RHP

RHP User

M55

What do YOU do when....

June 27 2013

Sorry about the clump this will post as, my iPad hates me. I had a thought this morning, just a random one, not necessarily linked to anything going on at the moment. More inspired by a recent thread about endings. What do YOU do when someone you had some feeling for suddnely disappeared into the sunset?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    develop 'feelings' for someone. *skips off to chase her sunsets*

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I just ride those stages into the sunset...sometimes I cry alone and other times I don't. Sometimes I just want to be left alone to process my own feelings to actually feel them... It's ok to grief as everyone does it in their own way...some people cope and deal with it differently. Sometimes it may take me a day or two or months depending on my relationship with that individual person. One thing I don't do is run into the arms of another or have sex with, to me that's unhealthy. I know people who do that...To me it does not fix ones grieving process. FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    If we were no more than FWB's i assume they had their reasons, give it a small amount of my mindspace...and then move on.   If i loved them ........I gather my Girlfriends in close, I cry, we drink and I talk and cry and talk and cry.   Then i pick myself up and get on with it.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    You can either...... Race the sun Or Await the coming sunrise. The sun only allows you to bask in its warm glow for as long as it is around. You can welcome its warmth and encourage it to linger in your presence. Chasing it doesn't often cause it to hang around but can actually force it to set earlier. Only rarely will it prove to the sun that Or You can sleep, and open yourself to the potential of a new sunrise, each and every day full of unknown potential. And you never know..... yesterdays sun might just shine on you again one day. DG - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    "prove that you are worth hanging around for if you NEED it's warmth that badly"- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Every time you say that a little piece of me dies..... :( OP I tend to hide out and (figuratively) lick my wounds. AND I SHARE YOUR PAIN ABOUT THIS DAMN SITE AND IDEVICES !!! I tried to start a thread about this very problem... But it didn't emerge out the other side of the censors office... Hp xo

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    ...That many who disappeared will eventually come crawling back ... When it suits them ! GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    such a long time between sunsets for me....it is nearly 29 years...now I can't believe that I wasted so much time and energy on a man who could have cared less....happily single me

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I shoot the horse

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Gimme a few Cocktails called "Sunrise" any day. *hic hic* :-) FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Lady_T ...now I know why they are building that glue factory near Mandurah

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Sometimes grief just consumes you and instead of fighting it you need to allow it. And then there comes the point where you must pick yourself up, sort yourself out and move on. I grieve very privately. Or ... in the context of RHP, at least anonymously :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    and go in search of bunnies

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' "prove that you are worth hanging around for if you NEED it's warmth that badly"- Posted from rhpmobile I wondered what you meant!Agree too.We are human after all, just don't get hung up

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You can chase a person who had reasons for leaving or you can except they left. Do what you need to in order to pick yourself up. Then move forward, if they do come back your in a better position to make a logical decision. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Let them go...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Thank you for your responses one and all, it was an impertinent question that I got curious about rather than something I am having to deal with. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked such a deeply intimate and personal question, but sometimes my mind wanders and the "foot in mouth" creeps onto the keyboard.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I think paintme has the right idea.

  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    11 years ago

    It depends on how much feelings I had for the individual man. For someone I didn't like as much, I didn't even need to heal because there was no pain no wound. My record so far is 3 months of grief over my very first ex, which happened more than a decade ago. Since him, my healing process for someone I really liked is getting shorter and shorter.- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The endings post. Me, it depends... I suppose a part of me is still grieving my marriage... Not him just the whole thing. Sometimes it hits me atthe strangest of times and ill just feel sad and shed a tear. With FBs, nothing. I really don't feel much more than a pang of regret that he/she was not for me or I them. No tears or hurt. I feel bad that I'm so cold about it. With someone I care about, I tend to fall into a small pit of despair for a little bit. Cry, stay in bed, not eat, feel horribly anxious. I don't reach out to the person or anyone else. I never give chase. I let them go, mourn then pick myself up. Start eating properly, start running again and going to the gym. Make myself go out and start living again.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I like to invite my friends Ben and Jerry over for some oral indulgence. They always leave me smiling and feeling satisfied.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    And go get another one !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    WHY did that person leave for?Sometimes a person my leave for good intentions and sometimes they leave for the best.*puts hand up feels gulity*I have left and not said a thing on the odd occasion, because I had to go away and control my feelings ( to work out if they were for me or not) - and before too long, time had passed - it was too late to do anything because I thought they might have moved on - some have made contact and I ignore...unsure why?Other times I have disappeared - because of their behavior..saw signs I did not like. Example being - they don't actions their words, lied and deceived me or I have felt really really uneasy about something.Not shown me they are able to be trustworthy.That's why I asked...I often wonder too, why others have just left????FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Foxy, that is an intriguing question as well. Maybe there is a family law specialist lawyer on here who can answer that one pretty well. Mine did about 3 months after my separation, he spoke for about fifteen minutes on the most common reasons for a separation and at the time I was amazed by his insight. Unfortunately at the time I was still pretty stunned by the loss of my family as well and I cannot remember half of what he said. I remember all the usual suspects were there....infidelity, not spending enough time with each other, excessive time at work. There were a few others as well which made a lot of sense and one I suspect caused the demise of my marriage but in the end I think the saddest thing he said was that if two people genuinely wanted to fix or repair their relationship, to connect again in that special way, they could often do it however these days one party or the other just couldn't be bothered.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I Stood on tip-toes.Anxiously looking.Down the road.That took you.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Luckdragon23' I think paintme has the right idea. That is in fact completely not the case. I just treasure the time I spend with people and let them go when they have other stuff to do. If they stay, they stay. If they've got to go, then big kiss and hug and see ya!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Consume a tub of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked in one session, then get on with life, making more friends in the process.Life is too short for moping and I've got things to do.