yoga, pilates or even something like kickboxing. It’s not a bad idea to leave the RHP scene for a while and concentrate on other aspects of life. Take up a hobby. Go Salsa or Ballroom dancing with your lovely partner and feel sexy again. There is no text book solution as each individual is unique. Maybe it’s time to discover yourself and find out what really makes you tick. Sounds like you have a good group of people around you. Affirmation from loved ones is always helpful. Good luck to you. I’m sure you will be back to your usual sexy self in no time.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Make time to try new things, step out of your comfort zone and do something different. A change of routine is like a breath of fresh air. I'm planning a short holiday overseas soon to do some adventure activities. Hopefully it will pull me out of the rut I find myself in at the moment. A change can be as simple as taking up yoga or changing the colour of your hair. Your spirit needs a boost so feed it! All the best. SF
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sounds like you tanks are empty and need refilling. Giving is a wonderful gift but taking time to recharge is the gift you give yourself. SF
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RHP User
11 years ago
Life ah what a game it is, best game in the universe! A game within a game it's beyond complex to many answers for only but a few questions?? Look around most of the bacteria on Mother Earth has an oversized brain when it's capacity was only ever designed for nothing but survival?? To many players don't understand the game yes out of control to many wrong questions asked for the wrong reason?? Open your eyes believe half of what you hear and none of what you see??!! Mmm paradox?? Confused yet don't be the question and the answer we already know our destiny set ,but only found by our choices!!? Basis write or wrong? Good or bad ? Love or hate ? Truth or lies? Simple isn't it????
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RHP User
11 years ago
Searching for your soul mate stop wasting your time go back you missed something?? Hint only you yourself will ever be mates with your soul for not even you can fully trust your own soul as it is pulled and pushed and spun around and told the wrong direction the brain will always believe and tell you it knows best tricks your soul easy your soul is simple has everything it requires so if you have a soul use it don't give it up or give in to your brain it will trick and lie to you every time??!! Hence the reason you have trouble trusting you can only for a portion of the journey soul and spirit have all we ever needed.
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chevtrek
11 years ago
We all have ups and downs your up will come again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Confident, Vibrant, Radiant and Flamboyant is WHO YOU REALLY ARE..An unhappy victim attached to outcome, is WHO YOU ARE NOT..You will be who you really are again, when you're all finished with being who you are not.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses'I think I give too much, care too much, and I allow people to use my good will... If I can help someone out I will, but hate it when it is not given back in return n they only contact you when they need or want something.. Is that all I am good for? I'm very open minded n don't care what a person likes to talk about - but every once in a while it would be nice for someone to say ' thankyou for making me feel better, or thankyou for just being you n always being there for me' Maybe I just need a teaspoon of cement lol try this... go to a children's hospital. take simple gifts for both girls and boys. ask if you can distribute them to children who don't have any visitors. take your time giving them out and really take it what you see... by the time you are finished and you walk out of the hospital, I expect you will experience some kind of apiffany and overriding wave of emotion. i'm willing to bet it will strip you bare, and when that happens, I want you to start thinking about what is missing in your life. it will give you a towering strength to do this, but it will also take away any façade or falsehood in your life and i'm willing to bet some truths will open themselves to you good luck. I hope you do this xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lock all the doors.. Shut all the curtians... Put on your fav tunes on... Mix a nice strong drink.... And dance your little ass off till dawn ..... Just cut loose........ Better still dance nude with your partner.... Dancing cures all. as does laughter... Laughing whilst dancing.. Man, wish you coulod bottle that shit... lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can relate to everything you're saying, but, I'm still figuring that out myself. The thing is, when you're constantly "fixing" people, and wearing the white knight suit, you become exhausted. It's tiring fighting other people's demons. Sometimes those demons penetrate the suit though, and without knowing about it, you begin to carry those demons as your own. *hugs*. Just try to remember, you should see yourself as more through your own eyes, than what you are through someone else's. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
firstly if it isn't just the RHP rabbit hole you are falling down Mrs.Cheeky but you are generally feeling a lot different, then there could be a underlying health problem,have a blood test,you might be peri-menopausal and your hormone levels out of wack. Secondly,take time out for you.Women notoriously find it difficult to say NO.You are a wife,a mother,a friend ,and have a career,when is there time for you.? And why not declare an International Mrs.Cheeky Day,invite your family and friends to a celebration of you,eat,drink,laugh,tell jokes...invite me I know some really bad ones ...sing dance and just have a celebration of all things CHEEKY
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RHP User
11 years ago
For reminding us all that we are only human and even those that appear to shine brightest suffer the same self doubts and reservations we are all overcome with and confused by from time to time.
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Thankyou all very much - think it's a combination of so much! Time maybe to do some changing n get out of the rut that I am in.. Life can be a beautiful journey.
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Plain
11 years ago
Life is for you cut out the takers and the demanding people out of your life, even if it means losing the odd friend ,people change if you feel that you are not appreciated take action for once and put the onus on them.Be yourself from what I have read RHP lifestyle people by and large are positive and especially you. Take care, take time out if need be. xx
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Has anyone heard of 'acceptance & commitment therapy' ACT - I'm going to give it a go!
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custardapples
11 years ago
I am in Vietnam at the moment .. be back Sunday. The 4 of us should get together when Iam back to talk. Believe me as bad as we all think things might be from time to time .. it's put into perspective when you see how most of the Vietnamese live.Mrs Cheeky your a beautiful / wonderful woman - the answer to your problem lies within yourself. I hope we can help you off that train. Mr Custard Apples, xxxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is it the same as Jim Beam therapy?? :p- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
What Freya said... Go and have a check up and make sure your hormones or iron levels or some such thing is not sending you crazy. And... What inspirit said.... Realise what you are getting out of being the helper, the strong one the 'giver'. Sometimes we do it to make things all about us and because we need to be needed. I too have had to stop and look at why and how I have made friends with some people. Especially when it has turned out badly. Sometimes it comes from a childhood where that's what we needed to do but as adults we need to change our behaviour and learn to look after ourselves first and allow others the dignity of taking care of themselves. Anyhoo, that's my 2c worth. Xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
but I'm a big fan of mindfulness. I just googled it and the guy who does ACT wrote a great mindfulness book called the reality slap which really helped me through some tough times. It really does help to keep observing your own thought processes.
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
As long as we can have chikorolls - Custardapples
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses'Life can be a beautiful journey. the 'bad times' have to happen, sweetness, and they always have a silver lining . they are diamonds planted on a deserted island and waiting to shape you for the better, once you connect them with some unrelated event. only experience teaches us the truth, it's just a shame preconceptions about how to live life 'happily' need to be broken down before we make our lives our own. good luck xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi, as per the other responses go do not leave rhp BUT get the balance right get around the people/ things that make you the person you want to be.Living in these times is so so fast paced and making the time is hard but if you do the things that make you happy and bring out your best mood it will all evolve from there!!!!P
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madotara69
11 years ago
All those people you cared to bother for, most will take it for granted, but if you give to one hundred people and one appreciates it, that one will stay by you forever, Is that person worth it?I think we have seen the best in you cheeky.Mado
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you are feeling low then get of RHP. I have just had the worst nightmare over this and lost a good friend. she was in self destruct mode and blamed me for all the things that went wrong for her on RHP.she even got another woman to send me abusive text messages. she said she was jealous and that comes from low self esteem. the damage you do to yourself and to others, when your not in the right head space for RHP can have consequences.to any woman or guy out there if you are not feeling 100 percent sure of what your doing on here then get offits not good for your self esteem if you need any kind of long term attention other than a nano second it takes to blow into your mouth.Op you do not need to leave, some times its good to shut down your profile and focus away from online stuff.I have just been badly burnt by other women, the texts I got made me want to vomit. never had any problems before re abuse its sad it came from a woman that has been in my house who I thought was a pretty decent woman. even I get it wrong sometimes, and to tell the truth if it happens again I will leave RHP, as I do not want rhp to contaminate the happy life I have with my husband.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think the cause of what is making you feel this way is a good place to start.And also how are these feelings associated with RHP?IMO you just need confidence (which you should have! You have a great body) - or something to get you motivated again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ms Cheeky I have just emerged from a self imposed break from RHP. Combined with other non related stress in my life, it was just getting me down. I was questioning my own standards (contemplating lowering them) and judgement, and I just wasnt feeling my usual confident, fun loving & out there self... So I took time out. I let our membership default to guest and I informed Mrfun we need a break from it all and to spend some just us & "normal time" (for want of a better expression) together. That was about 5 or 6 months ago and during that time, I have simply lurked on the forums really. Just a couple of weeks ago, out of the blue I realised I felt better. Happier, clearer, sexier....and back to me. Suddenly looking forward to some of the shenanigans I had lost all interest for. It was a break well needed. I just needed that time.... Hope that helps in any way. MsFun x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Lady_Tuscan' even I get it wrong sometimes, and to tell the truth if it happens again I will leave RHP, as I do not want rhp to contaminate the happy life I have with my husband. that doesn't necessarily mean you "got it wrong" sometimes people who can't suppress emotion they don't see coming let it out in frustration just because they need to vent. how they do it isn't always in line with how they feel. you don't need to "contaminate" the life you have with your husband because these people are starting to affect you, just change your angle..whether it be where you meet them or screening more before fun. either way, you'll still play...whether its here or somewhere else. so 'running away' won't change anything, will it? you're a free spirit and you compromise on that freedom
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madotara69
11 years ago
If you left RHP, that would be fucked.
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
All of you are so beautiful n reading your posts have lifted my spirits n I know what I have to do.. I enjoy being on rhp as I have come in touch with such incredible ppl n made good friends... N I love reading the forums - every time a negative thought hits me, I have to hit it harder with a positive thought....
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RHP User
11 years ago
good luck princess if everything turns to shit, i'll take you out on a plutonic date just to make you smile again
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Cheekyarses' All of you are so beautiful n reading your posts have lifted my spirits n I know what I have to do.. I enjoy being on rhp as I have come in touch with such incredible ppl n made good friends... N I love reading the forums - every time a negative thought hits me, I have to hit it harder with a positive thought.... love it love it
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are one hot lookn lady Cheeky, all the power to you :-))
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RHP User
11 years ago
There are a lot of awesome people on these forums.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have one meal a dayHave shelter over your headHave $1 in the bankYou are in the top 5% of the world in living standards.You really have problems?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its a classic verse and we all find ourselves emersed in self doubt at certain stages of our lives. When this happens we need the people around us to realise what is happening and give to our needs so the thoughts do not fester and make a mountain out of a mole hill. For people who are givers the expectation of receiving from others doesn't enter our thoughts until we need it and sometimes we overlook what we have been given but haven't paid attention too.The thoughts and kind words of others in this forum post have helped a lot of people and we have you, Mrs Cheeky, to thank for that so hopefully you can draw the inspiration you need and keep the RHP forum world a good place to be.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kizza1973' Have one meal a dayHave shelter over your headHave $1 in the bankYou are in the top 5% of the world in living standards.You really have problems? mental health is a bitch like that ..it doesn't care how well off you areMr S
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On_Safari
11 years ago
It's a very long story and one I will tell you via PM.....just got to sit down and get a chance to write..... but I will say this, we all lose our mojo at some stage, sometimes many times BUT it always makes a come back bigger, badder and stronger than ever, you see....if everything you wished for, whether good or bad for you, immediately were granted with no effort on your part you'd experience no fulfilment of your spirit nor your heart, for things achieved too easily lose thier charm and meaning too and it's only with life's struggles and the troubled times we go through that build our strength of character and endow us with the will, to surmount the insurmountable and to climb the highest hill. So wish not for the easy way to win your heart's desire, for the triumph's in overcoming and withstanding flood and fire, for to climb the highest mountain and grow stronger with defeat is to win the kind of victory that will make your soul complete. And sometimes it's hard to soar like an eagle when you're weighed down by Turkeys....fuckers!!.... Much love Indy xx
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kizza1973'Have one meal a day Have shelter over your head Have $1 in the bank You are in the top 5% of the world in living standards. You really have problems? G. xx
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kizza1973'Have one meal a day Have shelter over your head Have $1 in the bank You are in the top 5% of the world in living standards. You really have problems? G xx G. xx
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Soaknwet - thankyou so much for that beautiful compliment xxx Indagine - thankyou - I haven't lost my mojo though - its my confidence that's had a kick in the guts
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've been reading your posts for a long time now, and you are a beautiful soul. Look after you.
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madotara69
11 years ago
Take a Berocca. If that does not help, your gonna need to spill the beans.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' There are a lot of awesome people on these forums. FOXY
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just remember when your feeling down, there IS always some one else in the world FAR worse off than you are!!It about making the most of your lot in life and NOT regretting any minute you have on this earth, for WE ALL have but a short time before we shuffle of this mortal coil.SEIZE THE DAY!!!!!!! (carpe deim)
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Lol come here, take this teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up Princess!! You ooze awesomeness, snap out of it!!!! End of story (huge smile)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Beautiful words, perceptive perspectives and great points of view. Lady Tuscan, I need know words, you know how I feel about you.Cheeky, chin up, chest out, and cheeks where ever you think they are best for you to be.Go quiet on RHP, if you want to test if it is part of the problem, or stay on and alongside start with physical, then mental, emotional, spiritual. The Saturn 7yrs is real, Meonpause could be a reality. Your answer is in you and the questions you asked.Hey, go dance to loud music naked. Rug up and read a special book. Sunshine and lolly pops. Kittens, puppies and bubbles.Serving others is a major one.Oh.…just go eat as much as you can of the best quality chocolate you can get your hands on! You will get rid of shite, one way or the other.Wishing you the best, Rainbows and Unicorns.
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Love you indagine n I'm taking that advice - this princess is hardening the fuck up!! Goodbye sad face - bring on the smiles n sunshine :-). Princess x
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RHP User
11 years ago
cause when your smiling, the whole world smiles with you
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RHP User
11 years ago
I went through the exact same thing when i was married..i'd be stupid to regret it cos its what brought me two amazing kids..but that was what made it hard to leave..i lost me in a bigway and it didnt take long before my life started again..my kids are also happier now..she was the perfect wife in the eyes if my family but seriously boring..nevrr went out ..i temporarily lost my friends and i was feeling the Black Dog creeping in and making itself at home within me.. My advice is be honest to yourself only you really know what it is that is getting to you..dig deep babe and nip it in the butt now.. Remember the golden rule and live by this..YOUR #1 your situation is soooo common. u have taken the first step in realizing it now do something ..keep your chin up..shoulders back and tits to the wind Goodluck;-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
If, like me, you give, give, give all the time, it leads to staleness, falling in a rut, and feeling not so great... I too am thinking that it is time to move on from rhp... *wipes away a tear*... If you go, you will be sadly missed :-( It sounds as if your bloke is gold... You should listen to him... Let him tell you how special you really are... :-D Cheers S'nP
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inspirit
11 years ago
"Carpe Scrotum" (Grab Life by the Balls)
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