M55
What happened to manners ?
December 26 2011
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Perhaps we should ask your wife? Now, before you get your back up at me, I'd like to point out that I consider lying to the person that is supposed to mean the most to you, to be much "worse manners" than refusing to reply to a message of "hey your hot spred em fer me". Just sayin.
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The_lex
13 years ago
burn..lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
So Bratzill i'm the knot married person on here without their partners knowledge am I? Well let's just stop and think shall we. Ever thought that there well might be a reason y i'm on here? Do you know my personal circumstances I doubt it. Has ur partner been wheelchair bound for the last 4email years leaving u to look after her and a young family. Thought not so b4 u get all high and mighty think next time. Everyone has a different story to tell. Sorry for the rant but some people give me the shots at times
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RHP User
13 years ago
I haven't bothered to check (I trust Bratzillas ability to read) - so yep, you'll find most people here don't respond to messages if they think you're not going to click. If you're here cheating on your partner... well then the people you're likely to click with just dropped by a heap. . Face it - you're of no use to someone who is looking for a long term relationship, and it's a lot easier to have no strings sex with someone single without the threat of a psycho wife out to hunt you down if she finds out about you. So good luck in the niche that you need to carve out, but don't whinge if you get no replies, just rest easy at night that you're not alone (no I'm not talking about your wife... I mean that plenty of messages on here go unanswered) PS - Just how is replying to your messages a time-saving for the people you are messaging
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RHP User
13 years ago
ManThursday - yes I understand your angst but remember a lot of the women and couples here get inundated with messages. And a lot of them are from people who clearly didn't read their profile so why would they waste their time responding with that 'thanks, no thanks' to someone who clearly didn't meet their criteria.Bratzilla - I take it you personally know ManThursday's domestic situation and your tirade(which was completely off topic) was justified. I also hope you are including all the married women on here you are advertising for 'a bit on the side'. Yes married men and women are a problem here for some but I would bet a good percentage of the couple profiles are made without any knowledge of the partner in that couple too. Please, get off your high horse, he has made his decision and will hopefully accept any consequences if they happen.
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uneventful
13 years ago
I dont know, but I consider I have been around for a fairly long time, and I consider I am able to actually read what people write instead of what people want to read .. Sure . this guy says he is Married .. and he wants to stay that way ... HENCE he is not looking for a permanent other partner .. just someone to have fun with when he is away ... IT DOES NOT SAY he is cheating .. for all anyone knows .. he may well have permission to play whilst away .. but does not want to become ROMANTICALLY involved in where it desolves his marriage .. so he wishes to be descreet .. also the aspect is that he may not want other family members knowing ... Descretion takes on many forms .. ( its a bit hard to be specific when there are set words to use in a profile) .. maybe RHP should include attached / married without or without permission as oposed to open relationship ... This is an adult dating site .. and as such he is asking for a date .. with who and where it goes to I consider will be between those two .. Everyone has their own views on relationships and play/cheeting ... but please .. dont force your views down everyone elses throats so to speek .. and please dont make assumtions
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'celebree' I dont know, but I consider I have been around for a fairly long time, and I consider I am able to actually read what people write instead of what people want to read .. Sure . this guy says he is Married .. and he wants to stay that way ... HENCE he is not looking for a permanent other partner .. just someone to have fun with when he is away ... IT DOES NOT SAY he is cheating .. for all anyone knows .. he may well have permission to play whilst away .. but does not want to become ROMANTICALLY involved in where it desolves his marriage .. so he wishes to be descreet .. also the aspect is that he may not want other family members knowing ... Descretion takes on many forms .. ( its a bit hard to be specific when there are set words to use in a profile) .. maybe RHP should include attached / married without or without permission as oposed to open relationship ... This is an adult dating site .. and as such he is asking for a date .. with who and where it goes to I consider will be between those two .. Everyone has their own views on relationships and play/cheeting ... but please .. dont force your views down everyone elses throats so to speek .. and please dont make assumtions Ditto This is not red hot , get on your white horse sight and look down noses at people. If you don’t want a married guy then fine, that’s your choice. He may not get replies for a lot of reasons as do all males and females on this site. Its not about manners only, some people just do not have the time to reply or are just dicking around on here one hand in lap. This site is hardly the place to throw moral stones.
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RHP User
13 years ago
The assorted parts of the OP's profile, including listing himself as married and "discretion required as I would like to stay that way" as well as a reference to something along the lines of "a bit of extra excitement" led me to conclude that he is cheating. I may or may not be correct. The fact that he lists safe sex as "if required" is something that I dearly hope he has discussed with his wife, as she is at risk of STI transmission (again, assuming he and his wife are still sexually active) and has a right to be part of that decision as it is her health as well as his that is at risk. I reserve the right to assume the OP is cheating and placing his loved one at risk, just as he reserves the right to assume that I have no manners because I do not reply to messages that are clearly outside my preferences. All things considered, he asked for an opinion on an issue and he got mine. I did not try to ram it down anyone's throat, nor was I abusive. I merely answered the question in a way I saw fit. From my perspective, having never cheated, nor been cheated on, nor been the person with whom someone else's partner has cheated (within my knowledge), and having never contracted an STI, I find it highly ironic that the OP is concerned about "manners". Can he really cast the first stone?
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RHP User
13 years ago
If he has her blessing he's not cheating and he should say so and make her avail to confirm that. If he asks for discretion he's fucking around. if she does't know the location doesn't matter, he's cheating once again........not that i care.........just clearing up a point.....
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uneventful
13 years ago
Yes Bratzilla .. I agree in part with your second posting .. and yes everyone is entitield to their opinion .. (my reference to raming it down .. is not personally about you .. its more about the forever done over posting here by multiple people always on the same or similar topic .. ) I see the aspect of Safe sex if required .. being .. if we get that far then YES it will be safe sex .. For oral sex is not playing safe sex .. unless you are using DAMS and such .. (male and or female condoms ..- for the STI can and do LIVE in the throat and can be passed by oral sex contact) .. Also .. a requestforr a drink does not require the practice of safe sex .. unless your sharing the same drink / straw .. I agree .. if he is outside YOUR desired criteria then .. its a NO GO ZONE .. I personally do send messages back saying thanks but no thanks .. as the OP says .. its saves time for all and reduces antaganism and the need for persons to post such as this posting .. if they persist or argue . then they are blocked .. but then thats my way of dealing with messages .. it may not be everones way .. but to me maners go a long way .. I have been the receipent of being cheeted on .. hence why Im now divorced and on here ... but it is in the past .. and thats where for me it stays .. life goes on and people should enjoy it .. PS .. i didnt take your posting as abusive ..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Are you saying you have her blessing to seek satisfaction elsewhere? If so, I'd clarify that in your profile. If not, I'm not going to feel sorry for you. We all have our shit to carry, my friend, it's how we carry it that defines us. My family history involves some serious backlash, including child abuse (not of me, but it was a close thing) because of cheating, so to quote your fine self, "everyone has a different story to tell". So yeah, it's a touchy thing for me. I also work up to 16 hours a day and have averaged one day off a month in the last 6 months (Xmas break being the glorious, decadent exception). If I choose to spend my day off shagging the person whose message got my attention, rather than replying to a couple of hundred people I'm not interested in, does that seriously make me rude and a bad person? You asked a generic question and got a generic answer. There is ALWAYS mitigating circumstances. Just sayin ;)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Clarifying my point, although I realise I sound defensive :P it's ok, I have no objection to a healthy debate, alternate opinions welcome :) *hugs*
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RHP User
13 years ago
I guess if you are pressured for time and discretion, then planning a meet becomes the focus of your time and the 'no replies' can seem a waste of your time. . Mostly, a 'no reply' is a reply in itself.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If we don't reply we're rude (we have busy lives and don't have time to go through the dozens of messages and flirts that we get) If we reply with a no thank you...we are rude, abused and questioned as to why not If we write, I'm not interested on your profile it's ignored anyway and then you're condemned for not answering We just can't win with you people, seriously
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RHP User
13 years ago
Tirade? Perhaps you should brush up on your language skills, that was far from a tirade. It was an answer to the question. I don't see how it was off topic, either? I was questioning his manners, just as he was questioning mine, without any regard for personal circumstance. And for what it's worth, yes I'm a judgmental bitch, and I tar all with the same brush. If you're cheating, you're cheating. I will no more sleep with a married woman than I will with a married man (without their partner's permission). Also, goodgrlz, I agree, I was trying to answer as many as possible at first, but after abusive responses for saying no, or being asked to help them rewrite their profile, or meet up anyway just for coffee, or "why not what's wrong with me" etc etc etc, I am now going with "no reply is a reply" for most messages. Yes, the rude, inconsiderate pigs have ruined it for the good eggs once again. Sorry, such is life. Also, if someone doesn't want a response, don't post! Surely you guys aren't conceited enough to think everyone on here will just agree with you?!? If you don't want a difference of opinion, don't ask for one! :P
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RHP User
13 years ago
delayed posting certainly throws a spanner in at times doesn't it? . OP ummmm I'm sorry but this is not frikkin cool, you may not like my opinion but suck it up princess!!!! Does your wheelchair bound wife know? because if it's without her blessing, it's still cheating. and I want to yell FOUR YEARS !!!! is that all before you can't keep it in your pants? But I won't
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RHP User
13 years ago
He's married, he says so, there are no nasty surprises. He would like to stay married which means he's going to be bloody careful about loosing the mrs and kids. The unpleasant thing is around here is all the people who list themselves as single but are really married and don't say anything. I have softened somewhat over the years, i used to be very militant. But life is all about teaching you lessons isn't it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
The OP's second post has shown up ...about 3 down from the top
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RHP User
13 years ago
Its not very nice to the general populace to think someone may be sexually active behind their husband/wife's back, however, there are circumstances that cause these people to make this decision. However, having said that, what difference should it make to you and what you choose to do? I am very old fashioned in many of my ideas, but on this one subject, I feel I am more open minded than many many of you swingers who will go to a club and do whatever with whomever.If the OP is not someone with whom you don't want to spend time, then fine, don't spend time with him. Don't interact with him at all if you don't like the very small amount he has said about his personal circumstances. The man asked a question, why not accord him a little general respect and answer just that question? Mooka, well said. Your words are as usual, straight to the point and very relevant. ManThursday, I agree. Our society is fast losing all of our social niceties and unfortunately, those of us who still use our manners are being crowded out and down-cried by those who have either forgotten a world with manners, or never had any to begin with. To be fair also, many people are very busy these days and simply don't have time to sit and answer all messages, but I guess, there is the template option for those who don't meet selection criteria. Flirts take but a moment to reply to, I don't feel there is a justifiable excuse not to reply to those. Also, just for the record, I am in a relationship with a man who is in a somewhat similar situation to yourself and so I feel that qualifies me to step in and give my opinion. No, its not ideal for either one of us, me because I know our relationship won't progress any further than where it is now, and for him because he hates the lies. However we both live with our separate and shared thorns, and I am, as strange as it may seem, very very protective towards his wife. There is a phrase some of you (I would hope) may be familiar with, comes from an old book that before you die, perhaps you might consider picking up "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"Viking
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanx but no thanx orUse "i don't see our planets colliding"How hard can it be to use one of the simple replies above, those who have sent messages can see when you've read them, if we are not your cup of tea why not just say so.I was brought up not dragged up by my mother and manners never cost anything.Just bloody reply either way
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sure, if that's his reason...whatever. I'm just very sus about anyone, naturally suspicious (comes with the job) and naturally inquisitive...............proof? Anyone can spin any story they like but we all know they are not often true. Some dumb bitch will believe it fortunatly. By the way OP, not by any stretch saying this is the case with you..........just saying that it's not wise to swallow everything you're fed (pardon the pun)
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ruby_blossum
13 years ago
At least you know what their relationship status is.....and my reply would be "thanks but no thanks".Its the married - attached guys that say they are single that realllllly annoy me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I personally feel that the OP's marital circumstances are no one elses business except his own and any potential sexual partners. Sorry people but his question has very little to do with the way this topic has gone. He asked why people do not reply to messages. He does not put up a big sign saying..... "Come and fuck me I'm married and my wheelchair bound wife does not know" l In response to the original question..... l Some of us can and do respond politely to all messages and flirts unless the person can not take no for an answer. Then we exersize the right to block. Time is of the essence though and many on here are extremely busy people. Not getting a reply is a reply in itself. If you dont receive a reply then you can rest assured that the person does not want to have anything to do with you. What is wrong with the world these day? Mate...the world is exactly the same as it was ten, twenty or thirty years ago. It is the attitude of people that have changed...not the world.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My first thoughts were tainted by my own experience with replying to messages. I have tried to reply to all initial messages (and yes I still have about three that need replying, but shock horror I am not using an auto reply and want to put some thought in to them), but more often than not, the ones I reply to saying thanks, but as we dont match up, no thanks - get a reply from the guy saying "why not?!". Simple answer is, if you had bothered to read my profile and respect it, you wouldn't have sent me a message in the first place. That often makes them have a little kiniption and it spirals downhill. Yes, I realise my profile is very long - don't like it? move on to the next one but dont message me. I have it long because the sort of guy I am after WILL read it, not that hard really. There are many reasons people don't reply, but I would reason that a lack of reply equates with a lack of interest in most cases. @ ManThursday - do you make sure the person you are sending messages too has Married Men included in their profile? I specifically state NO married/attached men yet still get messages from them. Which is more lacking in manners? A lack of response to them, or THEM sending me a message in the first place totally ignoring or disrespecting my request? Making sure what you are offering matches what the person you are messaging wants, is the first step and showing them you have read their profile would increase the reply rate. Now I will admit I had an ironic chuckle when reading your profile - You asked what has happened to manners, and what has happened to the world these days? When I read your profile and saw you were married, then you requested discretion because you "wanted to stay that way" I assumed (yes assumed people, its a natural thought progress based on information given) your wife wasn't aware you were seeking sexual playmates. Reading your last comment here that your wife is in a wheelchair made me feel sad to be honest. For her. *IF* she doesn't know and hasn't given her approval, then how would she feel if she were to find out? If she does, then state make it clear so to remove any wrong "assumptions". Manners fall under morality - many would think a married man seeking sex outside the marriage would be immoral. Some of those would think couples seeking other couples, or a single mother seeking FWB is also immoral, so yes it's subjective. Regarding your comments to Bratzilla - As far as you being the only married man on here seeking sex with others, of course not! However, you missed the point I think. You were the married man who started a post questioning peoples manners and you were responded to. However, I have to give you credit for actually admitting you are married! If your wife is aware of it and thus your need for discretion is to also protect her (in that aspect) then I would suggest you add that to your profile.
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RHP User
13 years ago
OP..we live in a rude society - it is what it is, niceties are sop yesteryear.....people are rude every day in every way......our job it just to suck it up and when required be ever so polite back, walk your own talk.......I state quite clearly in my profile do not contact me if you are attached (it doesnt stop some) but I do politely answer their messages even if they are illiterate and seemingly cant read my profile.... (in fact I reply to ALL Messages - I ignore flirts, that are just way too trivial) , thanking them for their time, flattered by their contact but No....I will not knowingly contribute to another womans pain and misery...yep fair to say Ive been cheated on and yep Im bias..... and to be honest, I think there are more interesting issues on hand to write about on a forum In regards to your own circumstances, well normally I wouldnt personally comment but you put it out there on your second post, so I will.. I commend you for at least being honest in your profile that you are married..kudos to you, any potential partner knows exactly where she stands up front...(and this could be why you arent receiving answers - duh !!).....however and I realise I am assuming here because yep I do not know the WHOLE story.....only by what you have have posted. You state on your profile your requirement for discretion - fair enough, so I would take that, as yes you are cheating on your wheelchair bound wife (and kids) . If you two have come to an arrangement thereby you can play due to her circumstances..hell thats fine, all marriages have a degree of compromise...if you are playing though without your wife's knowledge or for want of a better word, consent..that is cheating and in my opinion, down rite despicable because one assumes that the playing field is not level as she cant play.....is that fair or rite ...is in fact that good mannered ????. Theres a section in the marriage vows ( I remember as I was married once) that states that you love honor and cherish your chosen partner thru sickness and in health, thru good times and bad, Im just wondering which part of the vows your focussing on rite now ??? marriage vows sholdnt go flying out the window because of one partners circumstances changed dowsn the track. especially via circumstances that they couldnt help.(again assumption) ...isnt true love about sticking it out ???? If you are looking for a release for your sexual frustration..do you really think a sex site will help...??? Meets from here usually require a fair bit of planning, contacting, sms. meeting and playing discreetly etc...how can you do all of that if you are in fact looking after your invalid wife and children and one assumes working ? are you not better off with the services of a professional lady ??? Just some thoughts... and ruby _blossuming....dont get me started on the ones that say they are single and in fact married/partnered....I agree with you , plain annoying and also ....no balls !!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I dont reply if its clear he hasnt read my profile, is out of my age group, or I just know hes not what im looking for... I dont have time to reply to all the messages, that would pretty much leave me no time for the forums lol....
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RHP User
13 years ago
I cannot express how disappointed I am in RHP management for continually allowing posts on this subject. It has been flogged to death many times before. Why not point people in the direction of prvious posts on this subject so as not to waste anyone's time.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You don't have to read or post
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RHP User
13 years ago
newkee
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RHP User
13 years ago
ChrisJM, how long have you been a member and reading the forums? You need to develop the "FER" (Forum Eye Roll) its an evolutionary thing that you get after you 've seen the same subject posted over and over and over ad nauseum. Speaking personally, I just skim over most topics these days as they've been done to death, and it seems in the evolution of the RHPer, we've lost the ability to go back into the forum archives to research our questions.... or we're just trying to draw attention to ourselves and make ourselves seem more intelligent (so tempted to add 'than we really are) I might just add that I'm not using the Royal 'we' here, I often go back and read old old threads, more for the amusement value than anything else because it seems no-one can write original funny stuff anymore.Right you lot, get back to discussing manners...Viking
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RHP User
13 years ago
Guess its like the weight debate, or size, or guys not getting enough attention on here... We all love it so it keeps getting posted :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
indeed the man appears to cheating on his wife with or without her knowledge but at least he says it in the profile, it has nothing to do with the question asked, if your not helping answer the question why even post a reply? keep it on topic. i've been on this site for a very little time and have seen the same people seem to post off topic just to give their opinion of the the person. i know it makes me hesitant to post anything myself because i might be subjeted to critical analysis instead of gaining any help. then again this is right off topic too isn't it? haha guess i'm no better
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RHP User
13 years ago
indeed the man appears to cheating on his wife with or without her knowledge but at least he says it in the profile, it has nothing to do with the question asked, if your not helping answer the question why even post a reply? keep it on topic. i've been on this site for a very little time and have seen the same people seem to post off topic just to give their opinion of the the person. i know it makes me hesitant to post anything myself because i might be subjeted to critical analysis instead of gaining any help. then again this is right off topic too isn't it? haha guess i'm no better
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RHP User
13 years ago
(yeah that was for you Mike) . the1st steveoh good luck with that......off topic posting hehe whatcha gunna do about it Normally Mr.JJ smacks my ass for it, you got any better offers
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RHP User
13 years ago
I really gotta stop being so lazy with the spell check . ME not my....groan Chris, sorry...........that sounded a little more catty than it was supposed too. Viking is completely correct...........eyeroll is te way to go here.....eyeroll and move on. Certain topics around here are a little like platform shoes, they always seem to keep coming back
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'brizzyguy62'theres no point in arguing .if hes cheating he comes here with no rights to demand anything. None of us have the right to demand anything.
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RHP User
13 years ago
The lack of manners here is just a reflection of manners out in the real world... and there aren't many
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RHP User
13 years ago
no. we wouldnt reply. we state in our profile that we are not interested in attached people. singles only. we'd be of the mind that our profiles not been read, or its been ignored, either way, we've already said no....... why say it in a message too? theres no way we'd construe a note under these circumstances to be either 'polite' or show 'common decency'........ if others felt the same way, we'd not see it as unreasonable or rude for them to not reply. if i say in my profile that i'm a rude bastard at times......... does that excuse my behaviour?
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RHP User
13 years ago
To reiterate my point, I was stating that I think the OP's manners are worse than mine :P I don't consider my post off topic.*shrug*I may not reply to complete strangers on a sex site, but I honestly don't think that it's bad manners. Bad manners is subjective, I work in both hospitality and retail and I have seen some of the most deporable displays of bad manners, particularly in the week leading up to Xmas. I would never throw money at someone behind the counter or click my fingers at a waitperson like they are a dog! Manners are in the eye of the beholder, like so many other things. If it helps I do have a tendency to say "thankyou" after sex
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xFunlovingx
13 years ago
Yeah right...and I am Cleopatra recarnate!! Lol the girls that say they "get so many messages I just don't have the time to reply" are living in lala land and just want everyone on the Forums to believe they are SO popular! Actually when a girl first joins, yes the messages do come in thick and fast as the men can smell fresh meat...but .. not too long after..those messages die down! . Why do women not reply to messages? OP maybe you should look in your sent messages and see how many have actually been opened! Some women are just here to boost their ego's and get attention they would never get in the real world = they don't even read messages! Some "single" women are in fact a couple, you will find most of these in the chatrooms as they don't have to pay to get in the chatrooms = will not reply anyway as they are a couple and not a "single" female as advertised! Some girls just have manners, no matter whether the guy meets their criteria or not and actually do reply to all messages = real women! . There are no excuses in not answering messages. There are templates that can be used...to use the template is actually quicker than deleting the message! Most women don't read your profile either...they will look at the pic and make their judgement from there...goes both ways! . This topic has been done to death...but the OP could be new to the Forums and didn't realise! If you don't like that it is done over and over Chris then don't read or post! So has the "cheating" thread...but then again that is not what this topic is about! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
13 years ago
I suppose I am in some peoples eyes, after 12 yrs of clebacy with a wife struck down with MS I was given permission to "play away from home." It was not something I asked for and I would not wish my circumstance on anyone. All the replies I have had from ladies on this site have been generous in their sentiments, and I have met a couple of them and developed none sexual friendships with them after we both realised exactly where we stood. VikingBitch thanks for your consideration towards your FWB.
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RHP User
13 years ago
some of us wont play with attached.....doesnt matter what the circumstances at home might be..... permission, open relationship, able to play seperately, or even cheating. we just dont feel an attached guy gives us the options and flexibilty that a single guy does...........
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uneventful
13 years ago
you really only have whats typed into a profile on what a persons relationship status is ... as do we all ... a text type indication is NO absolute proof .. heeps here put single when they do have some type of attachment .. and I have found quite a few who have written an Attachment (married, open relationship, attached) when in fact they are actually single ..
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RHP User
13 years ago
we know that... but if it says 'ask me'.... we wont, and if it says 'attached' we dont pursue it... if it comes out later, we say a polite 'no' and leave it at that... further correspondance is not invited...
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RHP User
13 years ago
always ask first and accept the answer! manners and respect!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
FunLoving pretty much nailed it by saying more then a few are just seeking attention to boost failing ego's. ManThursday, you should know by now that a portion of society will deem you wrong for daring to suggest a woman might be wrong or might be anything other then virginally pure & innocent. Now that aside & on a personal note I carry my real world persona with me online & in the real world I'm not often ignored. Now I'm not sure if its due to been 6'6" or that I have a "presence or charisma" about myself (or maybe a combo) I also suffer with a major handicap in speaking my mind either online or in person. So to anyone that I have been harsh to online feel free to approach me when you see me out & about & I'll happily tell you the same thing to your face.
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xFunlovingx
13 years ago
BURPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
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xFunlovingx
13 years ago
Pardon me....forgot my manners! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
13 years ago
I reply to almost all of my messages and flirts. If I don't, it may be the tone of the message that prompts me to ignore it. Manners, like many other things, may be a matter of priorities. Some things that are acceptable to some may not be to others. I was once in a bad marriage that I remained in for the sake of the children but had an affair. Foolish, I know, but I thought it was the best course of action at the time. Ofcourse, I was found out and the marriage collapsed. This was for the best as I am now in a stable, happy marriage with the man I had the affair with. It would have been better for my kids if I had left my first husband earlier rather than drag them through what arose from the split. Hindsight, right? Any way, I can understand how some people might find it justified to cheat. Still, to others, cheating IS bad manners and more important than not returning a message. Live and let live. If your priorities don't match those of another, move on. It wouldn't have worked out anyway. Pointless to dwell on it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If you write a profile that state what you are looking for, and if people actually read your profile before they contacted you there would not be a problem..... We have had single straight guy send flirts saying: You’re exactly what I’m looking for. Please message me I’m keen... It states in our profile we are NOT looking for straight single males... So why should we return the flirt or send a message wasting our 5 messages when they have not read our profile??? We also state that we will NOT respond to single straight males or cheats as we are not interested in them.... So to single straight males and guys bisexual that are cheating on their partners who don’t read our profile come under lies and time wasters..... So before you put pen to paper read the profile first......
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RHP User
13 years ago
Maybe I am old fashioned but I always try to make the effort to reply to all messages and winks. It isn't that hard to set up an automated reply or two and send one of them if they do not meet your criteria. Surely no one is so unundated that you can't take a few seconds to reply, and if you are that inundated....lucky you! Even so you can still reply even if it is a llittle later.Everyone has their own personal reasons for choosing to be on sites like these and who are we to judge them as to why they do.....afterall you are also on here!In almost every case where I have replied I have had a message back - thanking me for the decency of replying and wishing me all the best.
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RHP User
13 years ago
What a cop out!! Im sorry your wife is in a wheelchair, if she really is we can only guess at the truthfullness of ones claims. Every committed person who is on these kinds of sites, without their partners knowing or consent has an excuse ..they don't want me....they don't please me' and they are all cop outs!! If you and your wife have arrived at a stage in your marriage where you need more sexual attention than she can provide, she should either know about your going ons here or you both should work something more appropriate out.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I would want my hubby to get laid, i would still want him to stay married to me. The issue is proof. What proof does any woman here have that what you say is true? Take your word for it.....................?...............bahahahahahaha!!!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
The OP did actually say he was cheating but hey....how do you all know that he may just FEEL that way because he is out there looking about. For all intents and purposes you are all just jumping to conclusions. His wife may know and just pretends not to. You know just turning away and saying "I just dont want to know. You go right ahead and do what you need but just dont let me find out" Kinda head in sand but then some people are like that. Hence the need for discretion. Even if his wife did know, I doubt if she would want it rubbed in her nose now would she? What a sancimonious, holier than thou attitude some on here have. Nice to see so many upstanding citizens who have never done a damn thing wrong in thier lives. Good on you all. Take a pat on the back!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Two, three? How about you ask a girl how her day was etc? Is it that difficult? You might find it surpising, but there is such a thing like connection and that takes more than few messages ( on the same day!!! ffs!) Anyway, if you dont get my point listen to her http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjNk1bVQMiY&feature=relmfu Hope you get the point
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RHP User
13 years ago
At this risk of being totally berated and struck down by the moral views of so many on this forum, I will make this comment 'Who cares if the guy is married?' So, I choose to play with guys who may be married. I haven't had any issues with it so far. I'm not here to break up their marriage, but just to have simple NSA sexy fun. Surely, it can only be considered cheating, if it becomes more 'involved'? I guess I must be unusual, but I don't judge what other people choose to do in or out of their marriages. The hormones & endorphins don't automatically shut down just because we have promised ourselves to one person...If two strangers are attracted to one another, then that chemistry is lust & can be purely physical....no need for judgement or recriminations. Maybe I am being simplistic, but is this not a 'SEX' site? Has everyone lost the ability to separate casual sex from meaningful relationships? Is it not better for a highly sexed man or woman to seek out non-commited, extra-marital fun than to get embroilled in an illicit affair? Surely this is far less hurtful & confronting. I think 'Chilli' makes this point very well, 'To say it more simply, perhaps there might be a situation where cheating actually saves a marriage (and I'm not saying ManThursday is cheating). His wheelchair bound wife is in all probability reliant on his financial, emotional and physical support. If a raging libido prevented him from staying with a wife possibly unable to provide sexual fulfilment and relief for ManThursday (again no assumption that this is the case) then strict adherence to a moral code could leave his wife in a much worse situation, that being, ManThursday leaving her to be sexually fulfilled by other women. In that case, leaving a wheel chair bound wife would be more reprehensible morally than cheating on her!' So, to assume that someone is 'cheating' on their partner by seeking sexual experiences outside of the marriage, is a broad-sweeping opinion and may not be the case at all. Regarding the topic of manners, then I would agreed whole-heartedly with 'VikingBitch' 'ManThursday, I agree. Our society is fast losing all of our social niceties and unfortunately, those of us who still use our manners are being crowded out and down-cried by those who have either forgotten a world with manners, or never had any to begin with. To be fair also, many people are very busy these days and simply don't have time to sit and answer all messages, but I guess, there is the template option for those who don't meet selection criteria. Flirts take but a moment to reply to, I don't feel there is a justifiable excuse not to reply to those.' Lubes x
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RHP User
13 years ago
so so so tired of getting messages from guys that are well below my specified age range....that are married or attached.....that write one liners like..."how was your day"....'your hot...wanna $@*%"..... or something equally intellegent while showing a profile that has the same stupid shit in it over and over again that tells you nothing about the person and has no pics...private or otherwise. Call me bad mannered but I am not going to reply to these messages...and my profile states clearly that I find flirts to be a complete waste of time so I dont answer them either. I also consider no reply to be a pretty clear "NO". There is no obligation for anyone to answer a message, a flirt or accept a chat request. I dont feel rude to ignore these advances from a complete strangers because as stated before, they have either not read my profile or they have completely ignored it. This has nothing to do with being busy....or having so many messages I just cant answer them all....it is purely because I really cant be bothered......
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RHP User
13 years ago
Married men, available through circumstance or not - are NOT every woman's dream. Why should they be expected to be second choice for any man! Maybe a 'professional lady' would be more suitable for you. Manners work both ways.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We agree with De_mystifyde... Only today we got a message from a bi-guys in NSW and we are in WA Saying what he wanted us to do to him, I read his profile which was made up of 5 words only.... Tells us a lot about him NOT..... So we just blocked him with out sending a message back... OK all you lovely people out there Have a happy new year and be good.. If you cant be good be good at being norty....
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RHP User
13 years ago
If you really want to ask the question about what happened to manners.......what about the w#*%ers out there that do chat to you, arrange to meet you and then don't turn up. Not only do they not turn up, but they do not send a text to tell you they are not comoing, do not reply to text messages, do not leave you any messages and then have the audacity to block you so you cannot even send a message to find out why they did not turn up. Seriously...where is the manners in that?There are a lot of peopole out there that do not deserve to have replies, but it doesn't hurt to send a polite thanks but no thanks......unless they won't take no for an answer, then you delete and block.When we join these sites we automatically assume that there will be a common respect to all, and if we expect it from others then we must be willing to give some in return. Unfortunately there are far to many people out there that have forgotten what manners are and make it very frustrating for everyone else to have to deal with it.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Never mind about "what happened to Manners", but...what about "What happened to Proper Marriage?" where you stick with the same partner?Dont get me wrong, I dont care if you sleep around or cheat or have your partner's permission, but.. If I'm to marry a woman, I, then, dont need another women, regardless of what happens to her...(of course, unless she dies, we get divorced, etc etc)Call me old fashion but...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ok I'm going to play devil's advocate here.... In reply to The_Seeker: so you call your self Old Fashion.. Tell me why are you on a sex site looking for a wife?? This to me sounds like you are very desperate indeed. If I was not married and old fashion I would not be on a sex site looking for a wife... as people on these sites are looking for sex and singles and couples to play with..... If you want a wife thats going to be good and old fashion go to church thats where all the good girls are... Everyone here are looking for naughty people and yes some do get married but they like to stay in the playing game too... So I hope you do find that naughty girl.... But you may not be able to change her to a good girl..... Dam this is going to be a good year
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RHP User
13 years ago
This was a posting about manners but it's become a debate about what constitutes cheating. I know some very polite men who say please and thank you and will open the door for a lady but play up behind their wife's back. They cheat in the most well mannered way. As far as manners go, not responding to a message that was sent to an uninterested person doesn't seem too offensive to me. There are far worse manners displayed right here on the forums. People who react angrily to your posts with out trully understanding the point trying to be made. People resorting to profanity when their arguements are not strong enough to support their own veiw. People making threats or belittling other people. People making fun of others' statements without offering a counterpoint to show that those statements are wrong. Others who, when they really can't beat the other's arguement, change the subject and try to put words in your mouth. Some people are threatened when a veiw they don't agree with is put forward with a strong case and become offensive. These are far more concerning examples of illmannered persons then of one ignoring an unwelcome advance.
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
Sad but true facts are as follows:**'Yes this topic has been done to death for those that don't like it don't post, simple! everyone has the right to voice an opinion or post a topic whether it has been done before or not.** Married or not playing with consent or not if the guy sends a message it really isn't too much to ask for a reply (even a template 'no thanks') ** if the person receiving the message feels that the person sending has not read the profile and yet messaged anyway then use the standard quick reply of "sorry you don't match what i am looking for" stop carrying on about it and move on!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I dont think so gtbi_mm you just wanted to stir the pot a little just the same as The_Seeker did. . If I was in the market for a husband, I think I would be better off looking on a sex site for one. Not all on people sex sites want to swing. Some prefer one on one only. Not all straight people go to church and I think it very rude of you to make these assumptions on behalf of us all. Personally I would rather get the sexual relationship right straight up than worrying about looking for extra-marital fun after the event
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RHP User
13 years ago
not all people on sex sites want to swing.....we've yet to meet a couple we agree on, so are happy exploring mmf 3's, not sure if we'll ever swing, and that doesnt worry either of us in the slightest..........
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RHP User
13 years ago
Handmaiden yes I am shit stiring but he ask for it does not mean I aimed this at all straight people.. As for you single geting to 50 sound like you not got it right partner yet heheheh Sorry just shit stiring again as this was about manners was it not..... Good manners is what keeps a good marige going oh and love, hot sex, I been married 30 years now and my wife say I got good manners...... If I upset you I apologise but it was only aimed at The_Seeker no one else.... See I got plenty of manners Some of us find the right partner early in life so later in life we like to play.. some play first then find a partner to settle down with....
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RHP User
13 years ago
"As for you single geting to 50 sound like you not got it right partner yet heheheh" l There you go making tactless assumptions without using your manners at all. Maybe I did find the right partner and maybe he died. One never knows on this site now does one? l "Some of us find the right partner early in life so later in life we like to play.. some play first then find a partner to settle down with...." l and some of us like to spend our whole lives at play.
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RHP User
13 years ago
May I ask to whom im typing to? the Male half.. or the female half?nevermind.. For your information.. My post is NOT about me looking for a wife.. (even tho.. As most people would? Many found theirs in odd places..but if you must know, i am looking for a wife....but this does not consitute me as "Desperate"). In fact, its not about cheating. The whole point of it.. is about COMMUNICATION. if one knows how to communicate.. one can have manners. (of course, there are those that think they can communicate, but in reality, have no manners, in which case, the whole point of my previous post mights well be thrown out the window....)So in a sense, im not asking for it. You just merely thought I was....Now back to Topic....
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RHP User
13 years ago
You may think i was asking for it.. but you just merely thought i was.Please re-read my previous post, perhaps you might get the subtle point of it.:)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Where my manners: This is my naughty side I do love to stir the pot, if you can get people to bite then it would be a good night to go fishing..... Yes we all read what people say and everyone will take it different but these forms are all the same someone has to do the stiring.... Ok no assumptions as everyone is here for their own reasion... you just gatta learn to lighten up and know when someones pulling ya leg.. after all we assie are good at that.... So you guys take it easy and have a happy fun filled new year.. Dam I cant wait for april foods day.... I apologise if anyone took it the worng way..........
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MissSarahCurious
13 years ago
** if the person receiving the message feels that the person sending has not read the profile and yet messaged anyway then use the standard quick reply of "sorry you don't match what i am looking for" stop carrying on about it and move on!! Actually, I don't feel it's necessary to tell someone they're not what I'm looking for, because when they hit the 'message' button on my profile to initiate the message, the messaging system itself TELLS THEM that my preferences are a certain age, gender, relationship status and that they don't fit into one or two or perhaps even all of those categories.If they choose to hit the "Send anyway" button KNOWING they're not what I'm looking for, I don't owe them dick (err, so to speak)xx Sarah
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RHP User
13 years ago
MissSarah...has hit the proverbial nail on the head.....another reason to not respond....and an example of the lack of manners exhibited by the person sending the unwanted message in the first place........we now ignore those who are outside of what we have written, and block the married/attached/ask me profiles...........me....and she.....
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RHP User
13 years ago
I must say and I agree with several parties here...1) all facts need to be on the table2) courtesy is lost in today's words3) HONESTY is the best policy - is someone cannot take a "no thanks" he or she need the back of my hand :P
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well honesty is the best but try not to get violent over it..... You'll aways get bad manned people on here as they hide behind a key board.... Its like the bad manned people you arange to meet and go out and they dont turn up... They know you cant do a thing about it...
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RHP User
13 years ago
we are old school...we always use manners and common sence.. but plenty of people who grew up with neither it seems :(
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RHP User
13 years ago
My view is the internet chat world is like reality tv i.e not much reality/truth/realistic social interaction but in the end, you use your own common sense to weed out those you would not let into your life anyway - even for a few hours. The internet is a new social medium that cuts out the social build up but in the end you still have to use the same social judgement you would usually use and peole forget that, they project fantasy onto a reality which is a real person at the other end. Of course the internet is also a place where people cheat on spouses but who are we to judge someone elses situation - you're not involved in the going ons of an external relationship not relevant to you unless you are looking to build a social network of freinds and/or seek possible marriage via websites. Dont be hard on this guy - he is using a site intended for this stuff
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi! Hun :) I hope you do find a very nice fun Woman to make you're Life a little easier to share intimacy with This in turn tyou can share with your Partner even if only a Massage with dim ligh romantic music ... .Actually I was watching a Doco on People with mobility issues and sex..They showed couples some very severe issues enjoying sex in a Pool it was very sensua,l Intimate .Maybe you could give that a try I'm sure both you and your Wife would benefit from the experience..Good Luck! with it all Hun :) As for Replying to MSGs I always do, no matter how many I receive, I do very well. on here. I feel it's only fair they took the time to Contact me open themselves up ,so I return in kind with a very nice reply even if I'm not Interested I do wish them good Luck! with their search .... Enjoy Your Week .Keep Cool ..Ciao Lu :).
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RHP User
13 years ago
I can understand why some don't reply- time, reactions, internet connection (as is my case) I don't think it's fair to expect a reply or judge ppl if they don't. My stance is that if someone puts in the effort to send me a msg I like to reply I atm however have a ridiculously slow computer and barely have enough time to load the msgs/profiles let alone reply. I get through as many as I can but get more then I can manage at present hehe my inbox is my latest conquest lol and I have only beat it once! I don't delete msgs until I have replied out of courtesy- I am moving to the mainland in 2 weeks (she cheers) and will have super dooper speed then and will catch up on the 200+ msgs that I have now which are irking me since I last got on top of them.I don't care about reactions, I'd just feel sorry for them knowing that I did my bit. You can't help not having the time though.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was married to a woman who had very little interest in me. She even told me, at one point, to do what I like, "just don't tell me about it". Well, I went ahead and had me a proper time. Needless to say, that marriage did not end well.
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