F59
Time wasting.
April 02 2014
Comments
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
1. Believe..... that YOU are worth the effort and that others should make that effort towards you. DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
that I prefer to meet as soon as possible because I don't want to make connections with someone over the computer. People are often different to what they portray online, I like to establish that there is some attraction which you can't really tell on here. Some people let you down and others really surprise you. I had a guy who had a pic up that looked 10yrs old and said he had a 8-9" thick dick and it turned out to be 5-6". Why they do that is beyond me. I just think that meeting asap gets rid of any preconceived bullshit so you can build from what you see and like, rather than from what they want you to tell you.
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Good to see a new poster, posting. :) I understand and know exactly what you are saying..I get you. What you are feeling is quite normal and OK.. First time nerves are awful...I get nervous pees!! When I first started here (18mths ago) I was so terrified and had this biggest fear of meeting people. Guess being an introvert does that. However I have stepped outside my safety comfort zone quite a few times now. It's been empowering and liberating yet at the same time scary. Sometimes we gotta do that for ourselves. I just had to find my inner confidence and believe in myself that I can meet people and it's OK to do. I have mainly met people at Meet and Greets, for me I feel so much safer and more comfortable. Just recently I flew to Sydney to meet some people from here...I was shitting myself days prior going outside my comfort safety zone..I never thought I could do something like that..EVER! However I did it...and am glad I did. :) Foxy
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lovman8
11 years ago
Pick a selected target, or pick some one seemingly acceptable who targets you. Exchange a few messages via rhp. If things still seem reasonable perhaps have a phone conversation or two. It can be down securely if you ring them. And you get more insight into personality talking to a real person. If things still feel reasonable meet for just coffee (really just coffee ) in a public place at a busy time. If you get this far I'm sure you will be able to work out if there is any mutual interest and whether you interested int taking things to the next step whatever that might be for you. And good luck and have fun.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think you just have to bite the bullet. Be brave and make yourself feel better by ensuring you have plans in place so others know where you are, how long you will be, your safety is important. Agree to meet in a public place and keep it short, a simple coffee or a drink as it is easier to make more time if you are comfortable than to get away if you aren't. Don;t forget that you don't owe anybody anything and it helps if you don't encourage any sexual innuendo beforehand and make sure they understand that you are not promising anything, just meet first. If things happen then bonus!! If you aren't comfortable, just be nice about it, unless someone is being a rude prick, there is no need to make them feel bad. Even if there is no real attraction and you don't want to take it further, there is no reason you can't enjoy their company. Just make sure they know where they stand so they aren't under any illusion that you re a sure thing just because you turned up. The more you do it, the more you will become comfortable with it. No time like the present!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
As though you are meeting up with a friend. I would suggest you take it at your own pace and meet for coffee or drinks and see if there is any spark or interest from both parties. Don't worry about pressuring yourself into believing you have to hook up with somebody before you are ready. Just be honest and upfront about your nerves and how you would like the first meet to play out and just take it from there. Be yourself and get what YOU want out of meeting. Good luck xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I dont like online chating I wood like to meet over a coffeeand then I can who is may be the one
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madotara69
11 years ago
Who ever it is you want to meet, should have you fizzing at the bung to get a view into their eyes, more than likely it's a two way street. Don't let stories change that fact that men have feelings too. Don't forget you have instincts to protect yourself, looking into another's eyes can tell a world full of advice to that inner self. Trust you not them, they have to earn that, be nice, be ready to walk away, be ready to go for it and fuck that man. Be ready for anything, got to live too. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is to go to some local greet and meets. Get yourself known. I remember my first one I was completely petrified as I turned up on my own. But they arnt really that scary and now when I go Its just like one big party. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Melanie and welcome to the madhouse that is RHP!As Foxy and others have said we all have nerves and second thoughts about being here, indeed it was ahuge step for me meeting up with Foxy and lots of other girls at the recent Meet and greet on the Gold Coast. It was a ladies only social night and it was none threatening and a great insight too, an environment where you could share yet have people around you who actually looked out for you. For me that was a great way to start off.I think I would be nervous too if I just treated it as a dating site, one on one arrangement, the social bits do give you opportunity to actually see people in open situations. From there I guess it comes down to where you feel comfortable going. There are some lovely peole on here, men and women, Queenslanders who will always be happy to include you in social bits and give you heads upp about people and experiences they have had. Don't be frightened to ask, anything.. most are not judgemental.. apart from the odd few lol.. thats what makes the forums so good too.. Good luck and welcome!
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you meet one on one, always have a friend know who what where when and a safe call. About ten minutes into the meet, that way you can say, holly fuck the house is in fire! then look at the guy and say sorry have to go. always insist on a phone call first, not just textscoffee or drink only that way its not expensive for him or you and neither of you are stuck over dinner if you cant stand the sight of each other. do not get hooked into the great texts the hot pictures the sexy messages. Keep it brief and business as in the end, you meet and they are nothing like their online persona or your not attracted to them
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RHP User
11 years ago
there are plenty of guys who will waste your time...most guys just want to collect pics and wank off there and then pfffft. Over it ....
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sweetgem
11 years ago
1) Do all of what Lady T has advised. 2) Please say no to invitation to meet at his place for the initial meeting. 3) For initial meeting, always meet during the day on a weekend (Sat or Sun)......that way you can also test to see if the man is truly single or not (provided that you were gonna meet a single man that is). 4) Always go to a busy place where there are many people, shops, cafés and restaurants around for the first time meet. 5) Wear something that you really love to the meeting, so it helps to make you feel less nervous because you know you are beautiful :-) All the best OP and have fun :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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discreet_liasons
11 years ago
And ALWAYS on YOUR terms. Don't be pushed or badgered into meeting always be your terms and under your control. If a guy can't be patient then he can sod off.
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
Either because you have not done it before, or it is important to you and you don't want to make a mistake. You are human like the rest of us.I prefer to organsie a meet during the week at lunch or after work then there is the time limit of going back to work or getting home that keeps things casual without pressure of moving faster than you want on the first meeting.Just remember...don't expect every one to BE the one and as has been said, treat it like meeting a friend and chatting.This particularly worked for me. ET xox
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
don't worry about it.If they can't have patience to move at a pace which is comfortable for you then they are being too pushy and probably not interested in anything but themselves. ET xox
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RHP User
11 years ago
I really don't like that reference. It is used by guys (and maybe girls??) who just want to get laid and don't care who they do it with. I don't find it a waste of time getting to know someone. I think it is fun getting to know new people, everyone has something to bring to the table even if you don't like them. It helps establish to yourself your own preferences, it keeps your senses aware, helps to spot liars/cheats/users, and some people could become good friends, casual acquaintances, someone to chat with in a lonely moment or if you are lucky, you could find 'the one'.
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RHP User
11 years ago
that you are only meeting up to get to know the person better....no pressure to have to play.Turn the nerves into excitement :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am a shocker for being nervous. Plus I quite often have to cancel due to kids work etc. I find for me the best way is a spur of the moment meeting. This way I have no time to chicken out. Meet for a cuppa or a drink or even a walk around the duck pond. But yeah that's me. I've met some lovely people in this site. Some total wankers too. But the lovely ones are awesome. Good luck in your new journey to find friends, if you're ever up my way I'll meet you for a cuppa :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
- Always tell a friend (or someone on RHP) where you are, and with whom - Cusually tell your date you have done this - Always have enough money for a taxi, in case you want to leave quickly without being followed - Don't tell your date where you live. I used to tell guys I lived in the suburb next to mine - Never accept a drink that you have not witnessed being poured - Before going to the bathroom make sure your glass is empty, so you can get a fresh one when you come back But most importantly, trust your gut and know it is not rude to make your exit if you're not completely at ease.
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RHP User
11 years ago
don't feel like you would be wasting someone's time by agreeing to and attending a meet then deciding at or after the meet that you don't want to hook up and play. It's very considerate of you to think about the other person's time in this respect, but if all the other person wants is a quick yes let's play now, and they haven't been upfront about that by saying 'play meets only' then quite possibly it is them wasting your time. If you want to be extra considerate then just mention in a message that you just want to meet and see if there is any chemistry, or click or whatever term you're comfortable with, then see how the other person responds. You should always feel comfortable and confident to put sex off to a latter date, casual or not, it is up to you. Time wasting is more about meets with people who are nothing like their profile, pics, messages, etc. Nobody wants to take time to meet and have their expectations dashed, better to under promise and over deliver, go for a wow factor when you actually meet which gets the connection off to an exciting start.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you so much for the welcomes and the good advice. There really are some lovely people on here. I feel a better already . I think I was fearful that because this is not a vanilla site that the rules would be different..ie: sex was expected. HUGE sigh of relief.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting Mischieviouslad, "1. Believe..... that YOU are worth the effort and that others should make that effort towards you. DG" The words "as you do with them." Otherwise it suggests that whatever the interaction, it won't be mutually viable. As I deserve - as a male - the same amount of respect and the same feeling of being desired as any woman does. - Posted from rhpmobile
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passion8_l
11 years ago
that chatting a little by email, text or phone beforehand helps establish a bit if a connection. Then meet for a drink in a public place and have no expectations, relax and just take it as it comes. Good luck Melanie
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Melanie65' I think I was fearful that because this is not a vanilla site that the rules would be different..ie: sex was expected. HUGE sigh of relief. I never sleep with people on a first date, unless they're visiting from a different state. My profile says "Meet first, play later", so people are aware of this before we meet.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Good to see you, Stir.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Meet n greet doesn't have to mean sex. I happily admit to meeting with quite a few guys n not taking it any further. Some ppl are just meant to be friends and others you find an attraction strong enough to be lovers whether it be a one off fling or an on going fwb. I myself prefer quality not quantity. I haven't been on here all that long myself. Just when you do organise something make your intentions clear.. 'I want to meet you for a coffee first to see if we gel?' I was lucky enough to gel quite quickly with a lovely man with a similar outlook to life as mine. Good luck and happy hunting. Leanne :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Melanie My profile name is a little intimidating for some people and i totally understand that so when i meet someone new it is even more nervous for them as they are thinking of multiple guys. Firstly you are the person in complete control of anything that is going to happen, if for some reason the guy you meet get annoyed or cranky because of you pr0castinating then you have made the right decision in procrastinating in regards to meeting. I personally dont take part in gangbangs as i love organizing the fun and making people fantasies come true, Having the added pressure of performing with another few guys is not really what it is about for me, so any guy you meet should treat you like a princess , just because your meeting of a sex site does not make you a person who will accept rudeness or bad manners, I believe that the people we meet from here are just a little bit more advanced than your average Joe or Joanne. It takes courage and great fortitude to get online bear your inner most desires and then meet people , eventually you will be very relaxed with it all and never even think about meeting a "straight person " in a pub again. We are all here because we like to live life just that extra little bit more exciting, if a guys is getting impatient then testosterone is taking over so he needs to release, so many men have not understood the basic rule of nature. When a woman wants to have sex , she will and it will be fun. When a woman does not want to have sex , she more than likely wont and if she does it wont be that exciting. When a man wants to sex ( see above ) When a man doesn't want to have sex ( see above) Hope i have been a help Melanie, its mostly common sense but above all its abut fun Andy
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RHP User
11 years ago
*tips hat* - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' I really don't like that reference. It is used by guys (and maybe girls??) who just want to get laid and don't care who they do it with. I use the term on people who string you along for a long time with no intention to really meet for drink or real one on one chat and really waste my time. Not really jumping into the sack with them on the first meet. I do care who I do it with, hence the time I spend talking to them, trying to minimize online chats/.email trails and seemingly endless txtings. I do want to meet the person to gauge real connection and compatibility and meet the real person behind the online persona. Melanie, like you, I am new here, been here for a few months. There are a lot of good advice here as per Lady T and Sweetgem and treat it as you would in real life. Know what you want, assess your connection, stick to your guns and if there is any spark/or interest on both your side, go for it. Just be very aware. Eyes wide open. Enjoy the ride.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Often lost in words are new prospects of play friends? This is based souly on a word being taken the wrong way n as a result being miss judged :((
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RHP User
11 years ago
Like everything, the first time is hardest. You just have to jump in or you'll never do it. Guys want sex so you're at an advantage here. My rules.... I am married. I always provide the hotel room. Sounds really suspicious of me but I never go to his hotel room because of hidden cams etc. I only need some sly dick to think he can get it over me. I also don't do the whole meet for coffee thing. It's meet and if all ok and there is some sexual chemistry I suggest we go to my room, or, if meeting with my regular FWB guy, we meet in our hotel room. Of course with him I feel more confident due to 'stranger danger' and all that. Always tell someone where you are going and I send a text at an allotted time. I've even stopped a phook session to text a friend to say I was ok. What's the worse that can happen.. the guy doesn't turn up and you go home disappointed (but safe!) or he turns up and you don't feel an attraction. You both go home safe and you just cruise for another guy! Good luck! xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'Melanie65' I think I was fearful that because this is not a vanilla site that the rules would be different..ie: sex was expected. HUGE sigh of relief. I never sleep with people on a first date, unless they're visiting from a different state. My profile says "Meet first, play later", so people are aware of this before we meet. I must be a hussy.... I sleep with guys minutes after meeting them. lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'ivannahumpalot'I must be a hussy.... I sleep with guys minutes after meeting them. lol Do you get quality as much as quantity that way? In other news: A guy's profile title I saw yesterday: "Don't waste my time!!!" I have a feeling not many women will...
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'ivannahumpalot'I must be a hussy.... I sleep with guys minutes after meeting them. lol Do you get quality as much as quantity that way? In other news: A guy's profile title I saw yesterday: "Don't waste my time!!!" I have a feeling not many women will... Sadly, you wasted a little of yours reading it.
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