M39

What Women Want?

May 18 2011

Remember the lame 2000 film with Mel Gibson where he thought he could read women and then had a random accident and could all of a sudden intrinsically hear ever female’s self talk? Yeah, I know it wasn’t one of Mel’s finest moments and a far cry away from William Wallace; however, it provided an interesting point and an enviable situation for any guy on RHP. Imagine if you will, that reading the 4-5 paragraphs in a girl/couples profile, told you everything you needed to know to be charming, suave & engaging that they would feel compelled to reply – let alone even begin to discuss the possibility of taking things further. It’s a position that every guy find himself in day in, day out as we battle against the larger ratio of other men on here to stand out from the crowd. I found myself doing just this during my daily scan and search of some of the amazing ladies you find on RHP. I’m not that picky but I will normally only message a girl if I think I am a chance to connect to her profile. Nothing turns me on more than a girl I can relate to mentally, as well as physically. So there I am, studying some profiles; I’ll deliberately pick out those that aren’t the templated “I’m quiet but watch out...I consider myself attractive but I’ll leave that to you decide...blah blah blah (I can’t be bothered actually expressing myself” or, you can sometimes tell they are fake profiles. I’ll try to find something that I can write to her about to result in the raise of an eyebrow, or maybe a little smirk at one of my cheeky comments; all in all it’s quite a thorough process! So I picked my candidates going through the rather limited, but still effective - Male checklist (yes girls, even men have checklists): · She’s CUTE – check. · She’s writes well and sounds like she can hold a conversation, so she’s SMART – check · She’s in my age range – check I say to myself, these are the girls I can definitely write an interesting and creative message to. I’ll start by NEVER opening with a lame ‘Hey’ in the subject line! Till this day, I still believe if you want to stand out, you need a point of difference. By difference, I don’t mean a different angle photo of my cock or bragging about how big it is in feet, rather than inches...I mean a REAL point of difference, something that will actually connect with a girl. It may sound like I’m in the wrong place for what I’m looking for, believe me, nothing could be further from the truth; but I still think it’s important that you get along with one another if anything were to ever eventuate further. As one of my favourite girls on here states in her profile “we all know what we are on here for, but a little bit of class wouldn’t go astray” <<< never a truer word spoken. I went through this messaging process and came away with 5 different girls I messaged over the period of about 2-3 days. It might not sound like a lot, but as I explained earlier, it’s a very thorough process and I came away from my laptop thinking “I’m a real chance to get a few replies here”. So then became the waiting game...Checking my profile views...checking my inbox...had they read my message yet? ...There is no other feeling like it for a guy (and some girls for that matter), putting yourself out there, open to criticism from complete strangers, not knowing whether you will get an interested candidate...or whether you will never hear back from them again. For me, this time it was the latter. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I’ve had a little bit of success on here so I wasn’t to the point that I got myself ‘down in the dumps’ about it, it was more of a case of questioning the best way to go about it on RHP. Surely there must be some guys doing it correctly on here – or there would be no need for a site like this. So what is it? What is the secret? What do women want to hear when a guy first messages them? How do you suggest we stand out? Trust me, I asked myself all of these questions (and more) and to be honest, I thought I had the answer...evidently, it’s not the case. So here I am, putting myself out there to as much criticism as you like - be constructive about it – but I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts (both male and female) on what they think about the best way to approach someone on here is. Is there a one size fits all method to messaging or introducing yourself in chat? Does it really just depend on how the recipient is feeling at the time? Is it a luck game? Does no reply, mean don’t try again...ever? These are all very broad and open ended questions but I’m positive I’m not the only one out there that wants to know the answers – or at least hear other people’s thoughts on it. Got another question you want answered? – Post it in this thread to see what people have to say. And to the lovely ladies that didn’t message me back, please don’t take this as a plight on yourselves, I completely accept your decision to think my message didn’t warrant a reply and by no means did I mean to target this at any of you.

Comments

RHP User

14 years ago

You hit the Nail on the Head with your question...Does it really just depend on how the recipient is feeling at the time?Well yes i think it dose....Text based communication leaves alot to be desired at times and i personally think that We dont see things AS THEY ARE...We see things AS WE ARENudie

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RHP User

14 years ago

Hey Chivalry, To answer your question "Does it really just depend on how the recipient is feeling at the time?" Unfortunately I agree with Nudie and I say yes, often it does depend on how the recipient feels at the time. Also depends if my mind is on someone else...... you have to be pretty good to capture my attention when I am in lust with someone else but not impossible. :P If you get no reply I would try one more time if you are really keen on the girl, but twice would be the limit I think. Always check the history first. I am sure you wouldn't do it but there are guys out there who send the same message every other month or so. Or sometimes send you a message of introduction even though you have exchanged messages with them in the past.Otherwise, yes it is a numbers game. xxMeeka

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RHP User

14 years ago

hmmm, remember that old chestnut about the guy whose entire technique was to shamelessly ask "wanna fuck?" to every girl he saw, with a 99% knockback rate, but still got laid more than the rest of us? Of course, this really, really annoys that 99% of women: see just about every thread in the Girls Ask section. Oh well, if we could ever get it right in any way, we wouldn't be male.But.... I wonder how a site like this would work if guys just couldn't message at all, unless contacted first by a woman who liked their profile? though of course the women would have to write that angsty first-contact message... ahh, I chuckle quietly to myself everytime I think about it...

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'Schroedinger'hmmm, remember that old chestnut about the guy whose entire technique was to shamelessly ask "wanna fuck?" to every girl he saw, with a 99% knockback rate, but still got laid more than the rest of us? Of course, this really, really annoys that 99% of women: see just about every thread in the Girls Ask section. Oh well, if we could ever get it right in any way, we wouldn't be male. But.... I wonder how a site like this would work if guys just couldn't message at all, unless contacted first by a woman who liked their profile? though of course the women would have to write that angsty first-contact message... ahh, I chuckle quietly to myself everytime I think about it... I'll introduce myself later but just wanted to let you know that everytime I wander past your profile I just want to tuck my naked body in behind that pic of yours, my nipples touching your skin, my hands sliding around to the front of your hips, stand on tippy toes and whisper ," Hi" right in your ear "My name is......" would that do in the angsty first contact messages? . Yes it was just an example, but it lets you know that your pic has done it's job in making someone want to touch you, and it's specifically for you (re: pertaining to the way you're standing) and not just a template one I would send out to all the guys. It's then, that I would mention the things in your profile or possibly ask more questions if I was interested. I still admit it's very hard for you guys on here xx

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RHP User

14 years ago

It does finally come down to how we feel n the day. Yes. I know I always reply back though, often in the negative but that also depends on the day and the mood and what I am feeling. I approach men on here as well and I do use one line messages just to test the waters. Sometimes I reply with only one word. If it continues, the sentences get longer.

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'dontgothere' I'll introduce myself later but just wanted to let you know that everytime I wander past your profile I just want to tuck my naked body in behind that pic of yours, my nipples touching your skin, my hands sliding around to the front of your hips, stand on tippy toes and whisper ," Hi" right in your ear "My name is......" would that do in the angsty first contact messages? . Yes it was just an example, but it lets you know that your pic has done it's job in making someone want to touch you, and it's specifically for you (re: pertaining to the way you're standing) and not just a template one I would send out to all the guys. It's then, that I would mention the things in your profile or possibly ask more questions if I was interested. I still admit it's very hard for you guys on here xxHey DGT, not bad, think I'll make it my new template I spam out to all the girls...But I know you know I know how it it is here... dare I say the actual point of this scenario was a subtle suggestion that the girls could maybe be a little more pro-active in all this? or if not, you can't really complain that you only ever hear from dickheads... (and to the women that have been proactive, it's really appreciated - hope you stay in touch x).Meanwhile, I'm impressed with the number of women (in the forums at least) that do make an effort to reply to all well intentioned contacts.

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RHP User

14 years ago

Well I could have gone the whole hog and told you about the finger running along your sexy bum crack, but thought I should save something for the second date But you are very right, it should be a two way street. I wonder what would actually happen if us girls had to do all the contacting

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RHP User

14 years ago

Thanks for the replies guys...So what I've taken out of this is:1. I need to somehow make sure that the girl im messaging, is in somewhat of a good mood and hope she hasn't got another guy on her mind, and 2. I need to take a naked photo of my arse to get a girls attention!! hahaSome good points raised though, what would happen if it were up to the girl to approach guys, how would u word ur profile?? would u use ur own pics?? could be an interesting point of difference to other dating sites, won't hold my breath for it to happen. haha

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RHP User

14 years ago

By your OP you seem to be doing everything right the only suggestion I would have is about your profile - give us something to work with about who you are instead of the been there done that spiel thats currently there - it really doesnt inspire me to think you are going to make me feel special more that I am just going to be another number for you. . Kisses Focus

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RHP User

14 years ago

well, as i am part of a couple, i do realize that i am a slightly different position to a single girl...lol still, i believe, as it has been so rightly pointed out on here before, that we girls (most of us, anyway) like to feel a little special... if i recieve a message with the lines: hey, you wanna catch up"...well, that will give me the impression that this looser hasn't even bothered to read my profile...which in hand would also mean, that he doesn't care too much, about who he's playing with, if he doesn't even have the interest to find out a little about the people, he is aproaching for sex...:( i (we) also find having some mental connection quite important....so when someone writes you a message, that suggest they have actually read your profile, and what you are looking for...and they feel they can relate to that...and that shows in their text...well, that is a good start, i think...:) i would personaly also point out the importance of good grammar...lol when somebody can't be bothered, to spell out a word properly, writing most of his message in text talk...well, it makes one wonder, that if they are too lazy to write properly...how much effort will they be putting into pleasing you?....hmmm... i believe, that if you want to be treated as somebody special..(i.e. stand out from the rest of the guys)...you will have to show, that you are willing to put a little effort into making the other person feel special, too...and not just the next in line.... of course this is only my humble opinion...

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RHP User

14 years ago

having read my own post, i have realized, that i have made a few spelling errors myself. i admit, that's quite ironic, given that i was going on about the importance of grammar and spelling....lol on my defence, english is my second language. so if you take that into consideration, i think i didn't do too bad, though.... what i meant was not a few spelling errors here and there....that happens to all of us...but when you get a whole message written in text talk....ahhhh...that truly does my head in.....

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RHP User

14 years ago

perhaps make afew changes/tweeks as suggested of you think it will enhance your profile, but in reality everyone here is so different in what they like, what they expect, and of course these change with moods... it would be impossible to tick all the boxes for everyone... I think sometimes it just comes down to being the right person at the right time.... just be yourself, and the people that get what you are putting out there will pick that up :)

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