F46
What do you call this?
June 27 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think you should come over and show me the difference between a fuck buddy and date. lol. I have a beach resort apartment with silk sheets. Shall I put the coffee on !
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's not a 'causal fuck buddy', which to me is just sex and that's pretty much it, sounds more like 'friends with benefits'.I guess I wouldn't really consider that dating if there was no intention that it would become an exclusive thing where you become a major part of each other's lives, meet the family and friends etc.So you can relax, I don't think hanging out with and getting along with someone you fuck automatically equals a 'committed relationship', though I guess that is a step further down that path.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It sounds like friends sans benefits. What strikes me is that he didn't even imply, let alone explicitly mention, casual fucking on his to-do list, so I don't know how he thinks that is a casual fuck buddy. Where I'm from "hang out" means "hang out", not casually fuck.xx Stuck
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RHP User
12 years ago
Good luck with that! Seems like he wants his finger in all aspects of the pie to use you when and as he pleases.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Apollo Thirteen nailed it.... My question to you Miss Sarah (cause I am curious - no pun intended on your name) are you interested in this guy and how are you going to approach this ???
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RHP User
12 years ago
"next"... I guess you haven't come across the "looking for a wife" messages on here yet? I have, now theres something to be really afraid of... One guy from another site asked if I had kids, and whether I wanted to become mother to his two young-uns... And he wasn't smirking when he said this over coffee...suffice to sah coffee was over quickly...and I left. Your example is quite interesting and common on the site that i think you are referring to. Mr "become mother to my pre existing kids over coffee" was one of the gems from there, which is why I am here instead. Seems a bit confusing those types. I avoid the ones who say they want everything that looks like a relationship but also says they don't want a relationship..makes you think they'll tell ypu everything about sex without actually doing anything at all...perhaps
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RHP User
12 years ago
No one has a chance of complicating things from our end. However, we do seek to become friends with people so that we can do lunch, movies, nightclubs (shopping for the girls) etc. as well as the occasional hot, sweaty romp. I'm actually surprised at how rare this desire is. Most couples want anonymous sex which just isn't us.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Men will often say what they think women want to hear, mention all the other stuff,and dont mention sex to start with.I am not sure which site you were on but if it isn't similar to RHP then this is a possibility. Even if you are meeting someone just for sex that is still a relationship of sorts. If you are meeting them for sex on a regular basis emotions can get involved, and if it is just from one side then things can get tricky. If you are interested in this man just say,you will do him just not a movie or the pub,or hang gliding.x Hugs H
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Quoting 'MsVelvetblue' My question to you Miss Sarah (cause I am curious - no pun intended on your name) are you interested in this guy and how are you going to approach this ??? The text above was his second message to me, his first was just asking if i wanted to be 'friends' and my reply to that was asking for info about what he was after as on that site profiles are lucky to have one line of info about the person.And I basically told him what I said in the original post, that I think he's going to get more than he bargained for, and that it's definitely not my scene, best of luck, seeya later.It just left me scratching my head thinking this guy should be careful what he wishes for. Quoting 'Dark_Moon_Lilith' " Your example is quite interesting and common on the site that i think you are referring to.<...> I avoid the ones who say they want everything that looks like a relationship but also says they don't want a relationship.I don't know which site you're referring to but this is a small local swingers site, and it's waaaaaaaay more wham-bam than here, which only added to my confusion. It's not a site where singles typically go looking for 'friends' (the couples are more socially oriented tho).
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MissSarahCurious' The text above was his second message to me, his first was just asking if i wanted to be 'friends' and my reply to that was asking for info about what he was after as on that site profiles are lucky to have one line of info about the person. Oh. In that case, that's odd. I assumed in my original post that sex was already a given and the buddying was an 'added bonus', or why else is he referring to it as a 'fuck buddy' situation?Having to go through all of that movie watching, dining, holding hands, and sharing feelings rubbish before you get sex? Sounds like dating to me!
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inspirit
12 years ago
l found your post most interesting and defiantley worth debating over. There have been many posts on FWB's and FB's. The term friends with benifits is becoming a joke really... This is my spin on it ....Fuckbuddy: Of course you're friends, you dont have regular sex with a stranger. The term allows for just that, no dinners, movies, walks in the fucking park ectFriends with benifits: Ms Sarah you nailed it on the head. I think it's a cop out for those who are seeking companionship, regualr fuk sessions, walks in the park, dinner's, movies blah blah blah In my experience FWB's turn to shittola. The "relationship" becomes complicated, no matter how much you don't want it to, emotions and feelings do crop up. l don't think you can have a regular onging "intimate" relationship with out it happening unless of course you are built of steel. Call it Darwinism if you like...it's a fact. How many times have we seen post's on"my FWB has found a permy and i feel like sht". People need to be honest with their feelings not afraid of them or worse deny them. And ffs be honest in what they are REALLY looking for. l refuse to do FWB's now. Much prefer my FB's whereby we all know where we stand. .....just great sex and if they talk to much...gag them!This is just my take on it.....
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RogueGeek
12 years ago
If a woman offered/asked for this, would you still call it dating? Because he said is how I would describe friendship. For me, dating implies exclusivity, preference and moving towards a future goal, ie - you go out with that person exclusively (never in groups), you give them preference over others (your gf/bf calls for help at the same time as a normal friend - you go to the gf/bf don't you?), and you expect the relationship to move towards a goal such as living together/marraige/children etc (as opposed to friendship which is usually we will hang out and support each other for as long as it works).I have had FBs and FWBs. I prefer the FWBs because I don't have much time to do my own thing, and as much as I enjoy sex, I don't want it to consume all of my free time. Having a person with similar interests, who isn't afraid to be seen with me in public (as friends) but who also enjoys getting naked - that ticks all my boxes.If you don't want a FWB then don't get one. Cheers,MS
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RHP User
12 years ago
MissSarah, seems like friendship, but I reckon in the back of his mind would also be sex. So Friends with benefits by association i'm thinking. Unless he's gay and he's looking fora fag hag.These are my definitions.Fuck buddy: aka FB, You meet up for sex only, you maintain an emotional detachment, you know littleabout them, they know little about you. Kinda like mutually beneficial prostitution sans the money.Seems like i've been summoned to perform some sexual activities, I'll come back and finish this later :)Cheers Felonius
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Quoting 'MS_and_Geek' If a woman offered/asked for this, would you still call it dating? Because he said is how I would describe friendship. For me, dating implies exclusivity, preference and moving towards a future goal, ie - you go out with that person exclusively (never in groups), you give them preference over others (your gf/bf calls for help at the same time as a normal friend - you go to the gf/bf don't you?), and you expect the relationship to move towards a goal such as living together/marraige/children etc (as opposed to friendship which is usually we will hang out and support each other for as long as it works).I have had FBs and FWBs. I prefer the FWBs because I don't have much time to do my own thing, and as much as I enjoy sex, I don't want it to consume all of my free time. Having a person with similar interests, who isn't afraid to be seen with me in public (as friends) but who also enjoys getting naked - that ticks all my boxes.If you don't want a FWB then don't get one. Cheers,MS Dating doesn't necessarily imply exclusivity, IMO. In the early stages before you become a couple aren't you doing all those things, just testing the waters, not promised to each other, no obligation to meet the parents, etc?I can assure you I won't be getting a FWB, don't worry about lil ol me.. ;)xx Sarah
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think it's in between dating and a FB, MissSarah. To me it sounds like one sort of FWB arrangement (which can turn into dating...). To me everything can be in a FWB except the emotional love-y stuff. Committment, jealousy, expensive rings, meeting the parents and so on. I have an excellent FWB arrangement at the moment and it seems to include everything that "dating" does except for that stuff and the potential to be "together" forever. So really, it's like a relationship with all the dangerous stuff removed. Kind of like dealcoholised wine or loading your gun with blank ammunition.
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Quoting 'slippery_halo' I think it's in between dating and a FB, MissSarah. To me it sounds like one sort of FWB arrangement (which can turn into dating...). To me everything can be in a FWB except the emotional love-y stuff. Committment, jealousy, expensive rings, meeting the parents and so on. I have an excellent FWB arrangement at the moment and it seems to include everything that "dating" does except for that stuff and the potential to be "together" forever. So really, it's like a relationship with all the dangerous stuff removed. Kind of like dealcoholised wine or loading your gun with blank ammunition. It's a Clayton's gf/bf?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I always thought FB and FWB were exactly the same thing, FB had just morphed a little in language to make it more socially acceptable to say!You can freely say "Friend with benefits" in front of the kiddies. "Fuck buddy"? Not so much!
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RHP User
12 years ago
FWB aka Friends with Benefits. Two people who enjoy each others companionship outof the bedroom, they also enjoy sex with each other, thoughits not necessarily the base function of the relationship.They connect on an emotional level.They care about each other.They don't have a committed nor monogamous relationship.Dating: When two people come together, on a journey of discoveryof each other with a view to a permanent and committed andmost likely monogamous relationship which would involve cohabitation, and possibly children.As far as I'm concerned all these types of relationships aredefinetly different, of course there are the colours of the rainbow in between.Cheers Felonius
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Quoting 'ApolloThirteen' I always thought FB and FWB were exactly the same thing, FB had just morphed a little in language to make it more socially acceptable to say!You can freely say "Friend with benefits" in front of the kiddies. "Fuck buddy"? Not so much! I have fuck buddies, when we meet, it's for sex and the understanding is that you bring your happy sexy headspace and not your troubles, or you take a raincheck. We like and have respect for each other but we don't go out anywhere together before or after sex. We meet at the place where we'll be having sex, we have sex, we might chat a little, have some more sex and the person who doesn't live there goes home. If I want to chat with someone and not have sex with them, I go see a friend.
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RHP User
12 years ago
He is TRYING TOOOOO HARD He just wants a FUVK or a Blow and GO Nothing more nothing less
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it sounds like a date, smells like a date and tastes like a date, then its a date. I'd sign up for fucking, spanking some ass and pulling some hair and if your still not satisfied after a few red hot goes of that and you think you need a coffee then thats OK too. (FSPHC) If its more friendship than fucking then its a FWB or FWOB (Friend With Occasional Benifits) 'If its all dinner and conversation then its a date. over and out
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inspirit
12 years ago
Quoting 'slippery_halo' I think it's in between dating and a FB, MissSarah. To me it sounds like one sort of FWB arrangement (which can turn into dating...). To me everything can be in a FWB except the emotional love-y stuff. Committment, jealousy, expensive rings, meeting the parents and so on. I have an excellent FWB arrangement at the moment and it seems to include everything that "dating" does except for that stuff and the potential to be "together" forever. So really, it's like a relationship with all the dangerous stuff removed. Kind of like dealcoholised wine or loading your gun with blank ammunition. When you gonna let me do your arse
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'wowwow11' He is TRYING TOOOOO HARD He just wants a FUVK or a Blow and GO Nothing more nothing less Quoting 'MissSarahCurious' Quoting 'ApolloThirteen' I always thought FB and FWB were exactly the same thing, FB had just morphed a little in language to make it more socially acceptable to say! You can freely say "Friend with benefits" in front of the kiddies. "Fuck buddy"? Not so much! I have fuck buddies, when we meet, it's for sex and the understanding is that you bring your happy sexy headspace and not your troubles, or you take a raincheck. We like and have respect for each other but we don't go out anywhere together before or after sex. We meet at the place where we'll be having sex, we have sex, we might chat a little, have some more sex and the person who doesn't live there goes home. If I want to chat with someone and not have sex with them, I go see a friend. the whole fuck buddy concept hinges on food intake. no breakfast,dinner, lunch etc there is an exception to the rule however. during sex it is permissable to top up on life-saving nutrients. that perfect scene in seinfeld when george eats a whole roast chicken in bed in a pause between sex. how's up for a roast? hahahahahahaha
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RHP User
12 years ago
How the are we supposed to meet women and still keep it straight? There are so many forms of relationship on here most guys try and cover all bases when contacting women. I know I am reading womens profiles before contacting them and try to come at this openly. If a woman says no relationship and only FB then thats cool but when you meet there is a subtle or not so subtle shift. My last FB was pretty good about this but after a couple of weeks I had met her kids and was copping family discussions and being dragged into family business. I ended that! That should have been a FWB relationship which I did not sign up for when negotiating the minefield. If you are doing FB or FWB or Mr Right please make it clear and don't ruin things by moving the goal posts. Mike PS this has been one of the few people I have met on here who wasn't looking for a longer term thing, which woul not have been out of the question but was not even brought up.
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MissSarahCurious
12 years ago
Quoting 'miketheduc' How the are we supposed to meet women and still keep it straight? There are so many forms of relationship on here most guys try and cover all bases when contacting women. I know I am reading womens profiles before contacting them and try to come at this openly. If a woman says no relationship and only FB then thats cool but when you meet there is a subtle or not so subtle shift. My last FB was pretty good about this but after a couple of weeks I had met her kids and was copping family discussions and being dragged into family business. I ended that! That should have been a FWB relationship which I did not sign up for when negotiating the minefield. If you are doing FB or FWB or Mr Right please make it clear and don't ruin things by moving the goal posts. Mike PS this has been one of the few people I have met on here who wasn't looking for a longer term thing, which woul not have been out of the question but was not even brought up. In that case she was the one kidding herself. Meeting someone's kids and family is definitely not within the fuck buddy zone.I'm lucky enough that my kids have a great dad so we each have one week on/one week off. So I never have to compromise my rule of "No playtime during kids' time". Anyone who pushes too hard trying to get around that rule when I've made that clear to them goes on my blacklist. You're not FB material if you can't take no for an answer.xx Sarah
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RogueGeek
12 years ago
By 'exclusivity' I meant you make time to see just them. When it's just a friend you would see them at the same time as other friends.I dunno.I've had FWB. It was awesome.Cheers,MS Quoting 'MissSarahCurious' Quoting 'MS_and_Geek' If a woman offered/asked for this, would you still call it dating? Because he said is how I would describe friendship. For me, dating implies exclusivity, preference and moving towards a future goal, ie - you go out with that person exclusively (never in groups), you give them preference over others (your gf/bf calls for help at the same time as a normal friend - you go to the gf/bf don't you?), and you expect the relationship to move towards a goal such as living together/marraige/children etc (as opposed to friendship which is usually we will hang out and support each other for as long as it works).I have had FBs and FWBs. I prefer the FWBs because I don't have much time to do my own thing, and as much as I enjoy sex, I don't want it to consume all of my free time. Having a person with similar interests, who isn't afraid to be seen with me in public (as friends) but who also enjoys getting naked - that ticks all my boxes.If you don't want a FWB then don't get one. Cheers,MS Dating doesn't necessarily imply exclusivity, IMO. In the early stages before you become a couple aren't you doing all those things, just testing the waters, not promised to each other, no obligation to meet the parents, etc?I can assure you I won't be getting a FWB, don't worry about lil ol me.. ;)xx Sarah
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