RHP

RHP User

F67

Welcome to the forums....but are there pitfalls ?

February 06 2013

I realised today that it is almost a year since I started posting.I have come and gone and seen many go and sometimes return.What do you see as some of the pitfalls?Some people have said that this is a very clicky community,others have said that we are all far too judgemental.Then again some people have built relationships with forum peeps in the so called real world.But this is also part of the real world.Do you judge a person by their posts ,have you ever changed your opinion about someone over time? Those of us who are confirmed forum tragics often reveal a lot about our lives,our hopes and dreams and our sexual proclivities. What do you think new posters need to be cautious about?Have you had a bad experience here and come back to post another day?

Comments

  • flimac

    flimac

    12 years ago

    Pissing off at least one person a week, and the forums allow me to do that too lol - although never intentionally But I really like the forum, in fact I was going to get rid of my profile as I've pretty much given up on Rhp for meeting even half decent men (I use a different site as well) BUT I couldn't go without the forum!!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There are so many lovely, wise and hilariously funny people on here. There are also some really fabulous writers - witty and very clever. I'm a relative newbie and I've never experienced any pitfalls, but i've seen a few wipe outs. They're not pretty but they're not my issue and i just move on (and flash my boobies from time to time. It seems to distract people!) My only advice to new posters would be to sit back and read the threads. Get a feel for the environment first and then simply introduce yourself when you have something to contribute. No different to a meet and greet in real life I guess. Also, proof read!!! And don't post after a bottle of wine (I wish I'd practice what I preach!!!)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    that I wished I had chopped of my finger tips there are times when I laugh till I just about bust   sometimes there is a love hate with some posters, just when you think what a frigging idiot they write the most amazing things   I am friend and then foe depending on the topic and the day   best thing I can add is cool off after you get heated, take a break and clear your head   we all can fire up at times, and were not always right   people are people are people the forums have allowed me to meet a bunch of them offlne and they all seem pretty normal to me, except for I see them having sex and naked on the odd occasion   well for a rhp person that is NORMAL

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Some people will deal with it better than others but in a lot of cases, they leave and reduce the numbers of individual opinions. The forums are a graveyard of first time posters of threads who never return and delete their profile as they go. There is an advanced forum search tab top right of the Search Forum Tags window, this will allow you to search for posts, topics and replies by title or username!!!Check that you are logged in before you post or take the chance of losing the whole thing. Either that or save a copy in your templates.Don't believe the advertisingBe wary of using words like cougar, bbw, or anything else that could offend anyone unless you are prepared to go down fightingBear in mind that people have different sets of moralityTake into account that people will misread and or read into things that aren't thereFully engage sense of humour/ the absurdMake friendsSome topics have a high potential for going off the rails like cheating for eg, Don't expect everyone to agree with you!Do expect strong arguments if anyone disagrees with youDo expect there is a strong support base for those who have been here longer as they are better known... build up yours!Show respect Have a pinch of salt and a teaspoon of sugar at standbyFlirting in the forums will not necessarily turn into fcuking in the bedroomMake lots of friendsAttend meet n greets that are advertised on the events pageJust cos you don't like what they have to say doesn't make them unlikeableDon't expect much of anything, you won't be disappointedMake more friendsLaugh!!!a lot!!!Hugs

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Some offer great advice, some antagonize, some offer humor. I think take what you need-disregard the rest!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    SuperFox

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I need to garner trust tho. Ill lurk before offering. But then Ill ne very obvious. Its a weird world the Forums Freya.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Freya13 I did miss you and your posts and of course some others around here... I have been to several forums but totaly different from this one and to all and to this one I come and go often...You know life happens...sometimes I have fun to read and post and some other times to read is such a pain. On the other side there are times where threads are so similar that there is no point to repeat your answer... It always depends the mood and how life goes.....And of course the word forum demands argues and fights and above all discussion and respect to every other poster. Sometimes this does not go well and there comes the pitfall or goes so well and we all are happy and wiser than before :)..... So are we going to cheeky or what ??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There's a statistical phenomeon called the wisdom of crowds. I'm not a statistician but as I understand it, studies show that the median of the collective judgment of a group is usually more accurate or reliable than the judgment of any one individual, even if the individual is an expert. The larger the group, the more accurate the median.   I like that about the forums, the way everyone throws their opinions into the pot and we all come out a little wiser and richer for the experience, and often more closely aligned in our collective thinking (not an exact wisdom of crowds example, but much the same in spirit).   The problem with the wisdom of crowds is that even the slightest bit of social pressure influences the views of the group. When group members learn about the opinions of others, they're more likely to adjust their own to be more aligned - peer pressure in action.   I don't like that about the forums. I don't like the cliquey-ness, the public hazing of people, childish spats and the occasional bullying. On the upside I'm often amused by the rampant egos - most entertaining!   Tip for new posters ... conflict is often best resolved in private :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My first thread was, sob, about Movember and, hic, you made fun of meeeee, SOB.       But I manned up and got back on that horse. I didn't need my man licence revoked and so I hardened the f@#$ up!!     Love your work Freya. xx

  • Paradisepair

    Paradisepair

    12 years ago

    But I am very wary of how much information I disclose here. I'd hate to be recognised, as many here have revealed has happened to them, and have detailed info about my sexual preferences out there. Shame really, so much juicy stuff I could be sharing...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Never mind     So yes like you Freya - Ive come, gone, come back, gone and come back again - think I counted that rite (told you this place is Hotel California !!)   Are we clickey ?...no I dont believe so but yes quite a few of us know each other off site or alternatively develop strong online relationships...........or we have just bloodywell hung around here too long !!!   Judgemental -? I always find that word interesting... - especially when people say they aren' t - what ?? of course you are..we are all making judgements on everything and everone all the time....can you be too judgemental ????? can you too much of anything ???? - it all depends on perceptions !!!   Ive formed some fantastic friendships thru the forums especially with people over East - close friendships and I am blessed to have met quite a few people from the forums and via the forums..so for me the forums have extremely beneficial - I have no family in Australia and some of these people have become besties, and brother/sisters to me....void to help fil the continual loneliness of being a expat.....what heartens me as Im now a guest but quite a few people (from the forums) just drop me a line every so often just to see how Im doing ..which always gives me a nice warm fuzz tingley feeling :) - thanks (and you know who you are)   and every so often Ive met someone..as they have contacted me because they have read something Ive posted that has reasonated with them...........but its been rare.............do people actually meet from here ???   Have I judged people by their posts ? - yes I have...have I changed my opinion over time about someone ?- yes most definitely........................   Ive hav emost definitely shared my hopes, my experiences, my dreams, my life via the forums...and little bit of my sexual prolivities (when Ive had some :)..)   My advice to newbies...well please post....god yes..we were all newbies once and the more people that post the more diversity and interesting the forums are...dont be cautious, just be yourself.................and treat everyone on line as you would offline......with respect...     Yes Ive had a bad experience here...someone/some people hurt me quite badly, ........................and I was mystifeid as to why...............but life goes on...and at the end of the day its my choice whether to read and or post or alternatively switch off the laptop and walk away...yes there is a life offline ..sure is :)       Still here :)............   .............oh I even hope that one day I amy met someone to have awesome ongoing sex with !!!!         Now wheres that little rolling around , pissing himself laughing emoticon when you need him ???????

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Sometimes the people that appear as sweet as pie are vipers in disguise. :) I am coming up to three years.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    But I totally agree, it's a viper's nest no? People are not what they seem sometimes and further... Present something that they are not! Just to obscure!! Lol!! Be afraid, very afraid!! Hehe. Though I love all of Freya's posts. Inspiring and witty always, while still managing to get to the heart of the issue. I love your obscurity sometimes Freya, and 'get' it. Hope to be as fabulously understatedly sexy in the next few years as you are.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Peachy ,I hope new forum posters get to read it. It is such a heady feeling when you first stumble in here and it takes time, like in any other community to find a place. As Shinas said,it is also a great way to connect with like minded people.I caught up with an RHP friend yesterday and it is certainly refreshing to be able to chat about all things sexual without scaring the horses.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I believe topics like this should come up quiet frequently for newbies... It gives them some inside what to expect. I have meet some really wonderful people through the forums and yet no doubt to meet many more!!! I've also received some awesome emails from people saying they enjoy reading what I post.. Ms Peachy your post was very informative... :-) Yes its tragic there are some that post nasty little comments on threads here and there...for me being a newbie I ignore and look at what other people bring. Overall its a great place. I have been educated in more ways than one.. I an enjoying the Forums and have felt really welcomed. :-) SuperFox - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    that was an eponymous post...thank you x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    and like 'flimac' i've come close to giving up on RHP but i really enjoy the forums. I think its a great way to get a 'vibe' of a person, the way they think and feel on different subjects and their general outlook on life. Of course i've formed opinions on people (its human nature right?) ........ and also come to change my mind..... Oh and the stuff i've learnt??? I thought at my age i'd have my shit together but... well my eyes have been opened on many a topic! lol On the whole they make me laugh and sometimes get right up my nose and my first urge is to pound away on the keyboard - which has gotten me to trouble! One great think i have learnt is to stop and think before i commit to the written word... and I gotta say that has transposed into RL - something my colleagues are thrilled with - i cant help the italian temper!!!! lol I've made several friends via the forums - and one i cant wait to meet in a couple of months (Ms USA!)... its the beauty of the forums.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The forums would not be the same without you, always something informative, insightful or calming to add to any discussion. You certainly are a breath of fresh air... do your feathers ever get ruffled? One classy broad.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Good Luck!!Pitfalls of the forums ...it involves PEOPLE posting, this is also the up side.Sensitive topics?! more like sensitive people that don't know how to communicate. I like everyone, until they play the wanker card ...then's it's Mr S

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    you are rockin' that gorgeous corset,I am trying to colour match my post.Thank you for your kind words.My feathers don't often get ruffled here ,I think the spelling nasties probably affected me more than anything else .I am not a perfect speller myself and make the occasional mistake but most people here seem to be far more tolerant ,at the moment anyway. I think if anyone cares to spend anytime here,there are soooo many different aspects to the experience,A multi layered educational social networking site ,perhaps the forums should be mandatory reading for anyone over eighteen.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Although truth be told that pic was about 8 months ago, and I am rocking a little extra padding after a gluttonous xmas. I'd probably need a chamber maid to help squeeze me into it now, but in the scheme of things pffft...   From your posts you come across as someone who has the natural gift of tact and diplomacy, two things I have to really focus on when I need them. A wonderful gift to have, and yes, this is certainly an education, sooo many things I have learnt on here, some which I probably could have lived without and others I can't believe I have until now. Heres to another year or more of entertaining and mind boggling posts. Cheers.

  • xFunlovingx

    xFunlovingx

    12 years ago

    I was at the RHP Launch party and I can't believe it has been 10 years! My how time flies... . I am sitting here giggling as I have just come from a Cock Thread over in Guys Ask and you girls gave this newbie a hard time! It was his first ever interaction on the Forums but you all just couldn't help yourself! So please save your "I'm all for the Newbies" placcards as we are not buying them here! My advice to the "oldies" would be to have more respect for the newbies and as it has been said on here time and time again by RHP Admin...If you don't like the topic stay away and keep in mind that people are new on here and don't know how to do searches and neither do they know that a topic has been done over and over! Funny how alot of you on this Thread love to point the finger at others....maybe a bit of mirror checking is in order! xFunlovingx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ... just wanted to say how much I loved your post and how it reflects my thoughts :-) So wish I could "reply with quote" - just doesn't work on my phone. KK xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    xfunloving?i just went through that whole thread again and there was absoluely nothing negative directed to the OP as far as I could see.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ... my mirror was working fine :-(

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'ScratchyandItchy' I like everyone, until they play the wanker card ... Me too! I really appreciate posters who play a straight game in here - they are who they are, they're consistently that way and they don't change just to impress/be popular/get attention etc. That just shits me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'keepingkarma'... just wanted to say how much I loved your post and how it reflects my thoughts :-) So wish I could "reply with quote" - just doesn't work on my phone. KK xx I thought it was a tad wanky to be honest, but that kind of stuff does fascinate me - the science AND the hilarity of human behaviour ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I know what you mean, it's the fact that people make jokes at the OP's expense really. I do it too I guess, but often people will just do it and not even bother to answer the person's question. That has really annoyed me too in the past, apparently I have even been known to tell people to say on topic - as I have been recently accused. Who would have thought it??? LMAO I can't remember doing that however two people have told me different. All I know is that people that point fingers then indulge in the same type of behaviours annoys me too.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    KK it's a shame when people try to deceive others isn't it? I know I am not amused.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ... when the forums are fun op, and when they're not I look at paintme's boobies ;-) KK xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Sounds like ping pong.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ... lay ya balls on the table so I can pong 'em! Lol KK xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Messolonghi' pok, pok, pok pok...pok, pok... pok pok pok... pok......... pok Chooks! With perhaps a few foxes in the hen house?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have left once for a month or so. Gave myself a much needed break. It is easy enough to spot those that have been a regular contributor, left and come back as we each have a unique style. I dont back down easily and if you want to argue a point with me then please use logic and cold hard facts as you can be sure I will find some to support my side. Emotion just wont cut it. Sometimes I like to be a troll but more often than not I just dont tolerate too much B/S One common forum mistake is trying to con others into believing some outrageous crap as we are not all stoooopid. I have noticed that a lot of the fun has actually gone out of the forums lately and there are times when I dont even bother to log on for days. People are getting offended far too easily now and many many topics just get closed for next to nothing. If you dont like playing in the sandpit...take your bat and ball and eff off home instead of whinging and closing down threads that others may be enjoying. With the exception of ones that turn really ugly......and they can! The best advice for newbies? Take it all with a pinch of salt and DO NOT ASK FOR ADVICE IF YOU CAN NOT HANDLE THE ADVICE YOU ARE GIVEN!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    We've just recently returned to RHP and I'd have to say that I've become a bit of a forum addict. Funny thing is that we haven't had much action (messages or flirts, maybe because we couldn't be bothered with paying for a membership ) through our profile of late so I feel as though I'm just here for the forums this time around LOL. The only pitfall so far about the forums is the amount of time I can sink into reading them. I love reading all the different perspectives and topics out there. I've even learned some things.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think we need to be cautious about who we trust on so many levels.Yes it is a very cliquey community which at times reminds me of a school ground crossed with a game of survivor.Yes people are not only judgemental but also hypocritical with it.I have built a few relationships with women on a friend level in the 'real' world, some of those have lasted better than others. I'm not an easy person to know, so appreciate all the more those lasting relationships that I have found to be good for me being with people who have persisited to get the chance to know the deeper me. I'm told it's rewarding for both sides.I'm always curious about what posts show of the person behind the profile but so many are not as they appear as I get to know their posts over a period of time. Some are worse than I expected LOL, some are better. It is usually the individuals I end up having the most respect for. Some are just totally full of shit and really all about no' 1. Some change day to day, moment to moment. Some are loonies. Some are a little bit of all sorts and like licorice, too much will give you the runs. Yes I've been known to change my opinion. Some though, I never trusted and they have confirmed that with their behaviours over time. Too many have helped me understand why the world is such a mess. I think new posters need to be cautious that they will be given a fair break, expect trial by fire upon entry. I've had many bad experiences, I've been an arsehole at times too. I'd like to think the good experiences giving and taking have outweighed the bad.