What are your rules?

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Rules are just simply not set down. After 17 years of swinging as a couple, we still find new rules. Set up your own set rules, and then take it from there. There are 2 things that should be priority though. 1. Whatever is not a yes. Whatever is NO...If one of you say whatever to a question of doing something...it should be taken as NO. It is simply Yes or NO..or not at all. 2, Whenever your tummy or heart tells you you are not comfortable or something is not right, ( even if you said yes to start, STOP) THe whole experience about swinging is about YOU as a couple and No one else. If at any time you or your partner get that niggle in the tummy, STOP . No need for explainations , it was just simply not right anymore..for you or your partner. Have little signs for each other.... After all these years we still find new rules.. Dont expect it to be so cut and dry, allow the communication always, after all that is what it is all about. Communication and YOU both as a couple! Bryan and Leesa

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Ok, well you could write a book on this subject. Disclaimer* this is only our opinion based on our experiences! And this is based on you both being newbies. 1/ make sure this is something you both want, and can handle, this could be the quickest way to see you in the divorce courts. Unfortunately you can't be sure either of you will handle it till you jump into the fire. The 1st time is something of a leap of faith. It is the only hard and fast rule! Everything else is purely guidance. 2/ Try and pick experienced couples at 1st, be honest with your prospective play partners, if you don't you may find yourself in over your head, decent couples will "puppy walk" you both if they know you havn't swung before. Remember every experienced swinging couple was once a newby to. 3/ Be prepared to play at 1st meet, after all, it is why we are here, well those of us that are genuine! And tonight is as good a night as any! If you go to meet with a half hearted attitude it most likely won't happen, take your sense of adventure and humour, BUT be prepared to just have a good social night out as well, if the sexual tension doesn't happen so what! 4/ Don't be to picky, remember you already have your significant other, normal dating rules don't apply here, this is only about fun sex. As long as there is sexual tension and you are all pretty much on the same page go for it! 5/ Forget the friends 1st play later scenarios, see point 4 . If a friendship is going to happen it will still happen after sex, and on a much deeper basis because you already have a history! 6/ Be mindfull of everyones vibe, look for the cues to know whether to go to the next step. This tends to happen in all sorts of ways, some couples use code words between each other, but we have been together long enough to know the look between us, whether its game on or not, but everything from flirtive looks, her/his hand in your crotch, to the dancefloor, even negotiated in the mens room at the trough, and once the girls had already gotten it on in ladies at the club before us guys even knew anything was going on! As we found out later. So the evening has progressed well, and the end game is in sight. 1/ Be prepared that you may be the one to have to start the ball rolling, Don't just sit there looking around, hoping someone will do something! Again experienced couples will usually lead the way here, but just in case.... 2/ Don't drink to much ...this can be disasterous!.........been there done that, and definetly didnt get a medal for it, seen other guys do it as well...! 3/ If the girls go 1st , let them have girl time, leave them to it, and play it by ear your turn will come, patience young skywalker. 4/ Don't be a selfish lover, make sure everyone is involved, and having the best time possible, but remember sometimes someone will just want to watch for a while or have a spell. In summary, get rule 1 well and truly sorted, other than that go on the journey take a sense of adventure, but always be aware of the vibe and use your best judgment. Cheers Nev & Kerrie

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Our rules are fairly simple, but have served us well. Firstly, we never meet without seeing photos and speaking to BOTH parties on the phone. We meet for a drink, but never more than one or two drinks If the chemistry is there we will play, but always on neutral ground for at first a couple of meetings We always play together and only when we are both interested. Hope that helps

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Fantastic reply to this post. Looks like you covered all bases. Especially love point 4 and 5. Cheers XX

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  VeryClassy

  16 years ago

  We started with rules about 10 years ago but my lovely wife kept breaking them.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Thanks everyone for all your advice.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  1.) Couples that play together - stay together. 2.) No one takes one for the team. 3.) When it isnt totally and utterly enjoyable for the 2 of you - get out of there. 4.) Keep a close eye on each other whilst playing to make sure everyone is having a good time. 5.) Talk about the whole experience afterwards, to make sure it was as much fun for your partner as you (see point 2) 6.) Never judge a book (another couple) by the cover. Some of the greatest people in the world are Swingers, and you might overlook them due to poor photos on RHP. :)

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