F111
Validation Hesitation?
January 08 2014
Comments
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JessicaRabbit
11 years ago
I have a lot of validations and think it definitely works both ways. I've had men allude to the fact (not so subtly) that I must be easy because of the amount of friends and validations that I have. I don't try and justify it by telling them that I've been on the site for 6 years now and that some of my validations are from people i've only met socially and not played with. I've had others say that they messaged because they knew and so-and-so and had read their validation on my profile. I agree with you Mesmerised in that overly sexual validations don't really do it for me and I find it a bit of a turn-off reading them. When writing validations myself, I try to focus on the person and what I liked about them, leaving any sexual stuff aside. I usually write validations after a first meet which is a social meet only . As to people not contacting someone because of a 'hot' person on their validations, it makes me sad to hear that on the thread that you refer to I gave one jerk an absolute verbal reaming when (after I said thanks, but no thanks) he replied with something along the lines of "Are you retarded? I'm way hotter than anyone that's validated you." You shouldn't judge a person's worth based on their profile alone and everyone has something unique to offer. Jess xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Men with really hot, young friends and with sexual validations from hot women.... As a general rule I would say no straight off. I just assume that I wouldn't be able to live up to those women so why bother. Now the man you mention in your post Mesmerised, clearly doesn't understand single women. If you had given him a validation, particularly a sexual one, I bet that would have ruined his chances, well with anyone that reads the forums at least. They would have to live up to you, your reputation and your outrageous sexual adventures, which for most would be difficult to do.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think you have the wrong end of the carrot stick. Well for me anyway, I am not really judging the man.... I am judging myself. I am just a normal average person. Most men try and punch above their weight, a lot of women don't. I think... I could be wrong though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Now the man you mention in your post Mesmerised, clearly doesn't understand single women. If you had given him a validation, particularly a sexual one, I bet that would have ruined his chances, well with anyone that reads the forums at least. They would have to live up to you, your reputation and your outrageous sexual adventures, which for most would be difficult to do. This is true. I'm stuck in a regional, conservative city in which I'm lucky to get laid every 6 months at the moment (if I wasn't as picky it could be more, but I am what I am). And as for sex clubs, swingers parties, group sex etc. - they're usually only an option on the rare occasions I travel to a capital city. So yes, I admit that I do feel somewhat 'inferior' to some of the experienced regular female forum posters, and even if I had the opportunity I would be somewhat reluctant to sleep with a guy who I knew had been with one or more of these women.
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Beachlover1999
11 years ago
I agree with what you say........I can be intimidated if 'she' has validated or 'she' is their friend for the reasons you have stated. I think it's a girlie thing to, that 'she' is hotter, wilder more experienced than me!!! In part ridiculous but essentially humour nature is it not!!!?? Recently this happened!!!!!!! I was contacted by said hot dude and instantly this was my thought, plus a little 'why me'!!! He has the gamit of hot chicks and validations!!! Alas what may be perceived on the outer may not be true and as you say could/can be social friends and validations. I guess we just need a little more confidence in ourselves and we are amazing girls!!!!! Glad I took a chance as it turns out we get on great etc etc and more fun to come! Sooo take a deep breath, trust our instincts, take a chance and who knows where it will lead!!!! I have also validated recently out of a acknowledgment to the wonderful lovers they are! ;)
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wingman2014
11 years ago
I have given a validation . The result is I get my profile checked out by every guy who looks at her profile . - Posted from rhpmobile
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
They have not just cyber stalked they have made contact and got on with someone.. More than one says it wasn't just a one off getting experience thing. I usually only reply to people with validations. It doesn't really bother me who they are from... I don't think I've ever followed through looking at profiles of who they are from lol :/ Xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I never worry about the validation or the friends that a user has on their profile, and I was asking myself why people do last night due to the other thread in question. Why do we judge ourselves upon comparing ourselves against what other people look like?? It serves no purpose other than to totally fuck with your head, self esteem, etc... I've done this quite a lot in the past, judging myself on many things, cock size, oral technique, body shape etc. and I'll cut and paste a response I made to another thread about average bodies in swingers clubs.... "So I'll describe myself for the purposes of being sensitive. I'm shapely.....and round is a shape. While I'm not ripped with an 8 pack, I'm an exquisitely intoxicating keg. Better value for money I'd say....wouldn't you?? I'm also quite aerodynamic. Which means when I get towed behind a moving car, or train surfing, I actually look like I should be there for safety reasons :) I'm also very buoyant!! So when my daughters are in the pool they can cling to me, sit on their very lively pool chair and squirt people with their water pistols. The negatives are however, that so many people are intimated by my diversity and can only dream of being this awesome :) lol - Posted from rhpmobile" So just because I'm no super model, have ripped abs, or a cock I can plough fields with, doesn't mean that that other person won't like who I am, and by not giving it a go you're essentially removing their choice upon you're own judgement.... How is this being kind to yourself?? The same goes for the validations. Validations are words on a screen......that's all they are.....while words I admit can be powerful things, their power is only as effective as we ourselves allow them to be. Given that these words are usually written by someone we as the approachER doesn't know we shouldn't be giving them THAT much influence on our lives/interactions. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Does that mean I'm fake or, worse, a complete arsehole whose personality compares, badly, to a week old pizza? I have been asked if I wanted to be validated by a lady I meet. I declined as I don't look to other people's opinions to help me form my own. I've met up with ladies who have younger guys on their friend list, rippling abs and all. It doesn't worry me as I bring something unique, me. So, to answer the question, validations can be both. It's all in the eye of the beholder.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I figure that someone would not give a validation unless they want to be seen as associated with that person, which is a good thing right? It's like a stamp of approval which is great so long as I approve of the person giving the approval. The only time I don't like them or that they are a turn off is when I think the person giving the approval is a bit skanky. Generally though they tell me someone is real and a decent person. I don't offer or accept them though. I'm a bit too private for that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think it certainly goes both ways ..speaking from personal experience, I have a few validations on my profile .. A mix of social and sexual ones.. And given that I have been on this site a few years , there is a friends list there..... Some of the responses I get are along the lines of "too many friends" or "too many validations ..you are a player"... While at the same time some responses point to th fact that it makes sure that I am a real and genuine person... To each their own at the end of the day .... As someone pointed out, we can try explaining the back ground to the friends ( that not all are sexual etc) but sometimes gets too hard .... As for the intimidation factor , personally I would never compare ... Each interaction and person brings their unique ways.. For me it's more about the chemistry and connection rather than just the physical aspect... :).. So I would not hold back there mesmerised... And I am sure you could give any lady on here a run for their money :)...it's all about perspectives!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd have thought that no one would have a bad one displayed - so they really don't mean much at all. A good validation doesn't mean that person will display those traits with another person. I'm more interested in a verification than a validation when I read a profile. What puts me off is a man having a multitude of "friends" that (to me) seem unsavory.
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RHP User
11 years ago
As the profile, then friends list. I never even get to the validation if the profile doesn't work. At one point I thought it was a bonus, then I thought, well if you go out with enough, statistics point that you will receive a good one eventually........ However, I am guilty of checking the friends listing to see other persons age and body type, if they are all slim and young, I'm not going to bother.......... This is not because I'm uncomfortable, it's because I like a man with varied taste and appreciation of the mind..... If any of that made sense..... Enjoy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've thought about validations from time to time.... In the real world I view validation seeking as very petty on the other hand I tend to get embarrassed when someone validated me! Web-world, My profiles validated so at least that is what I look like, sometime bearded sometimes not. Although in this scenario proof of pre-selection is probably useful. Maybe a should seek a validations, would be beneficial? Do people actually ask for them or do people just write them?
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Missb4u
11 years ago
I don't have a problem with validations whether they are sexual or not, however profiles that have lots of validations I will sometimes hesitate at. I know a few have mentioned in the posts above about how long they have been on the site so the volume of friends and validations in that context would not be excessive. BUT, I cant see anywhere on a profile where it indicates how long you have been a member so that's not something I had not been considering. I find I pay more attention to the friends. I am always curious if the person has met and played with all of their friends. So far I have not given any validations and I have not received any. Cant say I'm phased by this, but I am now asking the question does that link back to the thread on Guys - liking women on here vs in public in that I have not been asked or received any as these men fell into this category? Gees...it all makes my head hurt sometimes
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RHP User
11 years ago
I personally find sexually suggestive validations to be a turn off. I avoid guys that have such validations on their profiles. I mean, as if I want someone else to tell me that Mr so and so has a monster cock and knows how to use it, And, sadly yes....I would also avoid those that had validations from certain people e.g hot people, people that had completely opposite interests to mine, or people I would not want to associate with among other things. One good thing about validation is it shows me that at least the person does show up for arranged meet ups.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The best validations one can have are the ones that aren't seen.I know that quite a few people on this site know each other in real life and share phone calls and text messages so the validation of an individual is quite private and thus probably more accurate, honest and detailed. As for the written validations, on this site the only ones I would put stock in are those written by someone I've met or know well enough to trust their judgement. Friends (especially those who validate someone) of a person could cause the seeker to feel a little self conscious when considering approaching someone if they suffer from low self esteem and compare themselves to others at a physical level. (Thus the occurrences Wingman alluded to... the person looking wants to see what the "competition" is like and do they measure up to the "competition")This is not the person owning the profiles issue but the person doing the looking. If a person is secure enough in themselves and open enough to explore and make their own minds up then validations and friend lists will make little difference to them in the long run. SG
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Tart_Du_Jour
11 years ago
I have zero validations. I haven't even thought about putting any up. I've been on here for a while and met a fair number of people (mostly socially) and I don't feel like I have to prove anything. People are either going to believe or I'm for real or not. But mostly I think I'm pretend.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Based on this can I ask what the impression is of my validation please? Would you run a mile or give me a chance?
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Lol & JR.... The old "don't judge me because my profile is shit"... excuse. It's like saying..... try eating this turd... It might look terrible, but but but but... it's fresh!!! lol ..... I'm not a fan of valuations. To some it's used as a resume to advertise their supposed merits. To others it's seen as a catalogue of where others may have been. Ironically one profile I've seen in here went to great lengths to mention several times his 'descrete' nature.... Then filled his profile with valuations. Nope. I'm happy for others to do it, but I'm not a fan. I feel a bit the same about the friends lists. People collect total strangers. Recently an attractive 21yo in the Northern Territory requested friend status if me. I asked 'her' if she was planning to visit me lol. She was declined. DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't see the down side, I know where you are coming from in regards to 'I'm not as hot as her' but I think that's silly. Validations say to us that these people are real and normal. More weight is carried if we know the person writing the validations (or not, if they were idiots). Friends lists mean little if they have over say, about 20 friends. I know some people don't even pay any attention to their friends list let alone 'rank' the friends on the list. We see some profiles who have been on here for YEARS and have no validations. That says to us that they aren't meeting anybody. I know I could be wrong but I'm going to generalise because I want to.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Stir_it_alot' I never worry about the validation or the friends that a user has on their profile, and I was asking myself why people do last night due to the other thread in question. Why do we judge ourselves upon comparing ourselves against what other people look like?? It serves no purpose other than to totally fuck with your head, self esteem, etc... I've done this quite a lot in the past, judging myself on many things, cock size, oral technique, body shape etc. and I'll cut and paste a response I made to another thread about average bodies in swingers clubs.... "So I'll describe myself for the purposes of being sensitive. I'm shapely.....and round is a shape. While I'm not ripped with an 8 pack, I'm an exquisitely intoxicating keg. Better value for money I'd say....wouldn't you?? I'm also quite aerodynamic. Which means when I get towed behind a moving car, or train surfing, I actually look like I should be there for safety reasons :) I'm also very buoyant!! So when my daughters are in the pool they can cling to me, sit on their very lively pool chair and squirt people with their water pistols. The negatives are however, that so many people are intimated by my diversity and can only dream of being this awesome :) lol - Posted from rhpmobile" So just because I'm no super model, have ripped abs, or a cock I can plough fields with, doesn't mean that that other person won't like who I am, and by not giving it a go you're essentially removing their choice upon you're own judgement.... How is this being kind to yourself?? The same goes for the validations. Validations are words on a screen......that's all they are.....while words I admit can be powerful things, their power is only as effective as we ourselves allow them to be. Given that these words are usually written by someone we as the approachER doesn't know we shouldn't be giving them THAT much influence on our lives/interactions. - Posted from rhpmobile i have to say, your post was the best thing i have read in a while...well done...words never sounded more true
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RHP User
11 years ago
Validations is one of the many features of this site that I don't really understand what purpose it fills. Not something I look at - or care about. The profile in general loses its importance after making contact.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes, I admit that, for me, too many validations or "friends" on a profile is a turn-off for me. I think it's a mix of "I can never compete with that" as well as "wow, you sure do get around". I make no apologies for it. We all have our vetting process, and that is part of mine. I don't go searching profiles, but I do view every profile that views mine. My main "gripe" is seeing the same "friends" on every second profile. There would be about half a dozen women that are serial friend collectors, and if someone sends me a flirt and they have one or more of these women as "friends", it's more than likely "thanks, but no thanks" from me.
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flimac
11 years ago
I think it's important to remember they aren't necessarily ppl who have had sexual interactions, someone else touched on this earlier in the post. I don't think I have a lot of friends, only 3, and of those ones a relative and the other is a person I know in real life and introduced to the site. I have about 150 requests from people I've never met though! - Posted from rhpmobile
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blond_gypsy
11 years ago
For the most part my validations have just made it more credible to women that: 1. I am genuine 2. I show up 3. I'm not a psycho These qualities are surprisingly rare from what I hear, and I've had a lot of girls say they only messaged me/messaged back because of them.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I don't mind a sexial validation BUT alot of them on a profile tend to give me pause. Same if the calibre of women/men/couples swings toward a preference for a particular build, age, etc etc. After the Brisbane Drinks night a few people contacted me for baludations but I explained I'd only chatted to them briefly and couldn't validate them based on such a brief interaction. I think it's the same with getting random friend requests from people you've never had ANY contact with (which I delete instantly) and even after developing a friendship with some people find they're into me for me not for any validation/friend thing on here. This isn't facebook and I'm not so needy or friendless I need to accept people from thin air here. Predators everywhere remember. I was given a validation once be a man slightly devolved, purely based on our phone calls and messages as friends. Non-sexial and it was lovely. Have been tempted to do the odd one for a few people here as well. I'd rather know they're genuine people.....if we're also mindblowingly fuckable too is something We may or may not discover for ourselves at our own discretion. There are a couple of validations I'd like, and no I don't consider those to be like notches on my belt. I wouldn't ask for a validation from someone who was just a fuck. 😇 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'They would have to live up to you, your reputation and your outrageous sexual adventures, which for most would be difficult to do. Yes, I have heard that one or two women have made a comment about me like that. I actually thought the same about you until we met! So... Quoting 'Luckdragon23'I admit that I do feel somewhat 'inferior' to some of the experienced regular female forum posters, and even if I had the opportunity I would be somewhat reluctant to sleep with a guy who I knew had been with one or more of these women. LD, for argument's sake, let's assume you are referring to me and feel "inferior" because of the things I've done, the way my pics look and the men on my friends list. . Meanwhile, I think you are stunning, dead intelligent and younger, slimmer and far more eloquent than me... Sigh. Isn't that warped??? . We (in general, not everyone) are basing our opinions on profiles, pictures and posts, a lot of the time without ever having met or even spoken a single word on the phone. That's why I love meet and greets. It just shows none of us are as perfect as some others may imagine us to be. .
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RHP User
11 years ago
love it...are we talking dollars or sense
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Two_Tarts
11 years ago
We made the observation only recently in conversation with a newish couple that if we had seen our current profile when we first joined we would not have even considered going out with us because we would have interpreted all the friends and validations as implying rampant sex fiends with expectations we would not be ready for. And yes we also avoided profiles because we thought that they were too hot to possibly be interested in us. After two and a half years here we actually find some of that pretty funny now because despite being a little more worldly wise we don't think that we are any more sex fiends now than we were then. If anything we have found that we are actually inclined to have sex with fewer people now than we did then, but we do now have a significant number of really good friends that we love to spend time with when we get the chance regardless of whether we ever have sex with them or not. (We certainly have not had sex with more than a modest number on our friends list, but we have probably thought about it and wondered. lol... ;-) It does make us wonder about the people we were scared of early on and never met for the sole crime of having done exactly what we came to do, but who just got here first and had already made lots of friends in the process. Such is life, and it often seems to be our own uncertainties that hold all of us back the most and it is always easier to put the blame for that at the feet of others.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'wingman2014' I have given a validation . The result is I get my profile checked out by every guy who looks at her profile . - Posted from rhpmobile They just want you
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RHP User
11 years ago
You're priceless, and I'll take a validation from you any day. . I wish Tuscan's one was still there, but it disappeared along with her. Content with my current one though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'blond_gypsy'For the most part my validations have just made it more credible to women that: 1. I am genuine 2. I show up 3. I'm not a psycho . That's what I think validations are best used for, not the "He made me cum over and over, don't pass up the chance to meet so-and-so!" I think those are kinda tacky, and I don't like being told who to hook up with. . Quoting 'bigguitardude'Based on this can I ask what the impression is of my validation please? Would you run a mile or give me a chance? , Though not for me, that validation would not affect my opinion one way or another. It's not great, but not bad either.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' Quoting 'Meeka100'They would have to live up to you, your reputation and your outrageous sexual adventures, which for most would be difficult to do. Yes, I have heard that one or two women have made a comment about me like that. I actually thought the same about you until we met! So... Absolutely... it's just somebody's perception of what they read and see on RHP. Of course often it isn't accurate, or when you meet someone you realise they are just an every day person but until then, you can only go from the information you have. I don't think this is strange, it's just the way it is online. We all form an impression of somebody from their pictures and what they write... even when you try not too.
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RHP User
11 years ago
We prefer to keep a bit of mystery :) However, its interesting how some ppl on here treat it like the more friends you have wins :| It can look a little tacky to us...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would like to point out that some people can be a bit verbal about who they have met and use this as a way of making an impression on others. Say for example, I may have received an email with... I am friends with Mesmerised, and I know that you two are friends. So hopefully you and I can be friends.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I may have received an email with... I am friends with Mesmerised, and I know that you two are friends. So hopefully you and I can be friends. My real friends know to keep their mouths shut.
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RHP User
11 years ago
They're trying to get to you through me? I feel so used!
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RHP User
11 years ago
But I'm just curious about who's bonking who. What a sticky beek I am!!! Life is pretty slow out here on the farm. Seriously though, I'll look at someone's friends and validations because it gives me some idea whether or not I might be their cup of tea. It's only a very small part of the process but an important one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' They're trying to get to you through me? I feel so used! well at least you don't get emails from spunky young men calling me by your name!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
This place is one big incestuous pool.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me'But I'm just curious about who's bonking who. I've not fucked all the people on my Friends list. But I want to.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can see the friend requests pouring in now :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
All and sundry are invited to validate me. Anyone who has met me will be automatically accepted, no matter what it says. Everybody else will be subject to censorship but it will only declined if it is abusive or straight out lies. Bring it in girls and boys. ;p
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yep. I tend to look at their friends list and the validations. If the women are itty bitty and stunning I freak out and say no haha. But I think that's just insecurity. - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
11 years ago
it is best to have no validations or friends on here as people tend to judge.
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Openly_Curious
11 years ago
We were undecided about what to do with validations for quite a while and only two days ago decided to just let the ones we had go up so it's particularly interesting to read all these different perspectives. We don't play with everyone we meet or friend and don't assume others do, either. Like some have mentioned, overly sexualised validations make us less interested in a profile - it's knowing that the person/couple were great to spend time with regardless of what or wasn't happening sexually that is of most interest. I figured validations were for people that we have actually met in person, while 'friends' would be someone with whom there was some decent level of interaction - a fair few personal emails, or chats, or (obviously) having met and gotten along. Tess
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FunTimeLords
11 years ago
The people we have met who had them were as described by others. It is also a good way to meet others who may have a similar approach to life as you. If you enjoyed someone's company, there is a pretty good chance a person validated by them may be a good social fit as well. Friend lists also help determine if the people you are interested in might find a connection with you. Similar looks or body type and interests in their profile make that first approach a little less intimidating.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've had several friends want to write a validation for me but have respectfully refused. I don't want to be contacted on the recommendation of another who may then have certain expectations based on what is in the validation. On the other hand I do like to read validations other women have written for men and yes, it does help me decide if i want contact with that person or not. As far as intimidation goes... I agree, as already mentioned, seeing a lot of hot or even young women in someone's friends list and validations does tend to put me off that person. Profiles are the only introduction we have to someone so reading validations can in some way give us a different view of the profile writer. SF
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RHP User
11 years ago
Cringe!
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RHP User
11 years ago
validations can look like DNA trail....complicated and long..doesnt bode well to me ...lol
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On_Safari
11 years ago
You're a man whore! But I think I love you 😘 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Call me old fashioned but why would i want validating ,im not a bed post freak or a diary boy or a little black book boy,im me,in this adult age of immaturity where if your not verified you can't be real,ha simply pathetic,99% of people on rhp don't know me,but yes I am real,yes I can type a response,and I don't need anyone's validation to prove it,take care peeps rant over :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't put a lot of stock in friend's lists. . I can't say I remember me/us ever declining because of women friends or validations. BUT men didn't/don't? tend to have so many validations, imo current and past at least. . Mind you, I don't put a lot of stock in validations either. . Peachy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Funlover71' All and sundry are invited to validate me. Anyone who has met me will be automatically accepted, no matter what it says. Everybody else will be subject to censorship but it will only declined if it is abusive or straight out lies. Bring it in girls and boys. ;p I forgot... I have to be verified to validate...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Totally agree. Nice to see someone actually using the other head for a change - Posted from rhpmobile
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London3rs
11 years ago
Hi first forum post here, we're newbies and as such don't have any validations.But we don't think people should be put off from potential play mates because they think they would be punching above their weight. As newbies we have obviously been like kids in a sweet shop. We've been going through the profiles and looking at couples and saying wow they're hot and moving on without the slightest inclination to flirt/message them because we thought they just wouldn't be interested. Then to our pleasant surprise most of them have messaged us with a real interest, some have even come across like they thought the same but the other way round. We guess what we're trying to say (probably quite poorly) is if there's a strong attraction to anyone you're going to perceive them as really hot and maybe think they wouldn't be interested so it works both ways. FWIW our opinion of the OP having looked at your profile, you're doing yourself a discredit and we would find it hard to imagine you being in the shade of others x
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RHP User
11 years ago
I like having a validation on my profile - it shows that I am real, and not one of the psycho guys that seem to be the majority on this site. At the same time, I don't want it to be too much, and give the impression that I am gloating or showing off. I used to have another validation, but it was a bit too much - so much so that it sounded like i had written it myself. For those ladies that are somewhat intimidated by a guy's validations from supposedly "more attractive" and/or younger women... perhaps you don't need to be - people don't always have just one 'type'. If the guy has contacted you - perhaps he just loves all types of women and finds you just as sexy as that other girl that he has a validation from. So you're older and more experienced.... maybe you'll rock his world? Male or Female, young and well built doesn't necessarily make for good chemistry - in or out of the bedroom :p happy hunting peoples :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do they really mean a great deal ? For me they only tell one small side of people that had a connection of sorts... Some people hate winter some people love winter so do we only listen to those that love winter ? At the end of the day it could be seen as a short debate ? The likes verse dislikes? The only way to see if anyone is real or even good is to test them by meeting them!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Validate or penetrate? :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I thought a whore got paid? I'm just an attention slut. Maybe I should start charging for my time??
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RHP User
11 years ago
Right or wrong - people judge and make assumptions period. Personally, I do not rely on others to form my own opinion on any given individual nor do I seek or need other peoples opinions and/or approvals to validate me or my existence. At the end of the day, if I'm perceived as not being genuine due to lack of validation, friends or verification ... so be it ... not my issue ... but then again - rhp is not my be all and end all.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Non-sexual validation though have you? Lol
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Languid
11 years ago
Validations are clearly important to some people and not others. In my deep non superficial way I look at the photos and if I get past them then maybe the profile. Anything beyond that is getting too complicated. Don't think I would seek validation for myself unless maybe I wanted to sell myself on Ebay. Then I might need a valuation as well as a validation. Any suggestions as to what an appropriate valuation might be? Must be Friday lunchtime.
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platinumblonde69
11 years ago
Those who know me know I HATE validations although I have succumbed and written a few for guys I've met, as a friend. I think sexually explicit validations are not called for. So what if you had great sex together and he made you climax 3000 times, that doesn't mean he will achieve the same thing with me, nor does it imply we will even click when we meet. Personally, if I read a guys profile and he has validations its a turn off, generally, there may be exceptions. I like to meet who interests me, not who is recommended by other women. We are all different. I have received validations myself, but I choose not to publish them. They are great, non sexual references, but I still prefer for guys to make up their own mind. Plat
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RHP User
11 years ago
I will write one up after I meet you next weekend. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I haven't received anything? And maybe I should have put a time limit on this.
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RHP User
11 years ago
This has been a fascinating insightful thread.... it has everything! I've cried, I've laughed, I've been shocked, disillusioned and surprised... but I've loved every minute of it. Above all it's interesting to note how your profile, friends and validations are perceived by other RHP'ers. I would also add that there are a lot of assumptions that might be made that are wildly incorrect!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks for the great responses all of you! .
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have a Question.... As for you Mes old buddy, old pal, on me friends list.... you don't need to have issues with other women and how they look,you are fine the way you are. Screw the validations...they make you look like a sicko
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kizza1973'I have a Question.... As for you Mes old buddy, old pal, on me friends list.... you don't need to have issues with other women and how they look,you are fine the way you are. Have gotten much better. Thank you. . And Kizz, my mate, my chum, my homeboy: the fact you left a meet a greet just so you wouldn't cock block me (well, and get a kebab) makes you a true friend. .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personally, I avoid the guys with a large friends list and Validations....my reasons for this are; 1. Why message me when you have 30 lady friends on your profile. 2. Why message me when after reading you validations, these ladies want to fuck you over and over again and hope to see you soon. 3. This is a shallow reason, but I am ok with the backlash..it's my body to do with as I please....If i see validations by BBW and women beyond 55 or women who look like scrubbers and the guy is 35 and under...sorry big turn off.....just desperate....just saying. 4. Sorry I cannot compete with the excitement of sex with couples and the guy loving to be the 3rd wheel. 5. If I keep seeing the same women on a lot of men's profiles...big turn off. Also if I know of the women from other sites...big turn off. After posting all this...I will say that I have had a great many friend requests from men whom I do not even know or do not even have a photo....WTF...are you kidding me...is this Facebook????? Needless to say I rejected them all as I did not want men that I want to meet think that I have had sex with all these guys on my friends list. Believe it or not but men have deeply repressed morals when it comes to a woman and how many sex partners they have had. I have had several men make the comment to me when I have not even had sex...Oh god yes I could so fuck you but I would never date you or have a relationship with you!!! Good Bye Mister thanks for the coffee. NEXT!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Validations are tacky.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The new disclaimer on your profile saying you have not had sex with me and aren't planning to, really hurts my feelings! . . (There, I got you a whole bunch of views. Am I a good wingman or what?)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' Quoting 'Luckdragon23'I admit that I do feel somewhat 'inferior' to some of the experienced regular female forum posters, and even if I had the opportunity I would be somewhat reluctant to sleep with a guy who I knew had been with one or more of these women. LD, for argument's sake, let's assume you are referring to me and feel "inferior" because of the things I've done, the way my pics look and the men on my friends list. . Meanwhile, I think you are stunning, dead intelligent and younger, slimmer and far more eloquent than me... Sigh. Isn't that warped??? . We (in general, not everyone) are basing our opinions on profiles, pictures and posts, a lot of the time without ever having met or even spoken a single word on the phone. That's why I love meet and greets. It just shows none of us are as perfect as some others may imagine us to be. . for example, as you will no doubt discover in a few days time, my eloquence in writing is unfortunately not always matched by a similar verbal eloquence . I've always been better at expressing myself in writing.
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Dirtydog70
11 years ago
How do you cancel a valadation
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RHP User
11 years ago
You did get a whole bunch of people viewing my profile. Pity its all guys with cock shots as their picture Hope your wearing a parachute
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'dirtydog70'How do you cancel a valadation You can try asking the person who validated you to do so. If this is not an option: Click on the Customer Support button at the bottom of the page and ask RHP to remove it. . You can remove validations given to you (that you approved) by going to My Lists.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If someone has a few friends - like me - it may just be that they give good 'text'. I have not (unfortunately) fluid-swapped with (m)any of the people I am friends with. And most of them, asked me and not vice-versa - so the ones I asked should feel special! I provided a couple of validations, mainly to say the person was reliable and honest in describing themselves and good to deal with. That's what I'd be looking for in return validations. There are so many cock- (or clit-) teases who will string you along and then vanish; plus even worse, no-shows, it surely doesn't hurt to know the person you are considering is at least considerate enough to not just stand you up without explanation. Of course, if you are a bedpost-notcher on your way to making your first million(!) knowing the person has a harem of followers might be an added plus - or not. Or, if they claim to be a sexual svengali, that they actually do know an erogenous zone from an earlobe (or even that the two may or may not be the same thing!) Either way, a cast of thousands or alternatively, no-one, is perhaps not a way to judge someone's prowess, performance or popularity.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't give or accept validations. I don't believe in advertising who I am meeting. Just my opinion :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kizza1973' Screw the validations...they make you look like a sicko Sicko.
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