M56 F60
Unsure how it will affect our relationship
August 19 2008
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mate, you've certainly hit the big nail on the head there. I believe that if you can come to an understanding before hand and establish boundaries for each other that is a good start. If each of you can play to start with that may be helpful as no one feels left out. There are many others who are more experienced than I to answer this one but they are my thoughts for what they're worth.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi, I would just like to say that i dont think anyone on this site felt any different to start with including me(husband) We have pretty much been there done that now but like you we love each other so much that we have so much trust it is never an issue for us. In fact i believe there is nothing more erotic than watching your partner enjoy themselves! If i can make one suggestion it would be to watch her with a male part of a couple to start with before venturing on to singles, That way if you are uncomfortable you know that person is going back to their partner regardless. In saying all this i think once you have done it you wont look back! Good luck and i hope this helps?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Yeah well! I been married for 7 years now and we have 5 kids together and our sex life has gone out the window. But were happy. My advice to you is if your wife is ok with it and wants to do this for you, you have to accept the fact that after the deed is done you can never hold against her. This was your idea, your fantasy. Personally i wouldn't. I couldn't share my wife with any1 and vice versa. Unless!!!!! you both meet in the swingers scene then things would be different. In the end it's your call but be careful cause things can go up the shit very quickly. Good Luck!!!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mate, as you say, you have a history with the green eyed monster, my advice to you would be to let this fantasy stay a fantasy, We have seen jealousy through swinging bring a couple undone before, not pretty! Cheers Nev
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RHP User
16 years ago
Communicate communicate...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sometimes it is best not to turn fantasy into reality.
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RHP User
16 years ago
hi we are a married couple of 16 yrs and had our first threesome with another male back in march this year .to be honest with you it was awsome to see my wife with another guy and to see the pleasure she got from the both of us then there was the next day and i did feel like shit about it for a few days but that was just the normal bloke thing taking over was the other guy better than me at certain things and that sort of stuff .but after all that had cleared out my head everything was fine so much so that in may we found another guy to do it all over again and it was much better the second time round no ill feelings at all . the only thing i suggest is that you make some rules as to what can and can't happen and everything should be fine .also don't do it with friends that can cause some problems so i have heard anyway hope this helps
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RHP User
16 years ago
We have been married for 19 wonderful years and this has only enhanced our relationship.Not just the sex, although that is unreal. It has increased our love and respect for each other. There is nothing like seeing your best friend having the time of their life!!! and you both being a part of it. As long as everyone is happy. You never,never know unless you give it a go. Best of luck
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well thanks everyone for your replies. I see some wise & experienced words there which is exactloy what I am after. I hope I don't offend any here but I have also considered the fact that being the type of community that practice what they preach then for the most part your advice may be a little left of centre, IE it works for you so your advice would tend to be more positive. I wonder are there any here that have been on the recieving end of bad vibes from putting fantasy into reality? At least my view would feel a little more balance so to speak. I do understand that most of you are genuine in your advice & judging from some answers in particular the "Be wary" note has chimmed in & therefore my concerns about bias view could well be unfounded. Do I sound confussed yet? LOL Yeah I am, what do you expect when a male's penis rules the roost during certain hours of the day only to be slapped with a cold spoon by the concious minds reality check. It is after all our constant undoing! Either way, I have always intended to be clear & concise about my thoughts, wishes & desires with my girl. Our communication level is up there with the very best of them & this is perhaps the best reason I can explain as to why, when previously I have suffered jealously (Almost 15 years ago), I now feel like this could be something that might just be more than a fantasy that never sees the light of day. I guess the true question for me is "How do WE feel about it & am I happy with the level of support in my concerns my partner shows" Thanks guys, yours Horny Paranoia (Unsure)
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RHP User
16 years ago
If you need to ask us here, you have not communicated it enough to your wife. You are not ready for this. Keep it a fantasy, and use it verbally to get off at home. Cheers
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RHP User
16 years ago
The reason why i wrote what i did is the fact that you asked in the first place means you aren;t really sure. Also, would your wife be doing this just to please you??
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RHP User
16 years ago
ill shag her oh wait, im not a guy dang it
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RHP User
16 years ago
When I was with my ex one of the things we tried was me watching while another guy fucked her. At the time little thought went into the situation. I did regrett the situation long afterwards and after me telling her how I fealt I was was put in the same situation. I don't think our realationship was ever the same as I never had trust in her again. Everyone is different though so I guess as everyone else is saying communication is the key.
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RHP User
16 years ago
i disagree with you coastsssssss
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RHP User
16 years ago
Donga27 you said that your relationship was never the same again coz you couldnt trust her well i have some issues in you saying that 1 you both agreed to it it was not like she had gone behind you back and fucked other people you were invovled in the situation so how does trust come in to factor here she was open and honest with you and didnt hide the fact that she was fucking someone else to me cheating is when you lie or hide or sneak things from your partner if you fuck someone else and the partner is fully aware of it and is fine with it i dont class it as cheating the way you wrote your reply to unsure was like you felt she cheated on you which is not the case it was just lack of communitcations between you two swinging is not for everyone and if you and your partner are not succure with each other and already get jealous and already have trust issuses with eachother and cant talk this things out then swinging will not work for you
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Rhynoche
16 years ago
Hey there Unsure67 Im with you here. I never suffered jealousy until I met Rhy. We keep our relationship with others as girl play and perhaps swap for oral but I feel to go the whole swap will change your relationship, I think its a very brave thing to do. I think good communication is important and if it feels right you will know when to move on but just do what we are doing keep it slow, no pressure no hurry. Just see where the journey takes you. Like us you will know if its for you or not but if you are feeling like this right now it means you're unsure that means wait have fun and enjoy what your doing and have fun with the fantasies. Kate x
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi First its probably good to start with couples clubs cos they are anonymous, you can leave when you like etc - most couples have rules - eg if one wants to leave you leave no questions asked or whatever Yeah you will certainly both get jealous - but that is almost part of the turn on when I have had group sex with couples we ended up fuckiing again alone and were really turned on It is only a real threat to your relationship if you both want to and don't cos one of you might stray alone Richie
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi First its probably good to start with couples clubs cos they are anonymous, you can leave when you like etc - most couples have rules - eg if one wants to leave you leave no questions asked or whatever Yeah you will certainly both get jealous - but that is almost part of the turn on when I have had group sex with couples we ended up fuckiing again alone and were really turned on It is only a real threat to your relationship if you both want to and don't cos one of you might stray alone Richie
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey there I just reading over the post on this subjet and was amazed to see so many genuine replys from peoples....... im always seeing posts from the weirdos and time wasters on rhp we have we have all had the pleasure of hearing from.......lol Just wanted to say from a single guys point of view , i have enjoyed many of fun times with couples and have had the pleasure of meeting quite a few first time couples from this site of late.... I have only had one bad meet up with a new couple where the husband flipped out a little when our party was in full swing which was cool but i then got stuck in the situation where they began arguing and the wife did not want things to stop so sudden as she was having fun and that he had been the one trying to convince her for 3 or more years to give it ago and when she finally agreed and was ready this had happen it did get a little ugle.... But i have had many great times with others and still keep in touch with alot of them ... I have had many chats with with them over the same issues you speak about and they all have said basically that there relationships were based on trust and that if either of them had any sort of problems or fears about the relationship to start with there would always be issues and most had simalar basic guide lines betwwen each other about contact with other people was to only done as couple etc.. I do love the idear now that couples are more open to idears like your own and have acted on them and had lots of fun and still have Fantastic relationships..... But it is still not for everyone Michael
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RHP User
16 years ago
hell,mate,these words could have been written by me! My heart started thudding as I was reading this. I am also wanting to see my wife get fucked,but ....... same thoughts as unsure. Appreciate the honest replies. The thing is everything that everyone says makes so much sense, wonder what the cold light of dawn will bring?????????????????
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RHP User
16 years ago
Now i am not a judgemental female by any means, but i do find it rather ironic that although you are obviously on here without your wife's knowledge, which i couldn't care less about, but you say you would think that you would like to see her being fucked by other guys, but you are not sure, yet you are happy enough to apparently pursue other females on here for whatever reason. So it is okay for you but not okay for her?? A bit of a double standard dont you think?? Please note i am not judging you for being here, but what is good enough for the goose should be good enough for the gander.
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RHP User
16 years ago
haha,"I am obviously here.........". ????? Wife and I browse ,inter alia, this site, together sometimes and fantasize about it. Still doesn't stop me wondering what the emotional impact on both of us will be, but anyway, we all have to ultimately sleep in the beds we make.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well sorry if i jumped the gun, but you do have a single male profile, not a couple one, so i couldn't help but assume that you were here as a single male.
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RHP User
16 years ago
If you are unsure ,how this will affect you two.Do what we did from the start and still do with couples. Start of with just same room sex,and maybe abit of soft touching,then see how you both feel about it all.
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RHP User
16 years ago
If you are really unsure I suggest keep it a fantasy. Seems to me you are unsure. And that its your fantasy and not hers. Has she a fantasy I wonder? If you both are into the same fantasy then consider acting it out. Make sure that the people involved are all the right people, whatever that means, and take it as a time of pure pleasure and not love. Saying all this I have experienced the pain and regret and the wish it never happened thing. But there have been a few good times and these are treasured. Dont force things in any event as this can really destroy relationships. Mars
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RHP User
16 years ago
The green eyed monster is ready to bite your dick off if you are wrong about yourself. If this is not talked out to the nenth degree and she knows how far to take things and where to draw the line then this could fuck you up big time. My wife and I have had women join us and it is just as possible to get jealous over that if things are not talked through. It's a massive challenge and if there is even the slightest bit of doubt watch a bluey instead.
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