Too late to start after 30 years monogamy?

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  yes we have, tread slowly , make sure you are both in it together, and be honest with each other, It wont work otherwise.Enjoy S & S

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  wingman2014

  12 years ago

  Hi guys, why not go along to a couples club ? Not so much to participate but more just to observe what goes on. If you like what you see. Then go for it , if not then just the highly charged sexual atmosphere should get you both revved up enough to enjoy each other even more. You will also find the other couples there very friendly and understanding. Cheers .- Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Slow at First, I can relate to your predicament. My Ex Husband and I were monogomous for more than 20 years before we went down this path. It was something that was discussed for some years before we did decide that it was for us. Ending 30 years of monogomy is no small thing, and obviously once it's done it's done. A few points i would raise: 1. Be sure that the reasons for both parties are not because your marriage is "broken" and you think this will fix it. It will NOT. 2. Be sure that neither of you will have any emotional fall out from ending 30 years of monogomy. That that history is not vauled more by one party than the other. For some people the fact that they have been monogomous for so long is an intrinsic and important identity of their marriage. it's rather like virginity it can't be reinstated! (obviously you can discontinue playing) 3. Discuss, discuss and then discuss some more. 4. Speak to others who have been down this path - these forums are a great place, but meet and greet nights etc would also be a good idea 5. If you do go down this path, set some rules and keep emotionally close to each other, discuss every nuance of the decision, the play dates, the feelings and the physical pleasure it brings. Use it to bring you both closer together.   I will say that my marriage ended for reasons that had little to do with swinging, but it can certainly reveal the cracks in a marraige that is not functioning well.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  We agree with all said by Karynb, it is very challenging to start something as life changing as this, especially after so many years of having such an exclusive/inclusive relationship with one another, but for some the rewards are truely exilarating and help to bring you closer together emotionally as well as a sexually.   For many years we talked and talked about taking the big step and eventually with much trepidation after more than the 30 years, like you, we decided to go down this path. Although not regular or hardened swingers we have met a few very nice couples and had some great fun, discovering even more about ourselves, our likes, things we have not tried but wanted to, also learning more about one each other and our own relationship.   Always be ready to pull the plug on the idea and never do anything that both of you are not sure of, talk talk talk as stated before and dont take one for the team.   We needed to talk first to both parties before meeting and then after meeting for drinks/meal we went home again and talked some more before arranging the next step. It was still "go slow" rather than rush and we had an agreement that if either were not happy or able to follow through at any stage,then we would not move forward.   As stated we are still fairly new to this but have had some great fun and met some really nice "Normal People" like us.   Good luck and We hope you have only good meets with nice people!

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  Cheekyarses

  12 years ago

  My husband n I were monogamous for 19yrs before we headed down this path n we now believe it is something we should have started years ago! It's never to late...... But take it slowly! That is the key! Be honest with each other, don't judge other ppl, trust one another n if either of you are in the jealous category it may take longer! But just remember it's fun adult play.... And you can n will learn alot about yourself, each other n make amazing friends xxxx have fun n good luck ;-)

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'wingman2013'Hi guys, why not go along to a couples club ? Not so much to participate but more just to observe what goes on. If you like what you see. Then go for it , if not then just the highly charged sexual atmosphere should get you both revved up enough to enjoy each other even more. You will also find the other couples there very friendly and understanding. Cheers . Going to a swingers' club means there is no pressure for you to join in and it's a safe environment. Enjoy!

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  By far one of the sexiest experiences I've ever had was intense sex with my partner, on a leather (ish) lounge just inside the entrance to the main hallway around the play rooms at Couples Club. We were vaguely aware of people coming and going, watching us heat up, peel each other's clothes off, make love/fuck/whatever you want to call it, and get totally lost in each other. In a situation like that, inhibitions loosen, desire builds, and you start to imagine all sorts of new adventures you might never have thought possible. Ground rules are important for sure, and then put yourself where the action happens, even if it's just to observe or play together until you're ready to take the next step. For the record, I'm not interested in swinging, but I do love having sex in dark clubs in front of other people, and watching them do the same. Sexy times are good times. Enjoy the adventure xx

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Can anyone tell me where these clubs are?

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  We've been 20 plus years married and we guess now that we are less and less being parents we have more mum and dad time which has lead us to our journey last year when we went to our first swings club and to say it was awesome is an understatement lol - people there had no inhibitions and were freely expressing themselves. Being new and shy we could only look in awe (and look and look again we did lol). This has lead to us attending a swingers club here in Brisbane and has eventually led to talking to a couple of interested chaps who are wanting to play with us which has been rather flattering but made our world so much more Hornier and sooooo much great sex between us....... We're definitely keen to explore where this is going to take us but we ad open and honest with each other and at the end of day, if its no go for both of us it's no go at all. But we are having fun along the way too. You got to talk talk talk as mentioned already and we are sure when the time is right e time will be right. Good luck guys

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  Slow_at_first

  12 years ago

  Hello to all those who took the time to reply and give some honest advice. Much appreciated. It's sounds like you are all having a great time. I am not sure i Can get over being confronted about watching my wife with another man. Even though i think she deserves the experience as she has only ever had me. It 's going to take a while but hope to join in the fun one day. Regards- Posted from rhpmobile

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  Playful2looking

  12 years ago

  Its all being said above and very good too. All I can say is slowly. Make sure you are not pressuring the other partner to do something they may not want to do. Remember your realtionship comes first. For example dont take one for the team just because you partner is having fun. Dont play with another couple if only one of you wants to. You may have to say no to that sexy person if your partner is not attracted to the other person. At least until all the rules are worked out between you. Some guys are happy watching their wife play on her own or some wive's are happy to watch their man. Work the rules out first. dont blame your partner for having a good time when you didn't. It can happen mainly because women are more popular then men. It is fun we enjoy swinging and we were coming from a similar position as you. At first I was a little miffed to see my wife enjoy sex with another man so much. but now i love seeing her happy because We are very much in love and its just sex.

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  madotara69

  11 years ago

  30 years, your a team and earned trust for each other. Good luck to you both and let passion be the friend not the foe. We get pleasure for being together while experiencing the release of passion, we have the bond to be making love with each other while having sex with others. Guess we are the lucky ones, but hey we make our luck work over the years don't we?Mado, Tara xx

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