M37 F38
What does great relationship take?
September 02 2009
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
That's easy - communication. And more communication. Can't read each other's minds, so the easiest is to have it out. We take it that when one of us says something, it is accepted at face value - no point in reading too much into it, or putting one's own interpretation into it. If it's a confronting communication, things must be said without heat. Of course, there's times when that all goes out the window, particularly when it's an exceptionally vexing issue. The make-up sex after that is ALWAYS brilliant :).
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RHP User
15 years ago
Communication and Date Night is key - I learnt this the hard way with my marriage. We never spoke and well look where we are - divorced. I introduced date night to Trev when we first hooked up and we have rarely missed. With 4 kids, fulltime jobs and training for crazy stuff like marathons and triathlons we put aside time each fortnight for date night. We take it in turns to organise and it can be anything from the movies and dinner to going for a hike. I even organised our first swingers party for date night not that long ago - think that may have been a winner. Communication and telling the other when you are pissed off. Man that is so therapeutic. Kilee
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RHP User
15 years ago
It's all wrapped up in the first response although date night is a good idea when the distractions of life leave you with little "us" time! Yep communication is key and sometimes realising that sometimes bad habits can creep into the process and need to be ironed out and if you can't iron it out between each other a little communication therapy with the help of a professional is very healthy. Everyone can always learn something new, you never actually achieve a perfect relationship, the perfect ones are those where both strive for it!
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RHP User
15 years ago
We are a couple of some strong 26 years together, teen sweethearts one could say . We are always amazed at the term " communication " being thrown around as the be all to end all of a great relationship when it really is just the begining of what makes a realationship tick. Even enemies can communicate if you want to put it in to context...they communicate their threats to each other !!!. The " communication" part is just a tool basically to say what you want to say to the other. The real nuts and bolts of the relationship is how we each deal with what the other has said. We have freinds who were in a long term realationship and always said they "communicated" well and this gave them the warm fuzzy feeling of being a good couple, but the truth of the matter was neither cared or wanted to listen to what each other was communicating to them and this was a thorn that festered over time . Needless to say they are no longer attatched!. For us its all about being a team and backing each other up , being there when needed and giving space equally as well.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Date night is a brilliant idea! We're going to have to try that now.
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RHP User
15 years ago
yes the first reply says it all.. but also you have to be as honest as you possible can when it comes to desires.. and off course there has to be a good connection or chemistry to start with.. You will be surprised what your partner are willing do with you and for you if you lay your cards on the table if there is love or lust in the relationship of course,, good luck
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RHP User
15 years ago
Date nights are great, another great one is the more and less game.Basically you say to your partner I want more of this and less of this. Then they do the same to you. Great one to do on date nightsI once took this to the extreme and did a SWOT (strengths,weaknesses, opportunities,threats) analysis on our relationship which worked quite well yet didnt make it routineIn my experience they keys are:Trust and respect (true for all relationships)AttractionKindnessUnderstanding how stresses effect each other and how to handleFor man to be master of conflict (inner and outer)Communication (having a hard time with this one at the moment) is the lubrication that keeps it all runningKillers and death indicators:Destructive critisismIn argument attacking charater not issue at handContemptMaking important decisions in upset/angry state of mind
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RHP User
15 years ago
1. being able to talk about absolutely anything 2. being able to laugh through the hard times 3. being best friends as well as lovers 4. respect 5. kindess 6. fun
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bmcouple
15 years ago
Your partner has to be your best friend all the rest comes naturaly.
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RHP User
15 years ago
of all the bad ones I've had, I'de have to say I'm 100% on the communication!! the bestfriend theory is good to, if you have a really good friendship everything falls together (communication, trust etc.) but I have yet to experience a good relationship :-P still a youngin though! hehe
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RHP User
15 years ago
Male point of view, is simple; a: Yes Dear b: you look lovely c: your hair looks nice d: your body still looks great e: you are like a red wine you just get better with age. Oh we have been married 32 years. Must work
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RHP User
15 years ago
communication is the key, and respect. my hubby is my best friend, after 11 years we still say i love you every day and never go to bed angry with each other.when we are angry we talk about it, i wont let him walk away and he wont let me.you will know when u find the one, yes corny i know, but its true.hours of silence is not an issue, we sit comfortably in silence and love all the bad bits as well as the good bits.
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RHP User
15 years ago
its what you make it honesty, amicable , love and fun , quality time and no jealousy thats what makes it strong me n my partner we are all of that and more .. a great team we are as one enjoy other people then bak to each other xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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RHP User
15 years ago
Definately honesty, communication and love the date night idea!!!!!!!!!!!If you aren't honest, can't talk and can't take the time to just enjoy your relationship with your partner, you have nothing.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Definately agree that the key components are:Honesty - without it, you have nothingCommunication - if you can't talk, even about mundane things, why keep the relationship goingDate Night - oh that is a beauty!!!! Even just snuggling up on the couch in front of a dvd with a glass of wine, how relaxingIf you can't give your partner any of the above, you just have a "co-habitation" existance - why stay together for that??? I know couples that stayed together for the children's sake, once they're gone, what are you left with???? Someone you really can't talk to - so not worth it.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I agree, Communication, honesty and most of all respect are the key to an awesome relationship - without those you just have a co-existance/co-habitation.Got to say, I love the idea of "Date Night"!!!! Must try that one ;-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
honesty love n AWESOME SEX MY MAN DRIVES ME WILD IN BED N ALWAYS MAKES ME HORNY, I LOVE WATCHN HIM PLEASE OTHERS ITS HOT AS I KNOW HOW GREAT HE IS ...........................XOXOX
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RHP User
15 years ago
.........which a lot of people can't grasp the concept of.Met a couple on here, been playing with them a few weeks and the guy has the audacity to want a hook up behind wifey's back!!!! Said "just between you and me".......honesty obviously isn't big in his marriage. How many other couples end up getting attached to their playmate & affectively carry on an affair behind their mate's back ?Without pure honesty, I agree with withering, you have cohabitation.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'm agreeing with whats been said!! hubby & I have been together 19 yrs married 12!! we love each other sooo much & respect one another trust & are honest with each other!! we have had our ups & downs probably like others, However we have fun!! We also have our own time out.. he might go skiiing with his mates & i may have fun shopping with the Girls!! But we always have time for each other day / night!! & never a day goes by where we dont tell one another we love each other!! I think if your happy the home is a happy place!! I think we have a gr8 relationship! we have been child hood sweet hearts! & this is just another part of our lives where we are haveing fun with adventures!! honesty,love,respect,trust,fun love & many more happy things!! Men like compliments just as much as women!! enjoy life xoxoxoxoxoxox
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RHP User
15 years ago
self confidencesexual attractionsimilar valuestrustcommunicationpatienceunderstandingforgivenesssame sex driveRESPECTLOYALTY
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RHP User
15 years ago
For those of you who think date night is a great idea feel free to post your ideas of what you did / where you went. Would love to hear it. K.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Secret in jokes and language, it helps to make you feel "together" Loving the person you are with now - not the person they were or the person they will become but who they are now. Saying thank you and telling each other why you love each other not just i love you. Being good friends we have done some date night and date days were we have met out where we are having the date rather then get ready together --- makes it feel more like a "date" and it is exciting seeing what they will be wearing mrs
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RHP User
15 years ago
This must be one of the best topics I have read on RHP yet. Truly enriching and dealing with core aspects of intimacy.Well started by a person(s) who sound far more mature minded than the years of age.I cannot contribute much as my long term relationship eventuated in a separation.What I have seen some successful modern couples do is to identify one or two projects they are both passionate about and joinly venture into it. That seems to cement teamwork, comms and many of the above in a real playground.Otherwise Love becomes a noun and goes static.Then it decays.As long as it remains a verb , it flows and it works lovingly.However, if/when all the codes fail, no need to always blame yourself.Sometimes somethings have an inbuilt expiry date and there's nothing we mortals can do about it, even if we freeze it till eternity.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Some people are just made for each other. 26 years ago I wore a santa suit to a christmas party... without the pants.... and I met an elf who had fashioned herself an elf suit out of a green garbage bag.. no panties. We married 2 years later and have been together ever since. Freedom, compassion, forgiving and a willingness to back each other up when it counts... it also helps if you enjoy each other's company. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
15 years ago
When u find that answer plz let me know ;p
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RHP User
15 years ago
mr_mrsMJ, charly776... We too agree with you both.. love, respect, honesty, communication all are a big part of what makes for a great long lasting intimate relationship. The ability to also have your own space time is only possible where trust is involved. We both enjoy sitting on the couch, not even talking but lost in our own worlds yet still together doing our own things. Touching, a quick cuddle, a pat on the bum all simple but intimate things done each day are simple reminders that the other is important to you and that you love and respect them.... Oh, and the ability to meet and play with others.. well for us it only strengthens our relationship as the communication afterwards is.. well, simply put.. "hot"...
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RHP User
15 years ago
me and my wife tried "communication" and it didn't work.. wat worked for us is we found what each others love langauges were.. then communication just happens. At the end of the day u can talk to the cows come home but if either party doesn't feel respected/supported more then likely go ur seperate ways.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Trishl- couldn't have said it better myself K.
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RHP User
15 years ago
That's the one thing with me, communication - you have to talk until you're blue in the face !!!!!!!!!Never go to bed angry...........Trust (many men can't grasp that concept)HONESTY - lie to me once, there's the door........I've been burnt too many times, I'm extremely wary now but without any of the above, you won't even get a decent conversation out of me just a blunt rude reply
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