M59
Vicariously Living Through Profiles = Players?
May 10 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sites like this are not real. Our profiles generally represent how we like to be perceived without any proof to back it up. Its when we follow through with the date or meet and we form genuine bonds with others, thats when its real. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I guess I agree with you OP, probably a lot of people are using sites like this to stay distant while 'playing' with others. Those are the people who always find a reason or excuse not to meet up. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree. I don't like to spend too much time behind the monitor because you just don't really know anything until you meet. I do have to say though that sometimes life gets in the way and it sounds like you are making excuses not to meet also when those reasons are genuine. I have been trying to meet with a guy and he had a family tragedy, then we rescheduled and then my boss had a car accident and I had to cover at work and then I got a cold sore then next time we were to meet. I really don't like going back on my plans, I am a woman of my word but things seem to crop up the most awkward times and make you look like a liar, especially when you know there are people that do just waste people's time.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Online you can be whatever and whoever you want to be. I have thought I "knew" forum posters after months of reading their posts, only to realise I was wrong.One very well known female poster I thought I could trust was outed a year ago or so for inventing pretty much her entire life. I prefer to meet within a few days and after a limited amount of messages, because:Quoting 'sensual_bi' Its when we follow through with the date or meet and we form genuine bonds with others, thats when its real.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It is extremely hard to get the real perception of a person or couples over the internet. But it is a start. We do get caught up in life's commitments from time to time and sometimes the dates are pushed further and further back. It's hard not to get dissapointed when the date finally arrives and they either cancel at the last minute or just not show up. So when you finally meet someone you just click with it makes it all worthwhile Ms S. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'll have to check that. Honestly, I'm on RHP because I find that,most people I'm interested in, are genuine and follow through on their promises. I don't do dating sites as I'm not after a 'romantic' relationship. I just want to have fun. I just wish more girls wanted to have 'Fun'.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
A profile and messaging...... regardless of the site its on, is merely a conduit... something to facilitate further interest... or not.... to enable me to make a decision to meet... or not. There is no point me (or anyone else) being different in the real world.... because the incongruity eventually lets slip.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do agree with all off you. I too like to meet fairly quickly after making contact to see if there is a spark.Either to see if there is a spark or just for the exercise to ask the question to see their real intention.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yeah ... I've had three women I met on "regular" dating site who said they "didn't expect to meet anyone" and pulled out of follow ups. And no, it wasn't because they did't like me (one has stayed a friend for years as it turned out...and also turned out to be married but "thinking" of leaving, and other is now a FWB). I think they go there for self validation, and a lot go for "what if I was actually looking?" Men probably do it too, and of course, there are the attached ones looking for extra curricular. No games for me. I find that sort of stuff gets my goat. In the end, being upfront is gonna work better, have the guts to say what you want, and maybe you will find it?Whatever that may be.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'SexAsReligion' Yeah ... I've had three women I met on "regular" dating site who said they "didn't expect to meet anyone" and pulled out of follow ups. And no, it wasn't because they did't like me (one has stayed a friend for years as it turned out...and also turned out to be married but "thinking" of leaving, and other is now a FWB). I think they go there for self validation, and a lot go for "what if I was actually looking?" Men probably do it too, and of course, there are the attached ones looking for extra curricular. No games for me. I find that sort of stuff gets my goat. In the end, being upfront is gonna work better, have the guts to say what you want, and maybe you will find it?Whatever that may be. Being honest and receiving a NO is sooooo much better than sugar coated BS. Who do they think they are? Willy Wonker!! lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
I cant meet at the drop of a hat, and tell people who message me this. If I am going to meet someone it has to be arranged and won't be tomorrow or even next week. Its just the situation I happen to be in right now. So, some of us are prepared to meet but dont have the freedom and spontaneity that others do. And it actually annoys me to get a message in the morning asking for a play meet in the afternoon? What? Someone I dont know, with no photos, expecting a rendezvous in some hotel room.
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' I cant meet at the drop of a hat, and tell people who message me this. If I am going to meet someone it has to be arranged and won't be tomorrow or even next week. Its just the situation I happen to be in right now. So, some of us are prepared to meet but dont have the freedom and spontaneity that others do. And it actually annoys me to get a message in the morning asking for a play meet in the afternoon? What? Someone I dont know, with no photos, expecting a rendezvous in some hotel room. i am so with you here. Sentiments exactly and quite frustrating at times. Do a lot of men expect that I just sit around in my room waiting for the afternoon booty call or i'll jump a the first invite when I have not seen their pics nor short, Neanderthal grunting communication from him was all I had. Get real and give us some credit. I have full time job and a half and have my kids half time, so that is not an option to meet spontaneously. Anyway, it takes days to get my stylist to come over and select my sexy lingerie for the occasion.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' I cant meet at the drop of a hat, and tell people who message me this. If I am going to meet someone it has to be arranged and won't be tomorrow or even next week. Its just the situation I happen to be in right now. So, some of us are prepared to meet but dont have the freedom and spontaneity that others do. And it actually annoys me to get a message in the morning asking for a play meet in the afternoon? What? Someone I dont know, with no photos, expecting a rendezvous in some hotel room. i am so with you here. Sentiments exactly and quite frustrating at times. Do a lot of men expect that I just sit around in my room waiting for the afternoon booty call or i'll jump a the first invite when I have not seen their pics nor short, Neanderthal grunting communication from him was all I had. Get real and give us some credit. I have full time job and a half and have my kids half time, so that is not an option to meet spontaneously. Anyway, it takes days to get my stylist to come over and select my sexy lingerie for the occasion. As men do forget that women need to take time to warm up to an encounter, read preen Lily, women do have to remember that men are kind of primal when it comes to a connection. I think I am a SNAG sometimes, sometimes not : Sensitive New Age Grunter Bitch be like, your coming back to my cave
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Online you can be whatever and whoever you want to be. I have thought I "knew" forum posters after months of reading their posts, only to realise I was wrong.One very well known female poster I thought I could trust was outed a year ago or so for inventing pretty much her entire life. I prefer to meet within a few days and after a limited amount of messages, because:Quoting 'sensual_bi' Its when we follow through with the date or meet and we form genuine bonds with others, thats when its real. they continue the charade, because they are either have mental health problems, as in that woman was a fantasist or they loath themselves and feel that nobody would ever want the real person. I do know why they do it, as in life they may get rejection after rejection. They may not be the attractive girl or the personable guy. Society can be cruel as hell. On here they are lifted from their life, they can express that inner self, sometimes a deluded inner self. they have been battered and bruised and set aside, yet in on RHP and especially in the forums the are special. They get their little fan club going, its very easy to get lost in the creation of the cyber god or goddess. this place blows up egos and some of us including me get delusions of grandeur. on this place like all internet places you can create your own avatar. the cost is that others get hurt, waste their time in an artificial adoration of a non existing creature. but we are all adults and we know the cost of online interaction. hiding behind a keyboard is the cowards way, but there are many cowards in the real wold and they get that way because the real world has hurt them. We saw that in the last post on fake profiles and fake pictures. It stings when your outed, and I have outed a few and not been sympathetic to their deceptions. Perhaps I am to harsh as sometimes deceptions are deception of self and I am as guilty of that as anyone. We see what we want to see
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' I cant meet at the drop of a hat, and tell people who message me this. If I am going to meet someone it has to be arranged and won't be tomorrow or even next week. Its just the situation I happen to be in right now. So, some of us are prepared to meet but dont have the freedom and spontaneity that others do. And it actually annoys me to get a message in the morning asking for a play meet in the afternoon? What? Someone I dont know, with no photos, expecting a rendezvous in some hotel room. most of us get a ten minute I am driving past your town on my way to work, can you go to the nearest truck stop so I can call in for a blow job
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RHP User
11 years ago
Agree, and I genuinely feel sorry for this woman. I think she's here now and hope she believes I bear no ill will towards her.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '. they continue the charade, because they are either have mental health problems, as in that woman was a fantasist or they loath themselves and feel that nobody would ever want the real person. I do know why they do it, as in life they may get rejection after rejection. They may not be the attractive girl or the personable guy. Society can be cruel as hell. On here they are lifted from their life, they can express that inner self, sometimes a deluded inner self. they have been battered and bruised and set aside, yet in on RHP and especially in the forums the are special. They get their little fan club going, its very easy to get lost in the creation of the cyber god or goddess. this place blows up egos and some of us including me get delusions of grandeur. on this place like all internet places you can create your own avatar. the cost is that others get hurt, waste their time in an artificial adoration of a non existing creature. but we are all adults and we know the cost of online interaction. hiding behind a keyboard is the cowards way, but there are many cowards in the real wold and they get that way because the real world has hurt them. We saw that in the last post on fake profiles and fake pictures. It stings when your outed, and I have outed a few and not been sympathetic to their deceptions. Perhaps I am to harsh as sometimes deceptions are deception of self and I am as guilty of that as anyone. We see what we want to see Very grounded statement young lady. My fav back handed compliment
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RHP User
11 years ago
but on another site,I chatted to someone for over two years.....we had very erotic. online chats and also spoke on the phone....we often had phone sex,he had an extremely sexy voice....I even chatted to him when I was on holiday in Bali....we shared details about our sexual adventures and details about our everyday lives...we also made up sexual fantasies that never eventuated ..I deleted Jim a number of times over those years but their was something nenticing about our erotic encounters that kept on drawing me back...however eventually I decided to move on and deleted him for the last time..... It took me awhile to figure out that he had no intention of ever meeting but it didn't really matter because I enjoyed our cyber space interactions.....Was his behaviour unethical?In the beginning I suppose it was,when I believed that we would actually meet,but it was my choice to continue and we both got something out of it,and it lasted two years,more than most relationships that I have had :-) xx Q .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its not all glamour and lace, I have also had the offer of a rendezvous at a local park one night, (30 minutes notice) and the ones I get really angry about....."I can sneak in later on, your kids wont hear me, I will try and stay quiet when we are at it"...., how very noble of you sir. But there are gentlemen on RHP, thank goodness
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RHP User
11 years ago
In all my time here (and other sites) I have found several women who created a persona they couldn't duplicate in real life. They were the darlings of the chat rooms, (and one of the forums, many moons ago) who, I think, started to believe all the bullshit fed to them by the guys. Unfortunately, all the exploits, all the bravado was a lie and it caused them a lot of damage. Guys wanted to meet them, but they were never 'available' or as one did, became quite rude in rejecting guys (all guys) because she knew there would be another have dozen clambering for her attention waiting in her inbox. One or two tried to carry on the charade in real life at meet and greets but were soon found out as being nothing like they portrayed themselves to be. It was sad, they, I am sure were lovely women but they blurred the line between fantasy and reality and couldn't remember who they were. Oh just to clarify, I am sure there are men out there who fit the about scenario perfectly two, the failure to differentiate between real life and make believe is not gender specific. Mooka
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N4November
11 years ago
In my real life, the responsibility of being a single parent and by virtue of my job made exploring my sexuality and the very essence of who I am was near impossible. I came to RHP with no expectations and I think I was cynical and intelligent enough to vet through the throngs of men. 95% of my experiences have been amazing and I believe were genuine and authentic. Like attracts like I think. Yes, my boobs and attitude are my best assets. I am an honest person but the bullshit radar is never off. I can admit that the attention was overwhelming but having stifled my femininity because of the job I did, it was wonderful being drowned in it. I do struggle constantly with doubt and what I perceive makes a woman beautiful. And sexy. And RHP often makes me challenge my own negative thinking so being here online helps me balance that. RHP is only a conduit to the real world and many people forget that. What success you get in the real world can't be determined from being on a sex site, dating site or from a church social surely?! By the way, please tell me the profile you are referring to girls!!!! I love a bit of gos ;-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Can't do I'm afraid, and to just to clarify, we're not vilifying this woman. I was warned about this before (a long time ago) and it's really not the purpose of my posts, nor those of Tuscan.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I recently received some "backstory" about a notorious someone here, given to me by someone I'd only just started communicating with... I don't mind a bit of goss... I'm quite interested in what makes people tick... But bitchiness is not my thing. Now, I'm not sure about the person who provided the information to me... Were they genuinely trying to put someone into perspective... Or are they a muckraker ? Or are they trying to play me... Or have they succeeded...? 👀 Either way I haven't responded to her... Hp, feeling confused... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
But this is a cautionary tale....at least three men that I know of were caught up' in her delusions....one had a protection order put in place against him.....one had a relationship fall apart because she continually messaged the woman involved telling her that she and the man were lovers....she messaged me to that effect too....in fact they had never met.....another man she claimed to have met through their work and that they were in love....they had never met either......her delusions were not harmless and affected many......so while yes we are all adults,we do need to he a little guarded,just as we do in real life because the worlds do cross over and sometimes even collide xx Q
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RHP User
11 years ago
Of late, I have heard some extraordinary stories about serious con men.Duping people in the highest echelons. And getting away with it for years. These people are not (superficially) sleazy bastards, but suave, deep, bright, convincing, personable, and believable. And, of course, such are sociopaths. And, of course, they will be on websites, as elsewhere in society. Sadly, my last long term relationship turned out to be such as person too (albeit not quite as extreme).So many good things to offer, but her Achilles Heel killed it. It can be very damaging. So these days, I am totally torn between wanting to have a full-on relationshipbut then retreating to a protective position of not wanting to be hurt like that again, and being distrustful.What's a boy/girl to do?? Its a bugger, really. So superficially, the OP is more light-hearted, but it may hide something much darker. Caveat Emptor.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I always enjoy the message banter, it's my window to the persons personality...................I have always been clear if I don't want things to go further...... Yes some do taper of, that I always think of being part of it............. As to meeting, as most of us have mentioned we have work, children, families and commitments, we only hope we can meet up quickly lol....... We had a wonderful experience the other day, where I have been chatting with the guy half of the couple for nearly 6 months, we finally got a chance to meet up at a private party and we had a blast, because of our 'chats' we had a basis to go of and it made it so we were comfortable with each other.
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RHP User
11 years ago
We are all at risk in life or running into that wrong person, the internet is just a catalyst for either deception or for meeting great people. Sometimes you get good stuff, sometimes bad stuff. sometimes you see it coming other times you don't. It took me ten seconds to know that woman was not a doctor, but I liked her and thought give her time she will trust me enough and be truthful. I mean really what doctor turns up at your house homeless, and with no money to get her stuff from the house she just got booted out of? all I knew that she was a complex, smart women with clearly some issues. But others especially men got hurt, badly by her. I am skilled regarding mental health issues and social issues to not get sucked in, but I am not bullet proof.what I do have is security in my relationships, my financial situation and that I am safe and loved. sometimes if your not so contented with your lot , then you can put blinkers on and not notice the flashing lights, or other times the manipulator is just to smart for you. The internet crime rate is through the roof and the smartest of us are still getting caught so it just pays to take it all with a grain of salt and most important to take it nice and slow, especially if your bring your heart and emotions into the mix. you can get very damaged by an emotional STD that is hard to cure. and to the bullshit people who throw around words like I love you, cant wait to see you again, your the special one. then think about the consequences of your actions. I have just seen that with a woman off here where a grown man dumped shit all over her and did not have the guts to just call and say sorry, I got a bit carried away and I don't want to see you or what ever. no shit, this 42 year old man just has cut her off, no return of calls no nothing bloody gutless is all I can say. balls like a pair of currents.
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N4November
11 years ago
Yes, it's all clicked now that a few clues were forthcoming. But how quickly one forgets.......
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'baygirl2315' Yes, it's all clicked now that a few clues were forthcoming. But how quickly one forgets....... You were going to get packed in a suitcase and come with a couple over this way sometime.Is that still happening.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear lady, I wish you much happiness and light, but I don't think you'll find it here. The comments about what happened will never be what you are hoping for and will only bring you down. Take care x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't waste your breath/key strokes. The people in the forums are harsh judges of what's right and wrong in the forums. Though to be sure, I'm thinking of many, many examples from my time in the forums where the people poking fingers forget the different standards the set for their friends. . I mean, it's the most ridiculous thing that as long as we don't mention you by name, we run your reputation through the muck to our heart's content. . Be assured, we don't think all the same, but we might still not be thinking the way you would like. lol. You might not have noticed that Lilmiss_fussy posted on the 'are fake pics ever okay' thread about you recently. . I'm sorry I never got to meet you, I would have liked a chance to form my own opinion of you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your a nice woman and trust me on this one. You would not like what you see. I liked this woman. But not what Se He does to people. More important is what she did to herself. She needs some serious help. You know me I am open and will give people a fair go.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's for sure, and I thank you for it. You are someone special in my life and that will always be the way it is. :-D . It is not your judgement I question, but more the lack of me having able to make one from my own experiences. . I'm always the one looking for the singular experience, only because I have experienced so many, the world is such a wonder. Saying that, I would absolutely take every care because I know how swiftly wonder can turn to horror. . XXX
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Circe
11 years ago
"sometimes if your not so contented with your lot , then you can put blinkers on and not notice the flashing lights, or other times the manipulator is just to smart for you." you can get very damaged by an emotional STD that is hard to cure. "and to the bullshit people who throw around words like I love you, cant wait to see you again, your the special one. then think about the consequences of your actions." It's so true!! It is very hard if you're trusting (stupid), and vulnerable (idiot ) to get sucked in by someone who tells you and seems to behave like they've fallen for you. I, for one, wanted to believe it so much that I ignored many red lights and got very hurt. He was just living out some persona that made him feel like a big man - forgetting that I was, am, an actual living and breathing person with feelings. Not his plaything.
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ruby_blossum
11 years ago
Right now she is stalking once again. A repeat visit to a much loved ex-forumite, her crazy antics havent stopped at breaking up relationships andbeing one of the main reasons men & women have left this site. She has now, right now, taken to stalking him on another site. It could be funny if it wasnt so pathetic. Little does she realise that this man has a lot of friends who are no doubt, letting a hell of a lot of people know she is up to her old tricks again - still. I find it very difficult to be wishing her happiness and light when all she does is bring darkness and disturbances to nice, genuine peoples lives.
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