M60
What finally makes you decide to end a realationship ?
August 10 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
But for me mainly it has regularly been this It was having to justify my career being somewhat a priority because of nature of said career Him cheating cause I was establishing a career - his words not mine
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OPNmarriagecpl
10 years ago
We are still "in" our first relationship, 18 years and going from strength to strength. Looking forward to hearing people's stories though. OP, what has prompted you to end a relationship/FWB/FB attachment before?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I am very honest. So if I say something is ok, then it really is ok.But if I say it's not then it damn well isn't.And the worst thing a man could do to me is be patronising or act like he knows better than me because he is a man.Communication is so important. Listen to your partner and always treat each other with respect.Otherwise it is Bye Bye
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RHP User
10 years ago
For me it's when it's more like a chore ,than enjoying each other and life Which should be fun,full of experiences! Sure sex is a bit part ,we are not on here to play scrabble,lol Sometimes you have to cut your ties and start again! Rhp is one option which for me has it's own hurdles,some genuine ladies on here that's for sure! Need a chemistry for the next step for me anyway!
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RHP User
10 years ago
What made me end it was the realisation that we had only kept going for the past four years for the sake of our kids and I realised our constant arguing each night was taking it's toll on our kids. The arguments weren't loud and, most of the time, we kept the arguing to a time after the kids' bed time, however, the kids knew we were arguing.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I realised the reasons I was staying didn't outweigh the fact I dreaded him walking through the front door, nor were they the right ones.
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RHP User
10 years ago
the need to transition ,,and become a woman ,,,,,,,
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RHP User
10 years ago
walked out on me, I didn't really get a say. I haven't had anyone else significant enough to dismiss other than one night stands. I had a few fuck buddies who couldn't keep up another couple with amazing chemistry but one I couldn't have as he was never mine and the other ditched me for a relationship he never wanted.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Loss of respect, it's not very nice when the other is disrespectful. Having said that, I also have lost respect for a partner and once I do it's hard to get it back from that point. Umm...put simply, having someone just ignore my heart and needs is a big killer for me. Basically when a guy is being an insensitive ignorant arse. It's see you later. A guy who doesn't know how to stoke the fire. Men who don't realise that you have to be able to emote to grow a relationship past a certain point. Many don't know how, or even if they are aware of what they are not doing, they are just too scared or too lazy to try. Pretending not to see the white elephant in the room. It's frustrating and draining to be around........they turn into 'the serial guy'.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I would definitely question if it's worth staying when - I'm taken for granted, - I'm shown no appreciation, - I'm no longer given the same level of attention, - The fire in his eyes when he looks at me has died. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Once the cons out way the pros it was time to move on. But now I think some pros and cons are not equal. Respect and being taken for granted are definitely biggies. The main thing for me now is happiness. Am I happy with this person, if not why? can it be fixed? if not it's 'adios amigo'. I also use to think Love was a bigger pro than it is. Like it's some sort of magical word." but I love her" I would say to myself like that would fix everything. I think I could have saved myself and my ex a lot of heartache over the final years if we looked at it more about whether we were happy together rather than how much we loved each other.
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RHP User
10 years ago
First marriage I ended when I finally realised two things, he was never going to put me first and he was never going to be there when I needed him most. It was the birth of our son that brought it forward and it gave me strength so start again. Second time he ended it and now is living with another man, even some of better marriages cant survive hiding your true self.
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RHP User
10 years ago
tulips4u summed it up perfectly. Also when you lose respect for them or feel resentful - both surefire relationship killers. Never take your partner for granted, what you did to attract them - keep doing to keep them. Never forget that your partner is still a man/woman not just an extension of you or your kids. Touch them, kiss them properly, grab their arse, tell them you love them and why....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Lie after lie after lie o and $380000 missing
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Seachange
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' walked out on me, I didn't really get a say. I haven't had anyone else significant enough to dismiss other than one night stands. I had a few fuck buddies who couldn't keep up another couple with amazing chemistry but one I couldn't have as he was never mine and the other ditched me for a relationship he never wanted. I feel your pain and the sadness. But you are a strong resilient woman and much admired for your kindness, sense of fairness and a willingness to be open to possibilities. Anhyway, I speak for myself. Your post made me sad and sending you a big cyber hug across the seas. XXX
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
I base all my decisions of who to have in my life on the saying: "lie down with dogs wake up with fleas"... If I feel I am getting fleas I exit- I often don't even say why- it's not my place to judge people. Xxviolet
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Violetincredible' I base all my decisions of who to have in my life on the saying: "lie down with dogs wake up with fleas"... If I feel I am getting fleas I exit- I often don't even say why- it's not my place to judge people. Xxviolet Isn't' that terribly unfair on the other person? You must have caused a lot of heart ache in your time. Saying you don't judge people is a bit of a cop out isn't it?
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
No it isn't. People live how they want to- who is to say how I want to live is correct? There is no point telling somebody who believes they are right that they aren't- maybe they are- it is just my opinion that I don't like how they are living. People change and in another couple years you might meet up with them and they are in another life phase and then there is no bad blood- there were no arguments or painful accusatory things said and you may get on well again. I don't think I have ever broken anyone's heart :) I'm still in touch with most of the people who have meant a lot to me in my life. And those I'm not I'm sure I will come across again some day and we will be friends. I don't break hearts. Xxviolet
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RHP User
10 years ago
I may have misunderstood what you were saying, I thought you meant that you left without telling them why at all. Without giving any reason just disappeared one day, which I think would be really unfair.
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Circe
10 years ago
We need to be strong to make those decisions... My marriage because I had lost all trust and respect... Subsequent relationships because I wasn't getting what I needed out of the relationship. In one of those many of the things he was saying were not adding up so trust issues reared their ugly head again. I really need to feel total trust otherwise I start to get anxious. In each case I'm glad I made the decision.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you pull into your driveway and you don't want to get out of the car it's time to say goodbye. Sometimes I'd just sit around the corner and cry because I didn't want to see my husband. I couldn't be bothered with being ignored and unappreciated. It was also when I realised that I was becoming a lesser person because of all the fighting
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RHP User
10 years ago
I hadn't been on this site for a while, so It was a pleasant surprise to see your responses. Food for thought...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'NormalManWanted' When you pull into your driveway and you don't want to get out of the car it's time to say goodbye. Sometimes I'd just sit around the corner and cry because I didn't want to see my husband. I couldn't be bothered with being ignored and unappreciated. It was also when I realised that I was becoming a lesser person because of all the fighting
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inspirit
10 years ago
I could never regain my trust and respect back for my then husband. When do I give up on FB, FWB's - when it starts to become complicated.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Once when I woke up to the fact that a sexless relationship was painful for me. The other time, stupidly and mistakenly. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' Once when I woke up to the fact that a sexless relationship was painful for me. - Posted from rhpmobile When the effort of maintaining a relationship became too difficult for my other half (among other reasons), she eventually fell out of love with me (her words) but she said it was nothing I did. I first noticed different excuses to not be intimate, then to not want to travel to see me (an hour), even going back to meeting half way or at her house she seemed emotionally distant, and it was gut wrenching when I kissed her and felt she wasn't kissing me back. This was despite doing everything I could to try to change the course. I made the decision to end it, for one to take it out of her hands which I was expecting, and also because it was unbearably painful to have what eventually became unrequited love.
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RHP User
10 years ago
has stated very succinctly, why I would end an "intimate" relationship with a RHP man. With regard to "relationships" in general, I feel that if a person is not willing to "fight (metaphorically) to keep you" or if the relationship ends "without another word being said", then the relationship was meant to end. It was a foregone conclusion. I believe that "Anything worth keeping is worth fighting for". Amy
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