F70
What does intimacy mean o you?
March 06 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have a close male friend who lost a very close female friend a few months ago, suddenly . He was devastated. And still is We have spent quite a bit of time together (purely platonic) and yet it has been a very intimate relationship in as much that he has shared with me and I with him, thoughts, feelings, regrets, fantasies, wishes, dreams, hopes etc but the words that haven't been exchanged, are just as relevant. Just a knowing and understanding of where each others head and heart are. True intimacy is being completely naked and vulnerable emotionally, with another, without fear, judgement or rejection
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RHP User
9 years ago
When you are lying together after sex, in each others arms, talking about each others lives in general, showing genuine concern if one or the other is not having the best time, the content glow of sharing yourselves with each other. A stroke of the face, hair, little squeeze of the the bum, a well timed cheeky remark that turns into a tussle that then turns into......more sex ! Just enjoying the closeness of being with each other. Thats why the concept of a root and go leaves me cold. Im a touchy/feely person, I love hugging and stroking, not everyone likes it, I know, but I love being close to people and making them feel truly wanted. After a lover leaves, I like feeling happy and desired, not cold and empty.
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
But lying together even before sex or just lying there close together with no intention of having sex, cuddling, kissing, sharing closeness, even just holding hands or a hug and kiss (lying together on the same lounge cuddling and watching the news can be intimate)
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
We have been married for almost 19 years, and intimacy for us , is just something "we are" together . It's the sum of the two of us , that come together to make a whole. We can feel it . It's perhaps a sharing of minds , it's about trust, respect, love, selflessness and a whole lot more . Our lives are intertwined, one life. And the more we do together, the more we experience together, the closer we become, the bond of intimacy strengthens ... It's hard to be verbalise. - Posted from rhpmobile
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PurePeony
9 years ago
... chichi and singleguy... I'm sitting here, feeling that warmth in my heart and having a bit of jelly legs from reading your comments. Once you've enjoyed intimacy, it's very hard to ever enjoy a McFuck (Fast Sex... the sex version of fast food. LOL!). Sigh... Hmm... I quite like that term - McFuck! LOL!!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Being seen and appreciated holistically. Honesty. Feeling compelled to share, being open, exposed and vulnerable. Disarmed, at ease and natural. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
To me... intimacy is allowing someone to see..... me.... the mind, heart and soul beyond chit chat and how do you do's. It is Access to the person behind the To me it has nothing to do with nudity or sex... because I need to be on intimate terms with someone before I decide that will happen. DG
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TakingMyTime
9 years ago
Another great read and post and I am loving the you guys that have responded have a little more insight that what I would have thought just brilliant
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RHP User
9 years ago
Chi Chi and DC36 Yes. It does not have to involve touch. But re: touch. - Chin on her shoulder in the check out line. - hand resting on the thigh driving. - playing with her hair watching a movie. - looking into the eyes. - washing every inch of each other in the shower. - hand in the back pocket. - Posted from rhpmobile
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lovman8
9 years ago
Quoting 'TakingMyTime' Another great read and post and I am loving the you guys that have responded have a little more insight that what I would have thought just brilliant One strong factor in intimacy for me is "taking my time" and not rushing headlong into fucking
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RHP User
9 years ago
How nice for you to feel like that after your 'lover' leaves. I like feeling cold and empty 😯
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Mr_MrsAraps
9 years ago
For me emotional intimacy is all about being vulnerable. Being able to put there out openly, honestly and without judgement who you really are inside. Physical intimacy doesn't have to be sex, hell it doesn't even have to mean being naked. Just let me gaze into someone's eyes and them into mine and I turn to mushy puddle. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' When you are lying together after sex, in each others arms, talking about each others lives in general, showing genuine concern if one or the other is not having the best time, the content glow of sharing yourselves with each other. A stroke of the face, hair, little squeeze of the the bum, a well timed cheeky remark that turns into a tussle that then turns into......more sex ! Just enjoying the closeness of being with each other. Thats why the concept of a root and go leaves me cold. Im a touchy/feely person, I love hugging and stroking, not everyone likes it, I know, but I love being close to people and making them feel truly wanted. After a lover leaves, I like feeling happy and desired, not cold and empty. Nothing beats the post coital affection between two (or more) people connected, not in a romantic way (God forbid that the contra-romantic, 'this is fuck-and-go site' police would be up in arms). Just chatting, arms locked, lingering looks and touches that really makes one think that intimacy does not have to be peripheral when enjoying sex in any form that one enjoys - vanilla, kinky, wild or otherwise - that suits the dynamics of two (or more) people in that moment. I have a regular fwb, a beautiful young professional man. We chat about everything from architecture, arts, sex, sports (we both are active sports mad people), travel and work, before and after sex, and in between sessions. It is just gorgeous that he pulls me in all the time after sex as we both lie there naked and spent yet content, and hugs me and kisses me on the forehead, cheeks and lips sporadically, as we chat., brushing my hair away from my sweaty face. He likes the mental and intellectual connection we have, on top of the physical, and sexual, that he rarely finds with women his age. Although he says that not all mature women can also engage in the type of conversation we have. It is that connection just leads to better intimacy and better memories and great sex. We then both go our separate ways happy for a couple of weeks, exchange sexy texts on occasions and then go wanting for more. the build up and anticipation is excruciatingly sexy and fun. At the end of the day, we are all human who crave some sort of intimacy and value some affection and care from other parties. Else we might as well be free hookers on this site. some people my act like that already and even don't get paid for it. Reading the forum posts of late, some people are very damaged by their life experiences that they do not allow intimacy into their fragile minds for fear of it leading to attachment and rejection. They associate Intimacy to romance. They build a facade to cover up their mental and emotional fragility and insecurities. They attack people who like and experience the intimacy that they crave and are really, deep down, envious of, because the former invalidates their current approach in life, that they refuse to change. Their vicious behavior is more a reflection of their jealousy and frustration in trying to justify to themselves that their chosen approach is the only valid one for this site. They adopt a 'fuck anything and go' attitude which in turn thinking regular random sex would fill in the lack of intimacy they are not getting by opening up. Vicious cycle. It does not have to be that way. Our approaches and attitudes here does not have to be binary in nature as we are all complex humans. Intimacy does not have to be always romantic in nature, two very different things. Intimacy pertains to connecting soul to soul (or 'sharing one's true self' read that somewhere can remember where) , romance pertains more to the act of charming the other party (to a point, some can be glib), sometimes outrageous behaviour that can be OTT. One can be romantic yet not be intimate. If people want to be intimate, that is their choice and their prerogative and everybody should butt out. None of other people's fucking business. Personally, I love intimacy.... more fulfilling than fuck-and-go... But that is just my opinion....
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Seachange
9 years ago
Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' We have been married for almost 19 years, and intimacy for us , is just something "we are" together . It's the sum of the two of us , that come together to make a whole. We can feel it . It's perhaps a sharing of minds , it's about trust, respect, love, selflessness and a whole lot more . Our lives are intertwined, one life. And the more we do together, the more we experience together, the closer we become, the bond of intimacy strengthens ... - Posted from rhpmobile Lovely, just lovely.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'lilybethyname' Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' When you are lying together after sex, in each others arms, talking about each others lives in general, showing genuine concern if one or the other is not having the best time, the content glow of sharing yourselves with each other. A stroke of the face, hair, little squeeze of the the bum, a well timed cheeky remark that turns into a tussle that then turns into......more sex ! Just enjoying the closeness of being with each other. Thats why the concept of a root and go leaves me cold. Im a touchy/feely person, I love hugging and stroking, not everyone likes it, I know, but I love being close to people and making them feel truly wanted. After a lover leaves, I like feeling happy and desired, not cold and empty. Nothing beats the post coital affection between two (or more) people connected, not in a romantic way (God forbid that the contra-romantic, 'this is fuck-and-go site' police would be up in arms). Just chatting, arms locked, lingering looks and touches that really makes one think that intimacy does not have to be peripheral when enjoying sex in any form that one enjoys - vanilla, kinky, wild or otherwise - that suits the dynamics of two (or more) people in that moment. I have a regular fwb, a beautiful young professional man. We chat about everything from architecture, arts, sex, sports (we both are active sports mad people), travel and work, before and after sex, and in between sessions. It is just gorgeous that he pulls me in all the time after sex as we both lie there naked and spent yet content, and hugs me and kisses me on the forehead, cheeks and lips sporadically, as we chat., brushing my hair away from my sweaty face. He likes the mental and intellectual connection we have, on top of the physical, and sexual, that he rarely finds with women his age. Although he says that not all mature women can also engage in the type of conversation we have. It is that connection just leads to better intimacy and better memories and great sex. We then both go our separate ways happy for a couple of weeks, exchange sexy texts on occasions and then go wanting for more. the build up and anticipation is excruciatingly sexy and fun. At the end of the day, we are all human who crave some sort of intimacy and value some affection and care from other parties. Else we might as well be free hookers on this site. some people my act like that already and even don't get paid for it. Reading the forum posts of late, some people are very damaged by their life experiences that they do not allow intimacy into their fragile minds for fear of it leading to attachment and rejection. They associate Intimacy to romance. They build a facade to cover up their mental and emotional fragility and insecurities. They attack people who like and experience the intimacy that they crave and are really, deep down, envious of, because the former invalidates their current approach in life, that they refuse to change. Their vicious behavior is more a reflection of their jealousy and frustration in trying to justify to themselves that their chosen approach is the only valid one for this site. They adopt a 'fuck anything and go' attitude which in turn thinking regular random sex would fill in the lack of intimacy they are not getting by opening up. Vicious cycle. It does not have to be that way. Our approaches and attitudes here does not have to be binary in nature as we are all complex humans. Intimacy does not have to be always romantic in nature, two very different things. Intimacy pertains to connecting soul to soul (or 'sharing one's true self' read that somewhere can remember where) , romance pertains more to the act of charming the other party (to a point, some can be glib), sometimes outrageous behaviour that can be OTT. One can be romantic yet not be intimate. If people want to be intimate, that is their choice and their prerogative and everybody should butt out. None of other people's fucking business. Personally, I love intimacy.... more fulfilling than fuck-and-go... But that is just my opinion.... Lily, I agree with your comments. Intimacy can occur in so many different forms and doesn't necessarily include romance. I love the conversations I've had over the years with many fb's and fwb's and those conversations may take place while watching tv or just hanging around in bed after sex.....anywhere really.....and they may be sexy conversations or one of us may be venting about ex's or work stress. Either way, it's an outlet and it's appreciated by the other person for me to listen to them and it's a pleasure to be listened to. It's one on one......to tell someone something that you may not tell anyone else.....some have even shed tears because what they have shared with me is so personal......that's intimacy.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have developed a deep bond with a former lover who is now my very close and intimate friend. We always hold hands and hug each other when going out ... we have shared a bed just for the cuddles and good night sleep in each others arms waking up to a kiss on the forehead before sharing breakfast. We share a friendship that has become even more intimate now that the sex side is no longer part of the equation. Due to his moving away with work commitments we decided to give each other our freedom. We keep in touch regularly and catch up when possible. What we discovered is that our friendship is unconditional. We share a truth that I haven't experienced before without judgement but complete honesty, whether we like what we hear or not. We love each other we are not "in love" with each other... where it will go is yet an undiscovered journey. Either way I have a trusted friend for life. LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
I consider intimacy as sometimes slightly different things. You can be physically intimate with someone - Koko's example is perfect you can do with someone you know but not know everything about. Thats how I like to be physically intimate also. Where you can look back afterwards and consider it a special moment - not just a good fuck, but a special experience for mind, body and soul. Even if you don't ever that with them again. But ultimate intimacy to me is like what ChiChi described. Is that raw naked soul bearing vulnerability. Being able to open up to someone and say things or just sit there in silence feeling comfort and connection. Knowing that despite the fact they see your flaws they accept and appreciate you. You can spend your whole life with someone and never be truly intimate. But spent 24 hours with someone and experience true intimacy. Its not measured by time or the type of relationship you have. Thats just my morning coffee special
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RHP User
9 years ago
I know I don't need to but feel that I should say this to make it clear to those who may misread what I have said. I am not saying having one off encounters lacks intimacy etc. Nor am I saying that a good old random fuck with a stranger isn't fulfilling. The question was about what we personally feel intimacy is for us. Not asking us how we judge others experiences and whether we think their lives have enough of it. I truly hope everyone is experiencing that level of connection with someone - whether its someone they are married to, have sex with, are friends with or related to. I feel like a a bit of a knob pointing this out - but so many people have written about their own feelings and opened up lately, and others have taken it has a self righteous judgment being made. Everyone stay happy and enjoy life, love and fucking.
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Service_man
9 years ago
Completely agree. When I was younger and dating I did not need or understand intimacy. One special woman took the time and patience to teach me, not with some stupid mistakes on my part along the way. After a long warm marriage I crave it more than just sex. Recently I had a bad experience with a woman from another site that just wanted sex- no intimacy and I ended it quickly as it was not a FWB relationship to me
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