Trying to find a new partner after a break up.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  see above :D

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  It sounds a bit like you're trying to force it. I'm the opposite of someone that goes from relationship to relationship, having spent most of my life single (mostly by choice!) so I might not be the best one to advise you here. With that said, it might be a good idea to spend a bit more time learning to be comfortable with yourself before you seek out a partner to complete you. It's good that you're going out to enjoy yourself - who says you need to be flirty with randoms? If it needs to be forced then it's not working.As for meeting new people, I don't think it's healthy to try and find 'the one' - you're better off immersing yourself in different activities that widen your social network - join clubs, community groups, sports etc. Not only is meeting people through hobbies the best and easiest way to do it (starting from a mutual interest!,) the more you do the more interesting you become. It's win-win!Good luck!

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  I guess it depends what you are looking for in your new partner ??   3 choices   A fuck-buddy A friend with benefits or... A serious relationship   Are you over your past relationship ? If not, maybe you need to work out why... clear the mud off the windscreen first.   If you are happy and ready to move on, then the 3 options come into play... Try taking up new hobbies, when i broke up after a 12y relationship, i took up latin dancing lessons, and believe me... some good sorts. There are lots of activities you can do that give you so many opportunities.   Just put yourself out there, but dont go into it with the mind-frame of big expectations. Just go with the flow...

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  Mr_MrsAraps

  12 years ago

  My 2cIt sounds like to me that you need to sort out yourself first. If you don't have the will or the drive then forcing yourself and putting pressure on you is prob not the best way to go about it. Like you said, go out and spend some time enjoying the things you like to do and the rest will take care of themselves when you are ready.Oh, and a bit of patience on RHP doesn't go astray either Cheers,W.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time but you can't push these things. You are young so If I was you I would go out and enjoy myself and not worry about finding a partner right now. You will know when you are ready to find someone new. So go out and enjoy life, join a few clubs, or do a few courses, do some charity work, do things you enjoy doing and that way you will meet like minded people. One day you will meet someone and it will feel right. In the mean time be happy. xx

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  exactly how long it is since your breakup OP but 26 is still quite young. Enjoy this time of being single. When my marriage broke up I bought an around the world ticket and travelled by myself for two months. I think it was one of the best things I ever did for me.When you are half of a couple as wonderful as that can be, it is easy to loose sight of or not know exactly who you are. Spend time with you,make friends,follow your passions,do things for you.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  To discover the most awesome person you will ever have a relationship with.....and that is you ... Its ok to be alone................its when we do our best work...and when your sorted, then all that is meant to be, will be.....yep trust me..it will...but patience grasshopper, patience..         And if you can lose the desperation in your voice...(yep its there - Im not having a go at you...) welll you will be so much more attractive to the lovely ladies out there in RL..................................your young hon..........its all before you..dont wish it away :)

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  *man hugs* been there, done that youngin. It's been 3 years for me dude, but as you rebuild yourself, you will get your mojo back. But as others have said, don't push it. Rebuild, regroup, revisit.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Mate in the same sentence you say you are wanting a new partner and then in the next breath you say you have lost the drive. Give it a little time. The ending of a relationship can definitely do that to you, leave you missing some or all of the parts of a relationship but leaving you without the will to pursue one. Trust yourself. Go after what you feel like going for. If you have the drive for sex, go out and find that, if it more, a friendship as well, go for that. I made a couple of lifelong friends that way, absolute gems for whom I would do just about anything. Pursue what you feel driven to pursue. And don't forget that is is very human sometimes just to hurt until the hurt stops. It does get better even though it may not feel that way right now. My word on it brother.

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