Transition from Chat to a next phase

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  For me, I find it seems to go like this...general chit chat back and forth via messages for a while. Perhaps we exchange contact details for a message service (other than RHP that is). Usually then it comes around to what we're doing on RHP, how long we've been here, how successful it's been. That kind of gets the ball rolling and it has gone from there. I don't think there's any specific way to lead the conversation to what you really want to, unless you be a little direct. I think people are adult enough to know generally people are here seeking some kind of sexual interaction, so it's expected the conversation will go that way. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  And tend to be quite shy but one thing I’ve learnt is if you want it to progress then someone has to take the first step. It doesn’t have to be an invite to a rolls event or anything that may insinuate something further happening. If you’ve been chatting and established a connection and you feel she/he/they (covering female, couples and males) feel the same then throw out a suggestion for coffee/hot chocolate/tea/juice ... something like this can be done at anytime during the day, lunch, afternoon, after work, week day, weekend and in an environment where you guys can suss each other out face to face safely if you know what I mean. At the end of the day someone will have to ask. And being the asker is always hard because you run the risk of being turned down. However not asking is worse because you run the risk of thinking what if... Take the chance... what have you got to lose? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Yep. Take a chance eventually, and jump in at the deep end. Ask her out. As for small-talk... that's all it's meant to be. Best to keep it to small stuff, I think. Save the big stuff for in person.

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  MsJonesy

  6 years ago

  Say something along the lines of... I've enjoyed our chats, how do you feel about continuing them over a coffee/whatever you drink, somewhere public. I'm happy for you to choose somewhere you are comfortable. See what their reaction is, and take it from there.

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  Mischeviouslad

  6 years ago

  I like to apply logic and simplicity to what people often make out to be much more complicated than it needs to be. You’re messsging.... the messages are being replied to (I will assume) with interest. So, simply ask for the phone number..... and talk like normal, real people do. Ask for it like you expect it BECAUSE it’s a normal thing for two adults to do. Hearing a voice, it’s tone, sharing some laughter.... that’s far more connective than static text or email messaging and can help determine if deciding to spend your valuable time with someone is even a good idea. (And that’s why I just don’t get the dribbling guys in here suggesting sexual meetings in the first message) If they don’t share a number, the reasons are... a) they’re not comfortable with you yet b) they’re not real Don’t make something simple.... difficult D. 😎

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  deepestpurple

  6 years ago

  He makes a good point about treating it like a normal thing that normal people do, that really does go a long way because it is a normal thing and if you start acting like it's extraordinary you are really sending out vibes that you don't know what you're doing. I get where you are coming from, everyone has a first time for anything and for them at that time it is extraordinary. Just be cool, rejections are normal. If they are responding to your messages you're 70% of the way there so you should take confidence from that. I also get that you are trying to be considerate by being non pushy and allowing them to remain anonymous, women definitely are more threatened by meeting strangers from the internet. That's noble to an extent but you should also give people the credit to handle their own business. Likewise, handle your own business, extended anonymous online chatting is setting yourself up to have your time wasted at best and be romance scammed at worse. Confirm they are what they claim to be asap and that they are willing to meet reasonably quickly after that. So many people use this site for so many different reasons and they are not always what they claim to be. Your "lets chill and have an icecream" angle is solid, use that. Something low key where you can both meet and confirm you're real is where it starts.

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  The_Phoenix

  6 years ago

  From chit chat and banter to an actual date. Meet for breakfast some where mutually agreeable. That was my go to rule before play with one big exception. My lovable lady and I met at a BDSM swingers party 😜 At some point you just have to grab the reigns and ride the horse 🐴 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  Personally the only way to do it is to make it happen and both of you play a part in that you both are wanting something from the other even if it’s just for a night make that very clear when doing so the experience can be amazing or crap depends on how much you both want to give over about each other the only way you can ever truely make it happen is to meet the chat the photos the words of lost wanting and desire can fade after a point of time spending too much time with that sometimes doesn’t go anywhere It’s either your piss in the pot or get off fairly simple Chat make a phone call and arrange the meet it’s always always face to face meet that will seal the deal if it doesn’t happen the first time for a meet maybe it’s cold feet if it doesn’t happen the second than walk away move on it can only grow from that but being honest with yourself is the most important part of it all when it’s all done that you give it a go didn’t work out The End - Posted from rhpmobile

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  Service_man

  6 years ago

  If you have chatted and she/they have shown the interest to respond. Ask for phone number or better still offer your phone number to at least hear each others voice. I ask for phone number ---if she has given her time to respond she has at least 51% interest at the time--this can change overnight LOL. We are all normal the difference is that on here we are honest about our need and intentions--.By asking for phone conversation it eliminates the wankers who have profiles here as females and just get their maggot minds off with the explicit conversation. I have caught out a few of these low lives as they never respond when you need to speak to them. Have I Killed an opportunity ---no just fucked off the cum stained keyboarders. If she is genuine then you can gauge a little more if she feels safe to meet. jxxxx

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  FeistyFatty

  6 years ago

  Never realised this was so complicated or convoluted an issue. For me, we exchange a couple of messages here on RHP then exchange contact detailes for another messenger service or mobile phone number (text only... I dont like talking on the phone to anyone). Then some more messaging there, usually more sexual as in what we're both looking for and whether there's any chemistry or enough likenesses to meet. I then leave it up to the gentleman to initiate a meet. When we meet its at my home, I dont do social meetups or dates due to the fact I'm really only interested in other married lovers so I respect their need for absolute discretion. Of those first meets, 95 percent have resulted in a steamy session..... the other 5 percent, well they barely made in through my front door as they misrepresented themselves. If I'm just after a "booty call/random hookup" type scenario with someone new that I havent played with before, I approach differently. A few messages on here, ask if they're keen and available to fuck, send my address and its playtime. No need to conplicate things and most men I've met on here and other sites have been fantastic x - Posted from rhpmobile

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  OkeyDoke45

  6 years ago

  Quoting 'The_Phoenix' From chit chat and banter to an actual date. Meet for breakfast some where mutually agreeable. That was my go to rule before play with one big exception. My lovable lady and I met at a BDSM swingers party 😜 At some point you just have to grab the reigns and ride the horse 🐴 - Posted from rhpmobile I don't message anyone these days, rather just respond to messages sent to me. Message ping pong is only amusing for so long, yet whenever I grab those reins and try to steer the horse oh-so-gently toward meeting up - even just for a coffee, the horse bucks my arse straight off and bolts for the hills. I don't know if it's just because I attract tyre-kicker types or what, but it is sadly predictable - to the point I just wait until they stop messaging, which they eventually do.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  6 years ago

  For me, if a man does not have the self confidence or the initiative to the next step, I move on. Ms Foxy

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  The_Antichrist

  6 years ago

  What’s the difference between messaging and talking on the phone?? Your fear.... There’s a saying that I think was a John Lennon quote... Life is what happens while you’re planning shit... Which leads me to my next point which is anchored into my first rhetorical question... Regarding fear... So you’re messaging away and you’re dying to show her you...what’s the worst that’s gonna happen?? She say no? Who cares if she does?? At least you’ve got a conclusion but most importantly you have DIRECTION....which you’re clearly lacking now right? While you continue to fear their response, you ALLOW them to control you... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  We usually give people our Kik Nick so we can chat. It's not giving out our phone number but can message when ever we like as you would text. If feel comfortable arrange a meet and go from there MrsB - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  I think the other thing to worry about is if the person on the other i stringing you along.Funny though that if someone asks what you did today, one person could give a Blow by Blow account of their day, while others can give so little.So you have to ask - Are they just shy? Are they just not forth coming with info? Could they be stringing you along?I know dating sites can create fake profiles to get you hooked and pay a subscription fee. I remember one site I joined. Within minutes of joining, I had 6 messages in a minute. These messages was a carrot dangling in front of a donkey. I delete my account when this happens. To ask the question - What is a reasonable amount of time spent on chatting, you'd be asking "How long is a piece of string?" I guess that's the risks we take. I do like Mr & Mrs B79's response.

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  MsJonesy

  6 years ago

  You said.. "While you continue to fear their response, you ALLOW them to control you..." Should read... "While you continue to dear their response, you ALLOW your fears to control you."

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