RHP

RHP User

F55

Vanilla sex with a twist of lemon

April 19 2012

Just wondering what vanilla sex means to you? Are people, outside of RHP and other adult dating sites, more vanilla as a general rule? Do you think your generation, for example such as Gen Y or Gen X has an impact on how you view sex and what is considered vanilla or kinky. Of course, the access of porn has had an huge impact I think. I for one know that I am viewing kinkier and kinkier porn as time goes on... whether I would ever do some of those things is another thing. So I know everyone is different and what is vanilla to me might not be for someone else. I have listed some things that once upon a time (before joining RHP) I would have viewed as slightly kinky, kinky or not very common but have these things become vanilla / mainstream? Anal sexSpankingRole playing dom/subThreesomes (I think group sex is still out there for most people)Sex via text, MSN, Camming, etcFistingSquirtingBukkakeGang BangsStraponsSex toysetcWhat are your thoughts. xxMeeka

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    is the finest of the flavours - according to Bare Naked Ladies (which is how we like them best).If that list is what you consider vanilla I'd shudder to think what you'd list as chocolate. :)To us vanilla is sex between a man and a woman, bit of foreplay. We like vanilla, just in a triple scoop. And maybe some toys. And possibly some fisting and squirting and...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Vanilla is everything you have now done.........kinky is the rest of the stuff on your fuckit list :D I think we can and do become a little blasé once we are comfortable with something . And somewhere along the way you find out which parts really get you off , so you explore those ones a little more. One day you wake up and someone is calling you a kinky bitch, and you think ,"Hey! When did that happen?" Lol :D

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    LOL Mrs Tri... I am not saying I have done all of those things.. but I suppose we speak about them so frequently here I was just wondering if those things had become a lot more common... not vanilla per se. xxMeeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'D_G_T' Vanilla is everything you have now done.........kinky is the rest of the stuff on your fuckit list :D .......... One day you wake up and someone is calling you a kinky bitch, and you think ,"Hey! When did that happen?" Lol :D Have to agree with this... I know it is all relative but someone called me depraved and very dirty today but I don't really see myself that way. I know I am not vanilla... but I am not a real kinkster either. I am still learning. Meeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    So, why do some people explore this side of themselves and others are horrified by the very thought of trying something new? xxMeeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    That Quoting 'Krissy_G' Kink is always with you. From an early age (pre internet I dare say). Its nice to know that some people have the same interests that you share.   Its not like it has been never thought of before. Just now we have the oppurtunity to find like minded people to make it a reality. That is true Krissy but.... I have learnt so much about so many different things since joining RHP... and yes I have come across things I didn't even realise I would like let alone turn me on. So yes, I have been a little more out there and outspoken about sex then all my friends but I would have said I wasn't kinky... although most of my friends must think I am??xxMeeks

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    For me vanilla sex is where you don't push boundaries, you don't get loaded before, nothing illicit, no one watching etc, you are just giving your girl a damn good screwing. I wouldn't confuse vanilla sex with bad sex.Gen Y are definitely more open about sex, being bisexual, oral/anal etc. You can still surprise them though, the little darlings.Anal sex - Most have massive hangups about anything going up there.Spanking - For me that is part of bdsm, and most subs find it hard to surrender at first or regret it the next day. You need to cuddle them lots.Role playing dom/sub - Can't say, its always real for me.Threesomes - Lots of spontaneous ones, people laugh about it. Pre-planned is seen as kinky.Sex via text, MSN, Camming, etc - Does nothing for me. I don't think vanilla chat is seen as kinky, for me it is just boring. Uh uh uh, oh god fuck me. Blah blah. If I could get a remote controlled vibrator, nipple clamps etc that would be a start. Could make a fortune selling them to FIFO workers who want to fuck their wives.Fisting - Even just gentle pussy fisting takes a fair bit of trust, I think most girls would see it as very weird. But then, most girls haven't been fisted properly :-OSquirting - Definite fetishBukkake - If they even know what it is. If you explain, they think it is icky stuff done by perverted HIV+ve people.Gang Bangs - Def seen as weird. I would agree.Strapons - seen as normal for dykes, they think Penny Wong has one. Penny actually prefers scissoring and anal beads. M-F & strapons? The guy must be a poof. Much more likely the girl is a massive closet dom and possibly bi IMNSHO.Sex toys - De rigueur. (not including swings, rope, cuffs, masks, gags)Extreme kink: heavy bdsm, showers, cosplay, EWS, femdom, having too much sex equipment, ...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    ...as vanilla sex, there are only vanilla people.|One for the road...think about it.

  • jensta

    jensta

    13 years ago

    Perfectly Said ... I call myself the Naughtiest of Vanilla I still have a Fuck list ... I call it Adventurous Everyone has there own Kinks ... soft or hardcore .... doe's not Matter ... Be Proud of our Sexuality ... :P xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Vanilla was everything I do, kinky was everything you do that I haven't got to yet?Which I think makes you very kinky indeed Meeka!Mr C

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    what is it? Are there varying degrees of flavours? Is anal strawberry? Threesomes chocolate and gangbangs triple stripe with goody gumdrops thrown in? And what the hell would bestiality be? On that note, so glad you haven't listed that in the things that seem to have become mainstream. Does that make me a prude? Lol, I don't know, it's all subjective really isn't it, my vanilla could be someone elses chocolate and vice versa.   I think alot of people are held back by what others may think of them. Most people would have hidden desires that never get realised because of the fear of judgement by others, or simply the guilty feelings - which are probably only there because they fear what others may think.   So is there a line between vanilla and kinky? Perhaps a very wide line to encompass a few activities, and yes I do think that as time goes on, things are becoming more accepted into mainstream, with easy access to porn and websites such as these.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' So, why do some people explore this side of themselves and others are horrified by the very thought of trying something new? xxMeeka i think once you get your feet wet, your just want to dive in and explore... one experience leads to another, becoming more curious and comfortable as you go... in the past however, all my partners in life have been more vanilla than anything else, (boring).... so my kinky side has lay dormant in my own imagination for a long time..then i found all you kinky fuckers on rhp and a good playmate to explore with... now i'm making up for lost time.

  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    13 years ago

    I reckon we are just prepared to talk about it more. It's all been around since the Romans and before. How often when our cave dwelling forbears slipped a way from the fire side for fun did another person or couple watch, or join in. There are lots of good things in life we enjoy, food wine, camping in remote places, and wild sex. Just as you taste in food and wine expands so can your taste in sex. Although our age range for partners seen to just go up as we get older.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    you will never know if you don't try

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    for me Vanilla is just straight up sex.. its the flavours you add that put in a little kink.   I dont mind Vamilla time and a place for that .. but like most I love to add the kink whatever that may may   No meeks put that Cucumber down .. no salad here

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    13 years ago

    Meeka.. l think that people in touch with their sexuality a fair bit of *kink* is mainstream.....DGT and Krissy - in total agreeance I think sex is one of the few things in life you can keep exploring and not get bored, bit like travel.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    My favourite sex is strawberry,crushed ,dipped in cream,or chocolate,nothing like having a cunt full of strawberries and being eaten. Vanilla is a beautiful orchid,a sensuous scent.Pleasure is not necessarily enhanced by embracing the new and unknown,sometimes its about refining experience....and connection with the known. x Hugs H

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    We have only heard the term "our vanilla friends" in the swinging community meaning they don't have sex with others outside their relationship, they are not swingers.Never heard vanilla being referred to as specific sexual acts, can see how it could be applied but really a meaningless statement as its attempting to set boundaries without any goal posts!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I guess I use the term vanilla all the time... And I usually mean people in monogomus relationships who are conservative. They don't swing, would never consider an open relationship, etc. and of course single people who only have significant others... Never FWBs or FBs and they would never go to a swingers club, etc. So I suppose it is kind of similar Nomad. As for sex...I suppose I shouldn't have used the word vanilla. I meant common, mainstream, widely accepted in the community. BTW I am not saying I have done all those things or even that I want to do them. I hear about these things and talk about them all the time these days... But must be the company I keep now. But this is my question ... Is it more acceptable or have I been corrupted by RHP. Not that I am complaining :D

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Isn't this interesting?! I daresay anyone who doesn't know what vanilla sex is only has vanilla sex ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Meeks, I think vanilla is an entirely appropriate term; I use it frequently, both to describe some of my own intimate times and those others have discussed with me.To me, vanilla is about 'basic' intimacy; a couple of well loved positions that involve vaginal sex, chuck in a bit of oral and you have yourself some vanilla sex. I even think toys are seen as bit vanilla today, just look at the advancements in the technology there.A person's generation definitely play a part in terms of what we view as vanilla and in this context, I think vanilla is often seen as the absence of something, when in reality, it is an addition just like all the other flavours (a delicate and delicious one at that).As for you being corrupted by RHP? Nah, surely your mind has just been opened to a range of new possibilities. You've learned (just as many of us have) to see sexuality as a dynamic function of the human condition, nothing more, nothing less. Leave the thoughts of corruption for the real life baddies of the world and just kick back and watch the flavours go by xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I guess that's why we do what we do.We still have a ball of a time with each other, but we wanted more flavours, hence the playing with others.Even now with others, we seek more variety and also more choosy with who we play.Ed.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'nina90' you will never know if you don't try Exactly, and well said. if you dont try then its just vanilla sex. change up, push your limits and be surprised by what you may actually enjoy.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Thanks Kitten, InAdditionTo and Krissy... I thought maybe I was being a bit stupid by saying vanilla sex. Of course it isn't something you can put rules around or have a list of what is vanilla and what isn't, it does mean different things to different people but I stand by my definition above. Quite frankly, I think swingers can be quite vanilla too. Okay I am very new to the scene but the swingers club I have been too is basically vanilla sex in threes and fours and mores. The fetish clubs and bi-boys clubs are much more interesting. For me anyway. xxMeeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Before RHP I felt I'd been and tried a fair few flavours, was pondering some of the ones I hadn't tried too.... Then the RHP education slapped me in the face with all these exotic new flavours that I'd never heard of let alone could conceive whether I'd even like any without basically asking soooo many questions!!! I suddenly felt very vanilla lol! Yet in my peer group growing up I was the kinkiest?! So yeah I guess some peeps may well be vanilla and having had no detailed menu presented to them, just never know what else is out there to try?! Sex education at school skipped over a few 100 or so topics me thinks! Hehe I reckon my 20s coulda been turned up Andes notches if I had my mate RHP back then ...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Have to say, like a few others here your vanilla side tends to fill up more when those things that you thought to be kinks become a regular part of your sex life. And your "to do list" becomes that new ice cream flavour you just have to try one day hehe :-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    is not really appropriate to call vanilla, because its more like loving and gentle sex, kind of healthy and vegetarian.Whereas sex with another man is an adventure and can be ferocious, more like hot chilli, or it can be just daring, like bombe alaska. Sometimes the cake fails to rise.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    well i thought i was till i joined RHP   i thought everyone fisted, done anal, done nasty things to a mans arse and liked to be tied and whipped   but it seems they dont lol   although i did kinda have vanilla last night and id forgotten how wonderful it was   Hugs

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I'm with wowwow, I thought vanilla was like a global term for standard no frills sex. It seems the boundries are moving.   I suppose what's vanilla for some may be kink for others.   Saskia I was a neopolitan fan when I ate icecream, explains a lot about me...beatiality, I don't think that's even an icecream flavour, more pickles or something ay??   No offence to the beasts and anyone into that..... roast beef flavoured ice cream maybe??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    A friend told me that Peters n Brownes here made a fish flavored ice-cream for export only to Japan... Now I won't feel like I've missed out skipping trying that one! And I'd say bestiality isn't a flavour, it is too offensive to be palatable to anyone with heart! Kill an animal for food is one thing, but fucking one for 'fun'? Just fucked up!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    That Description ties straight into that pic of the 'vanilla' cave woman hehe I reckon u r the true vanilla :) well, until gladwrap turned u anyway...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    What's that quote? Something about vanilla is when you use a feather but kinky is when you use the whole chicken!I never stop exploring even though I have been doing this for quite a while. While there are several things I find disgusting such as scat play and beastiality, I have found nothing abnormal about BDSM. So much so that most of the things you have listed Meeka seem vanilla to me.I can be sensual and erotic and I can be a hardcore sadistic bitch. I think that takes me from vanilla to very spicy.I think vanilla is a perception rather than a label.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Sex with food is the best! Especially with vanilla ice cream ... :-))   From what I believe vanilla sex is simply the old school one on one sex - in this modern world and age ... could be man and woman, woman and woman and or man and man.   Forplay and oral is a must - especially with ice cream, cherries, stawberries and so on.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    vanilla was always the flavour left over in a tub of neapolitan ice cream ...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'BoobaliciousFG'That Description ties straight into that pic of the 'vanilla' cave woman hehe I reckon u r the true vanilla :) well, until gladwrap turned u anyway... mmmmm add to that a hot subbie boy, a flogger, a strap on, an anal pleasurer and im in heaven Hugs

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'kitten_n_shooter' Isn't this interesting?! I daresay anyone who doesn't know what vanilla sex is only has vanilla sex ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I thought vanilla sex was most of the month, strawberry was that one week a month and chocolate was when I rolled her over.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    play with others, is always vanilla in comparison to what we get up to when left to our own devices. we dont share the things that are just 'ours'...... and like it that way.....lol............

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I know exactly what Vanilla sex is, although the term is new to me....Vanilla sex is stifled marriage sex where you do exactly the same thing, in the same order, every time. After too many years of this I used to commentate to myself...now we do this, now we roll over, now we do that..... that's exactly how it was.Since leaving that padded cell I've discovered fuck buddies, toys, 3somes, group sex, the joy of oral (I never did it to husband), anal, dressing up, etc etc etc ... all in my late 30s.My life has changed forever, I'm a sex fiend and I'm damn proud of it. Having said that, my sex life is my secret life, and if anyone from the past had any idea what I get up to they'd be horrified. Which is why I'm slowly slowly moving away from that world altogether.Kinky is so much more fun

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Ok for something different but definitely prefer to push the boundaries.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    What ever floats your boat we say. Everyone has a slightly different perception, but hey, that's what makes the world go round.Although after reading some of these posts, I think some guys might be in for surprises!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    a few years ago, I was in Canada, and got prospected for an outlaw bike club.. To get my "colours" the boys gave me a FULL gallon of their Famous bootleg and had me skoll it..   Leg two was.. go out and kill the Grizzly Bear causing terror to the farmlets just north of town Leg three was to go and fck this particularly .. VERY VERY ugly lady who lived across town..   I Skolled the bootleg... Trouble started... Next evening I staggered back in the club house.. absolutely torn to shreads.. scarrred for life.. truely.. skin hanging off me everywhere..and STILL suffering the effects of the Bootleg... But.. I did manage ask... "Right oh fellas... where is this ugly ugly bitch I have to go and kill.......??"   cavey.. earned the name

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Haha thanks for that Cavey, I just lost my cuppa out my nose :D

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    The dried seed pods of an exotic orchid originally from Mexico. The second or third (I forget? And can't be arsed looking) most expensive spice, weight by weight, used by man. And you're correlating "vanilla" and "boring"?!? Shame on you :P Anyways, as much as I find the term offensive (yes, I'm smirking, don't get the strapon out lol) vanilla/normal/boring/whatever the fuck you want to call it, it is very, very different from person to person. This thread reminds me of a conversation I once had with a lover. "I have my period, your choices are assisted wanking, messy, or messy" and I remember him looking at me in a certain level of horror... Apparently, the word "wanking" is not vanilla, particularly assisted, and he couldn't decide which of the other two options was the "lesser evil"... My definition of "normal" options for that time of the month were outside his boundaries. He was shocked, but I tell ya, so was I! :D

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'rockabilly23'I know exactly what Vanilla sex is, although the term is new to me.... Vanilla sex is stifled marriage sex where you do exactly the same thing, in the same order, every time. After too many years of this I used to commentate to myself...now we do this, now we roll over, now we do that..... that's exactly how it was. Since leaving that padded cell I've discovered fuck buddies, toys, 3somes, group sex, the joy of oral (I never did it to husband), anal, dressing up, etc etc etc ... all in my late 30s. My life has changed forever, I'm a sex fiend and I'm damn proud of it. Having said that, my sex life is my secret life, and if anyone from the past had any idea what I get up to they'd be horrified. Which is why I'm slowly slowly moving away from that world altogether. Kinky is so much more fun really?   quoting the famous albert einstein or was it my mate pete, either way i forget,   "cheeky is when you use a feather, kinky is when you use the whole chicken"   not big into the whole german porn (chicken licken genre) so much prefer vanilla with a huge dollop of intimancy.   leave the bondage and sado whatevers to the trained professionals (C.I.A interrogators)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    if i was naughty I would say Vanilla is with your partner and kinky is with your F buddy,,,,,,,,

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'chickcara'Vanilla was everything I do, kinky was everything you do that I haven't got to yet? Which I think makes you very kinky indeed Meeka! Mr C Love your post! I am proud of who I am,I love being the sexy Biatch I am. Only rule in sex is stay safe!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Yes, I like vanilla I suppose. But you know, once you try things that are considered naughty, sleazy, kinky and just down right dirty...and you find that you like it. I don't think you can ever go back to just plain vanilla. A friend asked me the other day... I know you are out having fun and that is good, but when or where are you going to find someone, as in a BF? I told her hopefully at a sex club, etc. I can't go back to one on one plain vanilla... without alot of kink thrown in. xxMeeka

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    You know, I can appreciate that alot of what I may do is not considered vanilla or main stream or possibly even accepted in main stream society. But I was wondering if those "lines" between what is naughty and nice have slipped over the years? Are we getting naughtier or not?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Lordy, I am not going out to get ice cream with you! Lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think my list of supposed vanilla items are still majority out there since talking to some friends since that time. I think I have become corrupted thanks to RHP. Woo Hoo! Although I certainly have don't everything that I have listed above. Still 3 or 4 things I haven't done & may never do. ~cough cough~

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Meant to say I have not done! ;-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There is that lovely Vanilla creamy yummy Ice Cream we used to get as kids... can't seem to find it these days.Must admit, I had the best ever vanilla sex just the other day... I guess my definition of 'Vanilla' changes as the years go by and I'm introduced to new things too. What is 'Vanilla' today may have been 'out there' a few years ago and I agree with Meeka... RHP certainly opens the eyes, ears, senses to some pretty amazing new ideas.