M42
To all cunning linguists ;)
May 15 2016
Comments
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Van Gogh cut off his ear gave it to a prostitute who flung it away in extreme disgust. Van, whores don't want ears they want money. Working out I guess that's why you were such a great painter: you didn't understand much else.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's not mine but it does refer back to using witty lines in your bio. It seemed to be attractive enough on my page. I did leave off the last line or two, they were a bit much. "To a Stranger" by Walt Whitman Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you; You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking (it comes to me, as of a dream). I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you. All is recalled as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured; You grew up with me, were a boy with me, or a girl with me; I ate with you, and slept with you--your body has become not yours only, nor left my body mine only; You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass--you take of my beard, breast, hands in return; I am not to speak to you--I am to think of you when I sit alone, or wake at night alone; I am to wait--I do not doubt I am to meet you again; I am to see to it that I do not lose you. FYI- don't stress, I shave the beard off. ;) L_D - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
-probably should've taken a peek before I wrote. Great work JGT. - Posted from rhpmobile
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social_suicide
9 years ago
good weather is like good women- it doesn't always happen and when it does it doesn't always last. man is more stable: if he's bad there's more chance he'll stay that way, or if he's good he might hang on, but a woman is changed by children age diet conversation sex the moon the absence or presence of sun or good times. a woman must be nursed into subsistence by love where a man can become stronger by being hated.
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Languid
9 years ago
Now that sounds like a cunning stunt. Lets not get too transposed. Then one for either the fetish or hot travel or both categories. The ships dogs name was RoverThe whole crew did him over.They groundThat faithful houndFrom Singapore to Dover
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Sphincter by Allen Ginsberg........for a bit of fun I hope my good old asshole holds out 60 years it's been mostly OK Tho in Bolivia a fissure operation survived the altiplano hospital-- a little blood, no polyps, occasionally a small hemorrhoid active, eager, receptive to phallus coke bottle, candle, carrot banana & fingers - Now AIDS makes it shy, but still eager to serve - out with the dumps, in with the condom'd orgasmic friend - still rubbery muscular, unashamed wide open for joy But another 20 years who knows, old folks got troubles everywhere - necks, prostates, stomachs, joints-- Hope the old hole stays young till death, relax
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RHP User
9 years ago
Keep them coming! Thanks dream 😊 Summer... I had a feeling nine inch nails would make an appearance 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Beach and Dickens young men I knew Poets inspired by the Welsh bard In their habitual drinking ,but the words Always flew fast,humour a twist or two Working class lads it was always the Importance of the proletariate the Romance of the Revolution. Women loved them these silver Tongued boys,we scrambled into Their beds fucking them for their Silver words,the sex all tangled In their rhymes with no reason. Q If I was tickled by the rub of love A rocking girl who clutched me To her side .Thats the rub That tickles. Dylan Thomas
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RHP User
9 years ago
Should be rooking girl Q
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keen2start
9 years ago
That was pretty cool :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Holy shit... That's deep. Well played! Just thought I'd add to the threat... Now this one's from rapper Tupac Shakur. The song's called "My Girlfriend" but it's actually about his gun. He's easily dismissed as just another angry rapper but there's genius in his lyrics. Here's a snippet: All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend... Down to ride to the bloody end, just me and my girlfriend I was too immature to understand your ways, inexperienced back in the days Caused so many arguments and strays Now I realize how to treat ya, the secret to keep ya Bein faithful now cause now cheatin's lethal We closer than the hands of time, deeper than the drop of mankind I trust you dearly, I shoot blind. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Can I do 'Mary had a little pig' ? Okay I won't, it's too rude
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RHP User
9 years ago
No such thing 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Sorry I didn't realize we were doing favourite songs.here's one from tom waits Just the right bullets There is a light in the forest There is a face in the tree I'll pull you out of the chorus And the first one's always freeYou can never go a-hunting With just a flintlock and a hound You won't go home with a bunting If you blow a hundred roundIt takes much more than wild courage Or you'll hit the tattered clouds You must have just the right bullets And the first one's always freeYou must be careful in the forest Broken glass and rusty nails If you're to bring back something for us I have bullets for saleWhy be a fool when you can chase away Your blind and your gloom I have blessed each one of these bullets And they shine just like a spoonTo have sixty silver wishes Is a small price to pay They'll be your private little fishes And they'll never swim awayI just want you to be happy That's my only little wish I'll fix your wagon and your musket And the spoon will have it's dishAnd I shudder at the thought of your Poor empty hunter's pouch So I'll keep the wind from your barrel And bless the roof of your house
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RHP User
9 years ago
Any piece of creative writing with a bit of humour will do... And adult-themed too of course 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm not entirely sure of your actual picks from Ginsburg and Waits but I'm liking that is who's coming to mind. She walked in like sex could sweat All black stockings playing snakes and ladders climbing. Thoughts of wet Soft hair plunging Breathe Stuck at the bar Stiff as a board I'll finish it later.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
This song, the lyrics and intensity he sung it with, helped me change my life and now goes someway to explaining the urgency I do everything with, particularly sex. It helped me find the courage to make some hard decisions and live my life the way I wanted to. I still love it, loud of course, but the words are me, they define me. I now live every day, every experience, like it's my last. I don't waste time with the detail. When I was struggling not knowing what to do, I'd pound the pavement listening to this and feel empowered. I've only included some of the lyrics here. Also keep in mind my sexuality was a big part of this Bon Jovi It's my life This ain't a song for the broken-heartedNo silent prayer for the faith departedI ain't gonna be just a face in the crowdYou're gonna hear my voice When I shout it loud It's my lifeIt's now or neverI ain't gonna live foreverI just want to live while I'm alive(It's my life)My heart is like an open highwayLike Frankie saidI did it my wayI just wanna live while I'm aliveIt's my life and so it goes on, awesome song, love Jon Bon Jovi, he's a legend in my mind. Another part of the song goes 'Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake, Luck ain't even lucky, Got to make your own breaks
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RHP User
9 years ago
'When I shout it out loud' should be the last line of the verse
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not really funny and lighthearted...........I better do Mary had a little pig
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RHP User
9 years ago
okay okay since you asked I like crass humour so if you're offended by it, move along........................ Mary had a little pigShe couldn't stop it gruntin'She took it for a walk down the laneand kicked it's f*@$in' c&@& in sorry, it's bad I know, I'm a bad bad girl my kids are still receiving counselling Still not sexy though so what about this one, brace yourselves..........................told this one before but anywho......... Joe woke up one morning but his wife wasn't there. She was out in the kitchen cooking breakfast, so he called his young son in and handed him a note to take to his wife......... The tent pole is upThe canvas is spreadThe hell with breakfastCome back to bed She sent a note back saying............. Take the tent pole downPut the canvas awayThe monkey had a haemorrhage No circus today Joe sends a note back............ The tent pole's still upAnd the canvas still spreadSo drop what you're doingAnd give me some head Note comes back from the kitchen............ I'm sure that your pole's The best in the landBut I'm busy right nowSo do it by hand fuck breakfast, I'd be back in there like a shot
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RHP User
9 years ago
I lost my mojo, the lines are gone. The sausey bitch whispered something about giving him everything and stole his wallet! The end. 😜 - Posted from rhpmobile
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social_suicide
9 years ago
The Genius Of The Crowdthere is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average human being to supply any given army on any given day and the best at murder are those who preach against it and the best at hate are those who preach love and the best at war finally are those who preach peace those who preach god, need god those who preach peace do not have peace those who preach peace do not have love beware the preachers beware the knowers beware those who are always reading books beware those who either detest poverty or are proud of it beware those quick to praise for they need praise in return beware those who are quick to censor they are afraid of what they do not know beware those who seek constant crowds for they are nothing alone beware the average man the average woman beware their love, their love is average seeks average but there is genius in their hatred there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you to kill anybody not wanting solitude not understanding solitude they will attempt to destroy anything that differs from their own not being able to create art they will not understand art they will consider their failure as creators only as a failure of the world not being able to love fully they will believe your love incomplete and then they will hate you and their hatred will be perfect like a shining diamond like a knife like a mountain like a tiger like hemlock their finest art
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RHP User
9 years ago
These are amazing... Touch you certainly did kick it up a notch 😁 SS your poems are downright majestic! And L_D... You can't stop there! Keep going! That was the start of something epic 😊 I'm the meantime... It's a little long but worth it 😀 A Dark Night Based loosely on a true story, And an awkward tale to retell. I once met up with this woman, And almost in love I fell. We talked and talked for hours, Answering every question asked, When I mentioned a certain superhero, With a cape, black leather and mask. Her eyes shot open bright and wide, Apparently he was her fave, She loved his chiselled physique and how he was selfless, courageous and brave. After witnessing her level of excitement, From merely discussing the bat, I imagined what she'd be like, If she saw me dressed like that! So off I went to piece together A costume fit for Bruce Wayne. The more I bought the more I thought... Am I totally f**king insane? I thought "hell no!" and continued on, Keeping tight-lipped about my plan. She's guaranteed to lose her shit When I answer the door dressed as Batman. She'd organised to come over, After a night out with some of her friends, I started to panic and thought to myself, I won't get a chance this good again. So I changed and got into character, I felt like a total goof, For some reason I thought it was genius idea, To scare her by jumping from the roof. So up I climbed, to glide to my damsel, This is surely going to work a treat. But one minor thing I'd failed to notice, Was my nosey neighbour across the street. Sure enough she'd called the police, Concerned by the shadowy figure. As the sirens grew louder and flashing lights grew brighter, My fear of embarrassment grew bigger. So down I hurdled, hoping and praying that my idiocy had gone unseen. I thought of a story to explain to the cops, About the costume and where I had been. After answering the door to confused boys in blue, And onslaughts of uncontrollable laughter, I started to wonder, she texted "see you soon" but it was now at least two hours after. The police had left in hysterics, And on my phone I'd found a text. She said "I'm so sorry, I feel really bad, I met and hooked up with my ex" As much as I'd like to forget it, Hopefully one day, I just might. For now in my closet hangs a permanent reminder, Of the tragedy of that dark night. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Lmao tell me that didn't really happen. That's awesome 😂😂😂
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social_suicide
9 years ago
Jazzy that's a fantastic effort well done. I have no doubt that you would be great company with skills like that.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I_touch and Jazzy they are hilarious! I nearly fell off my chair by the time I got to yours Jazzy. That's so good and so sad! Um, do you still have the suit?❓❓❓😂😂😂 Please forgive my spelling, it's not me, it's my phone. 😉 Thinking of Mary and her Piggy, did anyone else grow up reading Unreal Banana Peel and such? I still refer back to them regularly. In the days of old, All my thoughts were gold. I might not be bold, But my hands aren't cold! 😬 L_D - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
No, I never read Unreal Banana Peel. Is it rude? Should I get a copy
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RHP User
9 years ago
As quoted by Carrie in Sex and the City, this love letter, or part thereof, written by Beethoven and found in his desk after his death, along with others. Not addressed to anyone, they suspect his love may have been married but we'll never know. The last line, so beautiful....... Oh continue to love me - Never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved Ever thineEver mineEver ours
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RHP User
9 years ago
And yes I still have the suit 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
The boy's still got spirit 😝 I_touch, they were kid's books full of silly poems, rhymes and nonsense. Naughty, in a Dennis the menace kind of way. They are at my level of Mum Joke. 😎 I keep trying to read them to my kids. My daughter's more interested in the deeper meaning of the 1D break up though. 😁 There are three to my knowledge: Far out, Brussel sprout! Unreal, banana peel! All right, Vegemite! I own all three. I'm sad like that. ✌️ L_D - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
That was deep! Can't compete with Beethoven 😞 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Haha the future Mr I_touch, yes he'll have to take my name of course, maybe our couples profile can be We_touch_ourselves 😜 God that just sounds creepy damn, but Mr I_touch might get to hear those words, right before I send him off to fuck the neighbours wife and await a full report on his return, his love letter to me 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
Haha omg so now I'm wondering why you didn't post 'Far out, Brussel sprout!' in the 'books that changed you' thread 😂😂😂
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RHP User
9 years ago
'Softly Softly' - part 1 by I_touch_myself2 Pressed face down on the bedI can't move...........I don't want to I feel your breathyour soft, wet lipsgently kissmy warmthsoftly softly from behind My eyes are closedlegs slightly apart.......I'm yours you moan Swollen lipskiss you back........wantingI can't take it anymoreshower youin my sweet nectar Quenching, satiatingyou drink me I moan I turn to your achingengorged cockslide closer........struggle to breathmy wet lips touch softly softly I pull away and hearyour helpless moan.........you're mine Part 2 coming soon to an rhp forum near you *batteries not included*
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RHP User
9 years ago
Take her down to "Meadow Lea"among the "Daffodils"then "Flora".Make her legs are "Spreadwell"before you ETA"(Remember the taste buds are on the top of your tongue)Then give her plenty of "Stork"A little bit of "Praise"And hope for a "Miracle"And if all that succeeds"You outta be congratulated" Anon/Unk
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RHP User
9 years ago
make sure* her legs are "Spreadwell"
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RHP User
9 years ago
Holy Jeebus dude! That was inanely hot!!! I'm definitely gonna need part 2 😫💦 Ontology... That's pretty clever mate. Who would've thought spreads and condiments could be so sexual? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
haha let's just say it was based on reality yesterday was a VERY good day Holy crap, can't say anymore, sorry dude if you're reading this but you know what a happy girl I was
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RHP User
9 years ago
I dream of beauty,smooth caramel skin Delineated by inky lines scrolling across Muscled planes ,connected tissues moving Underneath my eager fingers pliant and Responsive to my touch. Your breath now ragged with desire As I roam your secret places placing Soft kisses on your eyes,licking your Cheeks and whispering words of desire My fingers now stroking your Hardening cock,small pearls gathering At the tip now gleaming in its smoothness I dip my mouth my tongue now swirling My mouth now sucking,my fingers Trembling with anticipation waiting For the delicious milky flow.Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks Jazzy! What a great thread to get distracted by - a great mix of darkness and light of new and of old. Will follow this one!I have quite a collection of magically woven words I like to escape to often... Anyway here's my contribution to this epic thread I want to finger your thoughts,roll them gently aroundin my mind's eye,listen to the breaths you take& feel your body tremble,then lick them cleanto taste your true essence. by Jonny Angel
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RHP User
9 years ago
“I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.” “Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.” “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” “A hard man is good to find.” “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
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RHP User
9 years ago
A randy man invented a wanking machine but on the 99th stroke the bloody thing broke and whipped his balls to cream
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RHP User
9 years ago
There was a young lady from PrahranWho went to catch a tramBut the dirty old ConductorWent off and f@cked herSo now she's wheeling a pram
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RHP User
9 years ago
After a wet and balmy summers day, We hit a party in Noosa for some play. The hours rolled on and much grog was drunk, By the wee hours we were pissed as a skunk. Home was afar so I decided to drive, I would take it easy and get there alive. Down the back roads through cane fields we sped, When a cheeky thought entered my head. I stopped the car on the side of the road, Got out and into the headlights I strode. And dance and a strip ensued, While my lady watched, eyes glued. I finished up naked except for my jocks on my head, I returned to the car and not a word was said. She left the car and headed for the light, She did her own strip to repay the sight. Returning to the car, she opened the door, Then OMG! She was no more. I leapt from the car to see where she went, Then I spotted the big drain and it was evident. Thankfully the water had broken her fall, She lay boobs floating, baring it all. I helped her out and into the car, And searched around for her strewn bra. She was covered in sticks from head to toe, I removed the big Huntsman, she didn't even know. We belly laughed until we cried, Then realised mozzies had filled the inside. She cried "They're everywhere" and started to swat. And I thought I heard a voice, surely not. Out the window my head did hang, While my lady continued to bang. The nice policemen had parked beside, Full view of everything, nothing to hide. I gazed at him and my face grew red, I raised my hand and removed my jocks from my head. He held a bag and asked me to blow, I tried to grab it, but he said "No". So I leaned out the window and opened the door, I can reach this, just a few inches more. He said "You are in no state to drive". I said "We will sleep in the back, rest and revive." Stifling laughter, they eventually drove away, And I did a U turn and sped off, the opposite way. So again, through the cane fields we sped, Ending the story of "The jocks on the head".
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RHP User
9 years ago
One day, through the primeval wood, A calf 'walked home, as good calves should; Butt made a trail all bent askew, A crooked trail as all calves do. Since then two hundred years have fled, and, I infer, the calf is dead. But still he left behind his trail, And thereby hangs my moral tale. The trail was taken up next day by a lone dog that passd that way; And then a wise bell-wether sheep Pursued the trail o'er vale and steep, And drew the flock behind him too, As good bell-wethers always do. And from that day o'er hill and glade, Through these old woods a path was made; And many men wound in and out, And dodged and turned and bent about, And uttered words of righteous wrath Because 'twas such a crooked path. But still they followed - do not laugh - The first migrations of the calf, And through this winding wood-way stalked. Because he wobbled when he walked. This forest path became a lane, The bent and turned, and turned again; This crooked lane became a road, Where many a poor horse with his load Toiled on beneath the burning sun, And travelled some three miles in one And thus a century and a half They trod the footsteps of the calf. The years passed. on in swiftness fleet The road became a village street; And this, before men were aware, A city's crowded thoroughfare, And soon the central street was this Of a renowned metropolis; And men two centuries and a half Trod in the footsteps of the calf. Each day a hundred thousand rout Followed this zig-zag calf about; And o'er crooked journey went The traffic of a continent. A hundred thousand men were led By one calf near three centuries dead. They followed still his crooked way, And lost one hundred years a day; For thus such reverence is lent To well established precedent. A moral lesson this might teach, Were I ordained and called to preach; For men are prone to go it blind Along the calf-paths of the mind, And work away from sun to sun To do what other men have done. They follow in the beaten track, And out and in, and forth and back, And still their devious course pursue. To keep the path that others do, They keep the path a sacred groove, Along which all their lives they move. But how the wise old wood-gods laugh, Who saw the first primeval calf! Ah! many things this tale might teach But I am not ordained to preach. (Sam Walter Foss - 1895).
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RHP User
9 years ago
Nickelback - Figured You Out Lyrics I like your pants around your feet And I like the dirt that's on your knees And I like the way you still say please, while you're looking up at me You're like my favorite damn diseaseAnd I love the places that we go And I love the people that you know And I love the way you can't say "No" too many long lines in a row I love the powder on your noseOuh, and now I know who you are It wasn't that hard Just to figure you out Now I did, you wonder whyAnd now I know who you are It wasn't that hard Just to figure you out Now I did, you wonder whyI like the freckles on your chest And I like the way you like me best And I like the way you're not impressed, while you put me to the testI like the white stains on your dress And I love the way you pass the check And I love the good times that you wreck (The good times that you wreck)And I love your lack of self respect While you're passed out on the deck I love my hands around your neckOuh and I know who you are It wasn't that hard Just to figure you out Now I did, you wonder whyAnd I know who you are It wasn't that hard Just to figure you out Now I did, you wonder why Why not before, you never tried Gone for good, and this is itI like your pants around your feet And I like the dirt that's on your knees And I like the way you still say please, while you're looking up at me You're like my favorite damn diseaseAnd I hate the places that we go And I hate the people that you know And I hate the way you can't say "No" too many long lines in a row I hate the powder on your noseOuh and now I know who you are It wasn't that hard Just to figure you out Now I did, you wonder whyAnd now I know who you are It wasn't that hard Just to figure you out Now I did, you wonder why Why not before, you never tried Gone for good, and this is it Ooh
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